Summary: Yet another Halloween fic. With demons.

Disclaimer: I own... hmm. I own nothing. The bank owns any money I make, at the moment. The concepts building 1001Keys do not belong to me, most probably.

Feedback: Why not? It helps me write more and better...

Crossover: Megatokyo

AlbumThisWasWrittenTo: 'Once Sent From The Golden Hall', Amon Amarth

Pre-fic Comments:

Words in 'leet are in braces after the paragraph.

O'Neil looked up as someone knocked on the door. Surely his friend had not arrived already? He got up unsteadily, and tried to turn back into a human form. 5h33p tended to scare easily, in his experience. They got the most peculiar expressions on their faces when he tried to talk to them...

5h33p sheep

Once he had managed to complete his transformation, he stumbled over to the door and opened it to find a menagerie of folks planted on his doorstep.

"Hi, are you John O'Neil?," the short blonde ch1x in front asked.

He nodded dumbly. "H07..."

H07 Hot

"What'd he say?," the blonde asked.

"Uh... he called you hot, Buffy," the redhead goth piped up.

The blonde, and the brunette teen looked familiar for some reason... he ignored the fl4m4g3 and ranting as he tried to remember where he had seen them before.

fl4m4g3 flamage

"Do I know y0u?," he said, brow wrinkled.

"Sure," Buffy said. "I'm your new neighbour."

With that, she socked him and he was knocked unconscious in short order.

He woke up to find himself chained between two pillars in a basement. Whoever had done it really knew what they were doing, as he was unable to free himself in any way whatsoever.

"Okay," a male voice said. "Now you're up, you can start 'splaining."

O'Neil focussed on the speaker, the brunette from earlier. He then realised where he had seen the boy before -- on the same video tape as the were-cat. "34Back! Foul thing!

The demon in human form appeared genuinely puzzled by this. "What? Are you French or something?"

"He is coming," 1001Keys said resolutely. "He is coming, and his worth is unequalled in this day and age!"

The demon scratched it's head for a moment before shrugging. "Okay, getting zero on the clue-meter. I'll go get Wills and Giles, they understand this stuff."

The 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign was destroyed, as a rundown Honda Civic flattened it.

"Largo, did you have to destroy that?," a blonde man sighed. His expression was that of patience.

"Piro, it was 3v1l! It deserved to d13!"

3v1l evil d13 die

"And did you really have to go see this friend of yours? I remember the last time we went to visit a friend of yours."

"That was k3wl! We got arrested by real Canadian Mounties!"

k3wl kewl cool

"Thank you, I /had/ managed to repress that."

"Come, we must >>

"I don't get any vibes from him," Xander admitted upstairs. "Buff?"

The Slayer-Marilith shook her head. The situation had, due to necessity, been explained to everyone who had stormed O'Neil's house. "Giles? Any clues on that stuff he was spouting?"

"Er, I'm afraid it doesn't sound like it is connected to any major prophecies I'm aware of," the Watcher admitted.

"Couldn't you just say 'no'?"

"He just sounds like a televangelist or something," Xander frowned. "Maybe he's just a crazy man?"

"He certainly doesn't sound sane to me," Sheila Rosenberg said. "And I'm a doctor."

"This whole week hasn't been sane," Cordelia sniped. "Welcome to life around the freak squad."

"Quiet, kitty," Xander snapped at the cheerleader. Everyone was surprised when she immediately obeyed.

"What if this guy he's talking about does come, guys?," Willow worried. "I mean, what if he's seriously bad news?"

"We chew him up and spit out the hard bits," Xander joked. "What's he gonna do, use bad jokes on us?"

"And even if he does, you can sue him for copyright infringement," Cordelia sniffed.

"For I am Lord and Master of all things funnay," Xander nodded.

"I need to go find my mum," Buffy announced. "Giles, can I have your car keys?"

Giles was about to hand them over, when he saw Willow and Xander shake their heads frantically.

"Er, no, that's alright," Giles said. "I'll drive you there."

Buffy laughed at Giles as they got out of his Citroen at the gallery. His control had lapsed mid-drive, and he had found himself with his furry legs around his furry ears.

"Welcome to my world," Buffy sniggered. "Not."

"Very amusing," Giles said patronisingly. "Come, let's find your mother."

Largo stopped as he approached the door of the house.

"What is it now?," Piro asked.

"This is not right," Largo said. "This lock has been forced. 3v1l is pr353n7."

pr353n7 present

The gamer went back to the Civic, pulling out some home made body armour made of steel plates, wire, and duct tape. The next item to come out was a break-action double barrel shotgun, followed by a box of shells. He handed Piro two metal baseball bats, then shut the trunk.

"Okay," he said. "1375 201375 20"/Don't/ kill anyone," Piro sighed. Hopefully they wouldn't have to pay too much in the settlement, this time.

"Who's there?," a generic voice asked. A timid looking salesman edged into view, visibly scared.

Largo's eyes narrowed as he noticed some 'off' details. Insects dripped from the man's shirt cuffs. The shotgun rose, and a roll of thunder echoed around the property as he let the 3v1l have both barrels.

"LARGOOOOO!," Piro screamed. "YOU JUST KILLED HIM! MY GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

Largo was calmly reloading the shotgun. "100100Piro blinked as he turned. The salesman was calmly getting up, despite the gaping hole through his torso big enough to drive a truck through. As Piro watched, crawling insects turned into flesh across the hole, healing it over.

Piro continued screaming, but just incoherently this time.