Disclaimer: I don't own saiyuki or the characters. Nari and Yoko are my friend's characters. I knew I loved you belongs to Savage Garden. The haiku is mine.
8 Ways To Say I Love You
"When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman."-Anonymous(Sorry!)
Hakkai woke with a start being whipped in the face by a certain dragon. He reached to move the dragon over enough so he could get out of bed. The clock read 5:27 in the dark that precedes the dawn. He remembered what day it was, a grin slowly finding it's way to his face.
'Unbelievable how the time flies.' He thought, getting up to prepare his surprises he had planned today for a certain someone. He cast a fleeting glance to the bed on the other side of the room. Yoko, still sleeping soundly from the traveling, was sure to be out for another couple of hours. He had plenty of time. At that moment, Hakuryu woke up and cheeped at his master. Hakkai put a finger to his lips and signaled the dragon to come.
"It's just you and me Hakuryu. We have to do this quickly before everyone else wakes." Hakkai whispered to his pet, slowly making their way through the deserted corridor. The dragon simply perched on his master's shoulder, waiting what the day would bring.
"Ummm…. Gods…. Why does it have to so bright this early in the morning?"Yoko muttered through the blankets that covered her. She got up and hair fell in every which way. She looked out the window to see the bright and beautiful, slowly climbing in the sky. She glared at it.
"Damn you, sun. Burn out and stay the hell out!" she ranted, pulling the covers over her head. She rolled over, planning to go back to sleep when she heard a crinkling sound underneath her. She sat up and found a piece of paper under her. She unfolded and read its contents:
With no way to say
That while stars may be stunning
They pale before you.
-Hakkai
Yokoblushed as she read the haiku, unsure what to say. She was fully awake now and the words caused her to feel very embarrassed.
'Hakkai wrote this for me? Why? I mean…. Oh gosh! This is so nice and so sweet.' She thought, reading the words for the third time. 'I think I want to keep it for a while.'
She sighed and giggled, getting ready for breakfast. (Uh huh…. Sure she is….) She read the poem one last time before heading to the shower.
(Serephim: Honestly! It's just a haiku. Yoko: So what it's sweet! Serephim: Yeah you keep thinking that. God! Fools in love! Glad I'm not like you people. Yoko: Shut up and write already.)
Yokobounded down the stairs, smiling like a crazy because of the poem Hakkai wrote for her. When she got there, no one else was.
"Where did everyone go?" she asked looking for her companions, "Oh well. It's not like I've never eaten alone before."
She sat down, feeling slightly crestfallen. Her dish had a metal cover over it to keep the food from getting cold. She lifted the cover and her eyes widened in surprise. All her favorite foods were there.
"Wow! How nice! DidNari make breakfast this morning?" she asked herself, still eyeing her favorite foods. She spotted another piece of paper under her tea. She unfolded it, noticing it was from Hakkai.
This one read:
Yoko,
I hope you enjoy your breakfast. I won't have much time to see you this morning and much of this afternoon. I hope we will see more of one another tonight. I think the laundry should be done by now, in case you get bored.
Hakkai
Yokowas even more quizzical of the letters. Was he trying to hint at something? She decided to not think on it. She enjoyed her breakfast in peace.
After she finished breakfast, she went out to get the dried clothes. She busied herself with getting the clothes off the line and untangling them from each other.
'Note to self: Never let Goku and Gojyo do the laundry again.' She thought as she reached for one of the tangled shirts. It was rather bulky and hard to get off. So pulled on it until the shirt pulled free and fell to the ground. She picked up the shirt, and a bunch of flowers fell from the inside. Lilies, Cherry Blossoms, Roses, Peonies, Begonias, and a variety more appeared for the shirt. Her eyes widened, as she picked up the flowers and looked at them. 'Wow. Flowers? Did these…. Come from Hakkai? Oh gosh… This is getting weird.' She thought, blushing badly at the gift. She was very pleased but had no idea what any of this thoughtfulness meant. She finished pulling the clothes from the clothesline (Never let Gojyo and Goku do the laundry!), drops the basket inside and finds a place to put the flowers. She sits and begins to fold the clothes. Her thoughts were running a mile a minute, trying to figure out the ulterior motive behind his gifts.
The day was warm, the scent of pine and juniper filled the air while she was working on the clothes. 'I wonder what the gifts are for. Maybe Hakkai's trying to say something. I wonder….' She yawned, suddenly feeling the warmth of the day invade her. She fought a little but fell asleep on the bed of clothes.
Yoko woke back up later, remembering she was supposed to be doing the laundry. (Serephim: Sleeping on the job. Slacker. I bet you were drooling too. Hey what the….? Holy! What do you think you're! Stop it! STOP! You, bast….MMmph MMMPPPHHH!)
She looked around and noticed the clothes had disappeared. 'Oh no! Where did they go! They were here a while ago… But where…?' she heard a crinkling sound and immediately knew what it was. She opened the note from Hakkai and read it.
Yoko,
I apologize but you looked so tired. I took the clothes and did them myself so you could sleep. You've been working so hard lately that I decided you needed some rest. I hope you are well rested when you wake up.
-Hakkai
Yokowas really starting to get ticked off at all this behind the scene stuff. Really irritating.
'Why didn't he just come out and say what he wanted? Urrrgghh….. That's it I'm going to go talk to him. This is starting to get ridiculous!' she thought lifting herself off the bed. She ran down the stairs, right into Sanzo.
"Where the hell are you running to?" he growled at her.
"Where's Hakkai? I have to talk to him." She asked the priest.
"Outside." He sighed, pointing in the direction.
