Hermione threw her things down on the bed in the dormitory and drew the curtains around her. She would compose herself, go visit Hagrid before the others got back, pretend the nasty little run in she had , had with Lavender in the common room hadn't happened. After ten day's stuck in her house with only her mother's positive attitude for company the snide comments of Lavender was a shock to the system.

She breathed in deeply trying to remember all the words of wisdom that Tonks had shared with her on Christmas day. Hermione was aware (as she had seen Tonks on more than one occasion) that she had shown up on Christmas day under ether Ministry orders or the orders, orders. Her over sized hat and coat combination stood out for miles even in the blizzard that had not given up at all for the past week.

Not that Hermione had minded. She had liked knowing there was at least someone out there that cared about her well-being. In her entire time at home, she had not had a single letter from Ginny or Harry.

Well she had survived on her own before, she would manage again.

She pulled out her cloak , hat and scarf wrapping them tightly around her as she descended back in to the common room, she paused long enough to send Lavender a contemptuous look before marching across the room and out of the portrait hole.

As she reached Hagrid's the snow began to give up, it still came up to her knees and froze her to the bone, but she could at least see further than just her arm's length in front of her.

Hagrid opened the door welcoming her in to the warm cosy hut; at least she knew that Hagrid cared.

Fang jumped up at her as she shook the snow from her hair and hung her cloak up on the coat stand in the corner of the room.

She bowed low as she approached, as Buckbeak had eyed her suspiciously. After some consideration, he lowered his head and Hermione stroked his tawny feathers. His eyes closed lazily under her touch. She had a certain feelings for this great beast; for once, she did not think Hagrid's interest in the dangerous was unsupported. Buckbeak was truly a beautiful creature, misunderstood and yet proud to uphold the image that he would be deadly when dishonoured.

"So what brings you down here Hermione?" Hagrid said poring her out a large mug of tea.

"I didn't want to be up in the castle on my own." she said honestly, there was no point in lying to Hagrid he always seamed to know.

"Harry and the others not back yet?"

"No…they all went to the Burrow for Christmas." Hermione said looking down at the brown liquid in the mug that Hagrid had handed her.

"Molly will be bubblin' her eyes out if I know Molly." said Hagrid passing a plate of rock cakes to Hermione, fang drooled unceremoniously down her leg, and Hermione did not seem to mind.

"Tonks came to mine over Christmas."

Hagrid looked at Hermione curiously.

"I had wondered where she was… I went looking for her in the three broomsticks on Christmas Eve; Rosemerta said she had gone home for Christmas, what with all the students doing the same."

Hagrid took a long sip from his barrel size mug and observed Hermione over the brim. "She's another one that turned down Molly's offer of Christmas at the Burrow."

Hermione averted her eyes from Hagrid and watched as the snow that had lightened on her way down to the cabin began falling heavily again.

Were Ron and Harry back from the Burrow yet? Had the omnipresent Lavender engulfed Ron, were they at the moment making Parvati wish that she had followed Hermione across the snow swept grounds? Parvati had defiantly looked uncomfortable as Lavender cornered Hermione on the way to the Gryffindor common room.

"Hey little miss know it all. I want a word with you." Lavender's voice had followed her up the stairs from the great hall; Hermione had tried her best to slide down the secret corridor behind, Wilbur the unwashed. However, the hawk like eyes of Lavender so quick to find fashion disasters and fault in others had found Hermione with no effort at all.

Slowly Hermione had turned around and looked in to the face of Lavender. She had a good few inches in height on Hermione so it was quite daunting.

"Who would send Ron Mistletoe for Christmas?" she said accusingly.

"I have no idea…were not speaking remember?" Hermione had turned to walk back up the stairs but Lavender apparently did not think that this was a good enough answer.

"Oh yes strange that when I ask him about it he has no idea why you aren't talking."

"What has it got to do with you why Ron and I aren't talking?" Hermione said not turning around; Lavender was following her up the stairs followed closely by Parvati.

"It's just curious that you're suddenly not speaking to him after he starts going out with me that's all…"

Hermione had stopped at the bottom of the charms corridor and turned to Lavender, her heart was beating excessively fast. She had to sort herself out, she bit her lip and avoided Lavenders eye.

"What cat got your tongue?" Lavender looked pleased with herself, and Hermione knew she would have to count to ten before she spoke or she might say or do something that she would regret.

One…

"I mean, you did say I could go after him…"

Two…

"I can understand that you're jealous of the fact that he chose me over you…"

Three…

"Of course I bet you thought that he wouldn't even look twice at me, I mean you are his darling Hermione right-"

Three and a half…

"Shame he thinks you're a total joke…"

Four…

"I mean look at you…"

Four and a half…

"I bet you used a love potion on Victor Krum or something…I mean who would want to go out with …"

"Lavender shut up ok." Parvati cut her off. She looked from Lavender to Hermione.

Hermione knew she must look a little red in the face.

