A/N: lets out a lloooooonnnnngggg sigh Ok, midterms done…we can now go back to our regularly scheduled program of slacking off! Wheeeee!
Chapter 8: Payback's a Bitch
Harry slipped into one of the unused classrooms near the entrance to the dungeons, easing the door open slowly, eyes scanning the dust filled room for any sign of Filch – or Peeves. Seeing no one, he hurried over to one of the windows and opened Sirius's package eagerly, taking advantage of the weak light that was spilling through the dusty glass. The package felt deliciously heavy, and his fingers itched to see what lay inside. He tore open the bag and opened the box it contained slowly; inside there lay a treasure trove of items – including, he noted, as he lifted the contents and tilted them to catch the light, a recipe book for bizarre potions and a slim book on charms. He eyed the potions text, well, I am headed to potions next, he reasoned, might as well get a move on. Along with the book of potions came a rather large case made of a light pinewood, which held, when opened, a slew of ingredients, each in their own separate containers. Harry ran his hands along the neatly organized bottles and smiled, Sirius I love you. Along with the magical prank-pulling items, Sirius had included some muggle things as well – firecrackers, Harry noted with glee, and food coloring, and…a whoopee cushion? The dark haired boy eyed the rubber bladder oddly – Sirius, I love you, but you're odder n' me. Harry turned back to the box of potions ingredients and felt a devilish grin stretch over his face. Now what to do?
He ran his hands over the potions text, contemplating his options. If Snape finds out I'm pulling pranks in his class he'll kill me, a small voice in the back of his mind whimpered. Harry snorted at it. But it'll be worth it, he decided. He picked up the potions text, tilted it towards the light and began to flip through it, eyes scanning each page briefly, to see if the prank was feasible within the limited class time he would have to make it in. The Illusion Potion sounded promising he noted absently as he rubbed his nose – potent fumes, that, when inhaled, weakened the mind of the infected, making them highly susceptible to suggestions, which, Harry noted with glee, could be lovely fun – if I had a little more time to prepare for it. His eyes positively lit up at the idea of Ron walking around believing that he was a true horses ass, and acting like it – but it would have to keep. Harry wanted a potion that he could pull off fairly quickly, that would cause some lovely havoc right off the bat. Harry sighed as he continued to flip through the book, knowing that he was running out of time to get to class.
He was about to close the book, when another page caught his eye. It wasn't specifically a potion, he realized, but rather a recommendation on how to use combined boomslang skin and crushed newt eyes to get a lovely effect. Harry paused for a moment, intrigued, and read further. If tossed into a cauldron with each other, he read, and should the potion that was already being brewed have either sliced frog tongue or unicorn hair, then a cloud of noxious, pink smoke should immediately rise from the cauldron. This cloud would dye anything it touched a brilliant pink color that would take at least twenty four hours to fade, and could not be removed by magical or muggle means. Harry cocked his head to one side and looked at the box his godfather sent. In a heartbeat he was looking through the potions ingredients. He found that he had quite a supply of dried, crushed newt eyes and a healthy amount of boomslang skin tucked away in their own neat containers, clearly labeled and sorted. Harry slipped the two ingredients from their case and stuck them in a small upper pocket of his rucksack, in an easy to reach area; he didn't want to fuss with the box of ingredients in the middle of Snape's class. Then he threw everything back into the large traveling box that Sirius had sent everything in and shoved it all inside his pack. I love this bag, Harry mused as everything fit in easily with room to spare. He picked up the ever-light pack and slung it over his shoulder, crossing the room, easing open the door and checking for students. Once he made sure the hallway was clear, he was out the door and on his way.
