AN: TYPE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER TYPED BEFORE! I have exams. And I'm writing this trash when I should be studying. Damn you, procrastination...WHY DO YOU TAUNT ME SO! Also, I have a bone to pick with It seems to be editing some of the punctuation in my chapters. I can't do asterisks for section division, nor can I accentuate my question marks with exclamation marks. Boing?
ANv2: Exams are over. Still typing, haha. Anyway, I would like to say that I'm following some of the manga to extract characters, so yeah.
Chapter 2: I beg your pardon? Love Style?
"Damn..." Gaara went to W4eva headquarters as requested. He was currently standing outside the building dumbstruck. It was one of those huge buildings that are placed in the city, only you never really notice it was there, no matter how hip and stylish it looked. And so while Gaara may have walked past this building many times, this was the first time he actually noticed it. In awe.
"So..." Gaara paused. Personality wise, he's a man of few words, just a great bluffer. "...erm...large." He was trying to say "such a graceful blend of contemporary and postmodern style with the classic look to give that sophisticated and bold feel." Only Shukaku knew what he really meant.
No wonder you don't have a girlfriend...you never say what you really feel.
Since when did you give me quality advice! Shukaku had nothing else to say. Gaara strode calmly into the building, and went straight to the reception desk. A pretty receptionist welcomed him.
"Hi, how are you today? Do you have an appointment? Or are you here for the tour at 11am...which you are exactly one hour and fifteen minutes early for!" Then she giggled uncontrollably. Gaara blinked twice, bewildered. He wasn't allowed a chance to answer any of those questions. He returned to looking indifferent.
"Hmph. I am Sabaku no Gaara. I have an appointment at 10 am. I am your new Love Advice columnist. I don't have all day. So why don't you grab that receiver, and tell them I'm here, and I don't care if they're busy or anything." Gaara said coldly. The receptionist whimpered. His icy pale green eyes pierced murderously into her. Shukaku sighed.
And when you say too much, you usually make the other person piss their pants...
Shut up, before I make you piss your pants.
Technically, that would be you then. I can't physically piss unless you do it for me.
"O-O-Okay...I'll send y-y-you up, n-n-now, I'm sure he won't mind..." She grabbed the telephone receiver for dear life. "This is the front desk. Replacement for Nina, is here, wants to go in early...tell the boss..." she placed the receiver down, hyperventilating. Gaara gave a her a fake concerned look, smiling complacently.
"There...see? That wasn't too hard. Now tell me where to go."
"Top floor, the entire top floor is the head office. Take the elevator."
"Have a nice day." And Gaara left for the elevators, swearing he heard the poor blubbering receptionist muttering "...I hope the boss kills you..." which wasn't a good thing to hear, but he was Gaara, and so he didn't care. He managed to get a whole elevator to himself, and went straight to the top floor. As the elevator doors opened, Gaara felt danger approach. It came in the form of a flying black double binder folder, heading straight for his head. Fortunately, Gaara's gourd was still functional, and a large sand shell prevented the folder from slapping him in the face. Then he heard a cold deep, yet quiet voice saying:
"Get. The hell. Out of here." The poor victim ran for the elevator, which Gaara has already exited, and pressed the ground floor button repeated to save his skin. Gaara then looked at scary man with long black hair, tied up, creases beneath dark red eyes with...wait a second...
"Uchiha Itachi. Don't tell me..."
"Sabaku no Gaara. Welcome to W4eva corporations. I am the head of corporation. I see you look shocked." So that's why the receptionist wishes for my death under this man's hand...because he's capable of doing so! Funny enough, he wasn't faltered. Maybe something about Itachi made him believe that this man was capable of running a women's magazine company. Was it because he was fruity? No...Uchiha Sasuke was fruity compared to this man. Itachi walked over to the end a large rectangular conference desk in the middle of the room. Now that Gaara was able to look at the room, he discovered that it was the whole floor, minus the black translucent wall that seemed to divide the room from Itachi's facilities/actual office, which Gaara decided looked more stylish than an office...it even had a fridge and a minibar and a bathroom. Can't have a huge office without a bathroom, at least. Itachi sat down into his boss chair. He directed Gaara's eyes over to the chair closest to Itachi, left side of the desk.
