Paulie walked into the classroom. He was going to introduce the kids to a very special guest speaker. He thought about how most places don't even have an organized school system and how he was glad to live in Water 7. He shook it off. The school brought him memories because it was the very same he attended, well long before he became Dock 1 Division Leader of the Galley-La Company. Memories of puppy love with the girls who wore elegant dresses. Not like now where all of them wear skimppy outfits showing off everything. A cough from outside the door brought him back to reality.

"Hey kids."

"Hi!" They all anwsered in unison. Some even knew hime because of their parents.

"I'm only here to show the guest where exatcly to go and here we are so I'm gonna leave now because I was only so busy when he forced me to take you here." He smiled back at the door. The kids had no clue who it was but it was obvious Paulie had a problem with him. "Here's Smokey!"

Smoker walked in followed by Master Chief Petty Officer Tashigi who was carrying a rare holo snail. He snarled at Paulie who brushed past him and looked at all the little kids. The little potentail pirates. He had to make sure that their futures styed where they needed to be and that was off the sea. It was his idea to do something about it but took Tashigi's suggestion to make what they were about to show. She was creative alright. A little clumsy, but creative non the lease.

"I have a special treat for you."

"Yeah what is it!" Anwsered a smart alec. Smoker felt the urge to smoke strike him but he held it back.

"A movie." Tashigi cut in, "Made by us for all of you." The class was in awe. Only a rare few got to see a movie. She set the holo snail in the back of the class. "Ready when you are Captain."

"Remember kids anything that happends in this movie can happen to you." He made sure to point around the class. "Roll'em"

King Anthony Writes a Marine Presents of a Smoker Presentation.

Pirate Madness

The screen opens up showing an old black and white grainy film. It's set at a small village harbor. There a small boy is seen walking along the board walk. He has on blue glasses and light pinkish hair. He walks past a man who has blonde hair fashion in a bowl cut. It looks as if is hair is a helmet. He also has a suave suit on.

"Yo, kid." The Seedy man started, "Where ya headed too?"

"My name is Koby and I'm going to learn how to become a carpenter so I can build boats just like my hero Tom."

"Ahh that corny mess. Listen kid I got something for you to hear. How'd you like to be a pirate?"

"No way man. That stuff is not for me. I like it here at home, living legally, with my swell girl."

"Girl! Let me tell you something. When you're a pirate you get all the girls you can take."

Koby hesitated before he replied, "It doesn't matter cause I won't be one anyway. The Marines are always after them because the justified Marines know that pirates are no good."

"Hmm… you got me there kid. Let me introduce myself. The name's Helmeppo. Hey let me show you something before you leave."

"Ok."

The scene changes to a medium sized pirate ship anchored in the town's harbor. The flag is a generic skull and crossbones. The ship is as generic as it comes. The entire crew is dancing around, stuffing themselves with food and just all-round partying. Helmeppo and Koby walk aboard. Koby is amazed.

"Wowee this is amazing! I never been to a party like this."

"Of course, you've never been a pirate." Helmeppo said smugly.

They walked thru the endless party. Helmeppo helped Koby to some Sea-Cow burgers that he mentioned came from Alabasta. Koby had a great time just being there. All the happiness must have been contagious. Helmeppo reached a door and walked in. Koby, unsure, followed him in.

"Arr, who be this that walks in uninvited, ya dig." A skinny man with heart shaped sunglasses and a weird beard asked while lying on a bed while being fed grapes by two succulent ladies.

"Captain Jango, this is a potential recruit." Helmeppo pushed Koby forward. "I'm showing him the life of a pirate show he can join our greatness."

"Arrrr, groovy man. Come here Kool Kat Koby."

Koby walked forward more as Jango sat up. Jango looked him over some and stroked his beard. Koby was nervous. He wasn't really sure he wanted to be a pirate, but they were all having so much fun. It made his whole life seem boring. There had to be some kind of difficult entering test to get in. He wasn't ready for all this. He started to think about his girl.

"Arrrgh, you're in."

"What! Really?"

"Welcome Kool Kat Koby to Jango's crew." Jango looked at Helmeppo, "Don't just stand Helmeppo show him how to really party. We leave tomorrow so make sure he enjoy himself, ya dig." Jango laid back down and Helmeppo and Koby rejoined the pirates. This time Koby was one of them. He was glad to be in.

The next day, bright and early, Helmeppo awaked Koby. He had forgotten how he found himself in the hammock. In fact the whole night was a blur. He stared squinty eyed at Helmeppo who still had his fancy suit on. Apparently it was his trademark or something.

"C'mon koby the siege is starting."

"Seige!"

"Yeah, captain's orders and we all follow captain's orders. We gotta mutilate this town before we go. Stealing everything we can and killing anybody that stands in out way."

