Summary: Yeah! Party hearty, for tomorrow we die!

Crossover: Bastard!!, Slayers

Disclaimer: I don't own Bastard!!, Slayers, or Buffy the Vampire Shagger. Although, if the respective owners want to swap for a couple of CDs that's fine.

Feedback: Yeah, baby!

Pre-fic Comments:

Some bad language.

* * *

Buffy leant in towards the TV. Her, Faith, Xander, and Willow were in her room watching videos. Currently, they were watching something called 'Berserk.' It was getting kinda of the depressed, though, as they learnt in an extended flashback about the main character's rape when young.

"Does this series lighten up at any point?," Buffy demanded. "I'm not getting the happy vibes, here."

"Nope," Faith said cheerily. "It's wicked dramatic all the way through, no room for the funnies."

"I-I don't wanna keep watching it," Willow said firmly, pressing stop. "I'll get nightmares."

"I can believe that one of /Giles/ friends loaned you this," Buffy said. She had seen what the Watcher considered bedtime reading. "Don't you have /anything/ funny?"

Xander dug through the bag he'd brought with him, the clattering of videotapes audible. "Uh... I've got something here called 'Flame of Recca', and something else called 'Ranma 1/2'. Never seen either. Man, this guy comes up with some weird stuff."

Faith laughed. "Hey, remember that series with the chick with the sword that didn't have any subtitles? That was wicked funny."

Xander grinned. "Which tape, you guys?"

"I dunno," Willow shrugged. "I've got a coin, we could toss for one."

"Okay," Buffy said, throwing the coin in the air, catching it, and holding her hand over the randomised face. "Call it."

"Ahh... heads, that Flame series," Xander said.

"Okay, heads it is," Buffy said, revealing the coin. "Did you really have to toast that mummy girl, Xander?"

"Hey," he protested. "She was coming onto Willow, and not in a good way!"

"Ssssh!," Faith hissed.

And so they settled down to watch a slim boy dressed in black make a fool of an immensely strong fellow student.

* * *

Xander yawned. He really should get more sleep -- he was starting to sleep through more classes than normal, and the teachers were Not Happy with him. Which was why he had come extra early to school today, in an attempt to wake himself up before anything happened. Faith, who had decided to ditch the learning thing, had decided to crash at the Library for the night.

"It's not a date, it's a caffeinated beverage," Willow said. "Okay, sure, it's hot and bitter like a relationship that way, but..."

"What's like a relationship?," Xander asked, coming up behind her and Buffy.

"Nothing I have," Buffy said morosely. "Coffee?"

"Huh?," Xander asked. Man, he learnt all this cool stuff and it was still of no use when trying to understand girls. How was coffee like relationships?

Buffy and Willow stopped for a drink. Unfortunately, Cordelia had stopped nearby too. Xander started glaring at one of his natural social enemies.

"There's really no comparison between college men and high school boys," Cordelia said to her 'friend'. She gestured at Xander. "I mean, look at that."

"So, Cor, you're datin' college guys now," Xander said neutrally.

"Well, not that it's any of your business, but I happen to be dating a Delta Zeta Kappa," Cordelia said primly.

"Oh! An extra-terrestrial," Xander said sarcastically. "So that's how you get a date after you've exhausted all the human guys."

"You'll go to college someday, Xander," Cordelia smiled insincerely. "I just know your pizza delivery career will take you so many exciting places."

"As opposed to being on my back like you?," Xander scowled. Faith had been spending a lot of time around him, and it was showing.

"If the sun died and I did have to resort to that, I'm sure that I would still be worth a thousand of you," Queen C snarled.

Xander had no real retort to that, so he gave up on her, going to class to get some sleep.

* * *

Today had royally sucked. He'd gotten chewed out by his English, Science, and Art teachers for sleeping in class, Buffy had decided to ditch them for Cordelia, and the only good thing about this was that it might convince her to leave Angel.

Okay, he knew his life was getting weird when one of his friend's lives would improve were she to start dating a frat guy, rather than her current significant other.

And he had patrol tonight. It was getting to the stage where all the vamps older than a month dead ran from him on sight, so he had to go on patrol with Faith or Buffy if he wanted to satisfy his inner pyro.

"Hey, Faith," he yelled out as he left the school grounds, Willow beside him. The dark-haired Slayer was sitting next to Buffy, idly trying to pick a fight. "Boy, what a long day."

Willow glared at him. "And you slept through three classes."

"Yeah, and of course /they/ flew by," Xander grinned.

"You're spending way too much time around Faith," Willow reprimanded. "You are going to the Library right now to do your homework!"

"I'm totally a bad influence then, Red?," Faith asked as she jumped off the railing that the two Slayers had been sitting on.

"Buffy, you too," Willow said, Resolve Face on.

"I'm... loitering," Buffy improvised. "See? Loiter, dawdle..."

"Works for me," Xander shrugged, world class slacker.

Cordelia brushed past the small group, bumping into Willow as she passed without a word.

"You okay?," Buffy asked Willow.

In the next five minutes, Cordelia somehow managed to get Buffy to talk with her to the two frat guys in a black BMW, promising to go to some party with them. All the while the other three members of Team Slayer looking on in disbelief.

"I hate these guys," Xander scowled. "Whatever they want just falls into their laps. Don't you hate these guys?"

Faith nodded heavily. "Fuck yeah. Snobs."

"Uh, kinda, with their charmed lives and their movie star good looks and more money than you can count? I'm hating," Willow agreed, not wanting to be the odd one out.

"Who's for bugging the G-man?," Xander asked.

* * *

Post-fic Comments:

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