For notes, warnings and disclaimers, see chapter 1
Chapter 17: Fly Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee
(Janet's POV)
"So, doctor, what was it that you wanted to tell me?" asks General Hammond as soon as I set foot in his office.
"Well, sir, there's no easy way to say this but apparently Captain Carter was raped in Simarka seven months ago," I blurt out, knowing that there's no point in trying to put it off, knowing that no matter how I phrase it the news is not going to get any less unpleasant.
"How certain are you of this 'apparently'?"
"Unfortunately about one hundred percent, sir. Basically, she told me," I admit.
"And why am I just hearing about this now?"
"Because the captain kept the information to herself, sir. I only found out about it this morning."
"What do we know?"
"Well, from what she's told me the events unfolded pretty much as she stated in her original report, however she did leave out the fact that once Turghan was done beating her, he raped her and then issued some additional threats," I say before going on. "The events that led up to that point and the events that followed afterwards apparently took place just as she had originally described them."
"What kind of threats are we talking about here?"
"He basically threatened to have her circumcised but luckily her team got to her before that particular threat could be carried out," I explain.
"Circumcised? How the hell do you circumcise a woman?" he asks. Okay, the good news is that, just as I had hoped, he doesn't know what I'm talking about, the bad news is that now I have to keep him from asking too many questions and I'm not sure how to do that.
"Believe me, sir, you don't want to know," I say, trying to divert his attention from that particular issue. "The thing is that Captain Carter was upset enough when I talked to her and I didn't think the time was right for me to be pushing her for any additional details. I just asked her the basic questions necessary to get a general idea of what had happened and how she is coping."
"How could something like this have gone unnoticed for this long?" he asks and I can see that he is not happy about that... not that I blame him.
"Well, sir, from what I've read about the incident it wasn't just one thing, there were a number of contributing factors. First of all there's the fact that she didn't tell anyone about any of her injuries at the time. In fact, if I remember correctly, the other members of SG-1 were more than a little shocked when they learned she had been badly beaten after their return... especially considering how, in spite of her injuries, she had somehow managed to defeat Turghan in hand to hand combat. In addition to that I'm afraid that the fact that Dr. Warner had been left temporarily in charge of the infirmary in the aftermath of Dr. Nimzicki's death also contributed to the problem."
"How so?"
"Please remember that Dr. Warner is a surgeon and that means that diagnosing a problem is not usually up to him, sir," I explain. "For the most part surgeons treat patients after the initial diagnosis has been made and as a result Dr. Warner simply found himself trying to cope as best he could with a difficult situation he wasn't really trained to handle. That means that he almost certainly overlooked some clues, some telltale signs that would have been deemed significant by a doctor with more experience when it comes to diagnosing a problem in the first place."
"What kind of clues, doctor?" he pushes.
"I'm thinking mostly in terms of bruising patterns that were almost certainly there but weren't even mentioned in Dr. Warner's report, sir, but that is only half the problem. The thing is that even though chances are that there were some clues that were overlooked because of Dr. Warner's training that is only part of the story. I believe that the other major contributing factor to the way in which this whole situation unfolded had to do with the fact that upon her arrival at the SGC Captain Carter panicked at the thought of having him examine her. She was uncomfortable, traumatized and running on instinct, he didn't have the training to recognize what he was dealing with and then those two aspects were combined to create a major problem. The thing is that once those two elements were combined the situation just snowballed from there because Captain Carter was worried about what would happen if she were to come clean after she had concealed what had happened in the first place."
"Well, she should damned well be worried, this is pretty serious stuff! It should have been reported immediately, not concealed for seven months!" he growls and I know I'm going to have to tread carefully if I don't want to get Sam in trouble here.
"With all due respect, sir, I don't think it's fair to blame Captain Carter. It wasn't her fault, at least not entirely. Yes, ideally she should have said something as soon as she came back but the fact is that the conditions here at the SGC were not exactly appropriate for her to come forward and the timing of the whole incident couldn't possibly have been worse. This all went down at a time when the infirmary was basically in disarray following Dr. Nimzicki's death. It is true that the fact that Dr. Warner is a surgeon contributed to this whole situation going unnoticed but it is more complicated than that. You also have to keep in mind that, according to the logs, there was a single female nurse on duty when SG-1 came back from Simarka and there were no female doctors. For Captain Carter to be reluctant to allow a man to examine her under the circumstances was not an entirely unexpected reaction and the almost total absence of female personnel was not Dr. Warner's fault, it was just a really unlucky coincidence. As for the fact that she didn't feel comfortable saying anything about what had happened, well, that was a problem that would have been encountered by any male doctor, regardless of his training," I say before going on.
