For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1
Additional warning: while this chapter is not particularly graphic, it is definitely disturbing.

Chapter 7: Of Words Best Left Unspoken
(Daniel's POV)

"After I got caught trying to escape I was brought back to Turghan's tent... Nya's mother was there and he was going to punish her for letting me get away... for failing to keep me there but I stopped him. She was about to be held responsible for my actions and she was just sitting there, willing to take her punishment as if it were deserved. I just couldn't let that happen so I challenged him to beat me instead and that made him mad... that's when he said that he valued spirit in his horses not his women. Anyway, after I challenged him he kissed me, hard, warned me that if I did not obey I would suffer far worse than a beating and then dragged me to his private tent. I knew I was in big trouble then, especially because he had been willing to discipline Nya's mother in front of his men. He tied me to the tent's center pole, ripped my dress and then he...

"When I first felt that flogger on my back I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing me scream... it hurt, it hurt bad but I thought that was something I could actually control and I was determined to keep quiet. The fact that I was trying not to make a sound only made him angrier and he started putting more and more force behind each blow. He was determined to break me and he was going to do whatever it took to do it. In the end it didn't take me too long to figure out that he was bound to win that round, that sooner or later I would have to give in because he could keep it up for hours, he wasn't the one who was in pain. After a while I couldn't help myself any longer and by the time he finished I was begging him to stop. By then my back and shoulders were killing me... I had never felt anything like that before but he wasn't done with me, not by a long shot. For Turghan the whole thing had been about teaching me a lesson, about making sure I understood that he could do whatever he wanted to me, that there was absolutely nothing I could do and the lesson wasn't quite complete yet. He wanted to teach me that I belonged to him and that my only hope was to submit... he wanted me to know there was no way I could win. That was something the rest of his women already knew, something they never would have questioned in the first place, and he was determined to make sure I got the message."

"What do you mean, Sam?"

"After I was sent back to the women's area Nya said something to me, she said that Turghan would never hit a woman unless she deserved it... that was something that had been beaten into her from the day she was born but there was no way I could accept it. I tried to tell her that there were no excuses, that her father didn't have the right to hit a woman under any circumstances but thinking back I don't think she could even imagine what I meant. Still, one of the things that Turghan made absolutely clear to me while I was in there was that the only real requirement for him to punish me was his desire to do so. I don't know if that makes sense, I don't know how to explain it... I'm not even sure if I understand it myself and, believe me, I've been trying for months. The thing is that at first when he was beating me he kept telling me that he wanted me to scream for him but when I did he turned to punishing me for failing to keep silent instead. He kept saying that a woman's lot was to endure her pain in silence and I was going to learn to behave like a woman... he said that that was the reason why the gods had brought me to him in the first place.

"I don't know how long that went on but when he finally stopped there was a moment when I thought it was all over, I thought he was done with me but he wasn't. He began probing between my legs and I knew what was going to happen next. I tried to prepare myself, I tried to figure out if there was a way for me to fight him but deep down I knew there was nothing I could do. He was stronger than I was, I was already in pain as a result of the beating... and I knew that even if by some miracle I could manage to make it out of that tent his men would drag me back again and things would be that much worse... but I couldn't bring myself to submit either."

"Why not?" I ask, even though I'm pretty sure I know what she means.

"Because submitting would have been the same as acknowledging that he owned me and I wasn't willing to do that. Anyway, he was still standing behind me and then he whispered something in my ear, pulled his fingers out and cut the ropes.

"I tried to get away then, it was an instinctive reaction, but my body wasn't really responding. The pain when my arms were released and fell to my sides was excruciating and I could barely move. Before I knew it I was on my back, he was pulling my legs apart and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it."

"That's when it happened?" I ask, not so much because I have any doubts about it but rather because I think Sam needs to hear a friendly voice, something that can remind her that she isn't there, that what she is remembering is just a memory.

"Yes. I tried to fight him off but I couldn't... I was feeling so damned weak... I tried to tell him that he had no right to do that but he told me that no woman would ever refuse him... that I belonged to him and it was time for me to learn my place. He said that it was time for me to learn that he owned me and that he could do whatever he wanted with me then he..."

"Just tell me what you are comfortable with, Sam," I say, just to say something... especially because it's damned obvious that she is not comfortable talking about any of this.

