Setting a Course

By Bernadeen

Rated: T

Disclaimer: I don't own and claim no rights to any of these wonderful characters. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Summary: Harm decides it's time to move his relationship with Mac forward.

Spoilers: This takes place during the last half season 7 sometime between "The Mission" and "Tribunal," so anything up to that time might be referenced.

Written summer 2002

A/N: This is the first JAG fanfic I wrote. I began dabbling in writing because I wanted the characters to do something different from what TPTB were letting them do. Or I wanted to create my own JAG adventures. After all, fanfiction is an adult's way of playing with action figures from a favorite show.

Chapter 1

1900 EDT, Thursday

North of Union Station

Washington DC

Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr., USN, finished clearing away his supper dishes and moved around the kitchen island to the living space in his apartment. He reached for his briefcase, intending to do some work. Pulling out the file he needed to review, he sat on the couch and began reading.

A half hour later he realized that he wasn't comprehending or remembering the words he was seeing. His mind was wandering, not to anything in particular, but definitely away from the subject of his work. Oh, well, he had some time tomorrow. He finally tossed the file on top of his briefcase and leaned back on the couch to think.

As usual when he allowed his mind to wander, his first thoughts were of his partner, Marine Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. They had been partners for six years. They had certainly had some adventures together, and their friendship had had its ups and downs. Right now he wasn't sure whether it was up or down. He'd jeopardized it when he had returned to flying. It was something that he had to do and he had expected Mac to understand. She hadn't. He realized later that was probably because she had been struggling to come to terms with the emotions surrounding her unhappy childhood, recently brought to the surface by the death of her father and seeing her mother after so many years. He selfishly thought only about his own torn emotions: joy to be flying again but sadness and loss to be leaving his friends and work at JAG.

When it became clear that he had done all he could in a career as a Naval aviator and returned to JAG, everything was different. Somehow, he naively thought he could step back into that world without missing a beat. Bud and Harriett had welcomed him back. Even the Admiral hadn't punished him for leaving by giving him undesirable cases. But Mac had changed. Her relationship with Mic Brumby, the Australian Navy lawyer on temporary assignment to JAG, had also changed. It seemed to Harm that Mac and Mic now had the easy, companionable friendship that Harm and Mac used to have. And beyond that, there were Mic's flirtatious remarks to Mac that would have gotten U.S. military personnel written up. But Mic could get away with it as long as he kept it away from the Admiral's ears. Mac should have given Mic a red light, but she seemed to enjoy it.

Harm didn't want to dwell once again on the disastrous trip to Sidney, on Mac's engagement to Mic, and on his feeling of despair at the thought of losing Mac's friendship once she was married to another man. For as much as Mac had assured him that they would remain friends, they both knew that their relationship could not endure Mac's marriage.

Finally, at Mac's engagement party, he had admitted to himself, and almost to Mac, that it was more than a friend he was losing. He was losing the woman he loved. His own sense of honor and personal insecurities joined up to hold him back from telling her how he felt. He really had been compelled to get to her wedding, even though it would have caused him more pain then he could even imagine to watch her marry another man.

Instead, he almost died in the Atlantic Ocean. Though he hated himself for it, a small secret place in his heart was happy that his mishap had stopped the wedding. When Mic had finally called it quits and gone back to Australia, Mac had been so hurt. She had really loved the guy in some fashion. And when she needed Harm's comfort, circumstances had prevented him from helping her. Then the obstacles of time, distance and duty managed to block his efforts to clear the air between them.

Finally he gave up. If he could regain a measure of her friendship, maybe that's all he could expect. For the rest, maybe anything more just wasn't meant to be.

But the world had changed in the last year. Mac and Harm's cases had many times brought them into dangerous situations. Now, however, the risks were higher. The threat more real. And as the vision of Mac's laughing face swam across his mind, his heart suddenly constricted at the thought of her laughter stopping. Of their not seeing each other for whatever reason. Harmon Rabb was not one to give up easily. Why was he thinking of resigning himself to some luke warm friendship with Sarah MacKenzie? The thought and determination leaped across his mind.