"Thanks." She ran down the hall and outside, not seeing Hakkai anywhere. She walked to the side of the inn and saw him, hanging more clothes to dry.
"Hakkai!" she called out to him, running towards the man.
"Ah. Yoko! How are you this lovely afternoon?" Hakkai smiled brightly at her approach.
"What are you up to? You have been leaving me notes, flowers, my favorite foods, and stuff like that all day! What's going on?" she asked the man before her.
"Would you like to go for a walk as soon as I'm done? I would appreciate the company." He asked her.
"Not until you tell me what's going on, Cho Hakkai!"
"The fresh air will do you good. Please?" He gave her that look she could absolutely not say no to.
"Okay…. But I want you to tell me what's going on."
"In due time." He simply said. She sighed, sitting down while he finished hanging the clothes. She thought, wondering what he could possibly want. She tried to remember something, just one little thing to clue her in on what was going on.
"I'm done. Shall we go now?" She looks up at him as he offers her his hand.
She gets up and walks beside him, not making contact. The two enter the forest and listen to the silence around them. Hakkai slips his hand into hers andYoko accepts unconsciously. They stay that way for a long time, watching the light slowly fade into the west.
Suddenly, Hakkai took her off the path and straight through the forest. Yoko didn't say anything, just let herself be pulled along by Hakkai.
'Might as well go along with it. I'm never going to know.' She thought to herself, trying to keep up with Hakkai as well.
They finally stopped at a wide, open area near a small lake. Hakkai sat on a rock near it and signaled Yoko over. She sat down beside him and asked, "What are we doing here? Does this have anything to do with the flowers, the poem, the food, and the laundry?"
He smiled and whispered, "Keep your eyes to the west and watch."
She protested but watched any way. As the sun slowly set on the sun, everything was bathed in a golden light and everything took on an image of dazzling, purity. It made everything seem sacred, almost as if the very gods had descended upon the place and bestowed upon it this wondrous light.
"Wow! It's so beautiful." She breathed taking in the scene.
"You really think so?" Hakkai asked her, not watching the sunset.
"Yeah it is." She said, her eyes entranced by the sight. Then she heard a sound reach her ears, soft and pretty. She turned around to hear Hakkai singing to her. She could barely make it out, but she heard the words to the song he was singing.
"Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe" he sang quietly moving closer to Yoko. She listened to him, his voice like a small breeze barely heard.
"I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life" His eyes softened, holding her face in his hand. He kept his voice steady, knowing it would break soon.
"There's just no rhyme or reason
only a sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life"Yoko was moved and shocked by this display. She had never heard Hakkai sing before. To her, it was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever heard.
"A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life"
Hakkai finished his song and looked Yoko in the greeneyes. She started clapping, not really knowing what to do or say. Hakkai sat back down beside her and neither spoke for a long time.Yoko broke the silence.
"That was really pretty. I liked it." She said to Hakkai.
"It was meant for you. I guess I haven't really gotten the message across, have I?" he sighed, looking away.
"What do you mean?" she was perplexed at this point.
"I've been thinking up ways to say it. I've gotten seven so far. I guess I'll have to go to number eight after all." He laughed lightly.
"What are you talking about? Hakkai, what is the meaning of all this? Just spit it out! I can take it okay!" she shouted, hoping he would finally just tell her what's going on.
He walked over to her and leaned in close. He whispered in her ear, "I love you."
Yoko froze in place. 'He just said that he…. That can't be true, that can't be true! He still loves her! It can't be true!'
"But what about her? You still love her. So there's no way….." she was silenced by a finger on her lips.
"I loved Kanan. I honestly thought she was the only one, and that there could be no other. But what Gojyo said was right. I can't keep going like this. You said my scar was pretty. To me, it was always a reminder of my bloody past and her. But when you were so happy that I woke up when I was sick, I knew that I had found something I had thought was long since gone. I found that I love you. And I don't want to turn away and pretend it's not there. This time I want it to last. If you don't feel the same way, I understand. But do know that I love you." he said, voice quivering slightly.
Yoko was speechless. She was filled with joy at his confession. She ran up to him and hugged him. She was crying slightly.
"I love you too, Hakkai! I do! I want to stay by your side no matter what because I never want to see you sad or hurt! That was the scariest time of my life, just waiting for you to wake up. I hated waiting! It was like something out of a horrible dream! I never want to wait like that again! I want to know that I won't lose you!" Yoko cried against him. Hakkai held her and the two shared a comfortable silence.
They pulled away finally, watching each other for a response. Neither moved as the sky darkened, revealing a few stars.
Hakkai sighed and said, "Well we need to get back. Let's go."
Yoko tugged on his arm and gave him a pleading look.
"Is it alright if we stay here a little longer? Please, Hakkai?" she asked, her eyes silently pleading with him.
Hakkai smiled. "Well. I don't see why not."
Yoko smiled in agreement, the two sitting back down on the rock. They interlaced hands as they watched the night sky.Yoko leaned in and kissed Hakkai, putting her feelings in to it. Hakkai kissed her back, softly with equal fervor. They broke apart and just sat close, listening to the evening sounds.
"I love you Hakkai."Yoko whispered to the man beside her.
"I love you Yoko." Hakkai breathed to the woman in his arms.
They both conveyed one thing: They found something they would fight for. They found something they both wanted to treasure. Love; you never know when it will hit you.
Owari
(Wasn't that nice? You can leave me alone now! Hakkai: Only making sure you write a story without prejudice.
Serephim: Oh yeah! By tying me up and throwing me into a closet. That's real….eep! Thank you very much for reading it! Hope you enjoyed it!)