Summary: Flux! Everything changes!

Crossover: Bastard!!, Slayers

Disclaimer: I don't own Bastard!!, Slayers, Hellsing, or Buffy the Vampire Shagger. Although, if the respective owners want to swap for a couple of CDs that's fine.

Feedback: Yeah, baby!

Pre-fic Comments:

Lucky 25... Esoteric got up to 25, before it got too extensive for me to work with. You'd better start hoping that this fic fares better.

Japanese is in "* *" speech marks. Naga and Darshe speak English, to make it easier on me. Have a bit of fun, and see what Ranma semi-quotes in English. The numbers for Naga's figure is taken from the fozzee.net link in the previous part.

* * *

Faith yelled out to Buffy once Snyder was out of earshot. "Hey, B! Like the suit!"

Buffy pulled a plastic handgun from her jacket. "You'll like this even better."

Faith grinned. "Yeah, we bad. Right, X?"

Xander flicked his head, long silver hair settling down his back. "That's Dark Schneider, or Bastard!, to you."

Buffy smirked. "You forgot to dye your eyebrows."

The mage returned the smirk. "No, I didn't. Blondie."

Snyder returned about then. "Why haven't you left? Report to Mr Cash once you've returned and he'll sign you off for the night. Take French leave, and you'll be scrubbing floors for the rest of your unnatural lives."

Xander rolled his eyes, but he and Faith began herding their flock of kids out the door.

* * *

Cash walked out the nearest set of doors, turning his head towards the night sky and taking a deep breath. Eventually, lazily, he turned his head towards town and started walking. The unnatural teacher continued, infatigueable, until he reached Ethan's Costume Shoppe and knocked on the door. Receiving no answer and finding it unlocked, he entered the small shop.

"We're closed," a British voice called out from the back room. "I'm afraid you'll have to wait until tomorrow."

Cash kept walking, through the curtains separating the shop floor from the back room with it's little altar and plaster bust. "You quite misunderstand me. I'm here to help."

Ethan slowly nodded. He didn't recognise this guy, but he obviously wasn't a neophyte.

* * *

Buffy fell to the street, clutching at her head which felt as if it were to break open. Eventually, the female's spasms, ceased, and Integral Wingates Hellsing rose to her feet, brushing her suit absently.

Not recognising the town (or even the street!), Integral pulled out her Walther PPK, checking that it was loaded with standard Hellsing rounds, cast from the melted down cross of Lancaster Cathedral. She loaded a round into the chamber, before replacing it in her jacket and looking up.

Demons.

Demons, the Damned, and worse had all appeared while she had been checking her weapon. Blue chips of ice narrowing, she drew the handgun back out before a teenaged girl in a cat costume (of all things!) grabbed her arm, stopping her. She almost hit the girl before she recognised the lack of malice in the girl's eyes.

"Stop! They're all children! Something turned them into monsters!"

"They're not FREAK vampires," Integral observed. "Tell me, how did this happen?"

* * *

Ranma groaned, clutching his stomach. Man, he musta really pissed Akane off this time -- it looked like she'd kicked him all the way to America, rather than Juuban or Kyoto or something. He wished that that uncute tomboy would learn to cook and take lessons from her sister Kasumi, but he was sure that her other sister Nabiki'd join a convent and repent of her mercenary ways first.

"*Crap!,*" Ranma cursed. "*Why me?*"

He'd passed through a cloud or something on his attempt at a low earth orbit, and his curse had been activated. Ranma, normally a muscular black haired boy, had been cursed to turn into a short and stacked redhead when splashed with cold water. Only hot water could turn him back to his normal self.

"*Right, English...,*" the neo-girl muttered. "Uh... haatu waata pureesu. Kuraatu baraatu, iie, uh..."

It should be noted that Ranma sleeps through all his classes at school.

* * *

Dark Schneider stretched as he woke up. He had no idea where he had gotten to... the last he remember was being sealed away by that shitty priest. Man, he was gonna find that old man and turn him into little cubes of flesh, blood, and bone.

"What happened?," a female voice groaned. Darshe, always on the prowl, immediately turned to look.

Wow. He'd seen a lot of female flesh over the years (and touched a great deal of that), but the figure he saw in front of him was one of a kind. Hell of a figure, too -- about 44DD-22-29, if he didn't miss his guess. He immediately began rubbing her back -- it relieved pain, let him begin the preliminaries to groping, and got him into her good graces all at once.

Naga got up and stretched, ignoring the man for the moment. She then turned to him.

"Thanks," she said. "I am Naga the White Serpent, the most powerful sorceress in the world! Ohohohohohohohoho!"

Darshe winced. Okay, so her laughter couldn't be listened to for more than ten seconds before wanting to either run or kill her.

"Where are we?"

"I don't know," Naga shrugged, the movement doing extremely interesting things to her breasts.

"How much do you charge?," a drunken man asked as he approached Naga.

"How much do I...," Naga repeated, before she realised what he meant. "You disgusting piece of goldfish feces! MEGA BRANDO!"

The ground under the man exploded upwards, sending him flying and pummelling him with many pieces of rock painfully at the same time. One of Darshe's eyebrows rose in admiration.

"Nice," he said. "Very nice."

Naga looked him up and down. He looked as if he had money. "So, care to buy me a drink?"

Darshe grinned lecherously. "Care for /more/ afterwards?"

* * *

Post-fic Comments:

I think I need to rewatch the Slayers OAV's.