Harry hurried on his way to the dungeons, not wanting yet another detention with the ever-confusing Snape. That man is hell-bent on coming up with new and more creative ways to torture me, Harry thought grumpily, mind moving from his prank to the tall, dark eyed man. While never pleasant, Snape had – tamed – his attitude towards Harry in class – neither heckling him constantly, nor praising him. The man basically ignored Harry for all intents and purposes, and Harry couldn't make up his mind if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I think I'd die of a heart attack if Snape ever complimented me, Harry decided. Then stopped, foot halted in midair, on the other hand, getting Snape to do so may just kill off a whole slew of the Gryffindor's as well. That'd be cool. Because they sure don't like him just ignoring me. Harry snorted, chuckling at himself, and continued on to the classroom, picturing the faces of his Housemates if Snape ever did lose his mind and compliment Harry. He tried to choke down his laughter as he entered the room, a muffled snort still coming from him from time to time as he set up his cauldron and got his water boiling – something which earned him odd, suspicious looks from his Housemates. He stopped laughing glared at Lavender, who had been looking over at him particularly disdainfully. The girl paled a little at his look and turned back to her cauldron quickly. Harry covered his mouth with his hand, trying to hide his returning mirth. He'd been practicing his glare – it was good to know it worked.
He was still chuckling a little when Snape entered the classroom. The tall Potions Master glanced at him oddly as he passed, but Harry tried to plaster the most innocent look on his face as he could. That just made Snape stare at him harder before sweeping towards the front of the class, barking out orders to the students about which potion they were going to make that day. With luck, it included unicorn hair, as did a great many potions in Snape's class. Harry took a little extra time getting his things, taking care in the arrangement his books, while also slipping the extra ingredients out as he did and hiding them underneath his potions text. The last thing he needed was Snape coming up and catching him. Harry made sure everything was hidden and went to get the required ingredients for the potion Snape had assigned. As he passed Ron's table, a chill went up his spine – he eyed the redhead warily, a disturbing foreboding coming over him, and edged further over to the Slytherin side of the room as he passed. But Ron looked busy with Dean, their heads bent together, whispering to each other. Harry sped up a little, and just when he thought he was in the clear from anything the two boys might do, a force hit him from behind, sending him sprawling towards the Slytherin side of the room.
"Bloody hell!" Harry exclaimed, before knocking into someone heavily. Harry caught a glance at the other boy's face, and realized it was Draco Malfoy. Great, just great. Harry's slight form bounced off the taller, broader boy and headed straight for the Slytherin's desk – his head hitting the side of the table and his knee slamming into the ground painfully as he landed. Harry tossed a disgruntled glare up at Malfoy, who had been lucky enough to grab a hold of the table, stay upright and keep his dignity intact. Lucky bastard. Harry could feel where his head had bounced off of the table edge and winced at the forming headache. He then realized uproarious laughter could be heard from the Gryffindor side of the room, and Harry felt his ears burn as he sat in a daze on the ground, not even attempting to get up. As Harry sat, trying to make the room stop spinning, Snape stalked up, the older man's face turning red.
"What it the meaning of this?" the potions master roared into the noisy room, his strident voice booming through the room. Silence fell immediately. Snape stood towering above Harry, a sneer on his face. "Mr. Potter, would please care to explain, this, this – incident?" Snape growled. Harry looked past him to see a very self-satisfied smile lurking on Ron's face. Harry felt his blood run cold for a moment, before burning, blistering anger surged through him. You fucking prat, Harry snarled at the redhead. Harry could feel himself beginning to scowl and tried desperately to wipe his expression clean – it wouldn't help Harry's plan to have the boy sent from the classroom – not if he wanted to get even, anyhow. Snape flicked his eyes to Ron, who paled visibly. Harry felt like growling. "Mr. Weasley? Is there something you wish to add?" Snape purred, seeming to enjoy the uncomfortable, panicked look that crossed the tall redhead's face. Ron shook his head quickly, glaring at Harry, who smirked at his Housemate from behind the Potion Master's back. Serves you right, you bloody prick, Harry sneered mentally at him. Take House points, give him a thousand detentions – just don't make him leave the room! Harry mentally chanted. As Snape glared at the other boy, Harry tried to stand up, hissing a little with pain. His head, which had already been painful, began to throb unmercifully. Musta smacked it good against the table, Harry thought faintly, a little unsteady on his feet – he felt like he was in the middle of a belfry, with his head as the bell. He swayed a bit, and reached out to steady himself on the table, not trusting his balance. C'mon Harry, get it together. You're standing on the bloody Slytherin side of the room. They'll have a field day if they see you fall on your ass. Harry gripped the table, and tried to keep his eyes in focus. He jumped a little when a hand gripped his elbow discretely and helped him to find his balance. Harry turned his head gingerly and saw that the helping hand was connected to non-other than one Draco Malfoy. Harry looked at the blond quizzically, not understanding why the other boy was helping him. Malfoy faintly raised an eyebrow and a hint of a smile flitted across his face, which thoroughly confused Harry. The sound of a foot tapping caught his attention, and Harry turned back to the irate Potions Master who was looking back and forth between the two Gryffindors.
