Part 36
Summary: Yet another Halloween fic. With demons.
Disclaimer: I own... hmm. I own nothing. The bank owns any money I make, at the moment. The concepts building 1001Keys do not belong to me, most probably.
Feedback: Why not? It helps me write more and better...
Crossover: Megatokyo
BandThisWasWrittenTo: KMFDM
Pre-fic Comments:
Nathan gets co-auth for all the CS scenes.
Willow frowned. "Xander and Buffy should be back by now."
Giles sighed. "They are probably just dealing with an Armageddon, not a problem."
Joyce looked at Giles, surprised. "Was that a joke?"
"We may as well go and see what has happened," Giles said, ignoring Joyce's question.
Once they had all arrived next door, they found the front door swinging open.
"That's strange," Mr Rosenberg said. "Who would leave their front door open?"
"A nutcase like O'Neil," Willow said, taking off her wide black hat. She left her gloves on, however.
"Willow," her mum said.
"Alright, I'll check the basement, the rest of you check the remainder of the house," Giles directed as he began down the stairs.
Everyone began searching until, a few minutes later, a loud sound came from the living room. It sounded... almost dirty.
"Willow," Mrs Rosenberg said incredulously.
Willow stared at all the computer systems arrayed in the room, and the liquid cooling, and the tall evaporation towers, and the racks in the corner of the room... Her breath began to quicken, as her room temperature body heated up slightly in response.
"It's so... /beautiful/..."
Giles shut his eyes tightly and counted to ten slowly. Everyone else stared at the hacker incredulously.
"Willow," Giles said firmly. "Do try and focus. We are here to find Buffy and Xander, also possibly the three perpetrators of our current situation."
"I bet two strong hackers like A Thousand And One Keys, and Largo, went to MADDDLAN," Willow said dreamily. "Ohhhhh... yesssss... a 2.66 gigahertz overclocked Celeron with what looks like a custom machined water jacket!"
Giles pulled her away bodily from the machine, before she did more than turn it on and read labels. "/Willow! Where is this LAN?"
"I'm not sure," Willow said. "I wasn't invited. But I do know some of the IP addresses to some of their servers... I can message Nikon or Burn, they're in on the organising."
Willow looked greedily at the overclocked Celeron.
"/No/. We will move to your parent's house, and you shall use /their/ computer," Giles said firmly.
"While you're doing that, we'll ring around and see if anyone has seen them," Mr Rosenberg said. "Mr Giles can check whether they used some other method of getting to this place to apprehend O'Neil."
The sound of an old XT/AT keyboard being used at a ferocious rate filled the small room, as the bright 17 inch screen shone forth over the room.
"Is it really necessary to have blackout curtains, dear," Mrs Rosenberg asked.
"Yes, mum," Willow said absently. "I'm in."
"Ask one of your friends if O'Neil is there, then."
"Yes, mum," Willow said. "I just need to open a spectator connection to the server that O'Neil and Largo are on."
"Will that take long," Mrs Rosenberg asked.
"No, not really. I just have to load Counterstrike first."
"I... see," Sheila said, not really understanding at all.
Xander yawned as he and Buffy appeared, resurrected into the stupid game. Again.
"You getting sick of this at all, Buff," Xander asked.
"I think I'm getting the hang of this thing," Buffy grinned. "Buy Colt, ammunition, armour, helmet!"
The items Buffy called out appeared on her, the M4 appearing in her hands.
"Later," she called out, charging through a house with several other Counter Terrorists.
Xander shrugged. "Might as well help. Buy AWP!"
As the long sniper rifle appeared in Xander's hands, he headed off with a team mate to a tunnel. While l33tm45+3r had killed him several times before, they /were/ on the same team at the moment.
"Evil dudes dead ahead," Xander noted as they approached where the terrorists were holding four hostages.
The Arctic Warfare rose to Xander's right eye as he calmly put a bullet through Evolution's head, then another into Spaz's cranium. He didn't really care that they were dead -- they would rise to life again once the round was over. And his other self had even less problems with killing them than Xander did at any time.
"Incubus kills Evolution with AWP. Incubus kills Spaz with AWP," the mechanical voice called out. Xander had learnt how to change his 'nickname' during the game.
Unfortunately, another terrorist killed Xander while he was distracted.
"G0dZi11a kills Incubus with Scout," the voice said. "l33tm45+3r kills G0dZi11a with Colt."
