Summary: Up! Slayers are going out!

Crossover: Bastard!!, Slayers

Disclaimer: I don't own Bastard!!, Slayers, or Buffy the Vampire Shagger. Although, if the respective owners want to swap for a couple of CDs that's fine.

Feedback: Yeah, baby!

Pre-fic comments:

Got an idea from my 'crossdressing as Naga' comment.

* * *

Xander, while he still wasn't prepared to throw himself at the Slayer and demand sex after what happened at the Bronze, was starting to mellow towards the short blonde after her, Willow, and Angel turned up at that warehouse to save him from being vamp fodder. So when she invited him, Willow, and Giles to the beach during the weekend as a peace offering, he accepted.

"Thanks, Mrs Summers," he grinned as he accepted a biscuit from Buffy's mum. "You make some of the best biscuits I've had for awhile."

"Xander, I'm hurt," Willow's mum said. "All those afternoons and now I learn that you didn't like them after all?"

"/Some of/ the best, I said," Xander gestured expansively with his biscuit. "You and Mrs S are equally best."

"Why, thank you Xander," Joyce smiled. "Go out and help Buffy and Willow in the waterfight -- I think that Rupert and Ira are winning."

"Sure thing," Xander said, finishing his biscuit off.

"Be careful of those people out kayaking!," Joyce called out as Mrs Rosenberg laid down for some sunbathing.

Xander grabbed a bucket from the beach as he went, emptying it of sand. Running through the waves as best he could, he handed it to Buffy. Immediately, she started filling it from the ocean and throwing the salt water at the two older men.

"Traitor!," Giles sputtered.

"Beauty called," Xander smirked. "You're just jealous."

"Age before beauty," Mr Rosenberg called out, right before slipping under the surface and pulling Buffy's ankles so that she fell over, into the salty water.

"No fair!," Willow protested. "Water fight, not hand and fist fight!"

"All's fair in love and war!," Giles retorted. "Which side got themselves a bucket and an extra person?"

"So we conclusively win, then," Buffy smiled, having gotten back up. "Woo! Thanks, Xand!"

"Time for this tired old man to go back in, I think," Giles said, deciding to foot when he was ahead. Or as ahead as he was going to get.

"I'll join ya," Mr Rosenberg said.

"Okay!," Willow said. "I'll stay out here, Dad."

"Right," Mr Rosenberg said, ruffling Willow's hair which provoked a "Hey, dad!"

"I'm going to go swimming," Buffy said. "See how far out I can go."

"Bad idea, Buff," Xander said. "That way lies sharks, driftnets, and people in kayaks who don't really like us."

"I'll be fine," Buffy said, dismissing him. She started out in that direction.

Xander looked at Willow, a devious grin on his face. "Y'know, we haven't determined out of the winning team, which team member is the best."

"That's me, Mister!"

"Yeah? Prove it!"

"Bring it!"

Xander cuppped his hands together, building up his energy. "Aqua Breathe!"

"YOU CHEATER!"

And so another, smaller, waterfight started.

* * *

Further out, Buffy had managed to swim out to the people kayaking. Pretty soon, she was wishing she hadn't.

"Oh look, it's the queen of the nerds," Cordelia snapped. "Go back to the shallow end, little girl."

Buffy started to tread water, and flipped Queen C off. "It's a big ocean... guess it isn't big enough to hold your ego, though."

"You heard Cordelia, no hoper!," another Cordette said. "Shoo! Scram!"

A less innocent fight started. Buffy, however, was severely hampered by the fact that she needed to continue to tread water while Cordelia, the Cordettes, and their companions were in canoes.

"OH MY GOD! BUFFY!," Cordelia shrieked as Buffy went limp and slid below the surface of the ocean. "LARRY! OMIGOD, SAVE HER!"

She'd only meant to drive the social reject /away/, not drown her! Oh God, if she drowned...

The football team member jumped out of his kayak, finding Buffy within a few powerful strokes. It was to her advantage that she was so slim, short, and light, as the jock rapidly swam with her to shore.

"HELP! She drowned!," Larry yelled.

"You what?!," Giles looked horrified.

"BUFFY!"

"Move!," a lifeguard commanded. He began giving CPR to Buffy.

Eventually, she coughed water and began breathing on her own.

"Well, that put a damper on the whole beach thing," Xander said. "I'm for going back to sixteen three oh and watching movies."

"Seconded," Willow said, raising a hand. Buffy smiled weakly.

"Thanks, guys," she said.

* * *

In another town, another girl put her fist through a punching bag by accident.

"Wicked cool," she breathed.

Half an hour later, she got a knock on the door.

* * *

"Must we watch this?," Giles asked.

"YES!," all the girls and women said firmly, ensconced on the sofa and the two La-Z-Boys.

"Titanic?," Xander asked plaintively. "Please say we can watch something else instead."

"NO!"

"I've got a copy of The Shadow, if you two want to come over to my house," Mr Rosenberg offered.

"Cool! The Shadow! Sure," Xander grinned.

"The what?," Giles asked.

"The Shadow. He's cool, you'll like him."

"Is he anything like those 'League' comics you lent me?"

"Er, kinda."

* * *

Post-fic Comments:

I think you can guess who had the three lines.