The following story and all of its future chapters are dedicated to Aunt Alice, Aunt Peg, Grandma Bettina, Uncle Pete, Uncle John, Mom and Dad, Grandma Mary, and the memories of Nonnie, Pop Pop, and Grandpa Jack.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Fairly Odd Parents or any of this story's characters. I have, however, named some of them. If they have names mentioned in episodes of the show, please inform me of this so I can help them get over a possible split personality crisis.

Author's Note: I've recently seen, and TiVoed, the newest Big Daddy episode of FOP. While I was extremely disappointed with the over-all plot, I love Wanda's family! The whole "mob" thing is just perfect. As you can see from my dedication, I have a very Italian family. I've always had fantasies of finding out we're actually members of the Mafia. How cool would that be? Very!

Yesterday morning I re-read Love at First Sight, and when I got to Chapter Five, I got an idea. What happened when Big Daddy found out about Cosmo? It reminded me of what happened to us when we met Cousin Renee's boyfriend (now ex, thank GOD!). The majority of our family hated her seeing this guy, and if they had ended up engaged we would have, simply put, blown up. After dealing with that, and being "introduced" to Wanda's uncles and assumed cousins, I was able to come up with this: A story of Big Daddy's struggle to accept Cosmo for a man who loves Wanda more than anything.

One more thing - There are several Italian words in the story. The only reason I know them is because of an online translating system, so there are MANY doubts to whether they are correct or not (when you translate them back, you get the same thing). If anyone knows the real words, please tell me.

Chapter One: He's Such a Moron, Daddy!

"She's what!" I think Fairy World stopped moving for a second.

"It's true, Daddy!" Blonda, my much more obedient daughter, cried out to me. "She showed him to me yesterday. He's such a moron, Daddy! You have to do something!"

"Do something?" I roared. "Oh, I'm gonna do something about it! There's no way my wonderful baby girl is going to get married to some weirdo I've never even met!"

"Ahem!" Blonda taped her foot.

I coughed. "Sorry, precious."

Blonda scoffed. "I have auditions to get to. Goodbye, Daddy." And with that, she poofed out of my office.

Oh, my Blonda. She got the ol' temper, that's for sure. I couldn't blame her, though. How could Wanda do such a thing! And I've never even seen the guy! She's far too young for this kind of thing. And something will be done. You can be darn sure of that.

"Okay, calm down, Big Daddy. You shouldn't take Blonda's word for it. He might not be that bad. Am I talking to myself? Buon Dio…"

He had better be good, though. Whoever my daughters married would most likely end up running the business after my brothers and me got too old for the job. You might be thinking that it's unfair for me to be counting on the future husbands so much when I've got everyone else, but I would never trust those badinskis with my company. Vinny especially; the anti-masculinity just ain't gonna work to our advantage. He's lucky I haven't let him go yet.

Wait…what was I talking about?

Oh, right. Wanda and this newly discovered engagement.

I just can't believe it. My little girl is all grown up. And she's going to replace me with some scatto senza un cervello. There ain't gonna be another man in her life that I didn't pick for her. I'd never allow that.

Wait a minute…she just got outta high school! She can't be ready to drop me yet! Her mother and I didn't get married until…okay, never mind. But that ended in divorce! I don't want my Wanda making the same mistakes I did. God, she was always so brilliant. How could she do something so stupid?

Maybe it's my fault. I was so busy with the business that I never paid much attention to either of my daughter's lives. The could have been snorting fairy dust for all I know!

No, it can't be my fault. Blonda turned out fine. She's extremely temperamental, but she's still sane.

Maybe it's Tony's fault. He was never to brilliant. I wonder if Wanda spent a lot of time around him during her childhood.

Whatever caused Wanda's stupid decision, I was going to fix it. That's what I do, I fix things. I sure fixed that Romano guy the other day. Oh, that was great. I felt as important as Sinatra that day. And Sinatra…oh, wait a minute, I'm getting sidetracked again.

Before I had a chance to think any further, Wanda burst into my office. "Daddy!" she cried. "I have great news!"

I played dumb. You know, to humor the girl. "What happened, Sweetheart?"

"I'm getting married!"

"You are? That's—that's great, Wanda."

My daughter enthusiastically hugged me. I returned it, asking, "So, when do I get to meet the lucky man?"

"Right now," Wanda said, still happily. "Cosmo, you can come in now."

The door opened, and in walked…

Oh my God!

This…this…this yahoo is the girl my daughter wants to marry? I can tell by his looks that he ain't good enough for my baby girl. That hair, those eyes, those everything. It's worse than I ever could have dreamed.

This…well, this just wasn't a pretty picture.

Except for the look on the poor thing's face. I had clearly intimidated him. "Oh, he'd better get used to it!"

"Hi Mr. Big Daddy…sir…" that little testa dell'aria mumbled.

I looked back and forth between my sweet, innocent, daughter and that thing.

"Daddy?" Wanda said to me timidly. "Are you okay?"

Cosmo hid behind my coat rack. Not a good spot to hide when I have my wand with me.

"This…" I put my head in my hands. "This cannot be. Wanda…you actually want to marry this little cretin?"

"He's not a cretin, Daddy!" Wanda was obviously horrified.

"Shush your mouth," I said to my daughter. "I ain't done yet. Pumpkin, you could have had any man in town with me in charge, here. And yet you go on and become the fiancé of the sciocco della città. This displeases me. Where did you even find this guy?"

Cosmo continued to shiver behind the coat rack. I guess that proves he wasn't a total numbskull.

"Stop it!" Wanda banged her fist on my desk. Where did she find the nerve? "You don't even know him!"

"All I want is for you to reconsider, Darlin'. Do you really want to spend you're life with a total idiot?"

"You're not listening," Wanda said firmly with tears in her eyes. "I love him, Daddy, and—"

"That's enough right there, Missy!"

"But, Daddy—"

"Get out my office! The both of you!"

Cosmo immediately left the room, poofing Wanda off with him.

Woah. What in the name of lasagna did I just do?

I made her cry, didn't I? Awe, Jeez. I was gonna be feeling guilty for a while. I hate seeing my little girls cry. It tears me apart.

But could you really blame me? My little girl is dumping me for some meatballs-for-brains dud she found God knows where. I don't want my little angel to leave me.

But I've gotta be strong. I am Big Daddy after all. I'll just use the business as my excuse. That wouldn't even be lying.

"Hey, Big Daddy," Piero said to me as he and Carmine found their ways into my office. "Did Wanda show you that moron she found?"

"You mean that Cosmo guy?" I asked with as much bitterness as I could muster. "Yeah, I've seen him. Can you believe it?"

"Not for a minute" my brother said, sinking into a wooden chair across from my desk.

"Boy oh boy," Carmine said. "That boy's got a lot of nerve. He doesn't even has enough respect to ask permission."

"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?"

Carmine and I looked at Piero. "Oh, I love your ideas, my brother," I said. "Lay it on me."

"I says," he started, "we try to change the boys mind. Let's face it, we ain't never gonna get that little girl to reconsider. She's got a lot of budella, just like 'er old man."

"You got that right, Piero" Carmine agreed. "But how we gonna do it?"

"We do what we do best, boys," I said. "Terrify him."

"Yeah!" Carmine liked the idea. "We'll show him who's boss in this family."

"That," I said, "would be me." And I wasn't afraid to prove it to Cosmo.

In fact, I greatly anticipate it.