" ...wasn't I supposed to be someone who can face the things that I've been running from?" - unknown

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Thursday had seemed like such a long distance from the time that he had found out about the funeral but it had come quickly for the youngest Scott. More quickly than he would have liked. Fidgeting out of discomfort and nerves brought by the awkward silence he once again adjusted his tie and shifted his weight around as he could. Two days out of the hospital, after two surgeries, and his leg was killing him. He had expected Houston to be hot, humid even but what he had found was quite opposite. Snow blanketed the ground a cool breeze blew through the graveyard chilling him to the bone. The sky clouded over gray. It seemed a fitting weather pattern for a day filled with such misery, Nathan couldn't help but think this as he watchd the priest sprinkle holy water on the coffin and the ground, sanctifying them for all time. And when he started the prayer asking them to bend their heads as he did so Nathan couldn't help but take a quick glimpse around before his mother tsked him and he obliged.

"Lord God, through your mercy those who have lived in faith find eternal peace. Bless this grave and send your angel to watch over it. As we bury the body of Lucas Eugene Scott, welcome him into your presence, and with your saints let him rejoice in you forever. We ask it through Christ, our Lord, Amen."

As the priest finished his blessing and prayer the crowd murmered 'amen' and raised their heads to bid their loved one fairwell one last time. It was at this moment that Nathan realized that there were more people than he had seen in the church standing around this small cemetary in the freezing weather. But of course he knew that there would be. The church service had been closed, the cemetary was not. They were here to support Karen and say their goodbyes to an active community member, one of the more loved young adults, who had died suddenly from a terrible inherited disease.

Nathan had never felt such sympathy nor had his heart gone out to someone quite as it did to those that had known and loved Lucas more than anyone that had known him in the short span he had been with them. A brother's love was not the same as the mother or the only father he had ever really known. As the crowd spoke in hushed voices and sent words or looks of sympathy at them Kieth Scott avoided all eye contact. Instead looking around with wide, haunted eyes. Gaunt and thinner than Nathan had seen his uncle ever be. While Karen pressed a kleenex to her mouth, dabbing her eyes every now and then. Gaze fixed firmly on the casket, a wild look, at least Nathan thought, around her. But his attention once again was drug back to the priest as he began to finish his sermon.

"With faith in Jesus Christ, we reverently bring the body of this man to be buried in its human imperfection. Let us pray with confidence to God, who gives life to all things, that he will raise up this mortal body to the perfection and company of the saints."

As he said these words and flipped the once closed missil open, thumbing through the pages to the final prayer Nathan looked for Brooke. She was sure to be here. His brother's one and only. The one Lucas had been so sure was the one and had married their freshman year of college. His eyes landed on her, supported by Peyton, in the corner of the horseshoe group that was gathered around the cemetary. She too looked as though the loss had aged her, the bubbly air around her gone as she sobbed hoarsley onto the shoulder of her oldest friend. Even so she was as attractive as the day he had met her. But that was Brooke. He felt sorry for her too but smiled softley as he remembered the conversation Lucas and himself had, had about the girl who held his heart right after he had made his apology dinner for Haley, the one she had never come home to, the one Taylor had showed up after.

Lucas walked into the apartment Nathan had once called home. As he approached the table he motioned toward the dinner for two that had been set up. The same look on his face that he had always gotten before he said a smart allec remark.

"Is this my apology?" He asked Nathan with a slight laugh knowing full well it wasn't but humoring Nathan none the less. It was awkward almost after their confrontation after he'd found out who had truly told his mother about HCM. The disease that would end his life in the future.

"No, this is Haley's apology. I don't owe you one. You know why?" Nathan paused to look at him waiting to see if he would answer but not expecting him too. Lucas was too much like him, they might not have admitted it but they shared the stubborn qualities. "Because nobody wants to lose you Luke; not your mom, not Keith, not Haley, not me."

Lucas rolled his eyes and looked at Nathan. He was surprised that Nathan had said it but he was also feeling like it was meant to be a guilt trip. Something he didn't appreciate when he was sure that he was fine. "There's nothing wrong with my heart, Nate." He finally said in a tone laced with hints to drop the subject.

"Yeah? Thats what you said after your car accident." Nathan said looking at him skeptically and turning his attention from the dinner and soley to Lucas. "You told me you didn't want to be afraid to live your life."

"That's right." Lucas nodded wondering where he was going with all of this. But knowing that if he chose to buy into the hype about HCM, if he chose to take the test and had it, that he would be afraid to live, at least at this point in his life. Too afraid of killing himself to do anything reckless again and he didn't want that.

"Well I don't buy it, Luke." Nathan said looking at him seriously. Or as seriously as Nathan had ever looked at anyone before. "I think there's something in your heart that you're running from."

At first Lucas smirked and waited for Nathan to say he was pulling his chain. But when it didn't come he just sighed and looked away from him. Looked at anything but his younger brother who's infinite wisdome seemed to have finally come. "OK, what are you: psychic?" He questioned in a less than serious way.

"You can make jokes about it all you want," Nathan said completely and totally serious. He didn't want his brother to suffer what he had before he'd found Peyton and after that before he'd found Haley. "But you know there's a girl you had feelings for."

"Nathan-" Lucas said sounding a little unnerved, and wanting badly to drop the subject.