"What she wants to know was it you who sent Ron the mistletoe at Christmas?" Parvati asked Hermione.

Hermione caught her breath and let her anger subside.

"Why would I send Ron mistletoe for Christmas? Have you forgotten who his brothers are? Do you not think that Fred and George might have sent it?"

"That's what I said!" Parvati said exasperated. "I mean, they love winding Ron up don't they!"

Hermione nodded in agreement even if she felt sick from telling such an outright lie.

"Even so…it doesn't explain why the two of you aren't speaking." Lavender said bitterly.

Hermione turned and headed up the charms corridor her bag on her shoulder.

Lavender was in hot pursuit. She caught up to her as she headed up the corridor that lead to the Fat Lady.

"How often do Ron and I fight?" Hermione said as they came to a halt outside the portrait.

"All the time." said Lavender angrily.

"Exactly, and if you hadn't noticed he hasn't exactly been in a rush to apologise for his last bout of stupidity, he's been to busy sucking your face off in every available second he has." Hermione glared at the girl that stood in front of her.

"Ron isn't stupid." Lavender practically bit Hermione's head off.

"I know he's not stupid, he's my best friend you think I don't know that it's all an act?" Hermione mentally marked a point on her internal scorecard.

"Yeah, well he might have been your best friend but right now he hates your guts." Lavender said vindictively. She scraped that last mark.

"Ladies… ladies….please can we keep the voices down?" the Fat Lady groaned from her portrait, Hermione turned "Abstinence" she said and the portrait swung open.

Lavender climbed through the portrait hole behind her, followed by Parvati who looked like she was rather enjoying her two dorm mates going at each other.

"If I find out-"

"Find out what?" Hermione said well aware that the few people who sat around the fire had turned to look at them, including the Creavy brothers who were known for telling anyone that would listen the inner details of any juicy bit of gossip they could get their hands on.

"If I find out that anything….and I mean anything is going on between the two of you I swear to Merlin I'll…"

Hermione looked at Lavender she seemed to be lost for words.

"You know personally I miss the entertainment value." said Neville as he pushed himself between Lavender and Hermione, "Life has been a lot more boring around here since you and Ron stopped speaking. It's too quite without you raising hell with each other."

Hermione did not say anything but she missed the little arguments as well, she missed just being able to argue then go back to being friends again, and she missed Ron.

"Lavender you seriously need to stop stressing…who is Ron with?" Neville said turning to her.

"Me…but…"

"Well that's the end of that argument…Hermione up the stairs. Lavender goes calm down next to the fire."

Neville rolled his eyes at Parvati as Lavender marched away towards the fire.

"So did you send him the mistletoe?" Neville asked Hermione following her to the bottom of the stairs.

Hermione looked at him.

"How many people did she tell?"

"Anyone who was in the room when she got here, I mean you are on top of the list of likely suspects." Neville said quietly.

"Why does everyone think that I would do something like that?"

Neville shook his head; Hermione knew he was trying his best not to laugh.

"Hermione you do realise why you're Lavenders number one competition don't you?"

Hermione did not answer him.

"You invited Ron to that dance, she knows that…you invited him… it proves that you are willing to take things in to your own hands, she knows you like Ron, and you're his best friend other than Harry," Neville looked across at Lavender who did a very un-lady like hand motion in their direction. "I would start watching your back; she seems a little aggravated with you."

"Just a little?" Hermione had said stalking off up the stairs.

It was on the stairs she had decided she would go see Hagrid. Life with Hagrid was simple; the only vicious many faced dogs you had to worry about around Hagrid could be put to sleep by music.

Moreover, it was only now in the quite hut did Hermione realise how stupid and irrational it had been to do something so out of character.

Ron was with Lavender, Hermione would never in a million years go after someone else's boyfriend.

At least the old Hermione wouldn't, the bookish Hermione that always needed to be right wouldn't, but she seamed less and less like that scared little girl that needed to know about everything in her new and exiting world, she didn't need to know everything, the unknown was her new personal challenge, the new and scary.

And the feelings she had for Ron were defiantly new and scary, how could you possibly love someone and hate them all at the same time?

He infuriated her, he played stupid which he clearly wasn't, anyone who could put such thought and strategy in to such simple things as chess was not stupid, he had logic, he did well in his exams, (even without Hermione's help) he might not get top marks but he always did well.

The way he always jumped to her aid, she was more than capable of fighting her own battles.

Hermione thought back to the end of last year and the fight at the ministry, Ron had loyalty, to both Hermione and Harry, but why did he always seam to do the exact thing that would wound her up and caused her pain?

She drained the bottom of the mug and placed it in the sink.

There was a knock at the door. Hagrid got up and opened it, Dumbledore entered. Strangely, there were no traces of snow in his long silver beard. But after all this was Dumbledore, in Hermione's opinion the greatest wizard that had ever lived, and that was before she had actually met the man, now she felt more resolved in her first impression.

