Love Song
By Dixxy
"Written in the Stars"

By the Green Dragon, I think I've made a mistake. Glenn sat up in Elliot's bed, starring down at his hands in disbelief. He sighed, looking around his lover's bedroom with a heavy heart. Closing his eyes, Glenn leaned up against the backboard, twisting the new gold band around his finger absently as he tried to figure out exactly what he was getting himself into.

The evening had begun like most of his other evenings with Elliot – up to his apartment, sex, then some quiet cuddle time, lather, rinse, repeat. But just as Glenn was ready to take his usual position for actual sleep (left side of the bed, his head on Elliot's shoulder, one arm across the other soldier's chest) about an hour earlier, Elliot got up.

"Elliot? Is something wrong?" he'd asked innocently enough.

Elliot shook his head, crawling back towards Glenn. "Of course not."

"Then where are you going?"

I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me, or speak of me, or wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago, so well

"I just need to get up for a second."

Glenn had pouted at the response as Elliot moved over to his dresser, occasionally looking over his shoulder with a devilish grin on his face. He was rummaging through the top drawer, humming something to himself. Glenn knew he'd heard the tune before, but he couldn't quite place it.

After the brief search was over, Elliot stood, one hand behind his back as he advanced towards the bed, still humming. Now Glenn was very confused – if he could only remember what that song was! Why couldn't he place it! He closed his eyes and clenched his fist in frustration.

"Glenn?"

"What are you humming! I know that I know this but-"

"Da, da, da-da, da, da, da-da, da, da, da-da-da, dat-da, dat, da, da."

And then Glenn recognized the song. "The. . . the wedding march?"

Elliot produced a small box from behind his back and opened it, revealing a gold band meant for his lover's finger. "Glenn. . . I can't exactly marry you. . . we both know that. . . but that doesn't mean we can't have, well, something. It could be just like a wedding. We could both wear our dress uniforms or fancy suits, and we can exchange some sort of vows for our friends and families and maybe even get rings. . . because I love you. And I don't even want to let you go. I intend to keep you by my side for all of eternity. Glenn. . . would you?"

Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand

Glenn hadn't hesitated to say yes, and instantly the two had found themselves tangled in each other once more in brief celebration. For a few minutes, the younger was estatic – Elliot really DID love him and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He was never going to have to be alone ever again.

And then, as Elliot drifted off to sleep, Glenn began to have second thoughts.

Forever. . . that is a long time, he thought. I love Elliot. . . but. . . the rest of my life is a long time. . . I am only a few months shy of seventeen. . . he thought. Can I really just settle down like this? Can I get, well, the gay equivalent of married, when I am only sixteen years old?

But there were other thoughts entering his mind. Elliot failed to realize that, for the most part, both of them were in the closet, and doing something like what he had in mind would mean confronting family members and friends. Glenn didn't really know how Dario felt about homosexuality, much less how he would feel about his baby brother announcing he was getting married to a man. And if Dario rejected him, well, Dario was all the family he had anymore. As it was Karsh barely tolerated the situation – he probably assumed that the young blond was just "experimenting" and would ultimately end up with some young woman later on (though Glenn was pretty sure he wasn't "experimenting"). Even the open-minded Zippa might've had a few reservations about the idea.

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

If I do this with Elliot, I might end up loosing everyone else I love, Glenn thought. Then what would happen? If everyone disapproved of the idea (which, to be all honest Glenn realized was something he'd never heard of before), then where would they go? He could picture Elliot taking him on a tiny boat and going to some small island in the middle of nowhere. Glenn couldn't help but suddenly cringe. He loved Elliot. . . but he wasn't so infatuated with him that he'd be able to stand seeing Elliot and ONLY Elliot for whatever remained of his lifetime.

Glenn looked down at the ring again. This is a mistake.

Is this God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

A yawn nearby announced that Elliot was waking up. Glenn froze in place, unsure of what he was going to do next. What do I do? What do I say? I, how can I tell him I don't want to do this anymore? After all the times we've made love and kissed, can I really just reject him like that?

Elliot was awake."Glenn?"

Nothing can be altered, oh, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no any place to hide
You are all I'll ever want but this I am denyin'
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts I wish I never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned

Glenn stared at his still half-asleep lover with a frown. "Elliot, I do not think I can do this."

"Wha?" Elliot asked with a yawn. "I don't get it."

"I am not ready for this."

"Ready for what?"

Hmm. . . he's still not as awake as I thought he was, Glenn thought. "Elliot, I love you but I do not think I am ready to settle down and marry you yet. I have been thinking and I am a little scared. I am not even seventeen yet." He rested his forehead on Elliot's shoulder. "I am afraid."

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

"Of what?" asked Elliot.

"Of what people will say."

"Screw 'em. We can take off and forget about them."

