Me: Eee! Can you believe it? THE FINAL CHAPTER!
Darigan: What's so great about it? This plot sucked just like all the others!
Kanrik: Oh, quit acting so cocky because the Battle for Meridell plot was better than the rest of the plots!
Jeran: Heh heh, you said cocky...
Kanrik: Ha! I did, didn't I?
Chapter 14! (OMG)
When we last left Tomos, he was running away from Scordrax.
Me: Eeeee! The city is still on fire!
Town Idiot/Crazy person(runs by with barel on fire): My pants are burning! MY PANTS ARE BURNING!
Tomos: -bangs on door of palace- Let me in! Let me in!
Gelert: -opens door- You only have to say it once, I heard you the first time.
Tomos: Thank you! What was that thing?
Gelert: Another of Jazan's creations sent to torment us. It gets worse every day! And if you want to seek refuge here, you need to speak to the quartermaster over there. As you see, things are getting crowded in here.
Tomos: A master of quarters? Cool!
While Tomos settles as a refugee, Nabile and the handmaiden are escorted to the palace. There, Jazan is overseeing the final preparations for his wedding.
They arrive to find that the wedding ceremony has already begun.
Jazan: Have my bride brought forth.
(three of Jazan's monsters bring forth Amira and Enarka)
Amira: Get your hands off me, you thugs!
Cybunny Preacher: If anyone knows why these two should not be married, let them speak now...
Swordmaster Talek (thinking): Urge to shout out randomly...rising...
Nabile: -raises hand- I do. The Prince does not love Amira and she absolutely hates him!
Jazan: HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT, YOU LITTLE---Wait...-sees Nabile in his mom's dress- Mommy?
Nabile: Er..uh..yeah. Jazan, I AM YOUR MOTHER!
Jazan: Really?
Nabile: Not really. Does this dress make me look fat?
Jazan: Not really. But honestly, why did you have to interrupt?
Nabile: You know I speak the truth. You also know the curse will not be broken unless true love unites you with your bride.
Enarka: My goodness! It can't be!
Nabile: What? Is there something in my teeth?
Enarka: Err...no. You look just like princess Neera.
Jazan: Who?
Nabile: What?
Swordmaster Talek: Where?
Amira: When?
Me: WHY?
Enarka: A long time ago Princess Neera brought her family to shame after she fell in love with a simple peasant. Her father cast her out of the palace and left her to live in poverty with her husband. If she is truly a descendant of Princess Neera then she is of royal blood and Amira's distant cousin.
Amira: Well, hot diggity! I have a cousin!
Nabile: I have read your history Jazan, and I know once you were once a kind prince. Deep down I believe there is still a good heart inside you. This wickedness is the curse--it isn't you! Amira may not love you, but I do!
(scratchy sounds of a record suddenly being stopped)
Me: Woah! Wait a minute! Hold up, stop, rewind! What did you just say? o.O
Swordmaster Talek: That was extremely sudden...
Tomos: Nabile, no! Don't do it!
Nabile: Why not?
Tomos: Because then you'll prove I was actually RIGHT about something, and that's just scary!
Nabile: Oh my gosh! You're right!
Tomos: I'm right? Aaaaaahhhhhh!
Nabile: Aaaaahhhhhhh!
Tomos: Aaaaahhhhhh!
Nabile: Aaaaaahhhhhhh!
Swordmaster Talek: Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!
Nuria (the fire faerie that was in the Lost Desert TCG card expansion but never appeared in this damn plot): Aaaaahhhhh!
Jazan: No one has ever offered me such kindness. Princess Amira, I release you from your obligation. Let us begin the ceremony again.
And so it came to pass that Nabile, a-
Me: THIS ENDING SUCKS!
Nabile: Don't blame us! It's in the script!
Swordmaster Talek: LET'S GET THE SCRIPT GUY!
Guy with script: Eeeeee! -runs away-
Me: YEAH! We're gonna end this plot MY WAY!
-quickly rewrites script-
Me: Here, you all read these instead!
Nabile: Jazan, whenever I read about you, at first I felt sympathy for you, and then as I got to learn about you more, that sympathy turned into more. More than just admiration. Jazan, I think I love you!
Tomos: Ha! I knew it!
Jazan: Wow, this was so unexpected.
Nabile: I know, right?
So Nabile married Jazan. The moment he put the ring on her finger, Sakhmet returned to the world of the living and the monsters had vanished from the city.
Magical trevor: -runs down aisle throwing rose petals-
Nabile: Wait! Before we go back to Qasala, I have to say good-bye to my friends!
Jazan: Don't worry, you'll see them at the wedding reception!