"It was bad. I mean I was in pain... everything hurt, being on my back after having just been beaten and the fact that he chose to do it on the ground because he said a woman like me would never soil his bed wasn't exactly helping matters and there wasn't a damned thing I could do about any of it. I was helpless... totally at his mercy. All I could do was lie there and try to endure... that or wish that he would kill me, at times I wasn't sure which one was the better option. I mean, I knew you guys would be coming for me and that kept me going but if you hadn't been there, if I hadn't had that hope to hold on to... if what he was doing to me had been the only thing I had to look forward to as my future I don't know what I would have done. I would probably have pushed him to finish me off..."

"I'm sorry, I really thought we had gotten to you in time. We never even thought that we hadn't. Moughal wanted to go into Turghan's camp to trade in the morning but Jack asked what would happen at night and he said that Turghan would 'partake in his newest purchase' and we knew we couldn't wait but seeing how we got you before nightfall we assumed you were fine. I can't believe we didn't see..." I trail off, not knowing what else to say or how to fix this. We never even thought about the fact that Moughal could have been wrong about Turghan waiting... we never wanted to even consider it.

"I didn't want you to see," says Sam, pulling me out of my musings. "At first, when I saw you I was so relieved... I was so happy to be back with you that it was almost as if nothing else mattered, for a moment I was so overjoyed that I almost forgot what had happened. I was so relieved that I could barely feel the pain but at the same time I also knew I couldn't let my guard down just yet. Yes, Moughal was nowhere near as bad as Turghan but he followed the same laws, the same code, and I didn't want to take any chances. I couldn't run the risk that I'd make him mad and end up getting in trouble again... in that world a woman's duty was to endure her pain in silence, that was one lesson I had learned well and I wasn't willing to take any chances. I knew that up until we came home I wouldn't really be safe... I knew I just had to keep going. I knew I couldn't stop no matter what."

"If it hadn't been for Moughal's words maybe we would have insisted that we hurry, that we try and get there sooner."

"It wasn't your fault. I think... I think that maybe if I hadn't angered him by trying to escape he wouldn't have hurt me."

"WHAT? Sam, don't you ever let me hear you blaming yourself like that again. None of what happened was your fault. You know you did nothing wrong, you know you didn't deserve what Turghan did to you, don't you?"

"I know... all I'm saying is that what Moughal told you was probably right, he had no way of knowing that I was going to push Turghan like I did, if I hadn't..."

"Sam..."

"What?"

"Never mind," I say realizing that she's not even aware of the fact that she is still taking on Turghan's blame and knowing that now is not the time to tackle that one. "The thing is that I only wish we could have been there sooner, that we could have reached you before you had to endure..."

"Oh, believe me... you were in time... if you hadn't come when you did he would have..."

"How can you say that we were in time? That bastard raped you!" I all but scream at her, not quite believing my ears.

"Yes, he did but that wasn't the only thing he was going to do, believe me... the time I spent there... well, let's just say it was a lesson in perspective. Do you know why I wasn't more seriously injured than I was when he beat me?" she asks, catching me totally off-guard.

"What do you mean if I know why your injuries weren't worse? They were bad enough!" I say, still struggling to understand what she is trying to tell me.

"Maybe, but that's not the point, the point is that I don't know how many times that damned thing came down on my back and he wasn't exactly holding back... and yet the damage went no further than extensive bruising and a couple of scratches. Sure, it was extremely painful but it certainly wasn't serious, why was that?"

"I don't know, I don't get what you are getting at," I say, more than a little frustrated.

"I'm getting at the fact that the only reason why he didn't do more damage was because he didn't want to. I belonged to him and it wasn't in his best interest to permanently damage his property. That's why that flogger was designed in such a way as not to break the skin, that was the reason why it was designed not to leave any scars or permanent marks. The only reason why I wasn't more seriously injured had nothing to do with him being reluctant to hurt me, it had to do with him wanting to preserve my market value. Do you have any idea of what it feels like to be reduced to being nothing more than someone else's property, to know that the only reason why your skin is not being ripped to shreds is because your owner wants to protect his investment? Do you have any idea of what the women in that world went through on a daily basis? Do you have any idea of what he was about to do to me? Believe me, being raped was nothing. You were in time... you were in time..."

"What is it that you aren't telling me, Sam? What do you mean we were in time? In time for what? What else did he do to you?" I ask, not liking her desperation or her insistence on the fact that we were in time when we clearly weren't, not liking the way in which her words trailed off and feeling once again that there's something I'm still missing here, something important.

"It's not so much what he did to me but what he was about to do," she whispers. "As I said, you were in time. If you hadn't gotten to me when you did he would have..."