"I am afraid I do not want to do that," said Glenn. He frowned. "I do not think I could just leave Dario or Riddel or Karsh. . . they mean too much to. I love my brother and my friends – I do not think I could just take off on them and forget about them like that."

"What are you saying?" asked Elliot. He narrowed his eyes, seeming to get frustrated with his young lover. "What if they don't accept you? Glenn, no one loves you more than I do! If it comes down to just you and just me against the world I'm all for it! I'll never abandon you no matter what!"

"How can you say that?" Glenn said. He got up out of the bed and grabbed his pants. "I grew up with these people – Dario and I share the same blood! Everything I loved and hated about my childhood is with them! They are apart of my life and I can't just leave them just because you want to run off and get married!"

"So you'd rather spend the rest of your life lying to them about it?"

"I never said that!" said Glenn.

"You think you can just go on for the rest of your life convincing them you're not gay. You'd probably even marry some poor girl to use as false proof of which way the door swings. Is that what you want! Is that it?" said Elliot. He sat up and pointed an accusing finger at the younger Dragoon. "You're only lying to yourself, Glenn!"

"I know what I am and who I am!" Glenn yelled back. By this point their argument was escalating to a point that had never been reached in the relationship before. "I don't exactly see you running around proclaiming your preferences to the world, either! You don't understand – the world isn't ready for us yet and we can't do that to ourselves or our families!"

The screaming continued, each lover tearing the other lover down bit by bit, using words they thought they would never use against another person in their entire lives. Glenn found himself nearly fighting tears, desperately hoping that they wouldn't leave his eyes. He couldn't start crying now.

"Why am I wasting my time with a kid?" Elliot finally said. Glenn froze on the spot. "You're acting like a fucking baby. You're trying to cling to people who you don't even know are going to accept you for who you are – they're going to call you a freak or worse! Before you started on this I thought I loved you!"

Glenn stayed still as the words hit. "I thought I love you." Then, did that mean Elliot didn't love him anymore? Glenn fell to his knees, staring at the floor of Elliot's bedroom in shock. Suddenly, he couldn't remember any of the good times they had spent together. He couldn't remember what it felt like when they made love. He couldn't remember what Elliot's voice sounded like when he laughed or spoke kind words to him.

Elliot wasn't saying anything in his defense, but Glenn could sense his anger from across the room as the other man started to get dressed. Awkwardly, Glenn started to get up. He saw Elliot glance back at him in disgust. The younger swallowed. "I don't love you, either."

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

That was it. That was the final word that led to the full blown fight between Elliot and Glenn. Elliot launched himself across the room to where Glenn stood and brought him to the floor as the two exchanged physical blows, screaming and shouting obscenities at each other. Hair was pulled, lips were busted, and each had at least one black eye to sport for the next several days.

They stopped when both heard the sound of metal. Both stopped, froze, and saw the sword in the other's hand. The room was quiet for the next several moments and neither young man moved. Their anger had escalated to weapons. Fists and punches were one thing, but this would bring their fight to a life or death level.

Neither Elliot nor Glenn wanted to die.

Glenn was the first to his feet, shaking as he stared at the sword in his hand. "Elliot?"

"Yes, Glenn?"

"I. . . I do not think we should see each other any more."

Elliot closed his eyes, turned away from Glenn, and nodded.

"Then, we are in agreement."

Elliot nodded again.

Glenn quietly sat down and began to finish dressing. Elliot sat motionless on the floor, not looking at the young man with whom he had shared a bed for three months. The silence was eerie, and neither young man wanted to remain in it for very long. Once the last belt buckle had been fastened and his sword had been re-sheathed, Glenn stumbled towards the door.

"Good bye, Elliot."

Is this God's experiment God's experiment
In which we have no say In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise If only for a day
But only for a day

It was several hours later that the sound of someone knocking at the door woke Karsh from his sleep. Irritable, cranky, and not at all in the mood for company at two in the morning, the Deva muttered to himself as he padded to the door of his bedroom in Viper Manor, ready to tear apart the ignorant private who was probably standing outside his chambers.

Finally, he was at the door, the knocking still commencing. I don't get paid enough to baby-sit lonely privates who want to go back home to their mommies. I really don't. I'm a Deva, not somebody's God-damn mother! "Who is it?" he snapped as he flung the door open.

Karsh softened when he saw a disheveled, dripping-wet Glenn shuddering as he looked up at his long time friend. "I, I'm sorry to bother you, Karsh, but. . . can I please spend the night here? I know you don't like getting woken up at this hour, but no one woke up at the smithy and I don't want to spend tonight alone. . ." he said.

"Well, what about. . . that. . . uh. . . Elliot-"

And with that word, Glenn broke down and started to cry. Seeing that this was serious, Karsh led his friend inside and lit a candle. He held his best friend's younger brother as he sobbed into his shoulder. Though he had half a mind to yell at Glenn and tell him to be a man, well, somehow that didn't seem like a good idea in this situation. "What happened?"