"An explanation. Now. From either of you, or both of you will end up in detention and lose fifty House points. Each." Snape finally spat out. Harry sighed and looked at the ground.
"He fell," the sound of Ron's voice made Harry look up in surprise. "He's always been clumsy, and he fell." Ron looked at Harry darkly, glowering at him when Snape's attention focused on Harry.
"Is that so, Mr. Potter?" Snape seemed – well, odd. The man's foot had stopped tapping, and the anger that had been radiating off of him seemed to melt away. Harry eyed his potions professor warily, the man looked a little – well, he was going to say suspicious, but he always looked suspicious. No, rather like he's just found a piece to a puzzle that's been bothering him. It's that smug grin of his I guess. Harry gripped the table in front of him tightly, thinking swiftly. He'll be mad if I rat out Ron, Harry finally decided. Snape hates Gryffindors, but I think he hates disloyalty more. No, better to deal with this on my own. Harry nodded gingerly to the question.
"Yes, sir," He said, trying to keep his eyes from crossing, "I fell," he tried to say as evenly as he could. Draco's hand tightened on Harry's elbow briefly and the dark haired boy wondered why. Harry kept his attention on the two men in front of him though. His eyes flicked to Ron, feeling anger burn through him and then settled his gaze back on Snape, trying to calm himself down. Come Monday, Ronald dearest, you're going to thoroughly and completely think you're an ass. And I'm gonna laugh the whole bloody day, Harry snarled mentally, struggling to keep his face clear of any of his thoughts. Snape narrowed his eyes at Harry, but thankfully he said nothing more. Harry realized, with a sinking feeling, that Snape didn't believe a word Harry had said.
"Very well, Mr. Potter. Ten points from Gryffindor for your clumsiness. Get back to your cauldron and I expect a two foot essay on the potion we are making to be on my desk on Monday morning, is that clear?" Snape said darkly. Harry stifled a sigh. He's an evil, evil man, he moaned to himself. He realized Snape was waiting.
"Yes, sir," Harry said again, beginning to nod, and then stopping himself. Any movement of his head sent even more pain rocketing through it. Don't show him a hint of weakness, Harry thought fiercely. Although, he reflected, as Snape's eyes flicked to Draco's hand helping him stay balanced, that might already be shot to hell. Harry straightened and gently disengaged himself from Draco's grip. He glanced back at the blond, who wore no expression on his face – just a mask of blank indifference.
"Alright. Everyone returned to work. You still have a potion to complete before you leave my class," the Professor snarled as he spun about and headed to his desk. Harry nodded faintly at Draco, who returned his nod just as faintly, and continued on his way to the bins where the potions ingredients were. When he got there, he paused, looking over the gathered ingredients, and realized with a flush of embarrassment, that he'd quite forgotten what was needed for the potion that he was supposed to make. He paused over the unicorn hair, sure about at least one ingredient, stalling for time to try and remember the rest. Movement to his left had him glancing over, trying not to turn his head very much at all. Blaise Zabini stood there, waiting to get his own unicorn hair. As Harry moved out of the way for him, the sable haired boy leaned near him.
"Be careful about the lilac roots – some of them are old. And the black beetle eyes are rather – potent today," he whispered as he measured out the unicorn hair that he needed and walked off. Harry didn't even have a chance to say anything. Harry got the rest of the ingredients and made his way back to his desk in the dark, murky corner of the room, glancing occasionally at the Slytherin side of the room – most especially at Malfoy and Zabini. Have I fallen through the looking glass? Harry wondered faintly as he put his ingredients down on the table in front of him. He checked over the list in his book, and indeed, Zabini had told him all the correct ingredients. He looked over at the two Slytherins again, an odd feeling sweeping through him. I'll be damned, he thought, a touch of sadness running through him, that's the most pleasant thing that's happened to me in a week. That's really, really sad.