"Please, Gaara. Sit down." So many years have passed...and this is what happens. The world is strange, indeed. Gaara walked over to that seat, took off his gourd, and sat down.
"Your scout came. I accepted. Get down to details." Gaara said gruffly. Itachi gave a hearty laugh.
"Direct! I like that in an employee!" He continued. "Well, you'll be filling the empty space left by a very, very stupid woman. I personally flung her into the elevator and pushed the buttons so she can get her miserable presence away from me." Itachi smiled sadistically. Gaara didn't react. He himself was like this. "In fact, I've replaced this position so many times in one year, I've lost count of how many people I've flung. Your job will be as Love Advice columnist, though technically, you're not writing a column, you'll be getting one to two pages to yourself to write trash, depending on how good the requests will be. Do a good job, and I'll reward you with lots of money and my respect. Do a poor job, and I'll throw you out of this window and make sure that the sand won't save you. And if you don't splatter your blood, flesh and bones properly on contact with the ground, I'll throw you again."
"Filling this position must be driving you insane." Gaara remarked calmly.
"You have no idea." Itachi stood up and walked around his chair. "Anyway, back with the details. There was meant to be a meeting at ten for you to meet the others and we'll brainstorm your section, but since you came early, I'll discuss some things with you. Firstly, lose the eye shadow."
"Pardon me, but this isn't eye shadow. These are dark circles from lack of sleep. Actually, from having no sleep. I'm an extreme insomniac. I don't need sleep anymore. I can answer those stupid letters requesting for advice during the night if I wanted to."
"Excellent on the work comment. Tough luck for me on the eye shadow. I would ask you to go get cosmetic surgery to get them removed, but only bad news come from those who surgically lightened their skin." Itachi shuddered. "Alright, something easier. Lose the gourd." Gaara was shocked.
"I...I can't do that!" His gourd was (almost) his life. It provided easy access to sand. And lots of it. How the heck was he going to do his shinobi work? And his deceased mother would be mighty fine pissed off.
"It's large and ugly and bulky and it's going to give you back problems in your future. And it'll contribute poorly to your image."
"My image? What's writing a column, well, one to two pages, got to do with my image!"
"You're young, and...er..." Itachi didn't want to say good looking. We'll fix that. "...intelligent looking." Itachi emphasised "intelligent". Gaara remained indifferent at the comment deflecting the subject of his looks. Itachi continued. "And you have dark red hair. It would be good to have your face somewhere in this piece of drudgery once in a while. We do that with a lot of our good looking or charismatic workers."
"Hah. Suddenly I'm charismatic." Gaara said cynically. Shukaku, however, was quaking in urgency.
Don't let him take away the gourd. My livelihood depends on it!
Shut up, as if I'll let him...wait...
Heck no. I know what you're thinking...! Gaara realised that losing the gourd means Shukaku will be very, very, heartbroken. For whatever reason, it was lost on Gaara. He wanted revenge. It was all Shukaku's fault he wrote those letters. Just taking up the position is not enough.
"You know..." Gaara started, pretending to look deep in thought, which didn't work as it just looked like his normal face. "I think I might lose the gourd. It's quite heavy to carry around, I think it's only useful to have during missions, anyway..."
"Good, now we're getting somewhere." Itachi continued to pace around. "I think we'll keep your fashion sense, it's not at all bad for a Goth, and it'll add diversity to the magazine..." Gaara gave him an unimpressed look.
"You're very funny." He commented sarcastically. Itachi grinned admiringly.
"That's why you're so great! You're definitely my type of worker! You've got guts!" Itachi said excitedly. Gaara raised an eyebrow (his sand shell covers his brows) in confusion.
"Huh?"
"You're like me! We don't take shit from others. We're arseholes! Hurrah for arseholes!" Itachi punched the air with pride. Gaara gave him a blank stare. Was Itachi always like this? Gaara always thought of him emotionless...well that's what Naruto said. Sure, everyone knew Itachi was an "arsehole", but they didn't know that he was so openly proud of it. Interesting...
"Ah...look, it's 10am...time for the meeting." Itachi announced, and suddenly, the elevator beeped, its door sliding open, revealing a mass of people squished in it. Gaara couldn't hold back his gasps. He knew those people. Itachi went over to them, as they exited the lift.