"What do you mean? What was he going to do?" I push, even though right now I'm not entirely sure I want to know.

"I told you that when he first pushed his fingers into me he said something... something I didn't really understand, at least not at the time. At first I didn't know what he meant, not really but then Nya..."

"What did he say, Sam?" I ask, more than a little worried. She is no longer fighting me, it's like she has finally decided to let it all out and even though that is what I was trying to get her to do the truth is that I'm feeling more than a little lost here. I know this is not about me but I can't help it. I don't like what I'm seeing here. The way in which she is acting is very different from the confident captain I'm used to dealing with and that is yet another unwelcome reminder of just how far from fine things really are.

"He said that I was filthy... a whore. He said that he was going to make me clean... he said that he was going to make a proper woman out of me, a woman worthy of becoming his wife and bearing his children... he said that he was going to cut the 'male spirit' out of me. At first I thought he was pissed because I wasn't a virgin... the first part, the one about me being filthy and a whore seemed to make sense, sort of, but nothing else did, you know? When he first said that I was almost happy that there was something I could deny him but..."

"But what?"

"But that wasn't what he meant, not at all. When he was done, before he sent me back to the area that was reserved for his women he summoned an old woman... the clan's midwife. He told her that I was unclean and he ordered her to take care of it right away... she said that it was too late, that there wasn't enough daylight left for the rituals to be carried out, that I'd have to be prepared. She promised that it would be done first thing in the morning, then she helped me get dressed. I was kind of out of it and I didn't really understand much about what was going on, I didn't know what the old woman was supposed to take care of but somehow I knew it wasn't good so when I had a chance I asked Nya and she told me what her father had meant... in excruciating detail. She talked about it like it was something natural... something to be expected and even celebrated. There was a little girl at the camp, her sister or half-sister. She was about ten years old, I think... I saw her... I saw what they had done to her... I knew that was what they were going to do to me and that's when I got really scared. While I was in Turghan's tent I knew you guys would be coming for me eventually, that was the certainty I had to cling to. I knew I just had to hold on a little longer and then I'd be fine but once I saw that girl I wasn't sure if you would get to me before she... before they..."

"Before they what, Sam?" I ask, still not liking how upset she is but unsure as to what I could possibly do about it.

I see her look down, shaking her head as if she were unable to say the words and I can't help the feeling of dread that's creeping into me. There's something about the words Turghan said to her, something that is eerily familiar. I'm beginning to suspect where this is going but she can't possibly mean that he was going to have her... no, there's no way she's talking about that. I'm just thinking too much like an egyptologist here, that is all... after all their civilization was patterned basically after that of the Mongols, not the Egyptians so that can't be it. What he told her, that's just a coincidence, it has to be.

I shake my head, trying to get rid of the images that have crept into my mind but it's not working. I need to know, I need to hear her tell me that I'm wrong but there's no way I can possibly ask her that. I can't even bring myself to think the words, much less say them out loud and I certainly can't expect her to say them either... especially because that can't be what she means. Not knowing what else to do I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to offer some sort of support but not daring to take the physical contact any further than that... not right now. That simple gesture, however, is enough to encourage her to go on, even as I feel her trembling.

She looks up at me, hesitates for a moment and then she whispers, "let's just say that the names of the old gods are not the only thing associated with Egypt and the pharaohs that was left behind by the Goa'uld when they scattered humans throughout the universe."

The words are spoken so softly that I can barely make them out but they are more than enough for me to confirm what I had feared. I can't stay away from her any longer so I pull her into a hug, offering comfort the only way I can.

Author's notes: Hi guys, first of all I want to thank you for taking the time to review. Those reviews really make my day (and not in a Dirty Harry kind of way). Now I have a couple of little questions I'd like to ask you here:

The first one has to do with whether that was too cryptic or if it actually made sense (or maybe it was way too obvious). The second one has to do with what do you think was Turghan's threat. Also, I know some of you may find the idea of Sam saying that being raped was nothing to be hard to swallow, please give me one more week to explain that one before you flame me (especially if you are not sure as to what the nature of the threat was in the first place).

And here you thought last week's cliffhanger was bad (on a positive note, the cliffhanger will be resolved next week).

Additional note: While I'm not convinced that it is warranted, I've just changed the rating of this story from "T" to "M". Also, in case of emergency, should this story mysteriously disappear it is also available via one of my sites (URL can be found in my profile).