This is a fanfic written for the 30kisses community on Livejournal, where I have claimed Kira/Katou. The theme for this fic is The space between dream and reality.
I do not own Angel Sanctuary, it is the brain child of Kaori Yuki. Nor did I make the 30 themes list. Enjoy!
When Katou was young, he knew something was wrong with him. He had mentioned it to his sister once, and she humoured him, though behind her eyes, he could see that that was all she was doing. Humouring him.
He had never told his father, or his mother. His father hated him too much, and since his mother never tried to stand up to him against his father, he never really felt anything at all for her. He didn't hate her like he did Sae, and he didn't wish for her approval like he did his father. She was always just there.
When Katou was young, he could see light coming from people. Every person had a different light. He supposed it was like a finger print, but he could never tell the difference between fingerprints, and he could always tell the difference between the lights.
It scared him, because he knew that no one else say it. He knew that there was something wrong with im.
The first time he had tried drugs, it was because the woman, Madeline, had promised all his pain would be gone. He tried it, and he realized she was right. He could feel the dopamine flood through his head and that made him feel good. Better yet, he could no longer see the light coming from the people. He was normal.
So he kept with the drugs. He found, however, that if he didn't keep taking more and more, and stronger and stronger drugs, that he wasn't getting the dopamine rush, and he could see the outlines of the lights.
Every now and then, he'd take too much, and he wouldn't be able to move or speak, sometimes for days at a time. He couldn't take his drugs, and Kira wouldn't give them to him when he came over. Katou liked watching Kira's light. It was bright, like a star, and it was sharp, like a sword.
One time, he got to that stage, and yet still something compelled him to continue taking the pills. He couldn't stop, and that scared him.
When he woke up, he could see the bright light. But it wasn't Kira's. He looked around, and realized he was in a hospital, connected to machines.
A little more looking, and he found Kira by his bedside. Kira was asleep, looking ragged, and his light was considerably dimmer. Katou had found, as a child, that when someone's light was dim, they were sick, or tired, or dying. It was never good.
"Kira?" Katou said. It hurt to talk.
Kira opened his eyes, looking at Katou. Then he gave a start, as if realizing who he was looking at. "So, you're finally awake?" Kira said. He was trying to sound tough, cold, calculated, but his voice was hoarse.
"What are you–" he coughed, and it hurt to cough. He stopped talking.
"Shh," Kira soothed, running a hand along Katou's face in what he was sure was supposed to be a reassuring manner. It made Katou uncomfortable though. Katou didn't say anything, because he kind of liked it.
"Kira, your light," Katou said, his voice barely above a whisper that Kira had to strain to hear.
Kira gave him a puzzled look, then laughed. "You really should lay off the drugs, Katou."
Katou frowned, and it took his brain a moment to realize what must have happened. Kira had been worried about him, and must have exhausted himself in his worry.
Katou struggled up with some difficulty, and leaned forward to kiss Kira. It wasn't real, after all. He wasn't thinking right, he told himself. Kira didn't pull away, and when Katou passed out again, he laid him back down gently, and left the hospital.
It had been in that moment when Katou had decided he wasn't going to do drugs ever again. He never wanted to see Kira's light so dim.
- - -
It was a week later when he could finally leave the hospital again. And he went to rehab. Then he saw Bobby again. He left rehab.
Kira didn't complain. Katou couldn't stop.
Con crit more than welcome. Flames will be mocked.