A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story. I hope the last chapter pleases you.
Setting a Course
By Bernadeen
Summary: Harm decides it's time to move his relationship with Mac forward.
Chapter 3
0745 EDT, Monday
JAG HQ
Falls Church, VA
Mac had been in early to make sure she was organized for court this morning. It was almost time for morning briefing and Harm hadn't shown up. A quiver of worry touched her until she looked up to see him walking toward her office.
"Good morning, Colonel,' he said formally, but with a smile only for her. His back was toward the bullpen so no one else could see it.
Mac had to be more careful. With a quick glance to see where the other staff were, she kept her smile friendly but no more and returned his greeting, "Good morning, Commander. Ready for briefing?"
He stepped back and they walked together to the conference room. Mac and Sturgis updated the Admiral on their court case. Harm and Bud received a new case that would take them out of the office for some interviews and investigation.
After the briefing, Mac was in her office. Sturgis stopped in the doorway. "All set?" he asked.
Mac put her file and a legal pad into her briefcase, clicked it shut, but hesitated. It was too early to head for the court room. Sturgis was looking at her with a knowing twinkle in his dark eyes. She met his glance and wondered whether she was imaging things – he couldn't possibly know anything.
"Did you have a good weekend?" he asked benignly.
"Yes, fine." Mac answered, hoping the answer sounded like a routine response.
Sturgis continued to hover. Finally, he ventured, "Bobbi said she thought she saw you at that new restaurant, the Azure, on Saturday night – you and Harm ..?"
Mac schooled her face to show no reaction but her mind raced. Damn! She should have had an answer ready in case this happened. She and Harm knew a lot of people in Washington. She should have thought of this. She hoped she sounded casual when she answered, "Yes, we were there. It's a lovely restaurant. Did Bobbi enjoy it?"
"She really didn't comment on the restaurant .." Sturgis began.
Before he could say more, Mac picked up her briefcase and said, "We're due in court."
Sturgis raised his eyebrows in a questioning look, but followed her toward the court room without further comment.
When Mac stopped by her office at the end of the day in court, Harm and Bud hadn't returned. Disappointed at not being able to see Harm, she dialed his voicemail. "Harm, Sturgis said Bobbi Lathem saw us at the Azure on Saturday night. I said it was a lovely restaurant and asked whether Bobbi like it. That's about all the conversation we had. Just wanted you to know. .. see you tomorrow."
She had been about to ask him to call her, but decided that would be his decision. She hoped he would call – she wanted to hear his voice. 'You've really got it bad, Marine.' She smiled to herself. Glancing over her desk for any work she should take with her and deciding against it, she picked up her cover and headed for the elevators.
At home she fixed herself a light supper and pulled out a book she had been meaning to read. An hour later she was reclining on her couch, doing more thinking and daydreaming than reading, when the phone rang. Her caller ID told her it was the call she had been waiting for. She picked up the phone, "Hi, sailor," she couldn't suppress the warmth and eagerness in her tone.
Harm heard her welcoming voice and smiled. "How's my Marine?" he asked.
"Your Marine … I like that. And your Marine has had a long day and misses you."
"It has been a long day, mostly because I didn't see you much. I didn't think it would be this hard – being apart during the day. Ironically, it'll probably be even harder when we're both in the office all day and ignoring each other. And how will we handle it when we're sent on separate assignments out of town?"
"Harm, this is crazy. We've known each other six years and we're acting like new high school sweethearts."
Harm's rich, soft chuckle came clearly over the phone. "We are, aren't we? … By the way, thanks for the head's up on Sturgis and the restaurant question. I picked up my messages on the way back to the office. When I stopped by for a few minutes, Sturgis was still there and he asked me if I had fun Saturday night. If you hadn't tipped me, I know I'd have blown it. … What's with Sturgis, anyway? He seemed like he was already two jumps ahead of us .. like he knew something. I mean I know there's been office gossip about us for years, but as long as we were just friends, we could ignore it. But with Sturgis it seems more, somehow?"
Mac knew that Sturgis seemed to know more because he did know more. How could she explain her unplanned admission when she hadn't said the words to Harm yet? Hesitantly she said, "I think I can explain that, but not over the phone … and maybe not now. When we have some time together, I'll tell you. I promise."
"Mac, come on …?" Harm's voice was filled with curiosity and maybe a hint of jealousy.
'Oh, oh,' Mac thought to herself. She had never really seen Harm jealous. True, he hadn't liked Mic and in retrospect she realized that was probably because of her. Yet he had not let his emotions show. He'd had no right to be jealous then. Now, he probably had the right but no reason. She attempted to take control of the situation. Firmly she said, "Harm, it's nothing for you to worry about. I'll explain when we're together."
"I'll hold you to that, you know."
He was hurt. She could hear it in his voice. 'Oh, shit! Now what?' "I know you will." She said softly.
"Mac, why don't you come over tomorrow after work. I'll cook. I had something else in mind for our second date, so let's just call this friends getting together for a chat, okay?"