Having gained a measure of revenge for Xander's death, Largo proceeded to rush the tunnel, meeting Buffy part way through. They split up to rescue the hostages, Largo taking the main entrance while Buffy climbed a crate to get to the upstairs level. The hostages were unguarded, so Buffy got the two on the upper floor, while Largo took the two on the ground floor.
A terrorist climbed through the same window that Buffy had, killing her with his MP5. Curses filled the air. She had been so CLOSE!
"1001Keys kills Marilith with MP5," the announcer said in that metallic voice.
Largo ran up the stairs, firing at O'Neil with his Colt. He retreated abruptly as O'Neil returned fire, both of them hurt from the exchange.
"C0rrup73r has joined game as spectator," the voice said. "Message from C0rrup73r: oneil, largo, return to sunnydale NOW."
1001Keys completely ignored the message, but Largo paused to quickly type a reply. O'Neil took advantage of the lull to move on him and kill him.
"1001Keys kills l33tm45+3r with MP5," the voice said. "Terrorists win."
Post-fic Comments:
Welp. Looks like me and Nathan might have to dream up some more plot.
Part 37
Summary: Yet another Halloween fic. With demons.
Disclaimer: I own... hmm. I own nothing. The bank owns any money I make, at the moment. The concepts building 1001Keys do not belong to me, most probably.
Feedback: Why not? It helps me write more and better...
Crossover: Megatokyo, Hackers
BandThisWasWrittenTo: The Crystal Method
Pre-fic Comments:
I seem to write most about an hour after I wake. Weird.
My mind is chewing over an EvilGenius/Lord of the Rings cross -- any thoughts?
Translations from the 'l33t are in braces.
-Hey, C0rrup73r.-
-Hey, Burn. I'm looking for a couple friends of mine, and a couple non-friends.-
-What are their nicks?-
-1001Keys, l33tm45+3r, and the last two have no nicks. Xander Harris, and Buffy Summers.-
-I'll get Crash to look for them while I keep an eye on the LAN.-
-Thanks. If he finds them, I owe you two.-
"Announcement from Burn," the smooth, mechanical voice said. "Bar is opening to above-18 attendees at cut rates."
" - 34p 30023," Largo's voice yelled in exultation.
Inexpensive liquor! The Lord truly is good to one such as me!
"l33tm45+3r has disconnected from server," the voice reported.
"That's Largo gone for the next hour," O'Neil muttered into the in-game intercom.
"Message from Burn," the voice said. "Pls rpt lcn of XHarris and BSummers."
"The demon people," O'Neil asked out loud, confused.
Willow absently chugged a can of Mountain Dew, then felt her stomach convulsing. She got to the bathroom just in time to throw it back up.
"Darn it," she muttered. "Damn vampirism."
"What's wrong, dear," her mother asked, coming in behind her.
"Nothing," Willow said, hands on the corners of the sink. "I just... forgot something. O'Neil said that two newbies are at the LAN he's at."
The hacker swallowed as she turned the cold water tap on, flushing the blood-tinged Dew down the sink.
"What are these... people's names," her mother asked carefully.
Willow straightened up. "One is Marilith and the other is Incubus."
"Marilith being Buffy Summers, and Incubus being Xander," her Dad asked. "Sheila, are you two okay in there?"
"I'm... not sure," Sheila Rosenberg said. "Willow, dear, do you need to feed?"
"No," Willow said hurriedly. "Right in Finesville here, no blood sucking needed."
"It's just that you did throw some blood up, and we don't want you to... well, die," her mother said.
"I just need to sit at the computer and talk to Burn," Willow said. "She can tell me if there are a couple of newbs who look funny when they concentrate on playing."
"Wait a moment, Xander," Buffy said, as the incubus was about to run off with his favoured AWP. "Largo has left the game."
"Soooo... if we teleport to him, we should be able to get out of this," Xander asked. "I could kiss you!"
"On a count of three," Buffy said. "One... two... three!"
Both demons concentrated on teleporting to the current location of Largo, and the world washed out to grey, to fade in to a pub.
"DEMONS," Largo yelled. "Z0mB13z R invad1n' th' M4P!"
Demons! The evil undead threaten to topple our fair city!
"We're gooooood demons," Buffy said soothingly, changing her form from Marilith to human.
"You know, like there are bad ninja and good ninja," Xander contributed.