"Now, getting into 'what if' territory, it is true that if the doctor in charge at the time hadn't been a surgeon then maybe he would have recognized the signs that something was seriously wrong and he would have tried to create a more appropriate environment for her to come forward, especially once it became apparent that she had been concealing some fairly extensive injuries in the first place. I'm not denying that, nor am I denying that maybe Dr. Warner should have realized that sexual assault was a very real possibility when he found himself dealing with a woman who had actually been sold to a warlord. Maybe another doctor would have considered that possibility and he would have tried to create the necessary conditions to enable Captain Carter to come forward but that is pure speculation. The thing is that Dr. Warner was the one in charge and he didn't even think about it. He didn't think about it simply because his training hadn't prepared him to recognize what was right in front of him. The point is that he didn't do anything wrong, not really. That this situation went undetected for so long was merely the result of an unfortunate series of circumstances, not the product of either negligence or a mistake."
"What are you saying here, doctor?" asks the general.
"I'm saying that I honestly believe that Dr. Warner did the best he could with the information he had available at the time, sir. Besides this is not about finding someone to blame. The truth is that this all went down at a time when the SGC was still in the process of getting organized and we were merely caught off guard by a situation we had failed to anticipate. I am well aware that the fight against the Goa'uld was dropped on our laps and in those early days the conditions at the infirmary were not the best for Captain Carter to come forward, it is as simple as that. Back then there was only a skeleton medical crew and they were doing their best to get organized while they were basically under attack... not to mention that there was no one really in charge. The thing is that what we need right now is not so much to figure out who's responsible for what happened seven months ago but rather to find a way to sort this out and to help Captain Carter deal with the aftermath of this incident."
"Yes, well, the fact that it is understandable doesn't change the fact that her sudden decision to come forward presents a bit of a problem," growls General Hammond, still sounding far from happy and I barely manage to keep myself from sighing.
"Um, well, I wouldn't say that she decided to come forward, not really, sir," I reluctantly admit.
"What do you mean, doctor?"
"What I mean is that it was Dr. Jackson who figured out that there was something bothering her in the first place and pushed her to talk about it and then he insisted that she tell me and, well, now here I am, sir," I explain. "I know it is not a pleasant situation but I don't think we can sweep it under the rug either, especially considering that it is a situation that could become a problem somewhere down the road."
"So what are we supposed to do?" he asks.
"Well, sir, that's where things get complicated..."
"'Get complicated'?" he interrupts. "How much more complicated can they get and how do you intend to handle this?"
"The truth is that from a medical perspective there's nothing left for me to do, not really, sir... not seven months after the facts. As for other measures, I'm afraid it's not so simple. You see, while there is a very well defined follow-up procedure for this kind of cases in the medical field, given the nature of the incident and of the work we do here at the SGC that 'follow-up procedure' is basically out the window."
"How so, doctor?"
"Well, sir, ideally Captain Carter should be encouraged to talk to a rape counselor and seek some sort of ongoing therapy to help her deal with the aftermath of what's happened. Unfortunately due to the classified nature of the work we do here, her choice of counselor is rather limited and that is a problem. Basically for her to get some sort of counseling she would have to be referred to Dr. MacKenzie and, with all due respect, sir, that would be akin to referring someone with a brain tumor to an orthopedist. Dr. MacKenzie is a psychiatrist with a specialty in psychopathology and I'm afraid that he could easily end up doing more harm than good under the circumstances. What Captain Carter needs is someone she can trust, someone who can help her work through a deep emotional trauma and Dr. MacKenzie isn't it. To make matters worse, another key component of a traditional approach when it comes to dealing with rape cases is some sort of group therapy, which would ideally supplement the victim's own support system. The thing is that once again that is not an option in this case because there are too many aspects to this incident that are classified, starting with the fact that the rape itself actually happened on a different planet."
"Could we bring in a specialist to help us deal with this particular situation?"
"Other than a proctologist, you mean?" I can't help but ask, shaking my head.
"Why on earth would we need a proctologist to deal with this?" asks the general.
"Well, sir, Captain Carter did warn me that we would need one to remove a staff weapon from the anatomy of anyone who dares to call her either a victim or a survivor... and I'm not entirely sure she wasn't serious," I explain.
"I meant a counselor, doctor, I think you know that," he growls.