A trace of the uncertainty that had accompanied the years of friendship with Mac came drifting back. How did she feel? Sure, that night in Sidney harbor she made it pretty clear that she wanted more then friendship. But a lot of things had happened since that time. Did she still want to risk it?

All right, let's find out, Harm thought. What if I met Mac today and she wasn't my partner? What if I felt this same attraction, the same chemistry? What if we were at the beginning, just like Mac had suggested after the JAG-a-thon? What would I do? If I felt this kind of electrifying response to someone I'd just met, I'd probably run like hell, he thought wryly. She'd scare me to death.

But if I could get up the nerve, I'd call her for a date. Well, why not? Mac and I have spent a lot of time together, but I wouldn't call any of the times a date. I'll test the waters tomorrow, he decided. With that decision made, he picked up the file and found he could now concentrate on preparing for tomorrow's hearing.

0900 EDT, Friday

JAG HQ

Falls Church, VA

Harm had been in early. He was ready for the hearing at 1000. He had attended the staff briefing with the Admiral, and now he tried to work out how and when to put his plan into action. Mac was working hard on a big case with Sturgis. By the end of the day, maybe she would be receptive to an invitation to dinner the next evening.

1630 EDT, Friday

JAG HQ

Mac returned wearily to her office. It had been a long day, but she felt that she and Sturgis would be ready for court on Monday. She would continue to review the file this weekend, but maybe she would have some time to relax, too.

She swung her chair to stare vacantly at the Marine recruiting poster on her wall. Just for a minute she closed her eyes and thought about the past. God, how she missed the times when she and Harm had worked on cases together and they spent evenings or weekends at one of their apartments preparing, discussing, developing strategies. She was developing a strong friendship with Sturgis and he was a good lawyer. But he wasn't Harm. But then, no one was, for her.

At the soft knock, she swung around and opened her eyes, to see the object of her thoughts standing in the doorway of her office. He smiled sympathetically. "Long day?"

"Yeah. Long week," she sighed.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just looking forward to the weekend."

"You have special plans?" Harm held his breath. Maybe she had something planned. He'd finally gotten his nerve up to do this and he didn't want to have to delay until another time.

"No .. just some time to relax before this trial next week. I haven't thought beyond that."

"How about taking your mind completely off the case and coming out to dinner with me tomorrow night?" Harm was proud of his light, off-hand delivery of the invitation while his stomach was fluttering.

Mac stared at him for a second, as though she were expecting a trick. "You mean … like a date?" she hoped she didn't sound as breathless as she felt.

"Yeah, like a date. I'll pick you up at 1900. Wear something nice."

"You don't have to pick me up. I can meet you somewhere." She wasn't thinking very clearly and said the first thing that came to her.

"This a date, remember? I'll pick you up tomorrow night." He flashed her his wonderful smile and was gone.

Mac sat for a few minutes, wondering what just happened. They had been in limbo for nearly a year. She had needed the time to come to terms with her broken engagement and the feelings awakened by Harm's brush with death. Harm had tried to get her to talk about things – ironic that he was usually the one ducking personal discussions – but she wasn't ready and managed to avoid him. Then he seemed to give up. When she finally started to find her equilibrium again, she was sad to realize that they probably had missed their chance once again. But it was just too complicated to pursue yet. Harm had been right about that. Any relationship between her and Harm beyond professional would be complicated.

Now what was happening? Was he actually taking the initiative? Her stomach fluttered and her heart was pounding. She hadn't felt this rush of excitement and nervousness about a date since … well, maybe never. She had missed all of those times in her teens. When she got married at 18, she drowned all feelings in alcohol. She had enjoyed Mic's persistent courtship but he hadn't made her feel the way she was feeling now.

She had intended to work for another couple of hours, but her concentration was all blown to hell now. Damn you, Harm, she thought, but was far from angry with him. She threw some files in her briefcase, grabbed her cover, and quickly left the office.

