A/N: This was written by my boyfriend, Anika Malfoy (okay, really my best friend, but we like to pretend) in response to mine. Which resulted in a response…which resulted in a response….

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the bag of chips I am eating…and those are dwindling fast.

Title: Hope?

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'Shit!' James thought, as he slowly woke. He had a massive hangover and last night was a distinct blur.

Slowly, James pulled scraps of memory from his foggy brain. He remembered talking to Evans, remembered thinking about how Sirius had been starting to question why he hadn't asked her out in so long. He remembered his sudden loneliness inspiring him to lean in and kiss her. He remembered thinking that a certain dark-haired Slytherin would taste better.

James closed his eyes, he had run then. Run all the way to the Three Broomsticks and tried to drink away his feelings. Tried to drink away the memory of how wrong it felt to have Lily's full lips kissing his, or her curvy body pressed against him. He tried to drink away the fantasy of a harder body, and seductive blue eyes. It hadn't worked.

James had been thrown out by Rosmerta, and remembered meeting Regulus. He remembered how looking into those eyes, the eyes he had dreamed of for years, had pushed him over the edge. He had confessed everything and had even kissed those succulent lips.

"Shit!" James groaned, burying his face in the pillow. He was dead now. If Regulus and the Slytherin's didn't kill him, then Sirius would. "Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Bloody blasted SHIT!"

"Bad night there, mate?" came an amused voice from outside his curtains.

James groaned again, the last thing he needed was Sirius to start in on the questioning. "Go away, Sirius. I'm not in the mood."

The bed curtains where violently ripped open, allowing ungodly amounts of light to shine down on the unprotected Gryffindor. "Shit!" James yelled as the light increased his hangover-induced headache by ten fold. The bespectacled boy silently vowed never to drink again.

"That seems to be the word of the morning. Care to explain why?" Sirius laughed, sitting at the foot of the bed.

"Given the situation, I think that it is a very appropriate word," James glared at his friend. As much as he loved Sirius, he really wanted to kill him right now.

"Hangover?" Sirius chuckled, grabbing his wand and muttering a handy little anti-hangover charm that Remus had invented just after last New Year. The charm had been greatly appreciated considering Sirius had snuck firewhiskey into the common room and most of the Gryffindor sixth and seventh years had helped to consume unfathomable amounts of alcohol.

"Thanks," James sighed. That was one problem out of the way, now he only had about a million worse ones. At least it was easier to think without his head pounding painfully.

"So, I hear you finally snogged Evans. Out celebrating, were you?" Sirius stood, walking across the room to his trunk and pulling out some clean clothes.

James looked around, wondering where Peter and Remus were. He didn't really care, but it was a nice way to avoid looking at Sirius. He could never lie to Sirius. The boys had been friends for years, and Sirius could almost always see through his lies. Except that the boy hadn't seen through his supposed love of Lily. He hadn't seen through James's mask of not caring about Regulus…of not hurting every time they pushed the Slytherin farther away.

"I was in mourning," James confessed. He couldn't lie now. Lying now would mean that he would be harassed into dating Lily, and that wasn't fair to the girl. "I don't love her, Siri."

Sirius looked over at his friend, eyes wide with shock. "Since when? I thought she was your soul-mate."

James sighed, "Since forever. I never liked her. She's pretty and all, she's just…not my type."

"What do you mean?" Sirius was once again sitting at the foot of James's bed.

"I mean…I love someone else. Someone who would never return my feelings," James looked up and met his friend's blue eyes. Blue eyes that were so similar to Regulus's and yet so different. Blue eyes that would be looking at him with hatred if the boy behind them knew that James was in love with Sirius's brother.

"Who?" Sirius whispered the one question that James was too scared to answer.

"I can't tell you. It doesn't matter anyway. He doesn't, couldn't, feel the same," James looked away, not being able to stand those eyes any longer. He couldn't stand the memories they brought him of Regulus's eyes looking at him with mistrust, dislike, suspicion. Couldn't stand that he knew there was one memory there of them that hadn't surfaced yet…the memory of how the eyes had to have looked at him with disgust after James confessed his love and kissed him.

"He?" Sirius asked timidly.

"He," James nodded. No use in denying it. At least this way Sirius wouldn't be pushing him to date some girl again.

"Someone I know?"

"It's not you or Remus or Pete, so you can stop sounding so worried," James still couldn't meet those eyes.

"It's Regulus, isn't it?"

James looked up quickly, only to find that Sirius was now staring at the bedspread. Maybe Sirius could see through more of his mask than he had thought. "What would make you say that?" Denial was good.

"I've seen the way you watch him. You've never looked at Lily like that," Sirius looked up at James, forcing his friend to hold his gaze. "How long?"

"Forever. Practically since I first saw him," James whispered. If Sirius had known, then why did he seem so shocked when James said that he loved someone other than Lily? Why had he pushed James to date Lily?

"I've tried for years to convince myself that I was wrong, that you hated him. Almost worked," Sirius shook his head, "I don't know that I like this."

"Doesn't change what I feel," James said, defiantly. He wouldn't hide his feelings for Sirius's sake any longer; that was what got him to this point. "Doesn't matter anyway, he doesn't feel the same. It's hopeless."

James stood and pulled out clean clothes, avoiding looking at Sirius. He didn't want to deal with this now. He didn't want to have this talk while his mind was still having flashbacks of the moment that James leaned in and his lips touched Regulus's. Of Regulus gasping and freezing in shock. He didn't remember the boy pulling away, but that was the one consideration his mind gave him. He didn't think he could handle the knowledge that Regulus hated him now more than ever before.

"Can we talk about this later? Let's just go to breakfast," James begged, finally meeting Sirius's eyes.

Sirius nodded, and silently stood up. James wondered, briefly, what his friend was thinking. Sirius was never silent about his opinion, why was he silent now?

It didn't matter. He didn't want to think now, and Sirius's silence was a mercy.

When they reached the Great Hall, James had to use every ounce of courage he had to walk through those doors. When he did, he stared at the ground, afraid to look up. He knew that the second his eyes left the ground, they would roam to the Slytherin table, and he didn't think he could stand the disgust that he knew would be in Regulus's eyes.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked as Sirius and James sat down.

Neither boy answered, but James finally looked up. He glanced at Sirius, then Remus, then, slowly, let his eyes travel across the hall. He couldn't run away, couldn't hide. He was a Gryffindor, and he had to face his fears. Maybe, when he acknowledged his rejection, Regulus would leave his thoughts. Maybe he could finally move on.

Brown eyes met blue and the world faded. There was no disgust in that gaze. There was no hatred. There was confusion, and doubt, and a world of other emotions that flickered so fast that James had no time to identify them. But behind it all, there was an emotion that James recognized all too well; it had been in his own eyes every time he had seen Regulus for years.

'Maybe,' James thought, 'it's not so hopeless after all.' Maybe he did stand a chance of having the one thing he had always wanted. Maybe Regulus loved him back.