"I was a virgin before I met him. . ." he said softly. "I loved him."

Karsh sighed. "Elliot dumped you?"

"I don't know."

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

The two friends stood in silence, Glenn continuing to cry over his break-up while Karsh wondered what he would do next. It didn't seem right to send him out now, nor did it seem right to yell at him. He'd had to handle it here and now. But first, he needed to get Glenn out of those wet clothes.

Wet?

"What happened to your clothes?"

"Rain."

"Really?"

"Uh, huh."

"Well, I think I can spare you an extra night shirt – if you don't get out of those you'll catch a cold and Dario will yell at me, all right?" Karsh walked away from Glenn to find said nightshirt. Glenn didn't move, and Karsh frowned. "You know, Glenn, I wasn't upset at you the day I found you and Elliot in the stable because you were gay."

Glenn didn't say anything, but Karsh could hear a slight shudder.

"I was pissed off because you're sixteen. You're too young to be sexually active and quite frankly I've been scared to death these past few weeks seeing you with him," he said. He finally found the nightshirt and handed it to Glenn, who was staring at him with blank eyes. "I don't care what you like, but I do care who you're with. I disapproved only because of how much older he is than you are and how old you are now."

"So you do not think I'm a freak?"

"Nah, not at all," said Karsh. "I've been dealing with gay Dragoons for a long time. I don't know why, but apparently I give off this 'come out of the closet to me' vibe that Dario and Zoah don't seem to give off at all. Riddel thinks it 'cute'. I find it a little irritating."

"Why?"

"Because it's the same thing every time – they all think they're weird freaks of nature just because they don't like women. I tell them all the same thing," he said. Glenn nodded, urging Karsh to go on. "With the way women complain about the stupidest things, sometimes I don't blame them for liking men."
"That's not the reason-"

"Yeah, I know, but it's a joke. It eases the tension and they're more liable to open up a bit," said Karsh. He sat down on the edge of his bed and continued. "I know I'm a bit of a hard-ass most of the time – I know it, you know it, Viper knows it, even that little lady with the flower cart knows it. But in a few cases I do listen to Dragoons – this is one of those few cases."

"What else do you listen to?"

"Well, a lot of guys come to me if they've gotten a girl in trouble, if they received word that a loved one has past away, or if they need an extra man to play volleyball against Zoah – and we both know playing against Zoah is a guaranteed loss without extra players," Karsh said. "You know I don't like listening to bleeding hearts who are just homesick, because that's one thing they have to get over by themselves. Stuff like this, though, well, it's my belief that you need someone to talk to."

Glenn looked at the nightshirt in his hands. "But you're not upset I'm gay?"

"Well, you're one less good looking young Dragoon I have to compete with over women."

Glenn couldn't help but laugh.

Is this God's experiment God's experiment
In which we have no say (In which we have no say)
In which we're given paradise (Given paradise)
But only for a day

As you all know by now, review responses are no longer allowed in postings - this means they will officially stop in this context, but I will probably use the "reply" button if you leave a review for me.

I will say that I am a LITTLE torn on whether or not to leave this where it is now. I could do another chapter or two that would put Elliot in the rebellion movement and Glenn's reaction to Elliot's "death". I really don't know if I want to do those things or not. They sound like fun. And it would give me a chance to do some more exploring of Elliot's character and how I'm going to use him for PoW (which I can't really work on right now for a variety of technical reasons - to my knowledge this is the only story that applies to and this problem will be fixed by the end of the month).

Just as another note, I ordered most of my major projects in order of importance and interest - if you're rading this, chances are you will be delighted to know that Thick as Thieves is at the top of my priority list because I have the next two chapters and a little beyond planned out. The next item on the list was End of Innocence, of which I have the next immediate chapter figured out but I'm having conflict with the rest of it. Beneath the Surface, my Zelda project, placed third. Age of Legends hit fourth or fifth (it was about the same importance as the Curtis saga). I don't think I remembered it at the time but the next few stories down the list included Swords and Swallows, this story, and Prisoners of War.

"But Dixxy, what about the one with Sonja and Genie? Didn't you have the next chapter written already?"

Honestly, that story is the LEAST of my worries. It has continuity, yes, but the plot isn't so pressing that it needs immediate attention. . . well. . . ever. It basically updates whenever I get the urge or a good idea as to how to torment Glenn using the Green summons (or torment the Summons with other Summons).

However, I will say this - right now I really, really want to work on this story - probably because it is so damned close to completion if not already. Plus it would probably help me out a lot with PoW and get that story finished. Then everything else gets done because that's two less projects on my mind to worry about finishing.

I'm done rambling for now - leave me lots of reviews!

Dixxy