"Ahhh... gr0kk3d," Largo said, nodding.
I understand your plight.
"Buffster," Xander asked, tapping her on the shoulder. He hadn't bothered to change to human form yet. "I owe you something."
"What would that be," Buffy asked carefully, expecting Xander to shove a whole twinkie in her mouth.
To her shock and surprise, Xander kissed her full on the lips, arms holding her close, batwings closed around the two of them.
-Found them.-
-Thanks. Where are they?-
-Harris and Summers are in the bar here. They've picked up the nicks 'Incubus' and 'Marilith'-
-Figures. Hey, thanks. I'll get back to you asap.-
-K. L8r.-
Willow groaned as she leant back from the computer, disconnecting from the IRC session she had had open.
"Bad news, baby," her father asked.
"How did they get to New York in like an hour," Willow asked plaintively. "And why didn't they take me?"
"I don't know," her mother replied. "Maybe it's part of their... new abilities."
Willow's dad sneezed, turning back into a seven foot tall wereleopard as he did. "When did you last clean in here, young lady? I can distinctly smell old food in here!"
"Last week," Willow tried.
Buffy slowly pushed Xander away from her. "Where did that come from?"
"I thought we were gonna be stuck in that game for days," Xander said. "That was thanks for gettin' us outta there."
The neo-Marilith regarded the incubus thoughtfully. Her new instincts preferred him anyway -- he was the most powerful being by far she had met (that was allied to her), and she knew that couples working together automatically got more respect both from allies and enemies. All these thoughts passed through her subconscious in moments, as she found herself liking Xander.
"I think I could stand you doing that again," Buffy said. "Not if you keep doing it to Cordelia, though."
"I can stand that," Xander shrugged. The motion caused his wings to move. "You're the only person that can't get addicted to me, anyway."
"Wh47," Largo asked, sixth can of DB Export in hand.
Part 38
Summary: Yet another Halloween fic. With demons.
Disclaimer: I own... hmm. I own nothing. The bank owns any money I make, at the moment. The concepts building 1001Keys do not belong to me, most probably.
Feedback: Why not? It helps me write more and better...
Crossover: Megatokyo, Hackers
Pre-fic Comments:
Maybe it's just my mood recently, but I haven't really been feeling the urge to write most of my buffyfics lately. (Well, except for a Dark Heart High crossover I've been discussing with DarkFire recently.)
If people prod me, I might start on the first part to that cross. I intend on writing it as I do a part, Alex does a part, you get the idea, Impro style.
"Yo, Incubus," a voice called out in the bar. "I've got a call here for you."
Xander winced. "I guess I gots some 'splaining to do."
"I bet I've got more to say than you, and a lot more yelling at to receive," Buffy moped. "I'll take it."
"Sure thing," the girl with the short black hair said, passing her a cordless Uniden.
"Hi," Buffy said, then winced, as a loud yell came over the speaker.
"Sorry, but we were looking for O'Neil, and Xander suggested we teleport to him--"
"I did not," Xander said.
"Did too," Buffy retorted. "We can /teleport/ now, that's exactly what you said."
"Stupid Marilith memory," Xander muttered as Willow yelled at Buffy some more.
"Owww! Easy on the ears, Willow," Buffy said to the phone. "I'm sorry, but I didn't know that these whackjobs were going to book for the other side of the country!"
The once-Slayer sighed as the girl on the other end of the phone talked to her.
"Okay. Will do."
As Buffy hung up the phone, Xander tapped her on the shoulder.
"What now?"
He pointed wordlessly at where O'Neil's friend had been drinking.
"Sw33t! All must be l3v3l3d to f1ght th3 3v1l," Largo grinned widely.
A swaying, tall, thin geek nodded as he clutched onto his can of Speights. "Hell yeah!"
The werecheetah gamer promptly bit the other gamer, inflicting the other gamer.
Xander sighed. "There ain't no way this is staying secret, is it?"
"Nope," Buffy said.
"O'Neil's been wandering through towns from here to Sunnydale biting people, hasn't he?"
"Yep," a depressed voice said.
The two demons turned to find Largo's friend, Piro, sitting morosely at a table.
"He normally act like Sylvester half a meter away from Tweety-bird," Xander asked.
"Quite often," Piro said.
"Quiet, Mister Girly Games," Largo said, dragging his friend to his feet. "We have 3v1l to vanquish! Your dating sims can wait until later!"