"WHAT!"

"Calm down kid. You want to be one of us right. I mean last night it sure did look like it how you and Hina was making with the friendly."

"Hina!"

"Hina, is the most attractive lady on this ship and you don't remember! Even Captain Jango can't lay a finger on her and somehow she falls for you. Never mind all that we're late c'mon."

Helmeppo and Koby rushed out of the crew quarters. Koby's head was already spinning and when he reached the deck it even hurt more. The sun was a killer he thought. The entire crew was already up and Jango stood before them all. "ARRRRRGH! PARTY SIEGE TIME!" at that the crew started the raid. Koby ran with the crowd. He had to be the shortest one there next to Helmeppo. He felt he was going to be stepped on.

As he ran he was grabbed and pulled to the side. Shocked he looked up to see the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen. She had perfect light pink hair that felled down her perfect hourglass figure. Hey eyes… That deep red lipstick. She had a deep pink suit on that showed off her body better then anything. She had purple gloves over the hands of heaven. Her body was heaven. He wanted to be lost in heaven. Lost forever with no cares. He felt himself flying over the world. Nothing else mattered. He flew around the sun. His cares were all gone. His headache had no chance against this angel. South birds join him in his flight. He skimmed the vast ocean of the night sky. All was right in the world.

"Hey K, you be safe out there." She stroked his face once and ran off with the rest of the crew.

"You too Hina." He caught himself. Time froze once again. That heavenly body was Hina. And if what Helmeppo said was true… "I am a pirate! Nothing stands in my way!" He dashed off. Fueled by his love for Hina to be the best pirate ever!

The village was in crisis. Homes were put into flames. Shops were being robbed of everything and citizens were being killed left and right. Blood was everywhere. Koby was setting homes on fire as he ran down the dirt road. He laughed manically as people were being roasted alive. That was until he reached one house. He stopped dead in his tracks. It was his girl's home. His ex-girl he thought. He thought about how she would be hiding inside fearful to come outside. He readied his torch. He was a pirate now and she was old news.

"Koby!" A girl's voice, someone he knew. He spun around.

"Tashigi!" How dark blue hair waved in the heat of the flames. Her dark eyes. She had on a flower pattern button-upped shirt that he had given here some time ago for their anniversary… He felt as if they both were all alone.

"Oh my god! I was looking all around for you! We have to get out of here!" She noticed his torch, "Koby?"

"I'm sorry Tashigi… It's something I must do."

"No!" her voiced was filled with hatred. Not hatred in him but in his idea. "You don't have to do anything except be with me! You can drop that and run away with me."

"I'm sorry Tashigi! But-"

"Koby, I love you too much to let you go on like this"

"Love!"

"Yes, I love you Koby! From the first time we met… I knew you would be the man I would marry! I love you so much!"

"Tash…"

Before he could finish, he found himself in a passionate kiss. His emotions surged. He wrapped his arms around her soft body. He did love her. In their embraced the blocked out everything that was happening around them. He felt her shudder. He opened his eyes. Something was amiss. She was gasping for air. She whispered something and then closed her eyes. Her body fell limp. He leaped back in surprised letting her body fall. His hand was covered in blood. He looked at her still body. She had been shot in the back, just above where his hand had been.

"Arrrr, my aim is as good as ever"

"Jango!" Koby had never experienced so much rage in his life.

"Kool Kat Koby this is you're punishment for kissing my girl last night."

"Hina! Idiot she's not you're girl!"

"Well in the future she will be. That's beside the point! As punishment you must suffer the wrath of a loved lost!" He laughed. A huge sudden explosion near the harbor caught them both off guard. "My groovy ship!" Another crewman ran up to him.

"Sir, the Marines are here!"

"What! They can't be here so fast! They must've been in the area. Uncool…Maybe we can bribe 'em."

"Sir, it's Absolute Justice Smoker"

"Lieutenant Fullbody, order the man to charge the harbor! They destroy our ship so we'll take theirs!"

"Yes Captain Jango"

Jango turned back to Koby "Captain's orders kid. Get to that harbor and take the ship you can have that wench Hina. But first we gotta make it out of here."

"Hina…" His rage turned to sadness.

He stormed the harbor. His eyes were closed. It was too much pain for him to bear. He had loved Tashigi and had fallen in love with Hina. Now that she was dead… The pirate life was the only thing for him. He ran right into a pole.

"You ok kid." Koby opened his eyes. It wasn't a pole it was a marine, a marine with three cigars in his mouth. "We gathered information telling us the town had been evacuated already. You gotta get out of here before the stike starts."

"Strike?"

"This village is too far gone. Our ships are gonna destroy everything with a cannon ball strike. I suggest you come with me."

