She didn't wonder where she was.
Wasn't that supposed to be the morning-after standard? You woke up and for a second couldn't remember where you were, who you were with, or how you'd gotten there?
She remembered. Not even the previous night, not at first. She remembered that waking up only felt like this when she was with one person, felt so right that she could have sworn it happened just like this yesterday morning, and the one before that, back and back without ceasing since the very first time.
That it hadn't was what took a moment or two to sink in. That years had passed between now and then, that by all rights she shouldn't be here. Shouldn't be, couldn't be...probably wasn't. With a sigh, she pushed her eyes open, and blinking the morning out of them tried to focus. Shades of white and tan swam in her vision, forming a pillow and a hand she vaguely recognized as her own.
Not alone, though. It lay nestled in another, much larger, one that absently stroked her fingers. Now she could feel the gesture; feel, too, a hard warmth under her neck. Slowly, slowly, she turned her head, following the arm to the sleeping figure it couldn't belong to, it couldn't...
Luka.
Now the memories rushed back, defying her to dismiss them as fragments of a dream. Seeking him out, so hounded by sadness and anger that she couldn't separate the two. Taking refuge in the anger, ranting as he stood there, and was terrified to hear her words suddenly catching on sobs. She didn't cry, not unless she was alone, certainly not in front of him, and she had to get away.
But before she could gather the will to do so he was holding her, with his eyes as well as the strength of his arms. He, too, looked uncertain, unsure, unable to stay the hands that rose to softly touch her face. As he bent, accommodating the familiar difference in their heights, she realized what was happening but couldn't move.
He breathed against her mouth a moment before he kissed her, a gasp or a sigh she wasn't sure. When the wake of dizzying sensation eased, they drew apart, staring at each other. Within them, sparks roared to a flame that took them over...
Now, she watched him sleep, calling herself every kind of a fool for coming here. And berating herself again for never wanting to go.
And later, much later, she turned to watch him walk away. Everything in her ached to call him back, though for what she wasn't even sure. Maybe to offer the hug they'd automatically moved in for, before remembering themselves and springing apart. But even as she drew in a deep breath, she knew it would be a mistake - just as going to him last night had been.
Granted, that had been a heart-poundingly, mind-shatteringly 'nice' mistake, but foolish all the same. She couldn't bring herself to be that reckless twice in as many days.
He was right. They were friends, after all...two good friends who could laugh this off as a rough night's stupidity.
She allowed her eyes a moment longer to follow him, as though despite everything he might look back. He didn't, of course, and finally she shook her head at herself and went inside.
A/n: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! (anonymous01, the song is 'I Still Long to Hold You' by Reba McEntire.) And hi to the rest of the stubborn Lubies, who kept up hope when it seemed like the writers would never go there again. This season has been quite a reward for that patience, hasn't it?