AN: More chapters! Thanks for the reviews (kowtows). I heart you all XD. Sorry about the late chapter! (gomen gomen) Anyway, more stuff to clarify fwafwah: Deidara does repeated say something in his sentences, but depending on which subbed version you read (manga I'm speaking of), it can be either "Hnn" or "Yeah"...of course, I read both popular subs, and I think in the way Deidara put his sentences, "yeah" would make more sense. In fact, I just found out the actual romaji for the word he says is "Un", and if I was (underline "was") taught correctly during my two years of studying jap, it's a casual way of saying "yes" ie "Yeah". Which is why I decided to use "yeah" instead of "hn". I would change it to "Un" to be culturally correct, but that means changing the other 4 chapters, so I'll do that, later. Oh well (shrugs). Next thing to clarify is Deidara's gender. I was actually once a "Deidara's so female...un" person until they changed "she" into "he". I also checked many other sites for clarification, and so far, he's 80 male. He also has a deep husky manly voice in episode 135, but that says nothing, cos I have a very deep guy-ish voice and I'm 100 female (last I checked.) And if Haku is male, then Deidara should definitely be male, as he looks more manlier save the hair. He also acts manlier too...but so do tomboys (like me). What the heck, if he turns out to be a girl, I can fix that, I mean, in a story where Gaara is a love advisor, anything's possible! So, in conclusion, IN THIS FANFIC, DEIDARA IS MALE. Heh, this whole rant is Deidara-orientated. This chapter was late due to two reasons: Deidara and uni. Gomen gomen. Anyway, I should have more Sakura nagging Gaara, as well a snippet of Gaara's column. So let us progress! By the way, to the person who's in love with Gaara and claims "Gaara is mine..." I don't mind, I'm sure he wants to share the love (wink). Anyway, I have my not-as-popular Kiba (strokes Kiba, who wants to get away as far as possible...). And Sasori is a puppet? Damn! Did you see his body? You could tell he had a pretty good body before he puppetised himself. ANYWAAAAAAY...

Chapter 5: Prince of Ardour - Not just your Average Joe

Home time came, eventually, much to everyone's glee. They were starving, due to the fact they missed true lunch time, as Itachi slave-drove the infirmary witnesses more than usual to show he was serious. Gaara didn't care though. This was actually refreshing to him. He never got slave-driven before. Shunned, neglected, shooed, but never slave-driven. The interest died fast, though. He actually began appreciate being left without work. However, this left him with a completed set of four pages. Deidara and Sasori took a copy, as they wanted to make a special debut layout for Gaara's first issue. They even forced him to stand across the street, and left a camera in front of the company for a while, just to take a fancy shot of Gaara looking like, well, Gaara, and the bustling street looking like a blur. Gaara didn't care about the technical side of this shot. All he knew was that he had to stand still, else he'll also come out blurred. And standing still was something he was good at.

There was something that Gaara didn't like though when he returned to his desk after the photo shoot. It came in the form of a light pink envelop containing a rose scented pink letter decorated in red hearts of multiple sizes, with the text scrawled in with red ink and in a calligraphy style, asking for advice to score a certain popular teenaged male model, and signed by a certain someone he would very much like to avoid. He skimmed it once, scrunched it up, pushed the peddle to the bin with his foot, and threw the crumpled pink paper into the bin as the lid opened. He brushed his hands as he let his foot off the pedal, the lid closing back, and Gaara was feeling really good about himself.

Sakura stayed with Hinata in the infirmary, as Itachi made sure she didn't leave until he felt that she was fully recuperated. He made various checks to make sure she didn't run on him. Gaara, Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji made their way to the infirmary to collect both girls, as Shikamaru finally managed to convince Itachi that Hinata was fine, and that he was just being paranoid and silly. Hinata and Sakura were both sitting on the infirmary bed.

"Okay, Itachi said you can go, so lets go before he changes his mind and then it'll get really troublesome." Shikamaru said, and they all left the building to go find an eatery.

"I never knew Itachi to be so paranoid." Hinata remarked as they walked. "He doesn't look the type."