"Look me in the eye. Tell me I'm wrong." Nathan said waiting as Lucas looked at him and opened his mouth to speak. But no words would come, just as had been suspected he couldn't say it. Or wouldn't. "See, now you can be mad at me all you want; you can say your heart's fine...but till you tell this girl how you feel," Nathan shrugged as Lucas nodded at his statement. "Your heart's going to be flawed. You need to talk to her Luke."

Nathan walked away done talking to his brother. He had given him all that he could and left him there to contemplate. Everyone deserved to find that great love they'd been missing out on. Lucas had given him his and thus Nathan wished to return the favor. But he hoped Lucas chose the right girl this time. He knew which his true feelings would always be for if he hadn't messed it up too badly now.

And so he guessed his heart was healed, finally whole. Propelling him to move off to bigger and better things. As he had saved her, she had healed him. Everything happened for a reason, and though he knew that it was a sad time Nathan found it bittersweet. Thankful that Lucas had to suffer no more. He had truly touched all of their lives and left footprints nobody could see without him they wouldn't be who they were today. He had brought Peyton to Jake, Haley to himself, and healed a long broken girl. Though the good times might have passed they had never loved like that before. And for all his saintly hood in human form it was time that he truly got his wings.

"Let us pray for our brother Lucas Scott to our Lord Jesus Christ. Who told us 'I am the ressurection and the life. The man who believes in me will live even though he dies, and every living person who puts his faith in me will never suffer eternal death.' Lord, you wept at the death of Lazarus, your friend: comfort us in our sorrow. We ask this in faith."

"Lord, hear our prayer." The congregation, or at least the other Catholics amongst them, murmered in response. It was as though no one was willing to break the hush that had fallen over the cemetary save for the priest who spoke confidently as ever. That or people had taken to weeping for their loss rather than following the tradition set long before them. Nathan, himself, almost missed this sentence as he had let his mind wander.

"You raised the dead to life; give our brother Lucas eternal life. Our brother Lucas was washed clean in baptism; give him fellowship with all your saints. He was nourished with your body and blood grant him a place at the table in your heavenly kingdom. Comfort us in our sorrow at the death of our brother; let our faith be our consolation and eternal life our hope. We ask this in faith."

As the preist closed his missil the congregation murmered their last 'hear our prayer' and looked at him expectantly. Nathan noticed that the air seemed to be thicker, the sorrow more heavy. It pressed upon them from all sides and as he looked at Karen a look of recognition, maybe a revelation, appeared in her eyes as she stared at the casket. The same position she had always been in, arm laced with Kieth's. Brooke too looked worst for wear. She had since seemed to crumble to the ground, Peyton seemingly trying to sooth her, as they rocked back and forth Brooke making odd noises as if she were trying not to cry anymore.

Looking at them all the priest cleared his throat. His eyes seemed to land one by one on all that new the boy closely. Starting with Karen and ending with Deb and Nathan. Though he thought the priest might just be looking around for them it seemed to Nathan that their eyes locked for half a second longer than they should have. As if he was silently telling them all something. That or he was odd. Nathan chose the latter of the two to believe.

"Let us pray as our Lord taught us," He paused briefly to catch the attention of those around him and allow them to once more bow their heads out of respect. "Our Father who art in heaven -"

"No!" The scream seemed to tear through the air sending shockwaves through the crowd. It seemed more quiet as though everything else had ceased to move shocked that this person dared to yell so loudly in so serene in a place. Everyone turned their heads to see where it had come from, wide eyed, some mouths hanging open when they found the source, an unlikely one at that.

It was Karen who had yelled the word. It was Karen who had in front of everyone propelled herself forward at those bearing the shovels. Standing next to the pile of dirt where a patch of fake grass had been thrown to make it seem more hospitable as was greatly assumed. Like that would some how ease the pain of a suffering mother or make anyone feel better about burying a lost one. Hands reached out to grab her but they were belated. She had found her way atop of the coffin and pounded furiously on the lid with her fists. A dull thud resignated through the group and causing those that had already lost it to become hysterical. Those that had not were too shocked to move.

"Lucas Scott you come out of there right now!" She screamed furiously through tears as she pounded her fists on the top. Pounded them even when they turned red and looked as if they were sore. "Lucas, goddammit, you stop playing around!"

Keith was the first to move approaching her from behind but unable to pull her from the coffin himself as she clung tight to it. In the end it was Deb and Nathan who would step forward and help. The only ones unconcerned with embedding the image into their minds for future gossip. Once she had been pulled off Karen's yells became quieter and quieter as they turned to sobs and she fell limp in Keith's arms, clinging to him for support and sobbing into his chest as he fought to remain composed.

"- hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, they will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Through Christ our Lord amen."

Without missing a beat once Karen had been restrained the preist continued on in the same monotonous voice as he had been using all the while. And he stayed there standing with his hands clasped around the missil as the family stood near him as composed as they could be while everyone paid their respects. Once the crowd had passed Nathan turned to Karen to pay his. Let her know that if there was anything she needed, anything at all, he was a phone call away. He made sure Brooke was safely in his rental car before walking toward the other side knowing that in just a few moments he would be in a long line of cars back to the once full of love Scott Household where a wake would follow. Nathan wasn't quite sure what it would contain but he was sure it would be interesting, they always were when the Tree Hill residents got together in such a large number. Then again he'd have to face all the awkwardness that was being around Haley within the grouping of their friends, oddly enough he didn't remember seeing her at the services.