"I know, sir, the problem is that there's no way to bring a rape counselor on board without the rape itself becoming public knowledge and that would create an awkward environment that once again could easily backfire," I explain. "In fact I think the captain's comment with regard to that staff weapon is a significant sign of how she feels and it does indicate that she is worried about how others are going to react to this information. Unfortunately I suspect her concerns are well founded and I definitely think that this is something that should be handled as discreetly as possible. Believe me,sir, I've been giving this situation a lot of thought and the fact is that we have very few choices available to us and the ones we have are not particularly good."
"So what do you suggest we do now?"
"Well, sir, the first thing we have to do is to remember that this whole thing happened seven months ago and that right now Captain Carter seems to be doing reasonably well. There are some problems but those are to be expected and, surprisingly, so far her performance hasn't really suffered as a result of any of this. She insists that she is coping, she is not particularly keen on the idea of being forced to seek counseling and the truth is that it would be very difficult for anyone to work with her if she refuses to cooperate. In other words, ordering her to talk to MacKenzie is not an option, at least not a viable one, however I think we may be able to turn her refusal to our advantage somehow."
"Turn it to our advantage?" asks the general.
"Yes, sir. I was thinking that maybe we could allow her not to see MacKenzie as long as she cooperates with me fully," I explain. "I know it's not my field, I know I'm out of my depth here but unfortunately we don't really have that many options available to us and that may well be the best we can do with what we've got. If that doesn't work I think plan B would be to see about the possibility of bringing in a grief and trauma counselor with some experience in dealing with sexual assault cases. It wouldn't be the same as having her see a specialist but at least it could probably be explained away without too much trouble and without this situation becoming public knowledge. In fact I think in the long run a trauma counselor would probably be a valuable and necessary addition to the SGC regardless of what happens with Captain Carter because we are bound to need it sooner rather than later and the truth is that we can't keep relying on Dr. MacKenzie to perform that particular duty. Let's face it, his job is supposed to be to look for psychological side effects to gate travel, not to be the base's counselor. Anyway, getting back to the more immediate problem of how to handle the situation with Captain Carter, I know that getting someone else assigned to the base is not something that can be done overnight so that is not an option, at least not in the short term. Right now we have no choice but to make do with the resources available to us and unfortunately those leave much to be desired. The point is that I really don't want to send her to MacKenzie unless the situation is truly desperate. Besides, if Captain Carter had a problem with Dr. Warner because of his gender then I suspect that Dr. MacKenzie would probably be faced with a similar obstacle."
"You said she's doing reasonably well but that there are some problems, could you elaborate on that? How serious are we talking about here?" asks the general, basically disregarding most of my speech about a possible plan B and somehow I get the feeling that that's not a good sign... not when there are some things I'd rather have him not notice.
"Well, sir, she is having trouble sleeping --which is to be expected-- and there are some signs that seem to indicate that that situation may be getting out of control. In fact she seems to be going through what could be described as the early stages of an anxiety disorder and that is where we could be about to run into trouble," I explain.
"What kind of trouble, doctor?" he pushes.
"Namely the fact that she is trying to avoid sleep for fear of dreaming, sir," I say. "Even though that is not uncommon in this kind of cases it is something that can be the first sign of a situation that could potentially escalate and become a major issue somewhere down the line. It is not crippling, at least not right now, but it is a situation I'd like to keep an eye on just to be on the safe side. In addition to that she's made a couple of comments that would seem to suggest that she may be blaming herself to some extent for what happened. I'm not entirely sure of just how serious that particular problem is, after all, all I have so far are my first impressions but still, for the time being I'd like to ask you to put SG-1 on stand down for two weeks."
"Two weeks?"
"Yes, sir, though that may have to be extended. The thing is that even though Captain Carter has been performing her duties without incident for the past seven months, I am somewhat concerned as to how she is going to react now that she is no longer keeping this a secret. The way I see it there are two ways in which this situation could play itself out over the next few days. Ideally the fact that she no longer has to worry about the truth coming out will provide her with some measure of relief and that will make things better for her however..."
"However what, doctor?" prods the general when I trail off.
"However there is a possibility that the need to maintain that facade has been the only thing that has been enabling her to keep herself together in the first place," I admit. "If that is the case then the fact that she no longer has to worry about keeping this a secret could cause that facade to crumble and she could find herself spiraling out of control as a result."
"What?" he exclaims.
"I don't think that's what's going to happen here," I reassure him. "Knowing Captain Carter I wouldn't describe that as the most likely scenario but the truth is that I can't really rule it out either, not entirely. Anyway, as I said, for the time being I don't think she should be forced to seek counseling, however I fully intend to prescribe her a friend and..."