Nabile: A--a wedding reception?
Jazan: Yep! We're not following the script, remember?
Me: Yup! I made SURE of that... -glances at the script guy cornered by Swordmaster Talek and several angry Sakhmet citizens with third degree burns-
Guy with script: Back! Get back! All of you! I still have this script! I'm capable of giving you all very nasty papercuts!
Nuria: Sweet, a reception! I'll be the DJ!
(after hours of fun and getting drunk at the reception, Jazan and Nabile must leave)
Nabile: -hugs Tomos- Bye!
Tomos: I'll miss you.
Nabile: Come visit me in Qasala some time, even though it's about an hour long trek in the middle of a scorching desert!
Tomos: Errr... yeah, okay...
Nabile: -hugs Horace- Bye!
Horace: I hate to see you leave the Desert Scarabs.
Nabile: I know, I do too. -goes off to hug the rest of the Scarabs-
Jazan (is about to drop to the floor from so much alcohol): -shakes hands with Amira- It was vurry nize meeting (hic) you...
Amira: I'm over here...
Jazan: Oh... then who am I shaking hands with...
Armin: -squeals- Eeeee! He touched me! I'll NEVER wash this hand again!
Nightsteed: Come on, Prince. Time to go home.
Jazan: -gets on Nightsteed backwards- That's (hic) KING to yooouuu... -falls off-
Nightsteed: -sigh- He's too drunk to sit upright. Someone fling him over my back!
After everyone said their farewells, Nabile returned to Qasala with Jazan as her husband...
...and together they began rebuilding the kingdom.
Me: Where did the wocky get that shovel? o.O
Swordmaster Talek: -hides behind wall-
End.
Deleted Scenes
Scene 1
Amira(in her room): Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the vainest of them all?
Mirror: Garin the Foolish...
Amira: YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF-(smashes mirror onto floor)
Scene 2
Jazan(is at Target with a full shopping cart): Lalalalala...-rolls cart up to register-
Lady at register: -looks in cart- Uh, sir, are you sure you want to buy all that eyeliner?
Jazan: Of course I'm sure!
Lady at register: -shrugs- Okay, fine with me. -starts scanning everything-
Jazan: -waits patiently-
Lady at register: That'll be $387.94 sir.
Jazan: -hands her money-
Lady at register: -counts money- Um, sir, you're five cents short.
Jazan: Awww...I don't have any more money with me! Can't you just..you know..let me take it? What does one nickel matter?
Lady at register: Sorry, I can't do that. You can give it back to me and I'll take that price off, then you'll have enough...
Jazan: HOW DARE YOU DENY ME MY EYELINER! -zaps her into a pile of soot-
People nearby: -turn and stare-
Jazan: Errr...-looks at pile of soot- Oops... 0.0 -quickly rolls cart out of store and runs off-
Scene 3
Nightsteed: Yo, has anyone seen Jazan?
Enarka: He's locked himself in his room.
Nightsteed: Doing what?
Enarka: Trying on his new eyeliner.
Nightsteed: Oh. -walks to his room and knocks on door-
(no one answers)
Nightsteed: -hears voices on the other side of door-
Voice: Oh, that outfit looks awful on you! Let me just help you take it off...
Nightsteed: -bursts through door- What the hell's going on in here?
Jazan: -screams- Eeeee! I WASN'T DRESSING UP MY USUKI IN MY LIKENESS AND PUTTING EYELINER ON IT IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!
Nightsteed: Ooooo-kaaaaaayyyyyy... -shuts door quietly and walks away-
Scene 4
Kitchen Chef: Hey! Where's my spatula?
Swordmaster Talek: -runs off with spatula- Eeee hee hee hee! SPATULA!
Kitchen Chef: Oi, not again! -smacks forehead-
Scene 5
Brown Tonu Guard: -is still smoking weed- Awww...dis stuff is fo rizzle...
Purple Tonu Guard: Word...
(sirens suddenly starts blaring)
Voice outside: This is the police! We have the palace surrounded! Come out with your hands up, we know you have illegal drugs in there!
Brown Tonu Guard: You'll have to catch us, SUCKERS! -grabs jetpack and flies off-
Purple Tonu Guard: -does the same-
Grey Tonu Guard: -grabs a jetpack but misses hole in ceiling- OW! -rubs head then flies off again-
End of deleted scenes
Me: Well everyone, that's it! We hope you enjoyed our spoof!
Everyone who was in the spoof: -bows as people in audience throw roses and flowers and sharp stones-
Tomos: Wait, sto-(is hit in the head by a stone)
Armin: -picks up stone- OHMYGOSH! This touched Tomos! I'll never wash this again!