Summary: Cats rule and dogs drool!

Crossover: Footrot Flats

Disclaimer: I don't own what other people do.

Feedback: (I don't write this part -- you do! Think of it as the audience participation aspect.)

Pre-fic Comments:

This has been floating through my head for awhile, ever since I mentioned the possibility and Danyel replied to /that/. Real life problems like customs and quarantines aren't in this fic.

Seven year old Xander yawned, rolling out of bed and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he wandered down the hallway to the small living room. While his family wasn't rich, or overly emotional, his parents did care for him. This always shone through on Christmas more than any other time of year.

"Merry Christmas," he called out.

"Mrrrph," his dad said from where he was lying back on the La-Z-Boy. The construction company he worked for was between jobs, at the moment.

"And a Happy New Year," his mum said from where she was sitting on the floor by the small Christmas tree. She had been working as a cleaner at the local high school, but had been fired recently without explanation. "There's a special present for you this year."

"Really," Xander asked. "Is it... a bottomless box of chocolate bars?"

Jessica laughed at that, picking up a black box with air holes and a red ribbon around it. "No. It's from Great-Aunt Dolly in New Zealand."

"Oh, okay," Xander said. The name was largely meaningless to him, as he had only met family who lived in North America. While the family was, by and large, poor, they always kept in touch with the more farflung members. If only, in some cases, to ensure that the other members didn't think they'd gotten the best of them.

He carefully pulled the ribbon loose, and the lid was pushed open by a white paw with a black spot on it, as a white kitten with black markings looked up at him with big green eyes, meowing piteously. Xander brushed a finger down the kitten's fur, eyes just as wide. The kitten spun in the box, little blanket twisting below it as it latched onto his finger with its small teeth, front claws hanging onto the finger.

"/Cool/" Xander breathed.

"I think he's hungry, dear," his Mum said. "Do you have a name?"

Xander frowned. "I don't know, what would be a good one?"

His Dad looked up from where he was reading the letter from Great Aunt Dolly. "Hahaha, her nephew wrote that the cat's father was called Horse because he said 'Flamin' Hell, he's as big as a horse!' when he first saw him."

Jessica frowned slightly at the language in front of Xander, who was grinning childishly at this.

Xander picked up the kitten just below his forepaws, looking him in the eyes. "I think you can be Horse too, then."

The kitten, now named Horse, began to scratch Xander's hands.

"Ow! Okay already, I'll get you some food!"

Three years later

A vampire pointed across the street at a white and black shadow that seemed larger than a normal cat that was sleeping in a box of broken glass. "You see that?"

The fledgeling vampire nodded, confused. "Yeah, it's a cat. So?"

"/Never, ever, go near that cat," the sire said. "Never. If it's ten seconds away from sunrise and that cat is in the only doorway into safety, break through the wall."

"What if it's made up of concrete cinderblocks," the fledge asked.

"Break through the wall."

The fledge snorted in disbelief. "It's just a damn' cat. You're being a scaredy-cat, and I'll prove it."

The fledge strode across the street, and his leg came down to give the cat a boot in the side.

Well, that was the plan.

In practice, his foot got about halfway there before a whirlwind of claws and fangs worked it's way up his leg and his torso before the newbie vampire dusted due to extreme trauma to the neck area.

The pack of hyena possessed students let themselves into the room with the cage containing Herbert, the porcine mascot for the Sunnydale High gridiron team.

"Let's do lunch," Xander said.

"What's that cat doing there," Heidi asked.

Horse growled, before leaping at all of them. One, he wasn't sharing the pig, two, they needed to learn who was top cat, and three, his human smelled funny and needed the stupid scratched out of him before he wound up like the Dog his father knew.

The Master looked steadily at Buffy, hypnotising her with his vampiric power. So close, he was almost free of his prison. He took off her leather jacket, letting it fall to the ground.

"You tried. It was noble of you. You heard the prophecy that I -- what the hell is that cat doing here!"

Buffy shook her head, shaking off the mind control as the Master cowered back.

Horse reaooowwwwwled.

The eight hundred year old Master vampire retreated a few more steps.

The massive white and black semi-house, semi-feral cat reaaaaooowwwwled some more. Drama pretty much demanded it.

"N-n-nice kitty," the Master stuttered, back smoking from where he was pressed against the stone cross.

Ten seconds later, Buffy stared at the cat with wide eyes. "Okay, you are getting the biggest bowl of cream in the history of cathood."

She went to pick Horse up.

Ten more seconds later, Horse strolled out under his own power, a shredded but still living Slayer on her ass back in the cave.