"Prescribe her a friend?" he interrupts.
"Yes, sir. Dr. Jackson would be my first choice in that regard," I say. "He knows what's going on, he knows her well enough to notice any sudden changes, she trusts him and the fact that he is not a member of the military means that he doesn't expect her to act like a soldier, which is definitely a good thing under the circumstances. Right now my top priority is Sam Carter... I'm afraid that Captain Carter will just have to wait."
"Aren't they the same person?" asks the general, sounding rather confused.
"Yes and no, sir. You may want to think of her as a two storey building. First there was Sam Carter and then Captain Carter was added on top of that foundation after she joined the military. Now, when you have a two storey building that has sustained some structural damage you must always secure the lower level first and make your way up from there. Simply put, the first floor can survive without the second but if the lower level collapses then the second is automatically doomed. In a way what we are dealing with here is a similar situation. That's why I say that Captain Carter is going to have to wait while we make sure Sam Carter makes it out of this one in one piece... and that is yet another reason why I suspect that, in spite of the fact that he is an archeologist, Dr. Jackson may turn out to be a better option than a psychologist who is officially affiliated to the military in this particular case."
"I see."
"Anyway, regardless of all that, right now my top priority is to make sure that Captain Carter has as much support as she needs and that includes the fact that I don't want her staying on her own, at least not for the time being. Right now my top priority is to see what I can do about getting her comfortable with the idea of sleeping again, that's the first issue on the agenda because adding exhaustion to the list of problems we are dealing with wouldn't exactly help matters. The thing is that she's made it clear that that problem is worse when she is alone. She says that she doesn't have a problem sleeping while off-world, when she is surrounded by her team, nor did she have a problem last night when Dr. Jackson insisted that she stay at his place. I am hoping that that may be the key to helping her get over that particular problem."
"Isn't that a rather unconventional approach?"
"Yes, sir, but it may also be our best bet here. I know that drugs would seem an easier and more practical solution, at least in the short term, but I'm reluctant to prescribe anything to help Captain Carter cope with any of this. Not under the circumstances and not if it can possibly be avoided."
"Why not?"
"Well, there are a couple of reasons. First of all I am all too aware that we can't have a member of an off-world team relying on sleeping pills, not when that could hamper her reactions in the field, so they could only be used short term to mask the problem. They wouldn't really solve it and as soon as she went back to active duty we would find ourselves back where we started... and that would be in the best of cases. On top of that there's the fact that prescribing any sort of medication right now to help her deal with this situation would be too dangerous so I'd rather avoid it unless it becomes absolutely necessary."
"Dangerous?" he asks.
"Yes, sir. The simple fact is that women who have been raped have a statistical risk of becoming addicted to drugs that is significantly higher than the average. That means that Captain Carter is at risk and I have to be very careful not to prescribe her something that could unwittingly be turned into a crutch here... especially not when there is an alternative. That's where Daniel comes in," I explain before going on.
"Last night, after her talk with Dr. Jackson, she stayed at his place and apparently knowing that she wouldn't be alone with her ghosts should she wake up in the middle of the night made a significant difference. Last night she didn't need a friend to be there but at the same time she didn't have to worry about what would have happened if things got bad enough that she actually did, and that in turn enabled her to relax in a way she hadn't been able to do in the past seven months. That's why I'm speaking in terms of prescribing her a friend as a safer alternative to prescribing some sort of chemical aid to help her cope with this situation.
"The point I'm trying to make here, sir, is that I'm hoping that by having her stay with someone she trusts for a couple of weeks maybe we will be able to break that cycle and she will see that she can sleep through the night on her own. Besides, as I said before, there is a chance that things could get worse now that the truth has come out and that means I need someone in a position to spot any possible warning signs. If things deteriorate over the next few days I'd like to be able to reevaluate my decision that she not be forced to see someone professionally. As for the request that SG-1 be put on stand down, while she is a big part of that request, the truth is that that's not just for Captain Carter's benefit. I am assuming that, as the officer in charge of that particular mission, Colonel O'Neill will have to be briefed about this and somehow I don't think he is going to take it particularly well."
"That's probably an understatement, however I'm not sure whether or not Captain Carter should be allowed to remain a member of SG-1 under the circumstances, not when another such incident remains a strong possibility," says the general and I know we've come to the critical point in this encounter.
