Chapter 12
When we last left the citizens of Sakhmet, Scordrax was terrorizing them and they fled to the palace.
The guards assemble the refugees inside the Great Hall at the Palace of Sakhmet.
Amira(speaking to a Lenny): Do what you can to make these people comfortable. The palace kitchens are well stocked. Make sure everyone is fed and warm.
Skarl: -pops up- Did someone mention food?
Hannah: -walks in covered in snow- And warmth?
Amira: Not for old, forgotten plot characters like you!
Hannah: Hey! Your plot will be be over some day too!
Jeran: Yeah, and besides, people still remember us! I mean look at me! I'm damn sexy!
Kass: I'll say...
Jeran: Excuse me?
Kass: What? I didn't say anything! O.O
Amira: -sigh-
Acara Guard: -runs up- Princess Amira! Come quickly!
Amira: What is it?
Acara Guard: Look out the window!
Amira: Oh, very well. -walks over and looks out a window- I don't see anything... just sand and more sand.
Acara Guard: Your other window!
Amira: Oh...I knew that... -looks out other window-
(theif runs by with purse)
Garin: Eeeee! Give that back, you meanie!
Amira: Umm...okay..
Acara Guard: Hellllooooo! Did you not see the ferocious flames?
Amira: Oh...I guess I didn't... -looks out window again- Wait! NOW I see them!
Acara Guard: Annnnd...?
Amira: What?
Me: -coughs-
Amira: Oh! Right! That fiend, how dare he do this! I am going to find that monster and settle this once and for all.
(Amira walks out onto palace platform)
Jazan: Ah, my princess. At last you have come to accept my proposal.
Amira: Is this what you want? To rule a city in flames?
Swordmaster Talek: -runs by with a fire extinguisher- Mooooove outta the way! Maraquan Draik with a fire extinguisher comin' through! -makes fire truck sounds- Weeee-woooooo! Weeeee-woooooo! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! NOBODY, I repeat, NOBODY PANIC! Oh, for the love of Pete don't panic! Don't panic! Don't frikin' panic! Ahhh! Ahhhh! AHHHH! DON'T PANIC! AAAHHHH! REMAIN CALM! AAAAAAHHHHH! -runs around in circles- REMAIN CALM! REMAIN CALM! I'll SAVE YOU! I HAVE THIS LIFE-SAVING DEVICE! AAAHHH!
Amira: A dinky little fire extinguisher? Oh joy, we're saved.
Jazan: Where were we?
Amira: I was bitching and complaining, as usual.
Jazan: Oh yeah, right. Continue.
Amira: With pleasure! Is THIS what you want? To rule a city in flames? To marry a princess who despises you and can't stand to be near you?
Jazan: You have no idea what it is like to live like this. What does love matter?
Amira: What do you MEAN 'what does love matter'? The whole point of marriage is to spend the rest of your life with someone you love!
Jazan: O.o Really? Man, what was I thinking? I was way off...
Amira: This is insanity! The only thing you've offered my people is death and misery!
Random Townsperson: And third degree burns!
Amira: Yes, and third degree burns.
Jazan: Only if you deny me.
Amira: Look, I can't marry you. You're damn fine...and I hate to compliment you..but I can't spend the rest of my glamorous life wih you just because you have a nice face-
Jazan: Don't forget my awsome bod.
Amira: -and your awsome body..
Jazan: Look at you...you know you want me.
Amira: I'll never admit to that..
Jazan: -holds up ring- Take this ring now, Princess Amira. The moment you put it on, you will be my wife and the torment of your people will end.
Amira: Oooh...blingage...hard to...resist...
At that same moment, back in Qasala, Nabile makes a startling discovery.
Nabile: -holding up a book- Listen to this, Tomos. It says when the curse is lifted Jazan isn't the only thing that will live again...
Tomos: -scratches head- What does that mean?
Nabile: I have no idea. Maybe his city will be restored or something? Poor Jazan, imagine how wretched his life must be.
Tomos: Ooo, the poor cursed prince. I think you're falling in love with him.
Nabile: -slams book shut- I am not in love with anybody, now shut up. There might be something in here that can help us.
Tomos: -makes kissy faces- Nabile is in love! Kissy-kissy! She's in love with a freak.
Nabile: -holds out hand-
Jacques: -hands her his bag of makeup-
Nabile: -smacks Tomos with it-
Tomos: Oww..-rubs face-
Nabile: Will you cut it out?
Tomos: Yes..
Nabile: -goes back to reading book- There's something about the rings in here. Each one has a purpose, one will help lift the curse, one holds powers of witchcraft. One will take the bearer home if he is lost...
Tomos: -looks at his ring- I wonder which one this is? Only one way to find out.
Nabile: Tomos, don't!
Trying to stop Tomos from wearing the ring, Nabile throws her arms around Tomos, hoping to knock the ring from his grasp.
Tomos: Heh, too late! It's already on my finger!
Nabile: You really like screwing up, don't you? -punches him- When will you ever learn?
(Ring magically transports them to the Palace, inbetween Jazan and Amira as they're about to kiss)
Tomos: Oooh...did we disturb something? -giggles-
Amira: Uh...no! We weren't doing anything!
Nabile: He turns you on, doesn't he?
Amira: No!
Jazan: Yeah..she was just, uh...testing my breath!
Tomos: Oh, she was?
Nabile: -smacks him- No! You dummy!
Guy with script: Hey! Say your correct lines!
Tomos: Oh..right..
Nabile: Okay, let's try that again. We just appeared before these two...
Amira and Jazan: -act suprised-
Nabile: Out of the frying pan...
Tomos: ...and into the fire!
End.
(Behind the scenes stuff)
Nabile: Okay Tomos, let's test your I.Q.
Me: You know it'll be like...two or something...
Nabile: Well, let's find out anyway.
Dacon: Hey, where is princess Amira?
Nightsteed: Screw her! Where is Jazan?
Jeran: Hee hee...you said screw..
And after Jeran's statement, it slowly dawns on everyone...
Me: O.O
Dacon: Ewww!
Nightsteed: PLEASE tell me he isn't!
Kass: Well, he is pretty sexy after all..
-everybody stares at him-
Kass: What? I didn't say anything! -runs off-
Me: Let's all pretend that we never talked about any of this.
Nightsteed: Way ahead of you.
Nabile: -comes back with Tomos' I.Q. test results- Hey everybody! I'm back! The results say his I.Q. is...oh..this can't be right...
Me: -looks at the paper- Hmm...zero point three? Yep, sounds about right.
Tomos: Hee hee..I'm special...
Kass: And pretty sexy...
-everybody stares at him again-
Kass: What?