Harry glanced over at the rest of the room and noticed harsh stares coming his way from Lavender and Dean. He stared right back at them, not giving an inch. He was tired of letting them do whatever they wanted to him – he wasn't about to let it happen anymore. The two other Gryffindors sneered at him and returned to their potions, making a point of turning their backs to him. Harry felt a flush of pain rush through him – surprised that it still hurt, and hating himself a little for the fact that he still cared.
Harry turned himself back to his potion, forcing his eyesight to clear. He hated seeing double – it was always such a pain. You'd think, though, after all I've been through, with Voldemort and quiddich, I'd be used to the sensation by now. He calmly forced himself to follow the instructions in the book as quickly and cleanly as he could, irritated at the fact that it was taking him so long – he wanted time to set up his prank, damn it. He was so intent in his work that he never noticed the Potions Master coming up and standing next to him. When the older man placed a bottle of some faintly blue liquid on his desk, Harry looked up at the retreating back of the Professor in confusion. It was a healing draught – Harry had taken enough of them in his life to recognize them on site – but what the hell was Snape doing, giving him one? The man hated him! Harry cautiously picked up the vial and tried to sniff it discretely – trying to see if the man was tricking him somehow. Not finding anything amiss, he downed it, thinking, well, if it's poison, then at least I wont have to deal with the House anymore. He shook his head at his own morose, self-pitying thoughts. Snap out of it, you fool. Don't be such a baby, an inner voice taunted at him, sounding a great deal like Malfoy's provoking tones. I really need to go see a shrink, or something, Harry thought as the healing draughts' effects washed through him, ridding himself of his headache and calming the pain in his knee. All these voices can't be good. Harry turned back to his potion and rushed through it, while also trying to be as thorough as he could. He didn't want Snape to come back at any point and interrupt Harry's preparations for his prank on Ron. Harry felt a stab of guilt run through him when he thought of the chaos that would ensue when Ron's potion spewed forth the promised pink gas, realizing that Snape would be livid at the disruption of his class. I'll do it near the end of the period, then, Harry thought, faintly disturbed that he was even considering Snape's feelings. That way his class wont be completely ruined. And that's just scary, I'm trying to be nice to Snape. Yup, time for that shrink. And valium. Harry took out a small piece of boomslang skin and shredded it quickly, keeping one eye out for the Potions Master, who was, thankfully, up at the front of the room nodding happily over one of his Slytherin's brews. Never fails, Harry thought amusedly, as Snape began to talk earnestly with Millicent, gesturing over her cauldron, becoming quite distracted. Perfect.
Harry carefully made a small pile of the shredded skin and then snuck out the vile of the crushed newt eyes. He added a large dose of it to the pile of boomslang and mixed it all together with his wand. Then he realized he had a problem. He had the ingredients all ready – but how the hell do I get it in Ron's cauldron? Harry wondered, a little frustrated at himself for not planning ahead of time. He cocked his head to the side and thought about it. He needed to either levitate it over everyone's head and pray that his aim was good, or…he glanced at the ground. He needed a carrier. He glanced at Snape to make sure he was still busy, then knelt down swiftly and murmured a spell. A pair of spiders formed themselves out of the dust on the ground and stood there expectantly, waiting for him to guide them where he wanted them to go. Harry tied the mixed ingredients together in a bit of cheesecloth normally used for straining their potions and cast an invisibility charm on all of it. He attached the bundle to one of the spiders and then sent both of them off, guiding them surreptitiously with his wand.
The spiders made their way quickly to Ron's table. One climbed up the leg of the table while the other burrowed its' way under Ron's clothes and onto his ankle. Harry had to fight a huge grin when the red-haired boy began to shriek suddenly and start swatting at his ankle wildly. Snape whirled on Ron, cut off mid sentence, his face terribly angry at the interruption.
"What is the meaning of this?" Snape roared, striding up to the panicking boy who was hoping around, still yelling loudly. Harry ducked his head and stirred his potion dutifully, not able to watch the unfolding scene without cracking into an enormous grin. He raised his eyes after a moment, when Ron began to babble about a bug crawling up his robe. And a bug is the only thing that would get under your robe, Harry thought maliciously, eyes narrowing briefly at the redhead, his right hand gripping his wand tightly, his other stirring his cauldron. He held the other spider in check, wanting to wait until Snape had moved away. Getting Snape with this prank, however fun it would be, would most definitely lower my life expectancy. Snape crossed his arms angrily, staring down his nose at Weasley, who had finally stopped swatting at his clothes and was looking around sheepishly.