"He's not." Shikamaru clarified. "He's only afraid if it affects his clan, brother or company. He told what happened today, how hoards of people were threatening to take him to the academy or sue him. In the past, he would have beaten them up without even lifting a finger."

"Hey! This is the place! It's really good, and pretty cheap." Chouji pointed to a small restaurant. It was positioned in an inconspicuous way, and any normal person would have just walked right past it. However, as they looked closer, it was quite stylish and cosy, and the food the other customers were eating looked simple, but delicious. Chouji was definitely a genius when it came to finding exquisite eateries, no matter how small and simple they were. A waitress came up to them.

"Chouji! Nice to see you again! How have you been?"

"I'm cool, can't help but come back to this place. Five people, please. How are you?" The waitress took them to a table with six chairs.

"I've been good, the work load has been light this week. What would you like to order?" They all looked at the menu and ordered something. However, Gaara hasn't made up his mind. They all looked at him.

"I'll just have your special. These people are piercing me with their gazes." He just looked back at the other four. His normal look was enough to make them shiver. After a while, the waitress came back with their food, and they dug in. Even Gaara had to admit that the food was quite good. Not that he was going to say anything.

---

"Oh no, I left some files back at your workplace, I think on Ino's desk...Tsunade-sama's gonna kill me." Sakura gasped suddenly. They were heading home from the restaurant. Ino grabbed Sakura's hand in urgency.

"Let's go back - drats! I can't, I have to get back home to do stuff for mum." Ino cursed. "Can any of you guys do it?"

"Can't. I have an appointment with a restaurant owner, I'm going to interview him." Chouji answered.

"Nah, mum wants me home tonight as well, and she's a dragon lady." Shikamaru droned. "And the building's closed to everyone unless you work there, so you can't go alone, Sakura."

"I've never stepped into the building till today, sorry Sakura, I would have went with you." Hinata looked down at her feet. Sakura just cheerfully waved off the comment and smiled.

"It's alright, I'll just put up with Tsunade-sama, it's not like it's the first time..." She reassured them. However, Gaara felt four piercing stares trying to bore their way into his skull.

"I'll go with you." Gaara gave in. Sakura looked surprised at first, that the coldest man to enter Konoha was offering her help. Then she smiled appreciateively. Gaara knew what will happen, though, if he was left alone with her. She'll probably nag him about the Sasuke thing. They waved to the others, before turning back towards the W4eva building. They walked for awhile in silence. Gaara was suspicious.

Maybe she's really given up. I mean, hello? You were known to be a psycho serial murderer.

I know that, but I don't think this one is the type to fear that single fact. She did get trained by the muscle woman with a gambling problam, Tsunade-sama...and she might think I've gone soft since I haven't killed anyone for no reason for quite while...

I think you've gone soft.

Silence. I didn't want your opinion here. Gaara was perfectly fine with the silence between him and Sakura. If only Shukaku would shut up as well.

"So Gaara, did you get my letter today?" Sakura broke the silence. Gaara mentally cursed to himself, not satisfied since the silence could have lasted longer. Sakura must have waited till they were out of Ino's hearing range.

"It came in a pink envelope with a pink letter decorated with red hearts, right?" Gaara asked, pretending to ponder.

"Yes, that was my letter! Did you read it?"

"Once."

"You actually read it?" Sakura looked genuinely surprised.

"It's my job to read those rotten things." Gaara scowled at the thought of all those letters. All those letters. There were too many of them. He didn't know who would die first, him or Shukaku. But this was not the time to think such thoughts. Now was the time to get Sakura off his case.

"Well? What did you think?" Sakura asked, seeing that she was not getting anything else out from Gaara. Gaara just looked at her indifferently.

"I threw it out. It was not even quality reading material. Since when were you meant to be a straight A student in class?" If that last comment came from anyone else, Sakura would have destroyed them with her Goliath strength, while bawling her heart out at the same time. Since this came out of Gaara, who was such a "ruthless bastard" and not worth her tears, she only beat him up with her Goliath strength. Funny how the impact of her fist didn't penetrate his automated shield of sand (which came from the ground and air as he didn't have his gourd with him), but rather, the impact forced the shield straight into him, throwing him along the path. Fortunately no one was around to see that. Gaara struggled to his feet.