"But--"
"I don't 4r3 if it's one of your sicko X-rated sims, either! C0m3!"
Willow put the phone down, then looked up at her parents.
"Okay, the two of them decided to teleport to where A Thousand And One Keys and Largo are," Willow reported. "They're in /New York, of all places."
"That's strange," her mother observed. "Come on, we'd better tell Mr Giles."
"Sure," Willow said. "I need more sleep..."
"You should get to bed earlier then," Sheila said disapprovingly.
"But I was reading," Willow protested.
"That makes no difference," her father pointed out.
"Say, is the room supposed to be spinning," Willow asked.
With that, the red haired hacker fainted, collapsing on the floor.
"Oh dear," Giles said, shaking Willow where she lay, laid out on his table. "So she just... collapsed?"
"Yes, she claimed she was fine," Mr Rosenberg said.
"Hmmmmm," Giles drew out, pinching a section of extremely pale white skin. "I'd say she is dangerously low on blood."
"What," Sheila Rosenberg said. "But she said that--"
"She was probably repressing, dear," Mr Rosenberg said.
Giles shifted, applying a claw to his arm to draw blood.
"No, let me," Sheila said, shifting as well.
The tall leopard-woman stuck one of her claws into her other arm, letting a rivulet of blood flow down into Willow's lax mouth.
Eventually, the slight vampire's arms rose to grip Sheila's bleeding arm, sucking on the puncture of the vampire's own accord.
Part 39
Summary: Yet another Halloween fic. With demons.
Disclaimer: I own... hmm. I own nothing. The bank owns any money I make, at the moment. The concepts building 1001Keys do not belong to me, most probably.
Feedback: Why not? It helps me write more and better...
Crossover: Megatokyo, Hackers, Addventure fanon.
Pre-fic Comments:
I can't believe this fic has gotten up to 39 parts. Especially as my pure intention when starting it was to piss people off.
Gah, I read CDC and I immediately think of the cDc, or the Cult of the Dead Cow, rather than some disease centre. Back Orifice was big news, after all.
A week later found Xander and Buffy back at Sunnydale, with the two computer gamers tied into chairs (chained, rather, to prevent them from using their lycanthropic strength to break loose.)
"I can't believe you did that," Buffy said. "Now after you two idiots went inflicting as many people as you could with lycanthropy, it's practically the new fashion!"
"And the w00t4g3 was sw33t," Largo grinned stupidly.
"You are not DM," 1001Keys said. "You c4nn0t rescind this."
"Lots and lots and lots of werecats, all for me," a certain Egyptian goddess sang, dancing about around Toltiir's Pool.
"What was that," God L, jaguar Mayan God of the underworld asked her.
"Okay, not all mine," Bastet allowed. "But I get the werecat babies!"
"That seems logical," God L allowed, as she was Goddess of Pleasure and Pregnant Women as well as felines.
Bastet rubbed her hands together. "Maybe I could work something out with Urd and Astrid to get them faster..."
"The biggest news for the last week has been the outbreak of what can only be described as a feline lycanthropy," a pretty young newsreader said. Her tan face fur marked her as a lion werecat. Lionness, rather. "Reactions worldwide have ranged from hysteria to exploring new options allowed by this remarkable change."
The view changed from the newsroom to a press conference set up by the American Center for Disease Control. A harried looking man with eye stripes marking him as a werecheetah was at the microphone.
"We've discovered no cure for this, and the medical results so far have only been beneficial. Nearly all the victims with illness or other disorders have found their conditions removed."
"Folks, if you've been affected," the man summed up, "you might as well enjoy it, because from what we can tell, it isn't going away. Obviously we'll continue to research this new phenomena and release information on what we find out, but personally I doubt that the verdict is going to change at all."
"Is there any way to make sure you aren't infected," a reporter asked.
"It is highly contagious, and can be passed by sharing bodily fluids, or even being scratched. We've had several cases where a child has been infected, either through choice or accident, and has then infected the rest of their family, so there is an extremely low probability of remaining unaffected."
The camera then switched back to the news presenter.
"There you have it, straight from Doctor Phillips of the CDC," the presenter said. "And over to Mark, who has tips for us on adjusting to life after the change."
"Thanks, Mary," a tiger-striped man said. "Several important facts must be remembered..."
"I've been thinking this over," Giles said, "and I think that Mister O'Neil and Mister... Largo did do a good thing."