'He was back to calling her Mac. Damn! She had lost ground here, but at least he'd invited her over to his place. "I'll look forward to it. Thanks, Harm."
There was a note of reserve in his voice as he said, "Good night, Mac. See you tomorrow."
"Good night, Harm." After she replaced the receiver, she whispered, "I love you."
Tuesday
JAG HQ
Falls Church, VA
Mac and Harm were both working in the office all day. They weren't sharing cases so their paths didn't cross often. Consciously or unconsciously, they were avoiding contact. When they were in proximity to each other, they were cordial, yet restrained. Sturgis observed with interest. Maybe he had jumped to conclusions too quickly. None of the tension between these two had gone away; in fact, it seemed stronger than ever. Bobbi had said they seemed extremely pleased with each other's company last Saturday. Maybe she misread the signs. On the other hand, Bobbi was one of the most observant women he had ever met. She probably wasn't wrong about what she saw, but something had happened since then. Interesting …
At 1630 Mac felt that she couldn't stand it any longer. She had gotten all the work done she could and the tension between her and Harm had become almost visible. Although this was the official closing time for most government offices, many of the senior staff routinely worked longer. Today, however, she decided to call it quits. She debated about stopping by Harm's office to say good night and to see whether the invitation was still open. His office was empty, however, so Mac went back to hers and picked up the phone to leave a message on his voicemail. "Harm, I'm heading home. I hope the invitation to supper is still open. I'll see you at 1800. Bye."
Once home, Mac collapsed on her couch and sighed. Relationships were so hard. The right relationship needed hard work to sustain it. At least, that's what she assumed. She had never been in a "right" relationship so she was really no judge. And she realized she had no experience on how to make a good relationship work. What was happening was exactly what Harm had feared. The abyss between friendship and love was so wide and deep that they could fall into it and lose everything.
She got up, stripped off her uniform, took a quick shower and dressed in a soft Navy blue sweater and jeans. Her internal clock told her that by the time she navigated the tail end of rush hour traffic, she would arrive at Harm's apartment right on time.
1758 EDT, Tuesday
North of Union Station
Washington, DC
In front of Harm's door, Mac took a deep breath and knocked. He opened it wide to let her walk in. He flashed her his wonderful welcoming smile but his eyes were wary. More telling was the fact that he didn't touch her, but returned to his kitchen area to finish their meal.
"Food's ready. Have a seat and I'll bring it out." Harm efficiently placed the salad and pasta in serving bowls and carried them to the table. When they were seated, he put portions on each of their plates. For awhile they silently pushed the food around, neither having much appetite.
Suddenly Mac dropped her fork and stood up, walking away from the table to the window. "All right, let's get this cleared up." She said forcefully. "You started this ball rolling and I'll be damned if either of us will derail it this soon."
She swung around and walked back to stand in front of Harm in what he thought of as 'full Marine stance.' "One day while Sturgis and I were working on the murder in the park that I saw in my dream, he was quizzing me about the tension between you and me. I know he thought it was because of an affair gone bad. I told him I'd never slept with you. So he said that I should get over it and move on. I don't know what happened .. I must have been crazy that day .. but I told him that wouldn't work because I was in love with you. When I realized what I'd said, I made him promise never to tell anyone."
During this narrative, Mac had been staring past Harm's head at the wall across the room. Now she brought her eyes to his. "I didn't want to explain on the phone because I hadn't said the words to you yet." Her voice softened. "I wanted to be with you the first time I told you I loved you."
Mac watched with relief as the hurt and anger drained from his eyes. Other emotions flooded in .. happiness .. love. He reached for her, pulling her onto his lap so he could kiss her .. a kiss filled with joy and passion that left them both a bit breathless.
"I'm sorry I doubted you. I don't really know what I was thinking, but somehow I was jealous of Sturgis." He kissed her again, softly, tenderly, but with rising passion. His tongue sought access to her mouth and she opened for him, feeling a hot spike of desire flow down through her body. She finally broke the kiss and buried her face in his neck to try to slow the intensity of her desire. She inhaled the scent of him, so familiar from all the years of working together.
His hands on her arms drew her away from him so he could meet her eyes. "Sarah, I love you. I have for a long time, I think, but I didn't fully admit it to myself until the kiss on the admiral's porch. I was way out of line that night and I hated myself for it. But another part of me believed that it would be the only thing I would have to remember."
He slipped his hands under her sweater and caressed the bare skin of her back. Mac caught her breath and quivered at his touch. Harm gathered the ragged edges of his control and slid his hands away from dangerous places. "Sarah, we should stop now," he managed breathlessly.
"I don't want to stop. Harm, why did we wait so long? You were right about crossing the line between friends and lovers, but for all intents and purposes we've crossed that line. Why should we torture ourselves by denying what we both want?"
With a hint of laughter, Harm responded, "You make a persuasive argument, counselor." He slipped her off his lap, clasp her hand and led her toward the bedroom. At the doorway, he stopped. "Are you sure, Sarah?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
End