"You bitch..." He muttered, coughing out blood at the same time. The impact left him him completely winded, with no control of his body. Even Shukaku was pissed off at this. Damn Legendary Sannin woman for teaching her to utilise such strength. Sakura panicked at the thought of what she has done. Not only were hopes of getting Gaara to help her were dashed, he would kill her once he recovered! There were only two options for her now:

1. Help Gaara to somewhere and heal him.

2. Kill him.

Option 2 was very appealing. But she knew that if she helped him, he would be in her debt. So she chose option 1. She ran over to him, and gently and slowly reached over to him, and helped him up.

"Bitch...what the hell were you doing?" Gaara spat, a trickle a blood slithering down from the corner of his mouth. If he could move, he would be choking her right now.

"Shut up! I'm sorry, alright? Now let's go somewhere and I'll heal you up and - "

"Hell no. We're going to the head office to get your files and then I'll go home and won't have to see you for as long as I could help it." Gaara coughed, and struggled to move his legs towards the head office. Sakura lifted him up and carried him like a princess.

"We'll go to the infirmary in the head office! You're getting healed up no matter what! It's not me policy to leave injured people injured!" And she marched towards head office, Gaara in tow. He didn't say a word, the shock was too much. Gaara felt utterly pathetic. This was the biggest blow to his manhood in his entire life of nineteen years. He would take death matches over being carried this way, even if he died in process. In fact, he would rather if he died right now. Maybe he should fall asleep and let Shukaku handle the rest...

Are you nuts? I'm not using your body if you're being carried like that, you pansy.

Ungrateful bastard. You had your chance, now you've lost the moment. Eventually they reached head office, Gaara being extremely relieved that the street they used was practically empty, and the only highlight of the trip was that Sakura didn't say anything else about needing advice. Gaara clumsily swiped the door panel with his card, and the automated doors slid opened allowing them in. Sakura then rushed towards the infirmary. After she placed Gaara down in a free bed, she performed a healing immediately. It wasn't long until Gaara was back to normal. He sat up and grabbed his chest. He was breathing normally. He was moving again, control was returning to his body. He was ready to kill Sakura.

"Now you're in debt to me." Sakura remarked smugly, slicing through Gaara's thoughts. Damn, that would mean I can't kill her. Next time.

"No, I'm not. You injured me, and so you must take responsibility. And you've handled that responsibility quite well. I was the victim." Gaara answered. However, Sakura won't take no as an answer.

"You provoked me to hurt you!"

"Didn't you want my opinion? I gave it to you! What kind of person won't accept an honest opinion?"

"What the? What are you two doing here? I thought you two were burglars, except for the whole screaming bit..." The new voice startled both of them. It was Sasori. They never saw him approach them, and they were too loud to hear him come in. He looked at Sakura, and took out her folder.

"One of the cleaners saw this on the floor next to Ino's desk. It must have fallen on the floor or something, there were sheets scattering from it, but there was you're name on the front. I decided to take it in and hand it to Ino for you tomorrow...but here it it, you might hafta organise it something." Sasori handed the folder over to Sakura, who was extremely relieved.

"If I didn't have this Tsunade-sama would kill me!" She exhaled in relief. Sasori shuddered at the thought of being hurt by Tsunade.

"Tell me about it. Well, you better go home, Sakura, I'll handle it from here." Sasori went over to Gaara's bedside, while Sakura stood up and headed towards the door.

"Bye, Sasori." and then she gave Gaara a "this isn't over yet" glare, before leaving the room. Sasori turned to Gaara.

"She nagged for advice? She did that to a few of the previous advisors too, except they DID give her advice. Wasn't effective though. Of course to get into your mess, I bet you refused?"

"In her opinion, much worse." Gaara answered. Sasori laughed.

"You were being a bastard, I suppose...anyway, Deidara and I got really inspired to do your piece, that we went overtime jus to finish its first design!" Sasori took out a manila folder. "I was going to put it on your desk, but them I heard screaming and so I headed here instead. Here we are." He handed the folder to Gaara. Gaara was actually impressed. No matter how scary or insane they were, the two Akatsuki members were actually talented. Well, all except one thing.