The two hackers grinned triumphantly.
"Although they should have asked people, first, rather than rudely force the changes upon people like this," Giles continued, in a very British manner.
"What are you running on," O'Neil asked, puzzled. "If you see a Quad Damage, do you not pick it up? If you see a Super Shotgun, do you not use it?"
"You what," Giles asked. Everyone else above thirty were equally puzzled.
"Computer game reference," Willow explained.
"So, what's the what," Xander asked.
"The first order of business is to make sure the Hellmouth stays sealed," Giles said, pointing out that their mission was to defend humanity from the supernatural, not to act as nannies.
"Is the whole 'there is no spoon' going on with the rest of the town, still," Buffy asked. "I've only just got back."
"So far, we're not sure," Giles said. "We've been more worried about Xander and you, I'm afraid."
"Hello, Marilith here," Buffy said, rolling her eyes. "Who's gonna try and mug me?"
Joyce waved a finger in Buffy's direction. "You'll always be my little girl, and you're not to take chances."
"Mum, I'm sixteen," Buffy said, a blush announcing her embarassment and love.
"We're still at the what with the hackers thing," Xander pointed out.
Post-fic Comments:
Any ideas, people? Because I'm out, I'm afraid.
Got my Easter present from Masterfoods. Six Kan Tong noodle bowls, rice, chopsticks, and a cheese grater. The Head Office is in America, so this only reinforces my opinion that Americans are weird.
Part 40
Summary: Yet another Halloween fic. With demons.
Disclaimer: I own... hmm. I own nothing. The bank owns any money I make, at the moment. The concepts building 1001Keys do not belong to me, most probably.
Feedback: Why not? It helps me write more and better...
Crossover: Megatokyo, Hackers, Addventure fanon.
Pre-fic Comments:
Writing BtVS stuff is getting to be a royal pain. I have no friggin' idea what to write for most of the fics you want done, Jessara, but I'll keep up my end of our deal.
Xander strolled down the street, bored stiff.
Times like this, he felt like hunting at the Bronze for some beautiful girl, taking her home, and chai--no! No, he /didn't!
"This sucks," he muttered. "Stupid vamps, all getting killed."
The only vampires remaining in Sunnydale were the especially stealthy ones, who preyed on the young and the sick. All the others had been dusted by their would-be victims. Werecats, it seemed, had strong survival instincts.
A silly grin grew on Xander's face. Maybe a were-tigress. None of the were-tigresses had busts less than a c-cup or so, and there wasn't a single ugly one in the lot.
He shook his head again.
Maybe he'd better go look for the others, see if there was anything to do.
"No, Xander," Giles said forcefully.
"Awwww, c'mon," Xander wheedled. "You /so/ owe me two years worth of junk food and pizza."
"Consider yourself paid, due to continuing to breath having averted apocalyptii."
"Awwww/maaan/..."
"I'm sure you can find someone else to supply your habit," Buffy offered as she entered the library.
"Which one," Xander said flippantly.
Buffy relaxed her Polyform, sliding back into her marilith shape, and settled her middle set of hands around Xander's waist, her upper set around his neck, and her lower set around his ass. Her tail wrapped around his legs. "Oh, I can think of at least one."
He had power, was sexy, was a strong Incubus, and was also a friend. This was a good way of getting him to stay around, to Buffy's mind, and she honestly did like him that way.
Xander let his human form fade, as his wings appeared, encircling the two of them. "I bet you can."
Giles coughed. "If you two really are as bored as you claim, there is a nest of human hostile demons that need to be cleaned out."
"... okay," Xander said, reluctantly.
"Fresh meat," Buffy grinned. "Let's go!"
"Erm, Buffy," Giles called out as she was about to leave.
"What's the what, G-man," Xander asked, tail lashing at being forced to go do something rather than someone.
"You might wish to assume a more... human appearance."
"Oh! Yeah."
"I never thought you could have too much of a good thing," Xander said.
"Yeah, I guess demons are kinda easy to slay these days," Buffy agreed.
"I still can't get over how they screamed when they saw you," Xander laughed. He assumed a highpitched voice. "/Aaaaa! Marilith! Ruuuun/"
"I guess even demons are scared a' something," Buffy shrugged.
"Just like G-men are scared of something," Xander asked.
Buffy grinned. "Did you see his face?"
"A-yup," Xander nodded. "Looked like he'd been rubbing nettles over his face."
