Summary: Back! The Slayer is worse than ever!

Crossover: Bastard!!, Slayers

Disclaimer: I don't own Bastard!!, Slayers, or Buffy the Vampire Shagger. Although, if the respective owners want to swap for a couple of CDs that's fine.

Feedback: Yeah, baby!

Pre-fic comments:

'Noir' really has a very good OST... very spanish, that type of kidney. 'Quake' also has a very good soundtrack, but is a different type of good. More scary, DeadCanDance type of good. And 'Hellsing - RAID' OST is jazzy, but more bass and piano than trumpets and horns. Except that *no one* knows exactly what the lyrics are for the opening track.

I've run out of ideas for Provocation past "This is what happens in canon, look, this is where it changed!" transcript mods.

* * *

The next morning found Willow and Xander greeting the day with new enthusiasm. It was a new year! A year where they would blitz their classes, whoop ass, and have fun!

As they meandered into school, they spotted Giles and Miss Calendar, talking. Snyder was far away enough that they felt comfortable in greeting Giles as they always did.

"Giles!," Willow yelled. He'd be happy that Buffy was back.

"G-man! Whazzup?," Xander grinned irreverently, hoping to embarass the Brit in front of his girlfriend.

"Nice to see you," Giles reciprocated. He hoped that the three had had a good vacation. "And don't ever call me that."

Xander's grin widened -- now he had something that he /knew/ Giles would respond to.

"Hi, kids," Miss Calendar greeted.

"Hi!," Willow said. Miss Calendar was one of her favourite teachers -- she taught computers, wasn't a hundred years old, and had a great 'tude.

Buffy came up behind them, and was greeted by Giles with "How are you?"

"Live and kicking," Buffy said, understating the matter.

"Buffy and Xander killed a vampire last night," Willow interjected.

The others winced at her volume, and looked around to see if any of the students or teachers had heard her.

"Uh, I think you can get a little more volume if you speak from the diaphragm," Buffy instructed Willow.

"Sorry."

"We've got vampires?," the computer teacher asked. "I thought the Hellmouth was closed."

"Well, it's it's closed but not gone," Giles explained. "The mystical energy that emanates from it is still concentrated in this area."

"Which means we're still the undead's favourite party town," Xander observed. "More targets!"

Giles took off his glasses and started cleaning them. "Ah, Xander, please refrain from damaging the town any more than it has been already. I wonder if they're here for any purpose, specifically?"

"You're the Watcher," Buffy teased. "I just work here."

"But you work so well," Xander grinned.

"Y-Yes, I must consult my books," Giles decided, about to hurry off.

"Oh, eight minutes and thirty eight seconds! Pay up!," Xander smirked, as Willow handed him a dollar. He explained this to the others. "I called ten minutes before you'd consult your books about something. Thanks, Willow."

The bell rang, indicating that all good ickle students should scurry off to their classie-wassies.

"We better get to class," Willow commented, good student that she was.

"Oh, uh, Buffy!," Giles called out as the three started to move off. "I realise that you've only just returned, but when you're ready I think that we should resume your training."

"I'm ready," Buffy replied. "I'll see you after school."

"Well, I understand, i-if you want a few days to...," Giles trailed off.

"I'm ready," the Slayer said, annoyed. She wasn't weak, and she refused to appear weak. To anyone. She still felt she had to prove herself, that she was the top of the food chain in Sunnydale.

"Sweetage! Hot Slayer action after school!," Xander cheered, always ready to see girls bouncing around, whether they be cheerleaders or slayers.

* * *

The night after, Willow and Xander decided to go Bronzing. This lack of vampires was dead boring, and Xander had decided he needed a night of mindless self indulgence to make up for all the graveyard shifts he'd been pulling with Buffy over the last two nights. A live band was playing that night, a New Zealand band called 'The Feelers'. They were currently beginning a song called 'Friend'.

"I just think something's up, is all," Willow said to Xander, having to speak loudly to be heard over the music. She took another bite of her icecream, which was on special tonight.

"Willow, you're paranoid," Xander retorted. He found it hard to believe that Buffy was getting up to mischief.

"Buffy's never acted like this before!," Willow argued. "Ever since she got back she's been... different."

"Buffy's always been different," Xander pointed out.

Willow laid down an ace. "She's never been mean."

'Until now' hung in the air between them.

Xander exhaled noisily, accepting Willow's point. "Any sign of her? She said she was coming."

"No," Willow said. "The band's cool, though."

"Yeah, cool."

Willow deliberately dipped her face into her icecream, leaving a dot of it on her nose. She smiled, trying to get Xander's attention.

This flirting stuff sure was hard.

"You've got something on your nose," Xander pointed out, making no attempt to remove it.

Grrr... men!

Willow wiped the icecream and the smile off her face, as Buffy entered the Bronze, talking briefly to Angel. The band finished their song and started another one -- "Pull The Strings".

"Hey!," Buffy greeted her two friends as she came near them.

"Hi," Willow returned. Xander added a "Hey."

"What's wrong with Angel?," Willow asked. He looked kinda down and annoyed.

"Beats me," Buffy shrugged. Willow had thought Buffy would have a clue after /talking/ to the vampire.

"Lets dance," Buffy said to Xander, pulling him up from his seat by his shirt.

"Ooo-kay," Xander said, not daring to question his good fortune. He'd been having these feelings for Buffy for awhile, now...

The fast, fast music meant that Buffy was moving at a rate that Xander couldn't hope to match, so he danced as best he could. His eyebrows rose into his hairline as she practically made out with him on the dancefloor. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Deadboy developing a jealous look on his face.

"Xander?," Buffy asked. "Did I ever... thank you for saving our lives?"

The innuendo behind her statement was glaringly obvious.

"No...," Xander trailed off, waiting to see what had prompted her change of heart.

"Don't you wish I would?," she asked, as she continued to move quickly, in time with the music.

The short Slayer abruptly broke off, moving away from Xander and leaving him on the dancefloor.

Okay, Xander had no clue what prompted that, but he knew when he was being used. And Buffy was using him to make Deadboy jealous, that was obvious.

He wished that fireballs, demons, and shamanic magic could be used to fix problems like this, too. The budding mage slowly moved back to the table where Willow was staring in disbelief, a troubled expression on his face.

"What the hell was that all about?," Xander asked out loud, Willow listening in. "I think she just used me like an old rag, to make Captain Hairgel go for her."

* * *

Post-fic comments:

Regarding the 'Sweetage!' line. One word: bounce.

I know that it is extremely unlikely that The Feelers would go to America to play at the Bronze, but this is my fic. I've never heard of that 'Cibo Matto' band from canon, and needed a band I /have/ heard of (and like.) The song during the dance is kinda appropriate, if you change the gender nouns in it.

Buffy's probably being rather stupid, doing that to a powerful mage. Could it be that she's proving her status through daring him to retaliate?