"Mr. Weasley. May you and your brothers never procreate. If this generation is bad enough, then God help the teachers who will get your spawn," the adult spat, causing Ron to blush profusely. Snape whirled around, flaring his robes dramatically and stormed off for his desk. Now, Harry thought, and flicked his wrist, watching the tiny blob that was his animated charm scurry onto the desk and throw itself into the cauldron. "Now class, you will bottle up your potions and bring them to the front." Ron and Dean looked at the teacher darkly for a moment and then leaned over their cauldron to ladle out their potion. Perfect, Harry thought gleefully. As they did so, a large plum of pink smoke exploded from the cauldron, going right into their faces. Harry smiled as he heard the Gryffindor boys yell with shock and begin to cough. Snape looked up from behind his desk and a stared at the two rapidly coloring boys for a moment and shot to his feet, pulling out his wand as he did so. Harry watched with satisfaction as the faces of both boys started to turn a lovely shade of bright, neon pink – too bad it wasn't green, Harry thought. Snape woulda loved that. The Potions Master snapped out two spells; one to clean up the smoke that was headed towards the rest of the Gryffindors, and another to clear the air of the boiling cabbage smell that had accompanied the smoke. Then the man stood there, looking at the horrified faces of the two pink Gryffindors. He didn't say anything, but Harry thought for a second that his eyes flicked to the back of the room where Harry was trying unsuccessfully to blend into the shadows to hide his gleeful smile.
"Get. Out. Of. My. Classroom," Snape said with deadly malice at the Gryffindor side of the room. "I expect to see both you, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Thomas tonight at eight." The Potions Master crossed his arms over his chest, drawing himself up and glaring at Ron and Dean, effectively cutting off their protests. "Now, get OUT!" Everyone – even the Slytherins, hurried to obey his shout. Harry hurriedly shoved everything into his bag, then carefully dumped out and cleaned his cauldron. He slipped his bag onto his should and was about to slip out the door when Snape's deadly voice stopped him.
"Mr. Potter. Please stay after class," Harry stopped and felt his shoulder's droop. He was so dead. He stepped back to his desk and let the other Gryffindors file out in front of him. He had to cover his mouth with his hand as Ron and Dean passed – they looked so ridiculous, it was wonderful. Harry turned to the front of the room, and noticed that even though the Gryffindors had left – none of the Slytherins had. For a long moment, it felt like every eye in the room was centered on him, then it passed and the other House filed slowly out of the room – in groups of two or more, Harry noted with some interest. They watch each other's back, Harry mused as he watched Malfoy leave with Zabini and Parkinson. That's more than I can say about the Gryffindors, he thought sourly. As the last of the Slytherins left, Harry made his way to the front of the room, noting that Snape had retaken his seat behind his desk. The dark eyed man watched Harry approach with little expression, his hands steepled in front of his face.
"Sir?" Harry asked, coming to a halt a few steps away from the imposing desk. Snape's eyes glittered at his wariness, noting the distance left between them – enough space for Harry to make a run for it. The older man lowered his hands and looked at the slight boy gravely.
"Mr. Potter. I will let you get by with prank pulling in my classroom this once. Please make sure you keep your activities outside of my classroom in the future. Is that understood?" Snape watched him evenly. Harry could feel his mouth dropping open and couldn't help it.
"I – am I – you're –" Harry stuttered. An amused glint came into Snape's eyes. "I, er, yes sir. I understand." Harry finally got out, closing his gaping mouth with effort. He eyed his potions master warily, even more spooked at the look he saw in the man's eyes – this is so freaking weird. He's not mad, he's not screaming – hell, he hasn't even tried to get me expelled. What the hell? Harry shifted uneasily on his feet, unnerved by the odd behavior from his professor. He tilted his head to one side, realizing he hadn't thanked his professor yet for the healing potion. Ahh, that's it. He's trying to get me to forget that he gave me the potion, and then berate me for being ungrateful. That was the only thing that made sense to Harry – all the other possibilities were just too strange to contemplate. "Sir? Thank you for the potion." Harry rushed, watching the other man intensely. A look of – shock? – seemed to pass across the Potions Master's face. He dismissed Harry's thank you with a flick of his hand.
