Adorable You

Ch.7-Are We There Yet?

(HP's POV)

"8:00 a.m...lost in the woods and not a clue where to go. Great. You sure have a great sense of direction...to lead us around in circles." I said dully, following Sanderson's girlfriend for no reason whatsoever while her boyfriend and Flappy Bob were arguing whether or not to stop and ask for directions.

"Quit following me, ya perv!" She scowled at me.

"Perv?" I questioned. Hmm...never heard of that word before. I wonder if it's some type of fairy slang for handsome idiot. Of course, not that I'd hit on her or date her...she's way too young and annoying for me.

...Ha. Ha. Ha. I crack myself up.

"...Boy, do I feel sorry for Sanderson." She glared at me.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" She asked. I shrugged.

"...I wonder what your kids are gonna look like."

"...PERV!" She yelled, throwing a tree branch at me. I duck so that she missed completely. In the meantime, Sanderson and Flappy Bob were still squabbling like some married couple.

...I wonder if I'm implying something that's not right?

"...No, we don't need to ask for directions! I know where I'm going!" Sanderson huffed at the creepy clown.

"Oh yeah? If you know where we're going, why aren't we out of here yet?" Flappy Bob shot back. Sanderson opened his mouth to say a snappy comeback, but only managed to say something dumb.

"Because...uh...because..." He looks around trying to blame it on someone. His eyes landed on Charmy.

"Charmy knows!" He said, pointing at her. Charmy snaps her head towards Sanderson in a very scary way that it made her look like the Terminator.

...And when I mention scary, I mean it in a 'I'm-scared-that-I'm-going-to-make-this-girl-angry-and-have-her-beat-me-up-for-no-reason-whatsoever' form.

"Know what?" She asked.

"How to get us out of here." Sanderson answered. ...Uh oh. She blinked in that very familiar way that reminded me of that one guy we hired as the rice president. I wonder if she might be related to him in any way?

"...Nooo. I thought you were the guy who knows where to go." Flappy looked at Sanderson like he was going to eat him then kill him. And in that order too.

"EEP." Sanderson flew away at top speed through the woods, and we chased after him with torches and pitchforks. ...And what do you know, we reached the edge of the woods within a few minutes. I thought the trek through there would've took us several more hours, but I saw that there's nothing but cows, so that meant we were near another farm.

...Yay for variety.

"I'm saved!" Sanderson wailed, dropping to the ground and kissing it.

"I told you I knew where I was going." He said as he got up and smirked almost Japanese cartoon-like.

...The things he does...it scares me.

"Uh huh." Fairy girl rolled her eyes and poofed up a small pink Camaro.

"What is this!" Sanderson asked, voicing the exact same thing I was thinking. If Charmy could poof up a car, then why did we need the bicycle?

"It's called a car, pixie boy. Unless you're not "edjamacated" on what it is." She smirked.

Ouch...that's gotta hurt his ego. Sanderson just ignored her and grabbed the keys from Charmy.

"Hop in...we're not gonna get to Pixies, In...I mean, Vegas if just stand here you know." He said, getting into the driver's seat. I tossed the bike into the trunk and got into the backseat with Flappy. But Charmy grabbed the keys back from Sanderson and sticks out her tongue at him.

"Yoink! My car, I drive."

"Fine, whatever. The color pink is not me anyway." We snapped on our seatbelts even if they were three sizes way too big for us magical creatures.

"Everyone ready? Okay, here we go!" Charmy turned on the car, put it into drive, and stepped on the gas pedal. I still had no clue how she did it when she's only 8 inches tall like us. VRRRROOOMM!

"OHHHHHHHHHHHH CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPP!" We screamed as we zoomed down the road at 90 miles per hour. Not even Sanderson drives like a maniac as we barreled through stop signs and red lights in a small country town we were passing through.

"Are you trying to get us killed?" Flappy screeched as Charmy left behind trails of mass destruction in our wake.

"No! I had my license revoked years ago!" She said, driving into a melon cart and causing people to jump out of the way.

"Then WHY are YOU DRIVING?" Sanderson yelled, hanging onto his seat for dear life as she turned on the windshield wipers and scrapes away pieces of melon on the glass.

"I'm getting revenge against the idiots in Fairy World that took it by driving recklessly on the road!"

"OW. They won't give you your license if you're driving like this." I point out as we go over speedbumps and bang our heads on the roof before she turns into a neighborhood road.

"...Watch out for that dog!" Flappy cried, pointing at the small wiener dog in the middle of the road. Charmy squealed in excitement and turned the wheel sharply, avoiding the dog expertly and hit the brake, causing us to lurch foward as we stop.

"Gah! C...Charmy, w...what kind of driving is that?" Sanderson freaked out as he shook in horror in the passenger seat. She smiles and winks at him.

"I sometimes pretend I'm a race car driver." Just then, we heard loud sirens. We looked in the back and saw red and blue lights flashing behind us...and they were coming up quick.

"Oh great...the police are after us!" Flappy groaned and rolled his eyes. Sanderson booted Charmy out of the seat and took over.

"Idiot! ...This is all your fault! If it wasn't for you...we wouldn't be in this mess!" He said as he put the pedal to the metal and drove away with the tires squealing.