"We have /got/ to do that in front of him again," the two teenagers chorused.
"You want some pizza," Xander asked. "I think I've got six bucks on me."
"Ooo! I vote we get a Godfather pizza," Buffy said.
"Hey! I want a Meatzaroni, and I only have enough cash for one pizza!"
Buffy paused. "Do you feel something?"
"A faint tugging, like something's gotten hold of one of my ears," Xander asked.
"Yeah," Buffy said. Faint memories from the demon rose within her. "I... I think it's someone doing a summons."
"No way," Xander said disbelievingly. "I want pizza. I ain't doing party tricks for some idiot looking like Marilyn Manson."
"I dunno," Buffy said. "This summony thingy seems pretty insistant."
"Dammit, I've been saving up all week for a pizza, I've been looking forwards to a pizza, and the Xan-machine is getting a pizza," Xander bitched.
"Wow, someone's getting mad," Buffy smiled. The link that had been established twitched slightly. "Ouch..."
Xander groaned, and his knees bent slightly. "okay, it just got a hold of what feels like my balls. i say we go."
Part 41
Summary: Yet another Halloween fic. With demons.
Disclaimer: I own... hmm. I own nothing. The bank owns any money I make, at the moment. The concepts building 1001Keys do not belong to me, most probably.
Feedback: Why not? It helps me write more and better...
Crossover: Megatokyo, Hackers, Addventure fanon, Naruto
Pre-fic Comments:
Mmmm... new computer case. Side window, LCD in the front... 3R make nice cases. (No, NOT 3M. Different company.) All I need is a cold cathode fluoro, and I'll be making new 3dMark records in no time! With a 1GHz Duron and a Geforce 2 MX400, no less.
Stop laughing! It runs Doom 3!
As always, Japanese speech is in "this kinda format." I'm ignoring the diffference of the two clans (Baatezu, Tanar'ri) as well as other canon facts for this.
Following a summons proved surprisingly simple. All they had to do was surrender control for a second, and the magic brought them before the summoner. They weren't in a terribly good /mood/ at being summoned, due to the pain that occured resisting it.
Xander was really, really hoping that it was a demon, so he could work off some frustration. Both sexual, moral, and scholastic.
"Okay, this is sooo depressing," Buffy said. As she had involuntarily turned back into her Marilith form, her assets were exposed to the world once her shirt exploded under the pressure of an extra four arms appearing. Not to mention her jeans fell off her long snake tail. "Are we in Deliverance?"
Xander looked around. Hopefully, none of the natives would notice him. Well, not until he transformed to human from the Incubus he was currently.
Big wooden walls, forest, guys in black with knives attacking a truly hungus fox with nine tails... "Nope, looks like ninja to me. That, and a big honkin' demon fox."
"Xen! Lath," a ferocious voice called out. "Have some fun!"
The two neo-demons looked around, to see who would know part of their Common Names. Demons, true demons, have three names -- their nicknames, with no power, their common names, useful for... not much, really, and their True Names, with which a mortal demonlogist may attempt to control even a Balor.
And they didn't even remember their demonic gift of Tongues, and the ability to understand all communication.
"... Ninetails," Xander asked incredulously, memories from the Incubus who had merged with him flooding forwards. "Didn't your parents make you take those anger management classes?"
"What," Buffy said. "Send me back! I've got stuff to do!"
"Sorry, Lath, for taking you away from your duties as a General to Levistus. I'll make it up to him," the Kyuubi said. A vicious grin creased it's face. "But all this blood and death made me think of you!"
"I don't think he knows that we're not on his side," Xander whispered to Buffy.
"Follow my lead," Buffy murmured back. "Hey, Drinker, come here."
The Ninetailed Demon Fox turned, lowering it's massive head to look at the Marilith. Using the psionic power and knowledge of the demon general, Buffy ensnared the mind of the Kyuubi, causing it to go catatonic as it fought against an attack from an unexpected quarter.
Xander turned after a few seconds. The ninja who had been attacking before all looked wary, crouching between the corpses of their fellow ninja who had died under the assault.
"What're you waiting for," Xander asked incredulously. "Christmas?"
"More demons," Morino Shinji asked, from where he studied the battle. His clan's talents ran more to stealth and information than out and out war. "I'm beginning to think Heaven punishes us for something."