"Hatake Kakashi and Yuuhi Kurenai are our co-editors, even though I have the last word. They're the one's who write the editor's notes and get the name plastered all over the magazine, I'm a 'secret editor'. And Kakashi...aren't you a bit TOO early today?"
"I am?" Kakashi checked his watch. "I thought the meeting stared at nine...NO! I mean, I'm extra punctual today."
"Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka..." Gaara croaked. It was Naruto's teacher, Kakashi-sensei...what the hell was he doing being co-editor?
"Umuino Iruka and Ebisu are our proof readers and quality checkers. Jiraiya-sama is our most popular fiction section writer, because he writes the soppiest, dirtiest, most pathetic Mills and Boon I've ever read. Shizune is our resident health expert, you might have to talk with her about some of your advice, in case it contradicts with health and crap." Itachi introduced. Then one of his veins began to pulse. "But two important bastards are missing!"
"You have a lot of men working for you..."
"Actually, that's just for behind the scenes business, most of our writers are actually women." Itachi explained. "Now where are those two sons of a bitch..." Suddenly, the elevator beeped again, revealing to more people. Gaara froze, and almost blew a blood vessel. Itachi looked just as angry.
"YOU TWO ARE LATE! FRIGGIN' KAKASHI IS EARLIER THAN THE BOTH OF YOU!" He shouted at them. Then he turned to Gaara. "These two idiots are our art directors-"
"DEIDARA AND SASORI! I'LL KILL YOU!" Gaara shouted. "SABAKUKYU!" Desert Coffin The two who (almost) killed Gaara were employed by Itachi. Which was expected, considering their origins...
"HE'S GONNA KILL US! WE'VE GONE CLEAN! Sasori waved his arms frantically, his young face putting on the most innocent look possible, before the sand restricted his arms from moving.
"Well...after what we've done to him, showing him our art, it's expected, yeah." Deidara remarked, completely covered in sand, his hand eating its way out. Itachi shook his head.
"Gaara...those two are going to be working on your page design...so I think it's a good idea to let them go..."
"No."
"Oh no, we're perfectly fine here, yeah. Apart from the restriction of blood flow, and the stiffening of the muscles, it's quite comfortable and good for my posture, I'm sure Shizune-san can do something about the bloodclots later, yeah. Anyway, now we look like works of art...sand statues." Deidara said. His hand broke though the sand, and coughed out a piece of paper with scrawls all over it. "This is all we need, it has all the ideas, yeah."
"I'm not comfortable..." Sasori complained with a bored look on his face. "Why don't you let us go? We both came from the Suna village, we're practically like family!"
"Leave our origins out of this." Gaara muttered threateningly. Itachi glared furiously at those two.
"Be quiet! Be like Deidara and get used to it, Sasori, you're practically a grown man (though with boyish looks). And Gaara, the meeting goddamn started already." Itachi went to his boss seat. "Everyone, take your places." He sat down as everyone sat down. "Firstly, and most importantly, is that Gaara's section must have a new name. It shall not and will not be called 'Ask Nina', for reasons too obvious to be said."
"How about just stick with 'Ask Gaara'?' Ebisu suggested, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. Itachi almost threw a book at him.
"How about...NO! The boy's nineteen! As if we'll give him something so corny! I need something more hip..."
"We have some ideas, yeah..." Deidara started, only to be rudely interrupted by Itachi.
"Hell no, after you suggested to make the magazines explosive, and Sasori walking around as an ugly brute with a puppet's tail, we only want your suggestions when desperate. Just shut up and stick with designing pages."
"How about 'Love with Gaara'?" Shizune started. Itachi glared.
"Even your medical skills won't save you."
"Come Come Gaara's Paradise?" Kakashi.
"You're taking copying too seriously there."
"Love4eva?" Kurenai.
"Wanna die?"
"Sleep with Gaara!" Jiraiya.
"Get out."
"I don't get a say in this, now, do I?" Gaara questioned. Iruka laughed uneasily.
"Hmm...you don't. Especially if Itachi has his mind fixed on an idea. But Itachi's gut feeling is usually right anyway." Iruka answered. Deidara waved his only free hand up and down, waving his paper.
"Hey! Look at me! We have sane ideas! Look at the paper! We have only one title suggestion! Hear it and we'll shut up, yeah!"