"Ah, Miss Granger, just the young lady I was looking for…" he routed around in his pocket and handed her a role of parchment. "I presume you have guessed its destination?" Hermione nodded as the old man observed her over the top of his glasses, up close his burned hand looked a lot worse that she had imagined.

"Did you have a nice Christmas?" Dumbledore asked her kindly.

"Yes sir, Tonks came for Christmas dinner, but I presume you knew that already?" she said smiling slightly as the eyes behind the glasses had glinted merrily.

"Yes Nymphadora had informed me of her intentions." Dumbledore said as he watched Hermione place her cloak around her. "Now I suggest that you hasten to the Gryffindor common room, Harry will be arriving soon and you wouldn't want to deprive him of the opportunity to tell you about the events that unfolded over the festive period."

Hermione had made to ask Dumbledore what he could have meant, but the look on his face said that he would not want to deprive Harry of the job.

Hermione excused herself, and wound her way back across the grounds, through the blizzard that once again raged.

As she walked past the rubies gleaming in the hourglass, she smiled to herself, would she get the same feeling from the amethysts that glowed in the Ravenclaw hourglass? She smiled at Cho Chang as she passed her on the way back to the Gryffindor common room, they wished each other a happy new year, Hermione didn't like to pass judgment, but she was secretly a lot happier that Harry had started to show interest to someone a little closer to home.

She spotted the familiar scraggy black hair of Harry; Ginny's neatly tied back bunches and the messed up red hair of Ron at the end of the corridor. They stood in front of the Fat Lady.

"They changed the password?" Ron said indignantly.

"Abstinence." Hermione said as she reached them. You know the fat lady has the right idea, I might just abstain from Ron for a while, at least until I do not want to punch him in the face, Hermione thought to herself.

Ron had been smiling at her and had gone to say something; Hermione made a point of turning to Harry and beginning a conversation with him completely blanking Ron. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his face turn from the happy smile to a dark scowl.

"I have stuff to tell you…." Harry said as the screech of "Won-won" invaded their brains.

Hermione made a point of staring at Harry as Lavender and Ron decided to try to make up on lost time over the holidays, rather loudly behind her.

After Ginny had reluctantly left them to go find Dean.( Hermione and Ginny had exchanged pitying looks with each other at this point) Harry and Hermione found chairs as far away from Love's young dream as possible. Harry filled her in on everything that had happened over Christmas, about what had happed at Slughorn's party and about Percy getting a face full of parsnip and spuds. Hermione had listened to Harry and his stupid idea about Malfoy being a Death eater before, she still thought it was as stupid an idea now as she had done when he first suggested it back in august. When the conversation had died and Ginny and most of the other Gryffindor ( their seamed to be less and less of them these days) had gone to bed, Hermione found herself watching Ron again, the painful stabs in her chest seamed to have increased tenfold over the short break from him.

"Don't you think…?"

"Don't ask me again to try and make up with Won-Won…" she grimaced as she looked across the room to where Ron and Lavender were curled up in a chair together. "It's not going to happen."

"You could just…"

"Just what exactly Harry?" Hermione said tearing her eyes away from Ron who had just looked up and right at her.

"I have no idea…"Harry said feebly, "He misses you though." he added after a brief pause.

Lavender started giggling like mad, and Hermione stared down at her hands.

"Whatever you say Harry." she got to her feet and strode past the chair with the traitor and the eye candy in it, she resisted the urge to upend the chair in to the fire.

As she lay down on the scarlet bed sheets, she knew if she let her brain dwell on it, she would cry. She started reciting the ten uses of Dragon blood to herself in her head, blocking out the sound of Lavender as she came to bed a good hour later by remembering how to mix living death.

But no mater what she thought and tried to revise, Ron's face would pass in front of her tightly closed eyes, the way he looked when he had first seen her, the way that he had gone to speak to her as if nothing had changed between them.

If he was playing with her, did he know how hurt she was? Did he know how many tears she had cried alone in the dark?

A/N Thank you for all the constructive criticism, and everyone that pointed out the name spelling mistakes. I honestly hadn't noticed that I had spelt Parvati wrong, when I copied it from the book I obviously copied it in to auto correct wrong, please point out these sorts of thing to me, when I read it back to myself I don't see it, if the spell check identifies it as a proper word it doesn't do the little wiggly line, and with me being dyslexic I often read the wrong word as right ones as I go by Phonetics when I have issues with the words.

I do spell check and Grammar check before I post. This is a case of me really trying to learn everything from the beginning again, I was in the 'special needs ' English class, which was the worst thing anyone could have done, just because I'm dyslexic didn't mean I needed to be put on stuff like 'see spot run ' and taken away from the lessons that I could have received in a normal class, I never had a grammar lesson in my life, everything I have learned has been through reading books and teaching myself.

So when I say I appreciate constructive criticism I really honestly do.

All the love Paula-lou.

fic recomendation this chapter ...invisable scars.