0600, Saturday

Mac's apartment

Georgetown

Mac had spent a restless night. Her mind wouldn't shut down. When she drifted to sleep, her dreams were filled with a certain tall Navy officer with the rich, expressive voice and flashing smile. Sometimes he was walking away from her, never to come back. She was crying and calling his name, but he didn't hear her. Other times he was holding her and kissing her and her world was exploding with joy.

She awoke from a particularly dark and disturbing dream, much of which she couldn't remember in detail. There was the image of cold, stormy seas and a profound sense of loss. She decided to get up rather than try to sleep again and chance another ugly dream.

Time to explore her wardrobe for tonight. She suspected that as soon as the stores were open, she would have to make a shopping trip for a dress. Nothing she owned seemed right. He said wear something nice. How like a man's description. She wished she knew where he was taking her. Still, the 'something nice' remark indicated a fancy restaurant of some kind. She didn't want to disappoint him. A quick inventory of her closet confirmed the need for a new dress, and shoes, of course. She would have loved to have another woman's opinion on the dress, but she hesitated to call Harriett. Mac wasn't sure where this was going, and her instincts were to keep this date to herself for now.

1630 EDT, Saturday

Mac's apartment

Georgetown

Mac juggled her packages as she opened her apartment door, struggled through it, and kicked it shut behind her. Heading through to her bedroom, she dumped her purchases on the bed and began unwrapping her new clothes. The dress was a deep rusty bonze silk, matching the red highlights in her hair. She held it up to her and remembered how it had clung to her body and flowed around her legs. The shoes had three-inch heels and were held on her feet by black, barely there straps. She seldom wore really high heels, both for comfort reasons and because she was already tall. But Harm was taller and even three-inch heels wouldn't rival his height.

The thought made her stop and contemplate the evening ahead. Her heart rate increased, her palms were sweating and she admitted to herself that she was nervous … nervous, for God's sake! She had known the man for six years. They had seen each other at their best and at their worst. They had been through hell together. Why did this feel so different? Because it is different, you idiot! Is he really going somewhere with this date? Is he at last ready to let go? Or did he ask you on the spur of the moment because you had had a tiring week? She asked herself all these questions but she had no answers. She told herself she shouldn't get her hopes up. It was probably just a spur of the moment invitation. She had to play it cool and not embarrass herself, like she had on the ferry in Sidney harbor.

She started to pace. It was only 1657. Two hours and 3 minutes until he came to pick her up. If she started to get ready now, she'd be way too early. So she paced. She looked out the window, thinking a run would help pass the time and work off some of her nervous energy. Lightening flickered in the clouds and she heard the distant thunder for the first time. Nuts, she thought. A little rain wouldn't stop her, but she didn't really want to be hit by lightening. I'll leave that to Harmon Rabb, she chuckled to herself, remembering a stolen kiss on the admiral's porch that had shocked her more than a lightening bolt. All right, girl, get a grip! This is just dinner. What's the big deal?

Stupid question, she chided herself, as she headed for the bathroom. Maybe a soak in the tub would help her unwind. She was about to start filling the tub when she realized that she needed action, not inaction. The hell with the storm! She'd run anyway – just keep a watchful eye on the weather.

Quickly changing to running shorts and tank top, she was out of the apartment door and running down the stairs. She hit the street at a good clip, heading for the park. She'd covered more than a mile when she felt her calf muscle begin to cramp. He's got you in a real tail spin, she scolded herself, as she realized she had neglected to do her normal stretching and warming up routine. Her muscle pulled into a knot in spite of her attempt to stretch it and she hobbled to a bench, grinding her teeth in pain. So much for her run. Finally, after several painful minutes rubbing and stretching the knotted muscle, it began to release. Mac took a deep breath and willed her muscles to relax. Finally, she got up and began her usual stretching. However, her calf muscle was too sore to run much further. She didn't want to let it tighten up on her, though, so she forced herself into a slow limping jog back to her apartment. Once there, she would take that tub soak in hopes that she could walk without flinching tonight.