"No," Sandaime, former Hokage said, breathing heavily as he took a short break from fighting. Enma, Monkey King and his summons, launched himself at the immobile Demon Fox. "I think this is a blessing from Heaven -- strife and war causes growth."
"It still isn't good," Morino said, eyes fixed on the battle below.
"No," Sandaime agreed. "But that is life."
With that, he leapt down to join Yondaime, current Hokage and leader of Konoha Hidden Village, in the battle for survival.
Kyuubi screamed as Xander's iron hard claws slashed through his large left eye, Xander's bat-like wings carrying him away from the Ninetails after the attack and dodging the blind swipe as Buffy's mental concentration lapsed.
"Xen! Even Asmodeus' curse upon Baalzebub will seem pale in comparison to how I will punish you and Lath for this!"
"Promises, promises," Xander said teasingly, wings flicking as he dodged another swipe. He moved more as one of the mighty tails lashed at him.
"Get back from there, before you're sucked in as well," a strong old voice roared out at Xander.
Xander turned to see a greying haired man with a goatee besides a blonde with messy hair. "What?"
Part 42
Summary: Yet another Halloween fic. With demons.
Disclaimer: I own... hmm. I own nothing. The bank owns any money I make, at the moment. The concepts building 1001Keys do not belong to me, most probably.
Feedback: Why not? It helps me write more and better...
Crossover: Megatokyo, Hackers, Addventure fanon, Naruto
Pre-fic Comments:
In 1642, Alan wrote a fic part. Um... seriously, though, the filename for this part is 'btvs.au.16.42.txt'.
If I'm lucky, I'm two days and a paycheck away from ordering an Athlon64 3000+ with a Geforce 6600GT, upgrading from a Duron 1GHz with a Geforce 2 MX400. As you can no doubt tell, this will be a slight change of affairs, and one or two games may run a smidgen faster. Maybe I'll even get an extra frame per second or so, who knows. I doubt it, but I'm hopeful.
DAMMIT! THIS WAITING IS SHEER HELL!
Xander absently moved to the side in the air, batwings beating quickly, as a huge hand appeared out of the blonde guy's chest and reached for the monstrous demon fox.
"Okay, who was dumb enough to summon Death," Buffy demanded.
"We have. No. Choice," the blonde said, from where he stood with a huge, ghostly white figure standing behind him, with the figure reaching into a ghostly-blonde's chest.
"All those in favour of kicking ass, then going home," Xander said out loud.
Buffy put three of her six hands up, tail lashing.
"Why are you shivering," Morino Shinji quietly asked Sandaime, the former leader of Konoha.
"Do you know what those two are," Sandaime hissed. "One is a general of Hell, and the other is a sex demon!"
The hardened interrogation expert blushed slightly. "Sex!"
Sandaime nodded wordlessly.
Both looked towards a middle aged man with a huge cloud of spiky white hair in traditional clothing. Both decided in that instant to make sure that the demon and the frog hermit never met, else the women of Konoha be seduced as well as peeped upon and groped.
"Do you think you could convince them to be nice to us," Shinji asked Sandaime.
"Nope."
"Damn."
"This was sooo wrong," Buffy muttered, as she stared.
"Total agreement," Xander said, as the blonde guy finished his weird ceremony with the God of Death. "I mean, I thought we had it bad."
The Marilith picked up the infant that the now-dead Yondaime had sealed the demon fox into. "Who's a cute lil' demon? You, yes you!"
'Cute lil demon,' Xander mouthed.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "I don't know what to do with kids! I'm not domestic and sh-t!"
"Even I know that babies are supposed to be wrapped up in blankets," Xander pointed out.
Buffy quickly fixed her mistake with a pair of arms, while the other two pairs held the infant up. "Whatever. Who's in charge of the kid, now?"
"Pass him here," the old man said. Xander thought his name was 'Sarutobi' or something.
"Okay," Buffy said immediately, passing the newborn over. "What's his name, anyway?"
"Naruto," Sarutobi, Sandaime and previous Hokage leader of Konoha village said. "Naruto Uzumaki."
"Man alive, do I feel sorry for him," Xander said. "I mean, you got your parents slash significant other slash kids killed by a demon, and you've got a kid wandering around with the demon. Can we say transferred feelings?"
"Is that the right word for it," Buffy said, unsure.
"I dunno, probably."
Xander crouched by the old man, so that his face was right next to the kid's. "Okay, Nate, this is how you do that neato mouth thing."
