A/N: I think this is turning into a competition. Write a chapter to make your counterpart need to write the next. shakes head Tis fun!

Disclaimer: My chips are gone…now I own nothing. Pout

"Hi," came a shy voice behind James.

James suddenly felt the urge to run again. He didn't know what to say to Lily after last night. Turning, James put on a sad smile, "Hey, Lils."

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, her eyes worried.

'Great…now I'm going to upset her,' James sighed. He hated upsetting the girl. He had pretended to love her for years, and he had actually grown quite fond of the girl, just not in a romantic way. "Lils, about last night…"

"I know," Lily sighed. "You running off right after you kissed me kinda hinted at you not being pleased with the kiss."

"It's not that!" James looked into Lily's green eyes and once again wished that things were simple. Why couldn't he just love the beautiful girl in front of him? "I just…I'm in love with someone else."

"What?" Lily whispered, tears coming to her eyes.

James cringed. He didn't want to hurt Lily. He had never wanted that. Lily was beautiful, funny, feisty, everything he should want in a lover. But she wasn't what he wanted, she wasn't who he wanted.

"It's just…" James looked away. "I'm in love with this guy. I have been for a long time. I just didn't want to admit it. But after last night…I can't, I won't use you like that."

"So you just used me for the past six years? You just made me think you loved me long enough for me to fall in love with you! And now you get a conscience?" Lily smacked James across the cheek.

James looked at Lily, pleading for understanding. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I honestly chose you because I didn't think you would ever feel anything for me! You never did before!"

"Who is he? I have a right to know that much," Lily's eyes were cold.

"Regulus Black," James whispered. "But please don't tell anyone. I don't even know if anything can happen between us. I mean…I told him how I felt…but I was drunk."

"When?" Lily's voice was harsher now, and James realized just how much that last comment would hurt the girl.

"Last night," James sighed, "I'm so sorry Lils."

Lily sniffed, obviously holding back her tears. "Right. You're sorry. That just makes everything better then, doesn't it? You told some guy you loved him right after kissing me!"

"Lils…" he really didn't know what to say. He knew that anything he said would hurt the girl, but he had to make her understand. Maybe, if she could understand, she could forgive him someday. "I didn't mean to tell him. I was drunk. I just…I saw him and it came out. I don't know that I would have ever told him otherwise."

"Why did you do this to me?" Lily whispered.

"I didn't mean it…I never wanted to hurt you. I really care about you, Lils. I just don't…love you," James closed his eyes. He wasn't sure what to do anymore.

Lily gave a sad smile. "I know. We can't choose who we love."

James opened his eyes and met Lily's, "And the ones we love don't always love us back."

"No, they don't," Lily sighed, "Good luck, James. I really hope things work out for you."

"Thanks Lils," James leaned in and hugged her.

He hated that he had made this girl hurt. He hated that she was probably going upstairs now to cry. He hated that all he wanted was to find Regulus and kiss him again, beg him to return his love. Why couldn't things be simple?

"Lily?" James called, watching the girl pause on the stairs. "I would have been lucky to have you. I may be in love with Regulus, but I'm not blind. You are the most amazing woman I have ever known."

"James…don't. Just don't." And Lily walked up the stairs, leaving James standing alone.

"She doesn't want to hear that you wish you loved her," Sirius's voice came from the portrait hole.

James sighed. Why did everyone suddenly talk to him like he had committed some crime? He couldn't help loving Regulus.

"I know. I just…"

"You were trying to make yourself feel better. Trying to lessen your guilt. Being selfish," Sirius glared, walking past James and up the stairs.

James sat on the couch. Sirius was harsh, but he was right. His last comment to Lily had been selfish. He just…didn't know what to do anymore. He felt like he was losing everything because he was in love. Love wasn't supposed to hurt this much!

"I'm sorry," James whispered to his hands, wishing that the words would mean something to somebody.