"Prince of Ardour!" Gaara was shaking the piece. "What the hell!"

"Well, we decided, without your approval, to give you an alias, and Love Doctor is too cliché." Sasori responded cheerfully. "And look at the other stuff we wrote underneath it..."

"He's not just your Average Joe. He's your sensitive master of love." Gaara read aloud, trying very hard to keep his voice indifferent and not filled with rage. "WHAT!"

"Now you know why these things are labeled as trash." Sasori grinned. He was obviously savouring the moment. Then he pointed to the boxed text on the page.

"We and Kurenai really liked that one, so she made it editor's pick. We felt something that wasn't in the other replies." Gaara began to read it. He remembered this one. It was one of the worse letters he read, but somehow, he felt he must answer it.

Dear Nina,

I'm female, and I'm only a high school student. Me and some of my female friends just recently joined the rifle club, and we tried to invite my male friends in it too. However, one of my friend's boyfriends just shunned as away, and said it was "just for girls", while he just picked up knitting. Of course, he denies that this is a feminine sport. I don't understand. However, this caused a rift between my friend and her boyfriend, as he's acting like such a chauvinist, and she's saying that if he followed stereotypes, he wouldn't be knitting like an old woman. And now they're not even talking to each other. All because of such trivial events. I really want to help my friends, but I don't know what to do, will you please help me?

The middle person.

Dear "the middle person",

My name is Sabaku no Gaara, and from now on, I'll be filling in Nina's position. Your friends position is quite complex. I understand how nowadays, women can do thing that were thought to be unthinkable of during the old days, and now you are embracing it. I congratulate you and wish you well for your participation in the rifle club. As for your male friend, calling it "just for girls" is not an attack on you or your other friends, as insensitive as it sounds, while it might seem like it, but rather, it is to protect himself, as the "ideals" of the past is now changing, and he not ready to except this change, that women can do thing that men could, and could be good in anything they do. However, he himself is also embracing change, whether he realises this or not. Taking up knitting is already breaking protocol set up traditionally, so your female friend does have a point there. The problem now lies on whether both of them will sit down and discuss a solution or not. Will they listen to each other? Being a middle person may draw you into their argument as well, and they may turn on you instead. Give them just a bit of time to cool, before approaching them. If you leave it for too long, things may heal, but it may also go worse, they may never speak to each other again, even if this seems trivial to outer eyes. When you speak do not directly approach them, or force them into changing their thoughts. Rather, discuss it with them, empathise with them, ask them their true opinions, and discuss with them the topic of stereotypes and the changing views, but in a passive manner, don't force them, tell your female friend that her boyfriend feared change, and tell your male friend that his girlfriend only wished to do things with him. If you feel that your friendship with them is on the line, however, I wish you to stop. Your friendship is not worth breaking if they will not listen to you. Whether they will speak to each again is dependent on themselves. You cannot change their relationship, you can only try to help. I wish you luck, and I hope your friends will end their anger towards each other.

Gaara

"It's really long, of course, since it was a special we could get away with it...the request was really normal, but why did you answer it?" Sasori asked. Gaara shrugged.

"The topic of stereotypes. I suffered that a lot as a youth. Having Shukaku in me, having the powers I had, everyone immediately labelled me a monster. And I became one, I loved only myself." Gaara looked towards the ceiling. "Then someone changed that for me. Someone who managed to just get away from that image. When I read that letter, I believed that I might change it for someone else as well. It was the only letter I didn't bluff my answer to." Then he grinned sadistically. "Well, most of it anyway. Half of the instructions I gave her was fake, I was shuddering so much as I typed it..."

---

Gaara opened the apartment door, and stepped in, only to be face to face with Temari. She was giving him a suspicious look. Kankurou didn't seem to care, he was just watching television while giving his puppets maintenance at the same time. Gaara looked at Temari back.

"What?" He questioned coldly. Temari crossed you arms.

