A/N: Horrid stupid Yamis that won't let their Hikaris have any emotional peace! How can I not respond to that? How can I not have Regulus explain? Egad I was hoping to avoid writing Regulus's POV for a few more chapters.

…On second thought…maybe I won't have to.

The great amount of commotion coming from a classroom that should have been empty was what caught Sirius's attention. Logically, it could be Peeves but he usually had more class than that. He didn't randomly tear up classrooms just for the sake of making a mess.

He peeked open the door, and was rather surprised at what he saw. Regulus was in there, turning over desks, kicking things, and screaming obscenities that would make a sailor blush. Sirius decided he had officially gone mad.

He was about to close the door again and leave Regulus to his fit when he noticed something. Something that awakened in him feelings he had long suppressed. Regulus was crying. Not a few tears that could have been caused by him screwing his eyes shut as he swore. No, he was full out crying with body wracking sobs between strings of cursing and tears splashing off his face in mini waterfalls.

It had been years, probably almost seven in fact, since Sirius had seen Regulus cry. He hadn't seen his little brother cry once since the first summer he got back from Hogwarts. Regulus had been ten, and Sirius had started to cause trouble as usual. He'd gone to far that time, and his father had hit him. Regulus had started to cry for Sirius's pain, and been hit worse than Sirius. He was informed that Blacks didn't cry, and he never had again.

There he was now, however, crying like a child throwing a tantrum. It was so uncharacteristic of him that Sirius couldn't ignore the brotherly instincts that were telling him that something was terribly wrong.

He pushed the door open all the way and stepped inside, silently watching his little brother for a moment as Regulus gave one of the desks a mighty shove that sent it crashing to the ground. "Regulus what are you doing?"

Regulus turned to him then, and what he saw in his brother's eyes genuinely frightened the eighteen-year-old Gryffindor. He was used to defiance, anger, and resentment there. He'd even seen tenderness, adoration, and affection in those blue eyes once. Now there was…nothing. They were the eyes of someone that was empty. Broken.

"What the hell…" Sirius asked aloud.

Regulus didn't respond, instead charging at his brother. "You! You put him up to this! You had too!"

Caught of guard, Sirius was bludgeoned by blows for several seconds before he managed to catch the smaller boy's wrists. Sirius could only gape as Regulus stood, his face turned mostly away, sobbing.

"Regulus, what has gotten into you?" Never in Sirius's memory had Regulus physically attacked anyone. He was quite capable of throwing a good curse or jinx your way, but he'd never lost control enough to forget his wand and simply run at someone with his fists flying.

Instead of answering, Regulus looked at him again with his eerie broken eyes. "You knew it! Somehow you knew how much it would hurt me, and so you put him up to it! You think it's all a big joke don't you? Bet you think it's funny that you can make your little brother cry! I hate you! I hate you, and I hate him, and damn it why do I care why can't you just leave me the hell alone!"

Sirius let go of Regulus's wrists and the younger boy fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around himself and shivering. Having no idea what he was supposed to have done, Sirius knelt beside him.

"This is about James, isn't it? About what he said last night…" It didn't make sense. If it were about that then Regulus should have been laughing. Laughing at the pain he caused James, not sitting here looking like he was dying inside.

"I can't love him, don't you understand that? I want to and I can't and you just keep rubbing my face in it! Does this amuse you, Sirius? Do you think it's funny to dangle what I can't have in front of me?"

"I'm not dangling anything in front of you, you little whelp," Sirius responded instinctively, getting to his feet.

Regulus looked up sharply, and Sirius reached for his wand. Nothing happened. Regulus did nothing but blink his suddenly to old eyes at him. Sirius lowered his wand slowly.

"You're really hurting, aren't you?"

Even now, Regulus laughed. A laugh that was cold and hard and sent shivers of terror down Sirius's spine. "No shit, Sherlock. Regular genius aren't you?"

Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to be mad. He should have left right then and not looked back, but the way Regulus now had his knees pulled up to his chest as he rocked back and forth somehow made him stay. He couldn't just leave him like that.

No one with any kind of heart could leave him like that, and heart was something Sirius had plenty of.

"Regulus…what's wrong?"

"I told you already," Regulus replied wetly, not lifting his chin from where it was resting on his knees to look at Sirius. "I can't love him. I want to but I just…I can't. I'm to much of a coward for that."

"Loving James has nothing to do with being a coward…"

"It has everything to do with it!" Regulus jumped to his feet now, staring down at Sirius like a frightened animal. "Don't you understand that? Loving him would cost me everything! Everything I've worked for and fought for. I can't do that."

"Then you don't deserve James's love." Sirius said darkly, standing up. "He would do the same for you and more."

Regulus laughed bitterly. "You don't understand. Of course you don't. You never did. Everything comes down to me."

"Little self-important, aren't we?"

"Don't you get it, Sirius? Because of you, I'm the last of the Blacks! I'm the one that everyone is looking too to lead the family! I'm the one who can't screw up or we're all ruined! Because of you I'm expected to take the mark, and lead, and do great things! Because of you I can't love him!"

"Because of…" Sirius didn't know what to think. How was he supposed to respond to that? Was he right? Confused and hating it, Sirius reverted to his default setting when dealing with Regulus. Anger. "You can't go blaming all your problems on me, you great idiot! If you hate it so much then do something about it! You're a bloody great coward, or else like playing the martyr shit."

"And that," Regulus laughed again, the same eerie dead laugh, "is where the courage comes in. I always admired you, you know. You don't need anyone. Not me. I need people to love me."

Sirius backed away, feeling his anger leaving him at his brother's tone. "Regulus…I…"

"Go away."

Sirius blinked, but he didn't need to be told twice. This whole situation was far to weird for him. Everything he thought he knew was now crashing around his ears, and if Regulus was to believed, he was the one doing it.

Sirius walked to the library, slumped into a table, and chose to stare at the ceiling. What was he supposed to believe now? Up until last night the world had been so black and white. Easy to see, easy to deal with. Suddenly it was all one murky shade of grey.

There was only one thing Sirius knew for certain. James would never find out what happened in that classroom. If he knew that there was a chance Regulus loved him but wouldn't love him it would kill him. This was a secret Sirius was determined to take with him to his grave.