Summary: Down! The Slayer wants up!
Crossover: Bastard!!, Slayers
Disclaimer: I don't own Bastard!!, Slayers, or Buffy the Vampire Shagger. Although, if the respective owners want to swap for a couple of CDs that's fine.
Feedback: Yeah, baby!
Pre-fic comments:
Why Pepsi? Because I like Mountain Dew.
* * *
Xander and Willow, the next morning, were chillin' with the G-man in the student lounge. The two teenagers watched the aging Englishman try to coax a can of Pepsi from the can machine. Giles' distraction from the machine while he talked with the two probably explained some of his apparently difficulty.
"Possessed?," Giles asked.
"She practically made out with me in public after talking with Deadboy, then dumped my ass like a year old twinkie," Xander groused.
"That's not like Buffy," Willow added. In her experience, Buffy was normally more considerate.
"I'd like to think that she's attracted to me, but if so then she wouldn't run so quick," Xander explained, adding another point of view.
"Well, if she is possessed as you hypothesize, then what might she be possessed /by/?," Giles asked.
"Aaaa possessing thing!," Willow desperately said.
"Well, that narrows it down," Giles said, voice laced liberally with sarcasm.
"I know of some spells that can possess people, but they kinda have to be corpses first," Xander mused. "Not happening, in other words. Hey, maybe it's something about her Slayerlyness."
"It could be," Willow said doubtfully. "Where does the Slayer power come from, exactly?"
The two turned their heads to Giles, who concentrated on the can machine. He managed to extract a can of Mountain Dew from it, and opened it. Giles winced at the sweetness of the drink, but continued to drain it nonetheless.
"Well, Council records are rather ancient on that account," Giles said, deciding to go for obfuscation.
"Great, unreadable in other words," Willow frowned. "That has to be it, though. There has to be some reason for her acting like a B I T C H."
"Willow, I think we're a little old to be spelling things out," Giles said dryly.
"A bitca?," Xander asked, deliberately mispronouncing the word.
"Yes," Giles said, moving on. "I suggest that the explanation for her behaviour may be something more mundane."
Xander yawned as the bell rang. He foresaw a lecture on psychology, if he wasn't careful.
"She's convinced herself that--," Giles began.
Xander spotted the topic of discussion walking into the student lounge. "Sure, Willow, here's that book."
Giles stopped in confusion, until Xander gestured at Buffy with his eyes. The mage pulled out the Primer, pausing as he handed it to Willow.
"Hey, G-man, could you photocopy this? I mean, I'd like to keep a copy of this while Willow's borrowing it."
"Er, quite," Giles said. He doubted the copyright holders for it were going to come after him with lead pipes. "Good morning, Buffy. Sleep well?"
"Like a rock," Buffy said, dismissing his greeting. "Master's gone."
"Thank you, Miss Queen of Brevity," Xander said, still sore at Buffy.
"The Master," Buffy said, recognising a prompt when she heard one. "I went by his grave last night, and they have a vacancy."
"Good God!," Giles said. He looked quite shocked.
Heck, Xander was surprised he managed to leave so much as bones, after getting hit with a Dragon Slave. Nevermind that they were relatively intact.
"What would someone want with Master bones?," Willow asked.
"A trophy, a horrible conversation piece?," Xander ventured. "A really macabre coffee table?"
"I hope they're not gonna bring suck-face back," Buffy said. "Didn't you say he was history?"
"Buffy, I've never heard of a revivification ritual being successful," Giles said.
"They exist?," Buffy asked. "Gee, thanks for the warning."
"Well, Buffy, Giles did bury him and--," Willow started to explain before being rudely cut off.
"Look, this is Slayer stuff, okay?," Buffy snapped. "Could we just have a little less from the civilians?"
"Okay, I've had enough!," Xander shouted. "Who killed him? Who's been helping your blonde ass?"
They would have quite merrily continued their argument slash fight if Principal Snyder hadn't interrupted, sending the students to class and the librarian to the library.
* * *
After school, the three gathered in the library. Xander and Buffy hadn't gotten into a fight, but that was mainly due to Willow staying neutral.
"Alright, alright, I-I-I've got something," Giles said. "It's Latin, so bear with me. Uh, to revive the vampire they need his bones, uh... w-which they have, and, um, the blood... this is very unclear, of the closest person... uh, someone connected to the vampire."
"That would be... who?," Buffy asked. "His last childe, last meal, love of his life, what?"
"Nothing else?," Xander asked.
"Nothing is immediately obvious," Giles hedged.
"Well, is there anything on when the ceremony might take--," Xander began to ask. "Whoa!"
A rock crashing through a window kinda interrupted him, somewhat.
The Slayer caught it easily, unwrapping the note held in place by a bracelet. She read it out loud.
"'Come to the Bronze, or we make her a meal'," Buffy read. She held up the bracelet. "This is Cordelia's."
"What do we do?," Willow asked.
"I go to the Bronze and save the day," Buffy said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I? What's this I business?," Xander asked. "I thought we covered this when we creamed the Master."
"I'm the Slayer," Buffy blew up. "You're just a two bit wannabe mage who couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag!"
Xander was obviously hurt by this, before his face was shuttered. "Fine. Go, then, Lady High Empress Slayer."
"Er, it might be a good idea if someone went with you," Giles attempted to mediate.
"No!," Buffy said before running out the door.
* * *
Post-fic comments:
Sure is a lot of interruptions in this part. Dunno why.