Disclaimer – Don't own, seriously, I know it's difficult to believe
Summary – They had both underestimated the lengths Rodney McKay would go to in order to protect his sister
Rating - PG-13 – Child abuse mentioned, not physical not graphic
Not AloneShe could remember a time before this, before everything she did was wrong.
He'd changed since…
He didn't seem to realise that they missed her too, didn't seem to realise that all they were were scared children who just needed their daddy to take care of them, especially now.
It wasn't that he hated her, she knew that, it was because she was bad and needed to learn what she was allowed and wasn't allowed to do.
And then there was the fact that every time he looked at her he could see her mother.
The one who had run away because she didn't want them anymore.
The one she'd made go away.
He'd never said so but she knew it was true, he'd always told stories of how happy they'd been before.
The 'before you' was always left unsaid but that didn't matter.
She might be bad but she wasn't stupid.
He hadn't left marks, not even when she'd scratched and had hurt him, he'd always been nice, he'd never bruised her or even made the skin turn red.
He was always so kind, even when she was bad.
Explaining in nice, simple terms as he'd gently and carefully manoeuvred her inside exactly why she couldn't tell her brother about this.
And she had understood, understood that sometimes it was easier just not to look at her.
She looked more like her mother everyday, more so now she had grown up a bit.
But then her brother had come home early one day and had let her out and from then on it had never happened to her again.
Next day their father had a split lip and a black eye and she realised that both of them had underestimated the lengths eight year old Rodney McKay would go to for his baby sister.
Though she still can't remember a time she wasn't scared of the dark.
Because even now she knows what it means, didn't know at first, just knew she was spending more time at friends' houses than usual.
Then she'd realised, she hadn't even known why just had known with a sick clarity exactly why he had stopped, why her brother was so quiet all of a sudden, why she hadn't been seeing him as much lately… just why.
Rodney McKay had an arrangement with his father.
She hadn't meant to break the vase.
She hadn't even been running.
Neither of those things mattered though, because she'd still broken it.
It was still her fault.
And now she knew exactly what that meant.
So she had begged for a lift home early, using big blue eyes to convince Laura's mommy not to call her parents and not to come inside with her when she dropped her off.
Poor woman never knew what had hit her, because above anything else Jeannie is a McKay, and she knows that one day her brother is going to make that name famous but for now it means always getting what they want.
She'd snuck in the door and crept up the stairs, just five years old, acting older and not understanding why she had to.
And more than anything else she knew that she wasn't allowed to tell Rodney to move.
Rodney wrapped his arms round his legs curling up into a tiny little ball, almost insulted that his father didn't even bother to use the lock anymore, but knew he couldn't even dream of leaving until he'd come back to get him, trapped in the middle of the floor, too scared and too conditioned to move.
His breath hitched in a sob but he quickly stifled it, he'd learned a long time ago that you didn't cry in this house.
Then he heard the front door slam and felt a twinge of panic, he never came back this soon, oh God…
But then the door opened and the tiny sliver of bright light as a shadow slipped in caused him to wince despite his position and a warm body curled up beside him, wrapping around his body.
Knowing he should tell her to get out of there he opened his mouth but she started humming and kissed him on the forehead.
He could feel the hot tears running down her face and knew there would be no getting her to move.
So he unfolded himself and pulled her onto his lap arms wrapped around her joining in with her humming, recognising it with surprise as a piece he'd mastered on the piano just last week.
Slowly he began to rock her. The noise making a tiny scuffing sound on the floor.
Half praying he wouldn't forget to come back for them this time.
Half praying he would.
Fin
AN Like I said, please don't kill me