Sorry, everyone. I've been having a rough couple of weeks…Here you are.

That night, Xander and Willow spent the night at the Summers house. The three friends had talked about all the exciting things that had happened while they were separated. They were only away from each other for maybe two weeks, but it still felt like forever when your best friends were a couple hours away.

Around 1 in the morning, Xander had fallen asleep on the couch, and Willow went upstairs with Buffy, into her room, where she fell asleep on her bed as Buffy instructed her to do.

Buffy had tried to sleep many times, but she just couldn't. Thoughts of Spike ran through her mind so fast. Thoughts about what was going to happen when the Christmas season was over, when Spike was going to wake up, if he was going to wake up at all.

Morning came very slow, and Buffy wanted to just go see Spike. But it was Christmas morning. She couldn't abandon her family and friends like that. She didn't need her mother scolding her on a special day like this one. Might as well just be patient. She showered at around 4 in the morning and crept into her room, not wanting to wake Willow. Going to her dresser, she pulled out her undergarments and put them on, then took out a pair of red jeans that she owned, as well as a white sweater. When she was through brushing her long, golden hair, she headed downstairs and made herself some hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows. She sat out front on the porch to enjoy it.

Taking small sips, her mind wandered and wondered, wondered and wandered. It didn't stay in one place for very long. Too much she needed to think about. Way too much.

Not many hours later, when the sun was peeking out, painting the sky with magical colors, the rest of the house slowly came to life. Dawn was usually the first to run downstairs in the morning, full of excitement, but as she got older, there was no longer a need to do so. She now knew the presents that waited under the tree would not be going anywhere if she didn't run to them.

Dawn was not the first to wake. Joyce was. She headed downstairs in a long light blue nightgown, and went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. Never noticing that her older daughter was outside, she enjoyed her warm drink and then went upstairs to shower.

Willow, hearing the running water coming from the bathroom, awoke slowly. Sitting up, she yawned and stretched her body in an almost catlike manner. She changed her clothes, wearing a blue sweater that Joyce had always loved, and a fitting pair of blue jeans. The woman was a little depressed, though. Tara, her pride and joy, would not be seeing Willow for Christmas. Tara's father had ordered her to come home and spend it with her family. Willow just put on her smiley face when she realized that Buffy was not in the room. A worried look overcame her teacup face. Heading downstairs, she looked for her silently.

Xander, hearing Willow almost fall down the stairs, woke up abruptly, looking around. Rubbing his eyes, he stood up and stretched his body in an unattractive manner, cracking his back and his neck. Passing a hand through his hair, he looked at his best friend and smiled. "Happy Morning, Wills."

She looked at him, wrinkling her nose. "You still say 'Happy Morning' on Christmas."

"You're Tiny Jewish Santa. What am I supposed to say?"

That got her to giggle. Standing on the bottom step, she watched as the front door slowly opened and Buffy stepped inside.

Buffy blinked in surprise and looked from Willow to Xander. "Up so early?"

The male looked at his silver watch and then looked at Buffy. "It's 8. Not that early."

Willow gave a concerned look. "How long have you been out there?"

The blonde shrugged one shoulder. "A few hours…" She headed into the kitchen and set her cup inside the sink.

Xander and Willow exchanged a look of concern. They both knew she hadn't slept much, if at all. They realized right then that all Buffy wanted for Christmas was Spike. It made them both sad that they could do nothing at all to help him and nothing to make Buffy's wish come true.

Christmas had been amazing, for the most part. They all enjoyed cookies that Joyce baked and opened presents with a kind of childish amusement. All the gifts were perfect and everything was merry. Everything except Buffy, who was love sick and missing her Spike. Yes, her Spike. No one would tell her differently. Buffy's Christmas wish did not pan out.

Now, a week later, everything was almost back on track. Xander and Willow had gone home two days after Christmas, promising Buffy that they'd tell her job about the situation. Her boss would understand. Joyce was back to working on her gallery and Dawn was keeping happy at other friends houses. Spike was still not awake.

Buffy was upset. Her emotions were all wonky. She was slightly angry because no one was caring about Spike, which, of course, they were, but Buffy thought they were being selfish by not acknowledging her sick soul mate. And she was ticked off that she could do nothing but wait and cry and miss the sound of his voice. Miss the color of his eyes. Miss the healthier color of his skin.