"Why are you here then" Koby couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Don't worry about me" He raised his arm and turned it to smoke "I'm covered." It had to be Smoker.

"Then don't worry about me either because I'm a pirate!"

Koby dashed off. He had to reach Hina. He couldn't let both his loves die in one day. He had seen her charging the harbor with others. It wouldn't matter because all the marines were still aboard their ship. Smoker must've taken a lifeboat to reach the shore.

"Hina!" He yelled with all his might. She turned towards him and started to run in his direction. He could hear the marine ships starting to fire. He had to get her to safety. He ran towards her as fast as he could. He extended his arm. She reached out to grab him. The last thing he heard was a whistling sound before it all went dark.

The kids were just starring at the screen. Smoker coughed to le let Tashigi know to cut the holo-snail off. He walked to the center of the class.

"Remember kids. A pirate life is not the way to be. Stay in your village and make something for yourself, or you could end up as bad as Koby here. Tashigi let's go. I believe they get the message." He walked out. Tashigi ran after him and tripped before she reached the door. The holo-snail went flying out and you could hear Smoker yelling in pain.

King Anthony: That's all she wrote folks

Judy: Not really we have a special bonus for you DVD in Writing. You get to read some extra features from Smoker's movie. Enjoy!

Smoker on Pirate Madness

Smoker: Kids these days believe that being a pirate is cool. We here in the Marines learned that the best way to stop pirates is to stop the source. We show kids the violent truth of being a pirate and problem solved. However doing this proved to be irksome. We needed to do something to catch the kids' attention. Tashigi made the suggestion and I brushed it off. Heh, about an hour later I thought about it some more and the more I liked it. So I took it to the uppers and they approved. They gave me a super small budget to let me get it done. I decided that I would be the best director for the movie so I took the leadership role. The first thing we had to do was cast the roles.

Smoker: I turned to an old friend of mines Captain Hina. She was overjoyed about the fact of doing a movie. She also gave us Jango and Fullbody to use. And while Fullbody only had a small part, we decided to use Jango as the captain. He kept moonwalking everywhere so we had to shoot him either just standing or laying. We went to Hina's home base and picked upped Koby and Helmeppo from Vice-Admiral Garp. Last but not least we used my Tashigi to play the role of the girlfriend. That's our full cast right there. They picked up acting pretty quickly. Tashigi was perfect. She was the actress that everyone had to keep up with. Even I was amazed.

Outtakes/Behind the Scenes Fun

Hina: Hey K, you be safe out there.

Koby: Will you marry me!

Jango: She's mine!

-

Helmeppo: I'm showing him the life of a pirate show he can join our greatness.

Jango: Fo-sizzle

-

Jango: As punishment you must suffer the wrath of a loved lost!

(Waits for explosion)

Smoker: Geesh, can't Nezumi get anything done right!

-

(Her body fell limp. He leaped back in surprised letting her body fall. His hand was covered in blood.)

Koby: Is this ketchup! (Tashigi starts laughing)

-

Koby: I'm sorry Tashigi! But-

Tashigi: Koby, I love you too much to let you go on like this

Koby: Love!

Tashigi: Yes, I love you Koby! From the first time we met… I knew you would be the man I would marry! I love you so much!

Koby: Tash… (Before he could finish, he found himself in a passionate kiss. His emotions surged. He wrapped his arms around her soft body. He did love her)

Smoker: Perfect! Cut, that first take really takes the cake. (They continue to kiss) Tashigi!

(Elsewhere but not to far)

Jango: Wow man, they're really going at it.

Helmeppo: I think Tashigi acted so well that they both think it's real.

Hina: Or it could be that it's her first kiss.

Jango/Fullbody: You're so smart Captain Hina! I'm sure that's it.

(Back to Koby and Tashigi)

Koby: Wow, that was amazing…

Tashigi: (blushing) Yeah…

Smoker: Cut it out you two!

Koby/Tashigi: Yes sir!

Pirates on Pirate Madness

Shanks: Do we really say arrrrgh that much!

Beckman: I'm surprised he didn't have a patch and a parrot.

Shanks: That's probably for the sequel.

Roux: I want a Sea-Cow burger from Alabasta.

Yassop: Shall we set sail captain!

Shanks: Arrrgh, to Alabasta! See, it just doesn't work.

-

Ussop: I should've played the captain. I would've been perfect.

Sanji: Hina! Oh that name brings happiness to my heart!

Zoro: Idiot…

Nami: Who made this pile of junk anyway?

Robin: It was written and directed by Smoker.

Toni: Why don't you say 'Arrrr' Luffy?

Luffy: Zzzzzzzz

Sanji: …Hey look meat.

Luffy: Where!

Ussop: Arrrrrggh

King Anthony: Seeya next Chapter people!

End Transmission