Sandaime looked at the other demon, confused as well now. "Is this man... working with a full scroll?"
"Who, Xander," Buffy said, as Xander made burping noises, trying to teach the kid. "Willow thinks so, but me, Mum and Giles figure not."
Post-fic Comments:
Stole the domestic comment from Xzibit in a PMR episode.
Part 43
Summary: Yet another Halloween fic. With demons.
Disclaimer: I own... hmm. I own nothing. The bank owns any money I make, at the moment. The concepts building 1001Keys do not belong to me, most probably.
Feedback: Why not? It helps me write more and better...
Crossover: Megatokyo, Hackers, Addventure fanon, Naruto
Pre-fic Comments:
Don't think I wasn't tempted to play Vampire - Bloodlines instead of write this. Because VtM:B is an extremely good game.
I think I'm going to go play it (as Gangrel -- can't play as Lasombra, Camarilla only, and no antitribu) right after I post this.
"Reports are coming in from all over the globe of people afflicted with tranformations into species other than cats," the pretty jaguar newsreader(ess) said, a picture of a scaled being behind her. "Scientists are working as I speak to find similarities between the so-called werecat condition and this new were-reptile condition."
"That is /so/ wrong," Willow said, shaking her head.
"Demons passing themselves off as human," Giles said, looking up from his books. "A surprising amount of half-demons did so already."
They were at Giles' house, investigating books for some clue as to locating Xander and Buffy. The working hypothesis was that the two had teleported somewhere, so they were looking for some ritual to get them back.
"I still can't believe that /you/ have a TV," Willow continued. "I mean, that's like learning that Principal Snyder watches My Little Pony. Not that I'm saying he does, of course."
"Erm, yes, well," Giles stuttered, not answering that at all. "We are exceedingly lucky that the vampire and hostile demon population seems to be lying low at the moment."
"Yeah, could be worse," Willow said. She frowned. "Damn costume! I could've been an adorable, cute, cuddly little kitty cat, but /nooooo, Mister Stinky Face has to stick me with turning into a vampiress!"
"I quite assure you, there is a very long list of people after Ethan's head as it is," Giles said. "Er, when did your parents require you to be home by?"
Willow looked at the clock. "Omigod! Igottagoseeyabyebye!"
Giles sighed, as she picked up her widebrimmed hat and checked her gloves were on before running out the door, sunlight not touching a single patch of her undead skin.
"Now how do we get home," Buffy wondered out loud.
"I'm afraid we don't have any dimensional teleportation techniques," Sarutobi said, jiggling the baby to keep it quiet.
"Yes! You've almost got it," Xander cheered at the baby.
"What are you talking about," Sarutobi asked, looking down at infant Naruto and Xander.
The newborn blew a raspberry at the distinguished old shinobi.
"Cool! Next, I'll teach you how to blow up the school toilets, kiddo," Xander promised.
"He's a bit young for that, Xander," Buffy pointed out.
"Stealing the toilet seats, then?"
"Still too old."
"Blocking up the sinks with toilet paper?"
"His arms are like /way/ too short for that, Xander," Buffy pointed out.
"Errr... peeing on people when he's getting his nappies changed?"
"Yeah, that's about his speed right now."
"SANDAIME," a voice called out.
"What is it," Sarutobi asked, looking up to find a group of ninja approaching.
"We need to execute the Kyuubi right away," the spokesperson, Yamazaki Inoshi called out. He'd just made chuunin, and his very pregnant wife had been endangered by falling debris'.
"This is the vessel of Kyuubi, not Kyuubi himself," Sarutobi responded, rocking the infant in his arms. Naruto had fallen asleep.
"We need you to be Hokage again, now that Yondaime-sama has fallen," another ninja implored.
Sarutobi held up a hand. "Now is not the time to be making decisions -- we need to wait until tempers have cooled and the council has decided on matters. I may have been Hokage in the past, but I am not Hokage now."
"Whosa cute lil' demon," Buffy cooed at the baby. "Yesyouare, yesyouare!"
"Erm, Buff," Xander asked, poking her. "Not helping here."
"Who are these two," Inoshi asked.
"Us? Just dimensionally lost travellers," Xander said flippantly.
"What are we going to do with you," Sarutobi asked rhetorically.
Post-fic Comments:
Here ya go, Jessara.
Well, I was going to play V:Bloodlines. But Atomic just arrived, so I'll read that :D