A/N 1: By golly... Here's another chapter in the space of only a few days. My Muse have evidently returned in more than full force, which I don't mind at all.

POV: Sara

Disclaimers: Look for them in chapter 20.

Chp. 21.

We enter Tamales Bay around noon, and we head straight for the graveyard. Knowing that I'm about to face my fathers grave, having had my stomach in knots since I woke up this morning. I'm in such a shape, that I'm not able to drive, so that task is left to Gar, with Jacqui beside him in the front. Gil and I sit in the back, him holding my hand as we pass a lot of buildings and streets that I remember from my childhood. Once outside the graveyard, Gar turns off the car, before us all gets out. When we reach the entrance, Gar turns towards me, and I know we need to lay out a plan, as to how to get through this. I really don't know how, but as always somehow, Gil anticipates this, and he takes his hand in mine.

"Why don't Jacqui and I go with you, and then we leave you to it once we have reached the destination?" He suggests.

The only thing that I can manage right now is to nod weakly, and I look at my brother to see what he thinks of it. I can detect an equal queasiness in his eyes as I look into them. Jacqui puts her hand softly on his upper arm, and he looks into her hesitant smiling face. After that he looks at me and finally nods his head. I can see that nod is just as weak as mine was. It's agreed then, but before entering the graveyard gate, we siblings give each other a hug of encourage. Gil takes my hand, and I notice Jacqui's hand slips quietly into Gar's. I only notice because he looks down at their joined hands in surprise, and then he looks up into her eyes. She just gives him a smile, as to assure him that she there with him. Then the procession is set in gear, as Gar and Jacqui takes the lead.

I know exactly where our father is buried here since I haven't forgotten that. It's strange since the last time I visited his grave, was just after I graduated much earlier from high school, and I had been about to go to Boston, just so I could get away from the memories. Sure my last foster home had been in the very outskirts of San Francisco, just before you got on the road leading to Tamales Bay and the terrifying memories. My memory of the path to the grave though, isn't even hazy in my mind, and I'm very puzzled by that. But then again, being forced going to the funeral of your murdered father, who was murdered by your own mother no less, even if you didn't wanted to be there, had to leave its foot prints in you memory somehow, so therefore also the path to the grave, even if you was looking down all the time you were there. After a short walk we were there, staring in disbelief at the tombstone with an inscription, some unknowing moron had put onto it:

Maxwell Rupert Sidle

Born 1947 – Died 1984

Beloved husband and father

I couldn't help snort by that inscription: "Beloved husband and father?" Yeah right. I could hear Gar say something similar, and I looked up into my brothers eyes, and I'm sure the look of disgust on his face, was mirrored by my facial expression. I also caught the tender look that Jacqui gave him. I finally looked at the man I love, and his facial expression bore a mix of both love, concern, worry, and maybe a touch of pride. Without a word, he gave me a big hug, and then went to get Jacqui, who gave Gar a small squeeze too. Together the two of them stepped back, so we siblings could have some time alone at our fathers' grave.

"Our father's grave?" Now that is really an ironic thing. Given that he was a lapse hippie, and had sworn never to be buried in a cemetery. He had wanted to be cremated, and his ashes strewn all over Tamales Bay. Take that, dear father. I could see that Gar was thinking similar things. We didn't need to communicate with each other, since there were no needs for it. We opted to just stand close together, arms around each other backs, as we looked at the grave of the man, who made our childhoods a living nightmare most of the times.

I've often wondered if I could ever forgive him, and strangely I feel that I can, but I will never be able to forget about it. Not completely, since it's so ingrown in my memory, and it still affects my daily life. I also know that I still both love him, and hate him at the same time. I know that Gar feels the same, since we had a conversation about it, even before we left for this trip. Somehow I wish I could tell him how much of a bastard he was, but no amount of words would ever be able to cover it all. I did feel the need to utter something, on the behalf of us both.

"Yes father we forgive you, but don't expect us to ever forget." I say. "Don't you ever expect us to forget how miserable you made all of our lives, and even though we hate the living daylights out of you, we also love you all the same. You were our father, our flesh and blood, and that's always thicker than anything else. We've both gone on with our lives, good lives that bring us joy and happiness. We hope that you can see that."

Well I knew the reason to my happiness, which happened to the man standing about 20 yards away. I looked into the sad eyes of my brother, and suddenly felt the need to make sure that he is happy, so I decided to be blunt and ask him a question.

"Do you love Jacqui?" I ask him in a lowered voice. He gives me a startled look, before turning his head towards the woman in question, who smiles at him. She's wearing a look in her eyes, one I'm quite familiar with being around her and my brother.

"Yes I do." He answers me, with a slow shy smile, as his eyes returns to me.

"Then go tell her." I encourage him. "And yes she loves you too; I can see it so clearly in her eyes when she looks at you. Don't wait ages to tell her, and before you object, you do know that I speak of experience in the 'wait to tell' department." He studies my face for a moment, and then sighs.

"Okay I'll tell her." He says as he draws me in for a hug. "Thanks Princess."

"You're welcome, Knight in shining armor." I say as I hug him back. After releasing each other, I turn him around. "No go to her and send Gil my way." I give him a gentle push towards the two waiting people. He obeys and soon I'm joined by Gil, just as Gar tells us we should meet at the car.

I see my brother leading Jacqui towards the exit, or rather the gate we entered, with his hand joined with hers, and now it's hers turn to look a bit startled. I smile at the sight and Gil follows my line of sight, and then looks back to me.

"What's up?" He asks me as he pulls me closer to him.

"I gave Gar a push in the right direction, as in telling Jacqui that he loves her." I answer him. "So now he will do just that. That was why he took her outside, and away from here."

"That was good." He says as he smiles, but that smile morphs into a concerned facial expression. "So how is it standing here?"

"It's weird since I haven't been her since the summer I was 16." I answer him. "That was just before I left for Harvard, and I somehow need to see his grave before I left. But it's also cleansing in every way."

"How is this cleansing?" Gil asks me.

"Well, we just told him that we forgive him, but will never forget." I start. "We also told him that no matter how much we hate him, for messing up our lives, we also love him just as much, since he was our father."

"Good for the both of you." Gil praises with his pride for me written all over his face. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you." I just say.

"You are welcome, Honey." He tells me before I turn back to my father's grave again.

"Father, this is Gil, he's the source of my happiness, and the love of my life." I say as a way of introduction. It's silly, but I need my father to really know, that I'm happy. "You have now met him and this moment here, will probably be the only time that you him."

With that final statement, I suddenly need to get the heck away from here. Gil must have sensed that, because he takes my hand and starts to lead me towards the gate. We reach the car, just as our companions do.

Now you probablyask: "What about the loose end called Gareth and Jacqui?" Well not to worry, I'll get to that in the next chapter.

A note please...