Piper debated a lot of philosophy to herself sometimes. She wondered if it was a good way to live her life when she was faking things. She hid her real feelings to protect the feelings of others. She ignored how she was feeling to make others believe she was ok – but was it right?

Did it matter anyway? What is life really? What was her life? Did it even really belong to her? She was raising the most powerful being in the world – possibly to be evil. She was committed to fighting evil on a daily basis and had to work her ass off to make sure that her children were safe. What life did she really have?

She spent a lot of time in her room when her family thought she was sleeping – or taking a nap. She didn't sleep anymore – she couldn't remember the last time she slept but she knew she must have for at least a little while. It just seems like she spent every night for weeks lying in bed with her thoughts – and fears.

She left the area with the laundry she had folded and took it up the stairs to put it away.

"Piper! Help!" she heard coming from downstairs.

She sighed to herself and started down the stairs. She saw a creature in the living room throwing something at her sisters. She blew him up with one flick of the wrist. "Was that really that hard? I have laundry to do."

She walked back up the stairs. Another demon. Since she'd had her second son there was at least one attack every day. She wasn't sure she could keep her sons safe anymore – but then, she wasn't sure she could keep anyone safe.

She returned to putting the laundry in the drawer. She decided to make her bed. Doing housework made her feel like she had a purpose, if nothing else, she could take pride in the fact that her house was a clean place.

God that was so pathetic.

She stopped making the bed, instead opting to sit on it. She thought about what she had always dreamed of being when she was a kid and wondered why she had strayed from that path. She thought maybe her dreams had changed as she was growing older. Now she was wondering if she was just fooling herself and she lost her chance at the life she should have had.

She was stuck. People thought they needed her. They hadn't figured out they could do everything she could do for themselves, and sometimes better. They didn't really need her – and she truly believed they knew that deep down inside – they just didn't want to admit it because they knew she was right.

She had stopped seeing the psychiatrist. Her family thought she was feeling fine so they didn't argue with her. She had decided it was a waste of time – she told her family she didn't need to go – they accepted her decision.

God she wanted to be normal again.

She couldn't be. She knew it. She could never go back to the way things were – she was done, her life was over, her choices weren't her own anymore.

She finished making the bed. At least she wouldn't get into it if it was made – she needed to stay up and moving. She didn't want to think about things too much. Whenever she did, things started to go to hell again.

Keeping busy was here way of coping. She knew she was just avoiding everything and would have to come back and deal with it later but she needed to do something. Piper knew she still wasn't feeling right but she was so sick of everyone watching over her, tiptoeing around her – she would fake her way through anything if it would get them to leave her alone.

She left the bedroom and walked toward the nursery. It was quiet, probably both kids were sleeping. She wished she could get rid of them sometimes. If she didn't have kids, she would just pack up her car and disappear. No one would have to know where she was... but she couldn't do that to her kids. Even if she didn't...

She chastised herself for thinking about this stuff. She had to go find something to do – she was thinking too much again. She'd make dinner. Or cookies... something.

She passed by a mirror in the hallway and paused. She used to think she was pretty. She used to think she had a sparkle in her eyes that made her beautiful. She didn't feel that sparkle anymore – she barely remembered the last time she did.

She wasn't proud of herself for how she was living her life anymore – she just needed to do it. She knew other people lived like this, but she never thought her life would come to this.

She continued her way to the kitchen. Her sisters were in the kitchen. She hated small talk anymore. It all seemed so stupid and she had to act like she was interested. But it was better than listening to her sisters obsess over her and her fluctuating emotions.

"Hi Piper." Paige started. "We were just talking about Pheobe's column."

"Oh yeah? What's going on?"

Piper nodded and made comments as they were talking to her. It was something stupid again – god she just wanted to make cookies or something...

She pulled the ingredients from the cupboard. Her sisters had left the kitchen. Silence was good. She couldn't do anything right. People weren't counting on her for anything. But then – she didn't want anyone to count on her for anything. Why should they?

She couldn't do it anymore. She wouldn't do it anymore. She had a plan.