"What he said." Sasori piped in, smiling, while looking lethargic. Deidara tried to position his hand to read the note.
"Erm...Sasori...I seem to have forgotten which one we concluded with, can you read-"
"Can't see it."
"Okay...Shizune-san, may you help me read this please, yeah?" Deidara asked politely in a good natured manner. Shizune sighed and took the paper from his freakish hand.
"They suggested 'Love Style'." she read. Itachi scratched his chin.
"Love Style?"
"Yeah! Love Style, cos it doesn't mention Gaara's name at all! It reduces corniness (slightly), and if Gaara gets killed...or worse of all, fired, then we can still use it for the next person, yeah!" Deidara explained. Sasori was taking a nap. Itachi frowned. He turned to Gaara.
"Tighten your grip on Sasori and wake him up."
"With pleasure."
"Eep!"
"Love Style..." Kurenai began, ignoring Sasori's angry cries in the background, resting her chin in her hands, leaning on the table, red eyes deep in thought. "It's a pun! It can also mean love style as is 'I love style' with 'love' as a verb, as well as style describing love! I like it!" Deidara's face gleamed.
"Finally! Someone who appreciates true art, yeah!"
"It certainly is bold, and has an implication on fashion with the word 'style'..." Kakashi added.
"Less corny, that's for sure, more hip than the other suggestions and all names we had so far..." Ebisu remarked.
"Alright! Let's go with 'Love Style' then! Good work, Deidara, Sasori." concluded their permemantly Sharingan-ed boss. Gaara couldn't believe the result.
"I beg your pardon? Love Style? Am I the only one who thinks this is stupid?" Gaara asked, slightly offended. Itachi glared menacingly at his directing, his Sharingan reading for action. Gaara sighed in defeat. "I'll take that as a yes." Iruka gave a small smile, amused.
"As I said, when Itachi's got his mind fixed, there's no changing it. Anyway, it's much better than the other suggestions...like Jiraiya's..."
Sucked in. You're going to be writing 'Love Style'...
And you'll be watching me do it.
Urgh...that's sick! Gaara was definitely confused at Shukaku's last remark.
What's sick? Seeing he got no response, Gaara ignored Shukaku and returned his attention to those with physical bodies.
"Damn, I'll have to live with it." Gaara groaned.
"Precisely. Now, I'll get one of my employees to show you to your new office, and you'll organise sometime with Deidara and Sasori for your page designs...Kakashi or Kurenai will set your deadlines after you've settled and we get everything started..." Itachi buzzed one of his secretaries to get someone up to show Gaara around, threatening his secretaries as usual. "Someone will meet you downstairs, Gaara, just wait for him or her. Alright! Dismissed!" Everyone stood up and left, except for Deidara and Sasori, who were still Sabakukyu-ed. Gaara, reluctantly let them go. He was still furious...now with added flames as they named his column so horribly.
"Gaara, wait just a moment." Itachi stopped Gaara. "I need you to fill in a form for employment, and to discuss issues of payment."
"Alright." Gaara walked over. Itachi gave him a form, with official details that need to be filled in, with one already filled in. Agreed wage. Gaara's mental jaw dropped. His exterior was composed, but only just. It was a nice figure.
"Considering W4eva gets good sales, I tend to pay higher initial wages to my employees as a boost on self-esteem and morale. I hope you find this sum quite to your taste?" Heck yeah! But like hell Gaara was going to say that out loud.
"Yes, it is quite a decent sum. Do I fill in the rest now?"
"Take your time, just remember, if you don't hand it in ASAP to one of my assistants, you won't get paid even if you wrote shit loads of replies, and I don't think you're the type to do charity work for magazines..."
"You'll get it tomorrow." He was getting paid more than he did as a high rank shinobi...no wonder Itachi chose to run a magazine company. Maybe this job wasn't so bad after all...
To be continued...with next chapter, of course.
AN: Finally, a completed, yet not a powerful chapter. Oh well, at least Gaara's employed. Itachi is boss haha, I couldn't help myself...I had no control of my fingers. He's out of character mainly to suit his role, but he's still got (or should have) his sadistic touch. And now you know why this story's called "Love Styled Cold Style" it's mucking about with Gaara's coldness and his section name. I attempted to proof read this...but it's so late at night...I just skimmed it. More chappies soon