One bright cloudy day, Hermione was singing a joyous tune when a bomb fell on her head.

"Aaahhh!" She cried out with force and might.

"Hermione!" Ron and Harry flew through the air to the spot where Hermione was.

"Yes, I know my name." Hermione said indignantly, brushing corn off her skirt.

Harry sighed dejectedly and Ron put his foot in his ear.

"Hogwarts is under attack!" Neville ran through the corridor madly with corn trailing behind him. "Someone has hijacked the Hogwarts Express!"

"Aren't we s'posed to be on the Hogwarts Express?" Ron mumbled, sensing fear in his flaming red hair.

"I must be brave!" Harry declared passionately. "Or else J.K. will be bankrupt!"

"What the--" Hermione started before realizing that obscene language was not what her dear friends needed at the moment.

"Let's save Hogwarts!" Neville announced with verve.

"Yes, let's!" The other three agreed.

"Mwahahahaha..." A dark shadowy figure emerged from the shadows. "I am the evil Mr. Shadow and I will shadow your life with shadows!"

"He seems like a really cool guy!" Harry was so impressed he trembled with grittiness.

"No Harry! Don't go to the Dark Side!" Hermione gasped desperately.

"I must. To save the world." Harry's brows furrowed with concentration.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." Neville, Hermione and Ron, with arms outstretched in a dramatic fashion, moaned with glee.

Harry's face darkened. Mr. Shadow grinned with pleasure.

"You shall now be knowned as Farth Tater." Mr. Shadow announced seriously.

Alex complained that she drooled in her sleep.

Saruman appeared mystically. "Whoops, I'm not in this movie." He blushed, embarrassed to have made such a crude error in his attempt to be gallant.

Harry's limbs fell to the ground and he was a little midget. Mr. Shadow chuckled. Happily, I must say.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." Neville, Hermione and Ron, with arms outstretched in a dramatic fashion, moaned with glee.

And then Alex randomly ran across the screen.

"Shut up!" Hermione yelled even though Alex had not uttered a single word.

"I shall rule the world!" Harry aka Farth Tater loudly balked to the shocked crowd. "Down with you all! You taint my perfect perfection and now you must die!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." Neville, Hermione and Ron, with arms outstretched in a dramatic fashion, moaned with glee. Am I repeating myself?

And then Harry killed them all with a flick of his laser sword. He danced a slow waltz of compassion for his friendly beasts, when Hedwig landed silkily on his ear.

"Let's eat Cheetos." He said. And they all lived happily ever after.

The End