pout I got no reveiws. You're starving me people! Just push the little purple buttin at the bottom of the screen. This may be the last chapter. I havent decided yet.
Harper
They've all gone again now, except Beka. She's still sitting there, not pleading or raging. Just sitting and watching. She can't see me, none of them could as I sat slumped in the pilot's chair staring out and imagining the stars drifting by against velvet black. I haven't been drinking, that will come later, I've just been thinking. They say that they want me to come out, come and help them but how can they bear to be around me when I have these things in me. I don't want to loose them or hurt them but it's better if I push them away now so that when the end comes they wont care so much. Or is it.
Why do they keep coming back, cant they see that they shouldn't be around me anymore, why cant they just let me keep them at a distance so that it wont hurt me when they don't want to see me anymore!
At this thought I still and the soft quiet sounds of crying come from outside. It's been three days but as far as I can tell work seems to have stopped. Am I just being selfish, locking myself up in here, they cant get supplies, or mend the ship or… No I'm allowed to be selfish sometimes none of them understand, they can't understand, they shouldn't have to understand.
But still the gentle stifled sobs reach me through the airlock and gently I stand then crouch below the screen and walk until I'm just outside the airlock, not making a sound. I remember when I used to have nightmares and Beka would help, she'd calm me, then wouldn't mention them again, knowing that those demons shouldn't be reawakened. Maybe she might understand a little. I sat there listening for divine knows how long, the small vial of medicine around my neck a constant reminder holding me back like a chain.
I shift slightly and Beka, whose sobs had quietened sometime during my reverie and was sitting still on the other side, said slowly
"S-shorty, that you?"
Shorty, not Harper or Seamus, Shorty. She wasn't distancing herself from me and why should I do that to her? They'd all been telling me about how they wanted to help and perhaps, perhaps I should let them. It wasn't something I was used to and it wouldn't happen easily but maybe… Ah what the hell.
I typed in the code and stepped out the door straight into Beka who stared wide-eyed at me before pulling me into a huge bear hug.
Then suddenly as she realised what she was doing she stepped away from me and we both simply stared before she dragged me away from the Maru to find Trance and the others.