"What to you mean?" the second voice asked.
From the darkness, words came, new voices, familiar. "What about the green ones?"
"I don't know…I almost got in once…"
"What happened?" Images began to appear. Two bodies, intertwined, the fingers of one lazily tracing the arm of the other. They had just been physically intimate, or so their position and lack of clothing suggested.
The first speaker, brown-eyed, shrugged, "I don't know. One of the nurses came up and called to him. But, I thought he'd let me in after that. But…"
"But, he never did," the red-eyed one concluded.
"No," a sigh, "I wish he would. I know that…"
"He's hiding a lot."
"Yeah." The brown-eyed one shifted, "What about you?"
"He's never been open to me. His eyes were always closed, hardened."
"But, you let me in," the brown-eyed one stated, moving in and kissing the red-eyed on fully on the mouth, "and I'm so happy. I just wish…"
The kiss was returned, "So do I." The images and words faded as the intimacy between the two increased.
"You almost let him in. Why?" the first voice demanded.
"It's none of your business," the second voice shot out, angry.
Movement, the first moving closer, "It is my business. Why did you almost let him in?"
Green eyes dropped to the side, "He…he was willing to die for me, even though he didn't know me."
"Does he know you any better now?"
Green flashed with anger, coming up, "Of course he does!"
"It didn't sound like he did."
"Why does he want me, anyways? He's got…"
"They both want you, fool!"
"Why? They have each other!"
A heavy sigh, "Why don't you understand? I've told you before, many times..."
"'For one to be properly balanced, there needs to be three points of contact,'" the green-eyed one shot out, interrupting, "I know, you've told me over and over."
"And you still don't understand, do you?"
"Why one needs to be balanced? You've never told me that!"
"Because, you should know without being told. But, because you keep yourself closed, you cannot understand! Do I have to spell it out for you?"
"I wish you would so we could stop having these conversations."
"Insolent whelp!" Golden eyes now came into sight, blazing with anger. "You have closed yourself, even to me. For you to be balanced, for you to be happy, you need three points of contact. You need me, and those two. But, until you're willing to open yourself to us, we will continue with these conversations as often as needed until you admit that you need us!"
"They have each other, they don't need me!" Green eyes dropped, hiding any emotion that may have shown
"LIES!" the golden-eyed one roared, causing the other to wince back in pain. "You cannot lie to me. You should not try to lie to yourself. You heard what they said. They want you. They know something is missing and that it lies within you. Why do you continue with these stupid lies?"
"Why does my happiness matter?"
"Because," the voice was harsh. A pause, and then light began to glow in the encompassing darkness. "Because, if you are not happy, you will vanish."
The green eyed one could now see what stood for his body in this shadow realm. He was bound, heavy chains covering him. The golden eyed one stood across from him. Never before had he seen himself or the other. Gold eyes stood out against silver. He wondered why he'd never noticed the silver before. "What does it matter if I vanish? If I die, since that's what you mean?"
"Even still, even now knowing, you would lock me out? You would deny what you know to be? Explain this to me for I do not understand."
Green eyes came up, full of anger, emotion at last shown to someone else. "You took over my life! You gave me no choice! Why should I care if you die? Why should I care if I die? I HATE YOU! I hate you so much!" Sobs rose from the throat that flung out these words.
Gold eyes grew wide. Never before had he seen any emotion aside from irritation and apathy from the green eyes. Now, they swam in tears before him. "You obviously care about something or you wouldn't be so angry," his voice was softer than he'd ever spoken to the other with.
"I hate you," he sobbed, his body convulsing within the heavy bindings. Silver wrapped around the green-eyed one as he continued to sob, "I hate you. All I want is to be my own person, but I cannot do that. I cannot stand alone. I…I am afraid to die." This last was barely a whisper, barely heard, even by the sharp ears of the silver one.
"Then let me in."
"I'm afraid I'll lose myself."
"Isn't that happening anyway?" The silver one indicated the chains that bound the green-eyed one so much that his eyes were about all that was left of him. Gently, silver caressed the bound one, "You will not lose yourself if we join, if you join with them. You will be free."
"Why must I rely on others?"
"You're not relying on us. We are relying on you."
"I want to be on my own," he sobbed out, his body bending under the heavy weight.
"No one is ever truly on their own, Shuichi," the silver one said gently, speaking the captive's name for the first time ever.
"Why?" the green eyed one, Shuichi, cried out. "Why did you name me? Why? WHY? WHY can't you just leave me alone!"
"If you die, then so do I, and they will follow you, Shuichi. Is that what you want? Is that what you desire your life to become?" The voice continued gently, but the words were harsh, viciously cutting through the chained one, wounding him.
"No," he sobbed, "no, that's not what I want."
The silver one tightened around the bound one. "Tell me, Shuichi, tell me what you want."
"I'm afraid…" was the whispered answer, almost unheard.
Seeming to caress the bound one, the silver one asked, "What scares you?"
Green met gold, "What happens…I'm…I'm safe here, aren't I?" the voice seemed to indicate the chains.
"Only if you think being pulled down, drowning is safe."
