Summary: Shriek! Scream as your liege dies!

Crossover: Bastard!!, Slayers

Disclaimer: I don't own Bastard!!, Slayers, or Buffy the Vampire Shagger. Although, if the respective owners want to swap for a couple of CDs that's fine.

Feedback: Yeah, baby!

Pre-fic Comments:

I wish I had more money. Then I could buy more albums.

* * *

Faith yawned as she caught up with Xander and Willow, grabbing Xander's coke.

"Hey!," Willow protested. "That was mine!"

Faith arched an eyebrow, as if saying 'So?'

"I was just saying to Wills that we should go and keep an eye on Buff at that frat party," Xander said, munching on a bar of some sort.

"What, Queen Necro?," Faith asked, incredulous.

"Hell yeah," Xander affirmed. "What if they have an orgy or something?"

"And if there is trouble, we can annoy her about it from here to eternity," Faith smirked. "Sounds good to me, X."

Willow grabbed the bar from Xander and finished it off.

"Hey!," Xander protested. "That was... yours."

The hacker smirked at her friend.

* * *

Later that night, Xander climbed through a window in the frat house, trusting to the general confusion of the party so he could hide in anonymity.

"Stupid levitation spell," he muttered. "Crap out on me like a cheap Mitsubishi, will it?"

Faith easily jumped over the windowsill, joining him. "You need to train some, X."

"I do magic so I don't have to," Xander explained.

"Oh yeah," Faith grinned. "'Cause you were so manly just before."

"Let's go find Buff," Xander misdirected, "so we can keep an eye on her for embarrassing behaviour."

Xander got distracted by some trays of munchies on the way through the house, but fortunately Faith was there to keep him on track. The dark haired Slayer was leaving a trail of frat guys groaning and clutching their privates after they had propositioned her, though.

"Hey, have you seen two girls?," Xander asked a short redhead.

"Incoming," Faith reported, seeing two jocks moving towards them.

"Who're you?," Jock 1 asked.

"Uh... nobody," Xander said edgily.

"So, Mr Nobody," Jock number 2 asked, "who invited you?"

"Wanna see a magic trick?," Xander asked casually. "Origin of all power, glittering, burning red flame, gather to my hands and be my power. Fireball!"

He flicked the red ball of fire out the window towards a deck chair on the stone balcony. The alcohol soaked wood readily caught fire, and Jock Number 2 ran outside to put it out. Xander blew across the tips of his fingers, much like a gunslinger blew smoke away from the barrel of his gun on an old western.

"I'm the magician."

"Cool," Jock Number 1 said. "Hey, can you pull a bird outta your jacket?"

Xander grinned. He saw much opportunity for fun. "Fearis Breed!"

A flock of sparrow, robins, and blackbirds flew inside the frat house, circling over the jock and crapping all over him. The two scoobies walked away. He was lucky that the jocks were already well on their way to being drunk.

"X, that was sooo cool," Faith smirked. "Now, where did B get to?"

"There!," Xander said, spotting an anonymous guy in a black dress pulling her through a door.

"What are you doing here?," a familiar Irish voice hissed.

"Keeping an eye on Buffy," Faith shot at Angel and Willow. "What are you guys doing here? 'Cause it's wicked boring."

"A bunch of girls are missing, and the Zeta Kappas may be involved, and Buffy," Willow said. She looked outside, where the deckchair on fire was still being put out. "Xander, did you do that?"

"Who, me?," Xander laughed nervously. "We're in a frat party, bunch of drunks, Willow."

"Oh," she said, caught between distrust of Xander's pyro tendencies and the drunken fratboys.

"What has happened?," Giles asked, pulling them all into a dark corner. Xander would give a lot to know how an old guy like Giles got into this place.

"They took Buffy down to the basement," Xander said. "They were wearing robes."

"They may be in some kind of ritual," Giles said, winning the Mr Obvious competition.

"With the missing girls," Willow continued.

"With Buffy!," Angel growled, face vamping out.

* * *

Tom held the sword to the blonde's neck. Really, she should know better. Someone knocked on the door at the top of the staircase.

"Tackle, get that!"

"FIREBALL!"

Tom had half a moment to reflect that it had all turned to custard, right before a whip of fire wound itself around Machida's throat and decapitated the powerful demon.

That took the fight out of the fraternity cultists.

"You did it! You saved us!," Cordelia wept, hugging Angel.. "I've never been so happy to see anyone in my whole..."

Queen C let go of Angel, beginning to cry. "You guys. I just... hate you guys! The weirdest things always happen when you're around!"

The Irish vampire picked up Tom the Cultist, and Cordelia grabbed the be-robed boy by his collar.

"AND YOU! You're going to jail for fifteen thousand years!"

The socialite threw the cultist back at Angel, storming up the stairs.

Buffy looked at Giles nervously. "I told one lie, I had one drink."

"Yes," Giles said dryly, "and you were very nearly eaten by a giant snake demon. The words 'I told you so' seem a tad redundant at this juncture."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, blinking at Giles artfully.

The Watcher pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Faith suggested that I ring your mother this afternoon to see if she required any help."

Buffy paled. "Mum?," she squeaked.

"Quite."