Lies and friends
By: K
A soft groan escapes my lips. My back hurts. How could it not? My claws ripped away skin. Blood had covered him.
I'm on my stomach. The wounds are taken care of. Madam Pomfrey was a great nurse. But still, it hurts. Even after the painkillers, it keeps on hurting me.
And to keep on lying to my friends. Not being able to tell them. That hurts the most.
But I know I can't. If they knew… I would lose the only friends I ever had. It is perhaps selfish and greedy, but I need them. I need my friends almost as much as I need oxygen. Without them… I don't know what would happen, but I'm almost sure that life would become an even bigger hell than it is already.
I close my eyes. Trying to think of something, everything except the pain.
Black hair, grey eyes. A laugh so soft. A voice as gentle as music.
No, I have to find something else to think of. Something less painful.
But I don't find anything.
'A rose. Try to think of a rose. Something that makes no sense. A beautiful rose. Red. My favourite.'
It works. The pain seems to be forgotten for one blissful moment. And I slumber in a light sleep.
I don't know for how long I slept, but suddenly I feel gentle hands on my back.
'Must be Madam Pomfrey who comes to clean the bandages…'
And yes, the bandages are taken of. A soft gasp escapes the person's lips. Gentle hands wipe away the blood.
No, these are not the hands of Madam Pomfrey. I have started to recognise the hands of the friendly nurse.
But then… Who?
I try to open my eyes. To see who it is. But I can't. The person, whoever he is, had to be terrified by the blood! Had to be disgusted by the scars on my back. He expects him or her to leave, but the person stays. One hand still resting on my back, the other on my shoulder. The careful hands replace the bandages.
So, there it was. One person who found out. Found out my terrible secret. And I still can't open my eyes to see who it is; that's the worst thing.
Well, guess I'll find out tomorrow, when whole the school knows it.
Out of the distance I hear the door open. Soft footsteps come closer to my bed.
The hands leave his back. And the two persons leave the room.
Unable to fight back the tiredness, I finally fall asleep.
- - - - - - -
What's going on? Why are they acting so… suspiciously? For lack of a better word…
It's like they're hiding something for me. Well, I suppose it's only fair. If they would know what I'm hiding from them…
Strange, actually, nobody seems to know what I really am… So, that person that entered almost a month ago, who saw everything. He, or she, hasn't told anyone. I can hardly imagine that any student here would not tell it. So, perhaps it was a professor…
I close my eyes. Stop thinking of it. Someone knows, but hasn't told anyone, so… Let it rest. Forget about it.
James and Sirius are sitting next to the fireplace. Close to each other. A mischievous grin on their faces. What are they up to? Clearly they're planning a prank. Probably for Snape.
They'd better not do anything to stupid. After all, they still got two detentions… With McGonagall.
- - - - - - - -
Next full moon is over three days… Keep on pretending. Keep on hiding.
I'm so tired of it. I want to tell somebody. Share it with someone.
Impossible. Think rational. Who would trust you than? Who would care for you than?
I close my eyes. Why? Why is life so damn hard? So difficult?
- - - - - - - - -
The same pain. The same helplessness.
Older wounds on my back have reopened, new ones are burning. The ointment is cooling. But it doesn't take the pain away…
And again I hear the door open. Soft steps coming closer. Again these gentle soft caring hands on my back. Who is this?
I try to open my eyes, but they're failing me. Again… All I see is a blackness. Typical.
I moan softly when I feel these hands gently massage the tensed up muscles of my shoulders and neck.
The bandages are taken off. New ones are carefully placed on.
The hands leave, and so does this person.
And finally I fall in a peaceful slumber. My dreams haunted by this strange, nameless angel.
- - - - - - - - -
I slowly wake up. Letting my eyes adjust to the bright light.
"He's waking up…" A soft voice. One I recognize, but from where?
"Is he okay?" Another soft voice. Also one I know…
Who are this?
Slowly I can see again. Black hair and grey eyes. Black hair and glasses.
"Sirius? James?" My voice is nothing but a hoarse whisper.
What are they doing here?
"Hey buddy, how are you?"
They're both smiling.
I try to smile back. No such luck. "I'm okay…"
And then it hits me. How did they know I was here? How long have they been here already? Have they seen my back?
No, they're still smiling. They wouldn't do that if they knew… If they saw…
Clearly the shock must have been clearly visible on my face, 'cause both of them suddenly frowned.
"Are you really okay?"
I just nod, unable to say something. I can see that you don't believe me.
"Does your back hurt badly?"
My eyes widen and I look at them. Fearful. They knew… How did they find out? Did they come here to hurt me even more?
"Hush. Take it easy Remmy. We know, yes, but we haven't told it to anyone. And we're not here to hurt you. You're our friend. Will always be. No matter what."
I can just stare at them. They know, and still they want to stay friends? Where's the logic in that? Nobody trusts a Werewolf. No one wants to stay friends with a Dark Creature like me.
Again they can clearly see my thoughts on my face.
"No, Remmy, we know you… You're not a Dark Creature…And you'll always stay our friend. No matter what everybody else may say… Beside, didn't we swear we would always be there for each other? Well Rem, the Marauders always keep there promises…"
I can do nothings else but to grin stupidly… James and Sirius always have that effect…
And suddenly Sirius' arms are around me. Hugging me close, his hands carefully rubbing my back. I start to relax. I know that touch.
"So, it was you last full moon, and yesterday again…"
My voice is nothing more but a mere whisper. I feel you nod against my shoulder. And I smile. A true smile.
They won't leave me. I don't have to lie anymore.
They know, and I feel so much better.
I'll never be alone. Not with such friends. Never alone.
I swear, the feeling I have now, it must be heaven, 'cause on earth, it's impossible to feel this good, so loved. Certainly not when you're a Werewolf…
-Owari-
K: Well, that was it. Tell me what you think of it... : )
Oh and Lily, thanx for beta'ing : )