After a long soak in hot water, two aspirin and more massage, the strained muscle felt almost back to normal. As she finished drying herself, a quick check of her internal clock told her she could at last begin dressing for the evening.

She forced herself not to rush too quickly so that she was ready only ten minutes before Harm was scheduled to arrive. He often was a little late for appointments so when she heard a knock on her door at 1858, she was impressed at his punctuality.

She opened the door and stepped back for him to enter. He was dressed in a conservative dark suit, dark gray tie and soft gray shirt. He was breath-takingly handsome, but she wasn't going to add to the size of his ego by letting him know that she could barely speak, just looking at him.

He, on the other hand, didn't try to hide his admiration of her appearance. His voice was unusually husky as he said, "Wow, that's the best definition of 'something nice' that I've ever seen. You look beautiful!"

She wished she had one of her usual witty responses, but could only murmur, "Thank you. I'll just get my wrap." She scooped a light-weight, matching silk cape from a chair a few steps away. Harm took it from her and expertly draped it over her shoulders. She picked up her small purse and said, "Ready."

His Vette was parked at the curb. There was a chill in the air so he had left the top up. Walking to the passenger side, he opened the door, offered his hand to assist her to enter the car, and made sure her skirt and cape were safely inside before carefully closing the door. He opened his own door and slid behind the wheel. As he glanced over at her, he saw her slightly bemused expression. "What?" he questioned. She just shook her head and didn't say anything. After a couple of seconds, the Vette rumbled to life and they were off.

Mac's bemused expression was because she was thinking how different it was to have Harm open the car door for her. Oh, she knew he could be the perfect gentleman. Yet most times when they got into vehicles, it wouldn't have entered either of their thoughts for Harm to open her door. They were working and they were equals. It wasn't that she felt inferior to have a man open her door. In this case, she just felt special.

Neither seemed inclined to talk as Harm found his way through Saturday evening traffic. When he pulled up in front of a new, very popular restaurant called Azure, she raised her eyebrows in surprise. The valet opened Mac's door and Harm came around to take her arm, dropping his keys in the attendant's hand.

The restaurant was crowded, the lobby filled with people waiting to be seated. Harm confidently guided her toward the maitre'd station. When the maitre'd caught sight of Harm and Mac, he bowed slightly, and said, "Commander Rabb, ma'am. Your table is ready. If you'll follow me, please."

As they were seated at a well-situated, quiet table along a window overlooking the Mall, Mac was very impressed. She shouldn't have been surprised at Harm's ability to get last-minute reservations at an extremely popular restaurant, and to be known by the maitre'd, but it just didn't occur to her that he would be so good at this kind of thing.

She finally looked at him and felt a familiar smile on her lips. "All right, I'm very impressed, Commander Rabb. This restaurant is lovely and I know it's very popular. How did you manage to get reservations?"

Harm smiled his wonderful smile and teased, "Just my power and influence in DC." At Mac's skeptical look, he relented. "All right. Frank, the maitre'd, is one of the guys I play basketball with most Saturdays at the Y."

"Well, I'm glad you know the right people." She glanced around and recognized several members of Congress and other high-level government officials. "I'm becoming more impressed every minute. We'd better order before I become so intimidated that I lose my appetite."

Harm chuckled. "That'll be the day."

"That I lose my appetite or that I'm intimidated by powerful politicians?"

"Either one – take your pick." Harm looked at her, his eyes filled with laughter and something more.

During dinner, they bantered and teased, much as they had in the old days. As they discussed several recent cases, they became more serious, but by mutual unspoken understanding, they moved back to more light-hearted topics.

As Mac finished her dessert, she leaned back, feeling mellow and contented and loved .. yes, loved. The thought skipped through her mind, but she couldn't dwell on it now. "Harm, I can't remember when I've enjoyed an evening so much. Thank you."

"Well, it's not over yet if you're up for a little action." There was a twinkle in Harm's eyes.

The remark could have several meanings, but Mac took it at face value and asked innocently, "What do you have in mind?"

"There happens to be a club right next door that has a band and a dance floor. Are you willing to risk it?"