"With all due respect, sir, removing her from SG-1 would be devastating for her, not to mention that it would be totally unjustified. She is aware of the risks and if she feels that they are worth taking then I think it should be her decision," I point out.
"Need I remind you that I am responsible for the safety of the people who serve under my command, doctor?"
"No, sir, but I do feel that removing Captain Carter from her current position would be totally unwarranted, especially considering the fact that she is not the only member of an SG team to have been raped in the line of duty and that you took no such action in the other case," I remind him, knowing that things are about to get tricky.
"What other case?" he asks.
"Well, sir, we may think of rape as a man forcing himself on a woman or maybe on another man, however I wouldn't really describe the encounter between Doctor Jackson and Hathor as being consensual, would you?"
"No, of course not but..."
"But you don't feel comfortable labeling it as 'rape' either? I'm sorry, sir, but that's exactly what it was, even if we've all been dancing around the word ever since it happened. All the tap dancing in the world does nothing to change the facts, though I am all too aware that Dr. Jackson is not ready to deal with that particular label just yet. As for Captain Carter, rape is about power, it is about control. If you were to pull her from SG-1 for her own protection because of her gender you would be stripping her of control over her life just as effectively as Turghan stripped her of control over her body."
"Are you saying that...?"
"That by pulling her from SG-1 you would probably be causing as much damage as, if not more than, Turghan did? Yes, sir, that's exactly what I'm saying. Being a member of SG-1 is an integral part of Captain Carter's self-image and taking that away from her right now would definitely not help matters. Besides, there is no professional reason for you to have her removed from her current position and she knows it."
"So what do you suggest we do? I can't just let her go out there under the circumstances!" he says, shaking his head and I know I have a battle in my hands.
"Well, sir, unfortunately it is not so simple. The truth is that Captain Carter is in no more danger than the average male member of an SG team would be if he were to come across another queen Goa'uld looking for 'the code of life'. As for what could possibly be done to ensure her safety, I think Dr. Jackson may have some ideas in terms of a reasonable protocol that could be established to prevent another such situation from arising in the first place. Trying to prevent something like this is more his field than mine however I can promise you that from now on there will be some changes instituted in the infirmary to make sure that if something like this ever happens again it won't go undetected for seven months. The problem is that, seeing how those changes can't be made retroactively, they are unlikely to do us much good in this particular case. As for the future, as long as we don't know what's out there, each mission is going to entail some risks for all those involved. The fact is that there isn't a single team that hasn't had to be patched up at least once in the seven months I've been here, either as a result of some skirmish with the Goa'uld or of a cultural misunderstanding with the natives of whatever planet they happened to have been visiting at the time, believe me, I know... after all, I'm the one who's in charge of doing the patching... and don't even get me started on the number of times I've had Dr. Jackson and Colonel O'Neill in my infirmary. Are you going to pull them from their current assignments because it's too dangerous?" I ask.
"No, of course not, but this was not an ordinary injury, was it?" he reminds me.
"No, it was not an ordinary injury, nor was it something that couldn't have happened here on earth while Captain Carter was off-duty either. The thing is that if you want to make absolutely sure your female personnel won't ever have to go through a similar experience you are going to have to appoint an armed guard to each one of them whenever they set foot out of this mountain and even that may not be enough to keep them safe."
"It's not the same," he protests.
"No, it's not, sir, I agree but it's not as simple as having the female personnel reassigned to 'safer duties' either. The truth is that it's a risk that is always there, whether it's on or off world and even though you may be uncomfortable thinking about it I can promise you that there isn't a single female member of the staff here who is not well aware of that fact. I can also promise you that there isn't a single female member of the armed forces who isn't perfectly aware of the fact that should they ever be captured the probability of being sexually assaulted is close to 100 percent. They know it and they are willing to take that chance... that is a risk we are all willing to live with," I say.
"I'll take that under consideration, doctor, but only if something can be worked out to ensure that she will be kept reasonably safe in future missions," warns the general rather grudgingly after thinking it over for a few seconds. It's not the most reassuring statement but I know that, at least for the time being, that's the most I'm going to get.
Author's note: Hi guys, first of all, thanks for your reviews, as always they are deeply appreciated.
Now, before you say anything, in this chapter I had some doubts as to where the conversation between Janet and General Hammond was going to take place. His office seemed like the most logical choice but I was worried about the security cameras. In the end I decided that those probably record video only, otherwise the personnel manning the security station would have to have a higher clearance than General Hammond and that didn't seem to make much sense. Anyway, I just thought I might as well mention it, just to be on the safe side.
Take care,
Alec