Chapter 13
Me: Dammit! I can't believe this plot's almost over!
Amira: What are you doing in my castle?
Me: I flew...
Skeith Spielburg: Get outta the plot, crazy faerie lady!
Me: Hey! This spoof was my idea anyway!
Jazan: Your ruining it.
Me: Oh fine! -stomps off-
Jazan: Where were we?
Nabile: We just appeared.
Jazan: Oh, yes. Who are these intruders? Guards! Seize them and make them tap dance in stupid outfits!
Guard: What? o.O
Jazan: I mean, keep an eye on them!
Amira: Uhh...EXCUSE me? You have no authority to give orders in MY palace!
Vyassa: -pops up and snaps fingers- She told joo! Mmmhmmm!
Amira: I am the Princess of this city! I give the orders!
Jazan: Ahem, in case you hadn't noticed, darling, you no longer rule Sakhmet. I do!
Amira: When did THIS happen? I never accepted your proposal!
Jazan: Look at your finger..
Amira: Oh fine. -looks at finger- I don't see anything...
Jazan: Your other finger!
Amira: Oh, I knew that... -looks at other finger-
Jazan: Do you see now?
Amira: O.O HOW DID THIS RING GET ON MY FINGER?
Jazan: You weren't drugged if that's what you're thinking! -shifty eyes-
Amira: Oh my gosh, you DRUGGED me?
Jazan: Uh..no...
Amira: Where did you get the drugs?
Swordmaster Talek: -hides behind a sack full of weed-
Jazan: Uh...yeah, anyways, my first command is for the people of Sakhmet to prepare a royal wedding, which shall take place tomorrow. Displease me, and I shall unleash more terrors on you.
Amira: Gee, what a great husband...
Jazan: I know, right?
(crickets chirp)
With no choice and in terror for their lives, Amira and her servants return to the palace to fulfil Jazan's orders.
Jazan: That includes you, narrator.
Narrator: Awwwww...F-(violent swearing)
(scene moves to Tomos sitting on a stool)
Forgotten in the wedding preparations, Tomos waits under guard inside Jazan's Tower.
(scene moves to Nabile and a Pteri)
And also being watched over, Nabile makes better use of her time.
Nabile: I have read the ancient tablets in Qasala. I know your Prince is not evil at heart, but under a curse.
Pteri Handmaiden: No one has ever bothered to learn our history or know the wickedness that aflicts us.
Nabile: If I can talk to the Prince, maybe we can find some way to lift the curse without hurting anyone else.
Pteri Handmaiden: The curse says he must marry a Sakhmet princess, and Amira is the only one. Stupid, stubborn brat that she is...
Amira: Hey! I'm not a stupid, stubbor-(gets tackled by Jazan and drugged)
Jazan: What was that, sweetie? -forces a smile-
Amira(is now super high): asdfkflglflkads...
Jazan: That's what I thought.
Nabile(brushing hair): Getting back on subject, the tablets said the curse will be lifted "when true love unites." Jazan doesn't love her, and it's clear she will never love him.
Swordmaster Talek: She will if she's drugged and has no idea what's going on!
Nabile: T.T
Swordmaster Talek: -guilty whimper- Okay, I think I'll leave now..
Pteri Handmaiden: -holds up a dress- Well you had better put on something less tatty if you intend to address the prince. Although I don't see what good you can do...
Garin: Wow! A dress for ME?
Pteri Handmaiden: Ummm...no.
Garin: -runs off crying-
Nabile: -puts it on- O.o Woah...DIS DRESS IS DA SHIZ!
Pteri Handmaiden: What did you say?
Nabile: Err...this dress is beautiful...
Pteri Handmaiden: That's what I thought you said. It once belonged to Jazan's mother, the queen. She was truly lovely. It makes me happy to see someone wearing it again.
While the handmaiden-
Jazan: Work AND narrate, slave!
-sigh- While the handmaiden -pauses to pull another cake out of the oven- escorts Nabile to Jazan's Chamber, Tomos grows more bored every second.
Tomos(speaking to the monster watching over him): Hey, can I have a puzzle or something? There's nothing to do in here.
Monster: Be quiet! I have better things to do than guard a child!
Tomos: Oh really? Like what?
Brown Tonu Guard from chapter 5: SMOKE WEED WITH US!
Grey Tonu Guard: -has a joint sticking out of his mouth- Yeah...bitch...
Tomos: Do you even have lungs? O.o
Monster: THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I'm certainly not going to fetch you puzzles! -walks away-
As the guard leaves the room, Tomos notices his cloth wraps have become loose.
Tomos: -grins evily-
Quietly he ties the end of the loose wrapping around the leg of a chair.
Swordmaster Talek: Oh yeah! Like that little chair is really going to stop him keeping you from escaping!
Monster: -turns around- Wha? Who's escaping?
Tomos: Not me! -hops out window-
Monster: Get back in here! If you fall out that window and kill yourself, Jazan will have my hide!
Tomos: Oh, please! I'm not going to sl-(slips) AAAAAHHHH! I'm gonna die--OOF!-lands on the ground two feet below him-
Monster: Hey! I said get back h-(gets knocked out by Swordmaster Talek's fire extinguisher)
Tomos: Thanks goodness for one story windows! -runs off-
In moments, Tomos escapes from Jazan's tower...
...only to find himself in deeper trouble!
Scordrax: Mwahahaha! Burn! BURN! Hehehehe!
Tomos: Help! O.O
Harry Potter Puppet Pal: -runs up panting- We came as fast as we could!
Ron Puppet Pal: Or at least as fast as the people connected to the arms that control us could!
Tomos: So help me!
Harry Potter PP: Yes, right. We'll save you!
Ron PP: I brought a flamethrower! This'll stop him!
Harry Potter PP: You idiot! That's a fire breathing scorchio! He's resistant to fire!
Ron PP: Oh, did I say fire? I meant spoog.
Scordrax: 0.0 Spoog? AAAAAAHHHHHH!
Harry Potter PP: And I brought beans! What'll he have to ignite his flames with if he farts it all out! Tee-hee!
Magical Trevor: -pops up- Yo, did someone say beans?
Harry Potter PP: Not for you!
Magical Trevor: Awww...shucks.
Town Idiot/Crazy person: -runs by again- THE END HAS COME! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! AAAAAHHHHHH!
Guys in the white jackets: -run after him- Get back here!
Tomos: Gosh, how hard is it to catch him?
Guy in white jacket #1: Pretty hard. He's a slippery little devil. He rubs himself in butter and says he's toast.
Me: -can't resist urge to yell- BUTTERED TOAST! xDDDD
End.
Sneak peek at the next chapter!
Jazan: Oh my gosh! Mommy?
Nabile: Er..uh..yeah. Jazan, I AM YOUR MOTHER!
Jazan: Really?
Nabile: Not really. Does this dress make me look fat?