Mac was only too happy to continue the evening. "Let's go, sailor."

As Harm had promised, next to the restaurant was a night club with a live dance band. They found a small table near the dance floor. The current song was lively and slightly old-fashioned. The dancers had many interpretations of how to dance to it. Harm and Mac took to the floor and found themselves in perfect rhythm. Though Mac had once teased Harm about his lack of dance skills, tonight she had no complaints. They moved to the music as though it were in their very soles. As the music slowed, Harm pulled Mac closer in his arms.

Harm closed his eyes as they moved to the music. The clean scent of her hair and the feel of her in his arms were intoxicating. He was finally here with her and it was wonderful. After all the nervousness and worry he had experienced since Friday afternoon, Harm could hardly believe the evening was going so well. Don't blow it now, sailor, he admonished himself. Don't move too fast.

But his body wasn't listening. It was involuntarily reacting to her closeness and his desire for her. Reluctantly he stepped slightly away so as not to give himself away and embarrass both of them. Luckily the song was ending and it was natural to go back to their table. The hour was growing late, and even though he wanted to go on holding her, he asked if she was ready to leave. At her smile and nod, he placed her cape on her shoulders, his fingers lingering just a bit.

They were quiet once again as Harm drove back towards Mac's apartment. For Mac's part, she was wondering what would happen when they got there. Her mind was torn apart at the moment. Just before the last song ended, she thought she felt evidence of Harm's desire for her. How far did she want this to go tonight? Things were moving too fast. It had been a wildly wonderful evening, but she desperately wanted to take this a step at a time. It would take some getting used to if her partner became her lover. As many times as she had dreamed of that very thing, it would complicate things for them. She would like to have more evenings like this first. Yet if he asked her, would she risk losing him if she said no? Would he think she was rejecting him? God, relationships were complicated!

Harm walked her to her door and waited for her to use her key to open it. As she started to lead the way in, Harm stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Mac, I .. I'm not going to come in … "

Mac turned to him and her eyes told him that she understood perfectly and it was okay. "That's probably a good idea." She said quietly, raising her hand so her fingers gently touched his cheek. "I had a fabulous time. Dare I hope that you'll ask me on a second date?"

"I definitely want a second date, Sarah." He said quietly. He hesitated. "Are you a girl that kisses on the first date?" he asked, with a teasing grin.

"Usually not …" she smiled happily, but as Harm started to back away, she added quickly, "but I sometimes make exceptions for military men." She stepped close and said softly, "Don't give up so easily, sailor."

Mac literally held her breath. She desperately wanted a real kiss with Harm, not one where he was seeing her as someone else or guiltily stepping over the line with an engaged woman. His arms slipped around her and he kissed her with tenderness and just enough passion to promise wonderful things to come. He stepped back and whispered, "Good night, Sarah."

Then he was gone and she turned to her dark apartment. She flipped on the light and leaned back against the door. This feeling was completely new to her. She hugged herself and couldn't stop smiling. She actually danced and skipped a bit and laughed out loud. 'You're losing it, Marine," she tried to tell herself. But there was no stopping this feeling. She was a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Marine Corps and she was as giddy as a teenager with her first crush. 'All right, indulge yourself this weekend, because come Monday, you'll have to suck it up and remain strictly professional at the office,' she admonished herself. She could do that. The Marines taught self-discipline and she had learned well. But when she was alone here in her home, she could let her thoughts range to all sorts of wonderful imaginings. Just reliving their kiss brought a delicious shiver of desire. God, but the man knew how to kiss!

She needed to do some work this weekend so she had to get some sleep. Her emotions were so high that she doubted that sleep would come anytime soon. After carefully removing her dress and hanging it away, she took a quick shower, hoping it would relax her. As she slid into bed, she realized her calf muscle was aching. Funny, she hadn't noticed it all evening, even while dancing. Well, she was probably high on endorphins all evening. Surprisingly, minutes after laying her head on her pillow, she felt herself drift towards sleep.

End Chapter 1