There had been some complications. Spike kept getting fevers in his sleep. He'd start sweating and his heart would beat faster. It was almost as if he was stuck in a bad dream. That scared Buffy so much. A fever and faster heart rate while in a coma was not something that was good.

At the current moment in time, Buffy was sitting at Spike's unmoving, sweating side, watching him steadily. Her eyes were puffy from crying. Her hand was clamped around his. Glancing at the monitor, as she did every 5 seconds or so, she was relieved a little to see heart was starting to slow down again. Laying her head down at his side, she closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

Spike's hand slowly, very slowly, squeezed Buffy's. "Buffy…" He whispered in that sweet, seductive accent of his.

Buffy's head shot up and she looked at Spike, staring into his magical eyes. "Spike! Oh, Spike. I've missed you so much!" She stood up and hugged him gently.

"I've missed you too, love." Returning the embrace, he sighed with content. "You've been stayin' with me for a while, now. I's not healthy. Why don' you spend time with your mum and little sis?"

She held onto him as she spoke. "I wanted to wait for you. I love you, Spike. I wanted to be here when you got all better."

His eyes glittered with tears. "I love you too, Buffy. You're my hero. You're my heart. All I bloody dream about." Chuckling a little, he closed his eyes and sniffled. "But I'm not wo'th all the heartache I'm causin' you. You'll make yourself sick with all the stress you're puttin' yourself under."

"Yes. You are, Spike. You're worth it all." She kissed his cheek, then his lips very gently.

Spike returned the kiss, slowly deepening it more, showing her just how much he loved her. Then he slowly pulled away and brushed a strand of her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. "Please stop hurtin' for me. I'll be alright in time. If I go, I'll be goin' to a better place. One where I'm not a bum and who you are makes not a difference. I've seen it, Buffy. I've almost been there a few times. But I fight it. I don't want to go. You're my sunlight, Buffy. Brighter than the one that tries to tear me from you. The one that tries to drag me to heaven. I'm too weak to fight anymore. Be strong. For me."

Nodding, tears fell from her eyes. "If it means keeping you, I'll be strong."

"I love you, Buffy. Now wake up. Wake up, Mrs. Fierce…"

Buffy woke up and looked at the doctor, who was shaking her a little, telling her to wake up. Blinking, she stood up and looked at Spike. It was all a dream. But it was so clear. And she had her Spike back for that small portion of time. His voice was clear as day and his eyes still had that sparkle. A tear slid down her cheek, disappointed that he wasn't up yet.

The doctor asked her some questions about how she thought Spike was doing. He asked if there were any new things she saw. Any improvements. But her answers weren't very helpful. She was too busy thinking about her dream. She looked at her hand. Had he really squeezed her hand?

Buffy sat down again when the doctor left and stared at Spike. Then she started to sob really hard. It made her body tremble. She was so helpless. All she wanted was her Spike back. Was that so much to ask?

Apparently, it was. Buffy was crying. She was again hurting for Spike, even after dream Spike told her not to. He wanted her to be strong and she wasn't. Who could really blame her though?

Spike's body started to become hotter again. His fever rose maybe 3 degrees, making it now 104. Sweat slid off his body like the tears slid from Buffy's eyes. Buffy was Spike's heart and Buffy was breaking down. Spike's heart started to race faster.

She looked at the man before her, then looked at the small monitor again. In an instant, terror filled up inside her. Spike had never been so hot and his heart had never beat so fast. Wiping her eyes, she got up, trying to calm herself down. Taking deep breaths wasn't even working. She leaned against the wall and panted softly, putting a hand to her head, feeling dizzy. Buffy was too afraid to think. Her world started spinning and she slid down against the wall, crying some more. This was her ultimate breakdown.

Spike's heart started to beat harder and harder. It hurt from the physical pain and it ached for Buffy. His body became hotter. Everything was crazy! The monitor started to blip in warning. Then it all stopped. His fever dropped to 97.6 degrees. His heart flat lined.

x.x;;…I'm so bad. Look at this cliffy. Gah. I won't disappear for like two weeks again, I promise. Review as always…I could stop here.