"Erm...one hundred messages were left for you on the answering machine, all from Haruno Sakura." she answered. Gaara froze. One hundred messages? It has only been one day! He saw her for most of the day! Unless she did it while she was at work...and where did she get his home number? Wait...Naruto must have given it to her. He's going to pay dearly for what he has done.

I think you've forgotten...you actually suggested to Sakura for her to get your number off Naruto...

Shut up and start thinking death thoughts.

"So..." Temari gazed at the right ceiling corner. "What's, erm, Sakura to you...? I remember she was a Sasuke nut."

"And she still is. She asked me to give her some advice." Gaara replied in a matter of fact tone. Temari clicked her tongue.

"Whoa...she's pretty desperate." Then she returned to her previous wavelength of thought. "Are you sure she's nothing else to you? One hundred messages is a lot..."

"Leave the guy alone, Temari. It's strictly business, couldn't you tell from the messages?" Kankurou cried out, eyes never leaving the TV set or his puppets, hands working away. "Just because you haven't got a boyfriend yet doesn't mean you can force Gaara in a relationship in your place."

Kankurou basically asked for the beating he received Temari because of his comment. So while Temari was on the verge of killing Kankurou and blowing him out the window with her insanely large fan, Gaara grabbed the answering machine and went to his room. It was better to listen to these in private...where Temari wouldn't be around to knock him about with her suspicions. It was bad enough already having Sakura threaten him with her aura of desperation and her titan strength, but having his sister suspect they were a pair? Preposterous. Gaara turned the volume down and replayed the messages.

"Gaara, it's Sakura. I sent you your letter! You better not be at home just to avoid me."

"Sabaku no Gaara-sama, I'll be ever in you debt if you just help me? Your humble servant, Haruno Sakura."

"Gaara, want some expensive dinner this weekend? I'll treat you! Just help me out. Sakura."

"Gaara, we should hang out! How about a trip to the fairground? My treat! Sakura."

"Gaara, this really great movie just came out, I'm sure you'll love it. Let's go see it! Sakura."

Gaara noticed a strange trend. It started off normal, then it beacme suck-up messages. Then ten messages later, the more heinous side of Sakura emerged.

"Gaara, just help me out! I thought you should understand people like me! Sakura."

"Gaara, I've got connections to some of the most dangerous Yakuza around! You know what I want. Sakura."

As the messages went on, Gaara had never gotten so sick of hearing his name again and again. He also got especially sick of Sakura's name. If someone ever said the name/word "Sakura" again, he's afraid he wouldn't contain himself. Shukaku was enjoying himself immensely.

Feel the love.

Up yours.

Then suddenly Temari burst into his room. Again. Gaara decided to just give up telling her off. It was too much effort to speak.

"Er...Gaara...Sakura's at the door." Again with the name Sakura. Gaara managed to stop himself from Sabakukyu-ing Temari.

Self control is the key.

Hah! Tell that to yourself again. Oh the irony...

Is there a time where you will actually zip it!

Only when you're unconscious.

"Tell her I'm not here." Gaara decided that ignoring Shukaku was the best plan as he spoke to Temari. However, something rather unexpected occur that made him wished he was still communing to Shukaku.

"Who's not here?" Sakura welcomed herself into his room. Gaara clenched his fists. Sakura remained oblivious (purposely) to the fuming red-head. "Wow...this is very neat for a guy's room...um, Gaara? I thought you never slept, why do you own a bed?"

"GET OUT!"

To be continued...with chapter 6...badoom.

AN: Yay, another chapter complete. OH MY GOD, GAARA LOST HIS COOL! How very odd. Well that lunch bit was useless. It was mainly just to clarify some Itachi, get Hinata more involved, and give Chouji his moment of triumph. I suck at giving advice...DON'T USE IT! This is exactly why I'm not a love doctor...(sweat drop). Anyway, something offtopic...I just remembered a much loved character (well...for me) in the form of Haku! Man, that guy had so much potential, starting with those one-handed seals of his. And he was so young, so there was still so much more to learn! He would have been a complete and total genius...and owned so much arse (and he already did). Ah...nostalgia...(yes, Haku is in this fic. I'll beat myself to death if he isn't.)