"You may go," Snape said disdainfully. "And remember what I said. No more pranks in my classroom – or you'll be serving detentions in here with me for the rest of the school year, is that understood?" Harry nodded and backed away quickly, almost relieved at the return of the nasty tempered personality. At least with that one, Harry knew what to do and how to act around it. Harry hurried out of the classroom, having to break out in a light jog in order to get to the DADA classroom on time. He could feel a smile start to tug at the corners of his mouth as he contemplated Professor Montevay's reaction to Ron and Dean's pink faces. Lovely, lovely. Sirius, I love you. He chuckled as he slipped in the door of the classroom, eyes skipping over the two miserable Gryffindors. This is going to be a wonderful day, he thought gleefully as he slipped into his seat next to Malfoy. Harry kept his eyes to on his desk as he got out his things, not trusting himself to keep a straight face if he looked up. A bloody beautiful, wonderful day.
End Chapter 8
A/N: Thank you everyone who reviewed!!! And if I ever have to stare at another mosaic and talk about its importance in the Iconoclastic Controversy, I'll scream. Gah. Blarg. Pfft. Over it.
Review Responces:
Lady FoxFire: The entire Weasley family is not under a curse, no. And good guess about Percy. I never liked him at all, so I get to be mean to him now =)
Athenakitty: Lovely questions! The prank war will begin, and Harry's going to give as good as he gets, and then some =)
Minerva-Severus-Dumbledor: Thank you!!!! And you got it in one =)
Pseudonym: I like detail, and I actually prefer the longer chapters when I read…of course, it also happens that when I do hit one of those fics it's already 3 in the morning and I should really get to bed. And did you see the placement of Gambit's name? He has to be in the next movie. I'm such an Iceman/Gambit shipper too…
Relle: LOL. I'm actually quite different – I have to edit my own works, I wont let anyone see it before I've gone through it at least two or three times. I'm glad you got out of school though =) And, you have me confused…what group?
BlackDragon: You're definitely going to see an Order meeting. And thank you for reminding me about the spiders! I'd forgotten =)
Kristine Thorne: I hear ya on the, "well, I should really be studying and writing that midterm paper that's due tomorrow, but I just found this new archive and I just gotta look through it". Sometimes I swear fanfic is more addicting than crack. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks again! And due to more dire circumstances later on in the story – Sirius is going to be on the warpath with intent of bodily damage =)
Phoenix Tears: Thank you very much!! There's mixed feelings in the Order, but most of them mean well. They have to cover for contingencies, don't they? =)
Lana: Thank you so much for your review!!!
Hyperbole: lol, no problem. The whole black and white view of the world is probably one of the main reasons why that house puts my teeth on edge. Haha, a picture of McGonagall dressed in an ostrich feather dress just popped into my mind…oh that's disturbing, but highly entertaining. Good intuition =) I like Bill, he reminds me a lot of a friend of mine.
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos: Bill will definitely come in during later chapters. The Charlie muse hasn't spoken yet, but seeing as how I adore dragons, he'll probably come in at some point too =). As for Viktor…he might be a bit of problem to work in, but I'll definitely keep him in mind!
Renee Fay: thank you!!!!
Melon1125: Harry taking the potion will be in the next chapter. And yes, there will be a lot more of Ginny to come =) thanks for the review!
Fatalonie – The Grinning God: Thanks I'll need the luck!
SparkySparkles: Thanks again for another wonderful review!
Redheaded Goddess from Mars: Thank you very much for the review! Yes, Harry and Draco will get together, I'm just slow =)
SephyGirl: Thank you for reviewing!
Redredredred: There will definitely be a chapter describing Harry taking the potion =) Lots of screaming comin' up =) thank you for the review! And thanks for the luck, I'll need it!
Ysabell: Thank you for the wonderful review!! Yes, Crabbe and Goyle are gone =)
Archangel53: Thank you so much! And good luck on your finals!!