"But…I know where I am here."
"You fear freedom?"
The green-eyed one collapsed, "Yes!"
Silver held the bound one a long time in this timeless place. Tears slowed and the green-eyed one calmed. "Youko?" he finally named the silver one.
"Shuichi," the Youko replied.
"I…I…I'm ready…I'm ready."
"What are you ready for?"
"You…you need me…"
"That's not good enough." Again, the voice was gentle, even though the words were harsh.
"I…I…I need to be free." The voice still held uncertainty.
"Are you sure, Shuichi?"
He took a deep breath before straightening where he knelt, or seemed to as much as a form with out a body can kneel, as much as his bindings would allow. "Yes," his voice less hesitant, "yes, I'm sure. Free me, please." Again, the voice sobbed.
Slowly, silver removed chains from the sobbing green eyes, revealing red around those green orbs. "Hush, little one. You won't be hurt."
"I'm afraid, Youko."
Silver nuzzled the revealed red, "It's okay to be afraid, Shuichi. Are you going to let that determine what you do, though?"
Sobbing, "I'm trying not to…help me, please."
"I will, my little one." Soft words, gentle bringing of red and silver together. Had they bodies here in this shadow realm, it would have been a kiss. For a long time, red was caressed by silver as silver pulled at the black bonds. Red seemed to try and fight the removal of the bonds and help remove them at the same time.
When the two separated, four points of restraint remained. "Why am I still bound?" the green-eyed Shuichi asked.
"Until you truly join with us, you will remain bound. We can each remove one binding, if you let us in."
"Why could you unwrap me?"
"I didn't, you did."
"I did?"
"Yes, you removed the wrappings by allowing yourself to be open to me. I can remove one more binding, if you let me in. The others must be removed by the other two and by yourself. That is the last one to be removed."
"Why can't I remove it now?"
"Are you prepared to let yourself in? Do you know the way?"
Green eyes studied the bindings a long moment of timelessness. "No…can you show me?" the voice was soft.
Silver enveloped red, "Yes, I can show you. But, you need them to show you as well. We all have different paths, my little one."
"Call me by my name, Youko," the red one asked.
"Are you ready to claim yourself, then?"
"Yes," the voice was soft.
"Then call your own name."
A pause while green and gold met. "I am SHUICHI!" he cried out, claiming his heritage, accepting his path.
Silver rippled over red, "I am YOUKO!" he cried out, reaffirming his connection to the green eyed one.
Red…Shuichi clung to Youko, pulling the silver body closer, "Free me, Youko, please."
Silver and red merged, pulsing, throbbing together. "Who are we? What is our name?"
Shuichi cried out, his voice bordering on pain as Youko moved within him. He could feel silver covering him, reaching toward one of the bindings. With a final surge, he cried out with Youko, "We are KURAMA!"
Silver and red lay together, spent by the energy demanded. The red one, Shuichi, slowly moved his now freed limb, caressing the silver one, Youko. "We are Kurama," he repeated softly.
"Yes, we are," the silver one agreed.
"Forever?"
"Yes, forever."
"Who will I be with them?"
"You will always be yourself. You will always be Shuichi, I will always be Youko, we will always be Kurama."
"Will I have a new name with them?"
"No. We have a new name because we share a body."
A distant noise pulled the red one away. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "but it's time."
The silver one moved, "I know. I will still be here. Trust them."
Red retreated from the shadows, "I will do my best."
Kurama blinked his eyes open, glaring at the buzzing alarm clock. It had been a strange dream and he wasn't ready to move. He wasn't fully aware of his body, yet either. He made a move to shut off the alarm, surprised to find his hand wrapped around his shaft, evidence of a recent orgasm on his hand. Quickly, he used his other hand to shut off the alarm while he stared at his soiled hand. He remembered it all. Was it a dream? He closed his eyes and he could see the shadow of gold and silver looking at him, waiting. Would he deny what had happened? A long time, green eyes regarded the hand. Finally he whispered, "You are Youko. I am Shuichi. We are Kurama." The silver one seemed to smile and he could feel an unnoticed tension leaving him. He smiled and got out of bed, looking into the mirror on his dresser. His eyes looked soft, tentative, open. He liked how they looked, not hardened like emeralds, but soft like clover. Clover suited him better. He smiled and prepared for the day, unsure what would happen next, only knowing that he had to continue what had begun in his sleep. He was afraid, and he could see that reflected back to him in the glass, but he was resolute, too. That resolution gave him a different look than before. Yes, it was hardened, but it was a different hardness. A flexible, open harness rather than the hardness of hiding his true self away…it was better.
A/N I don't own 'em That being said, I'm not really sure what else to say about this story. I asked a friend if I should trash it after having her read this, and she said no...I know its odd...and a bit surreal...and very expiremental...but...I've been told you like expiremental...I'm actually very nervous about posting this...I see it being about four chapters, and it's not going to be updated daily, simply because it's too difficult to write that fast. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going, but, the muse knows...he scares me at times. Anyways...please review, but don't flame...if you hated it, keep it to yourself.