Summary: Smash! Watch It All Collapse!

Crossover: Bastard!!, Slayers

Disclaimer: I don't own Bastard!!, Slayers, Hellsing, or Buffy the Vampire Shagger. Although, if the respective owners want to swap for a couple of CDs that's fine.

Feedback: Yeah, baby!

Pre-fic Comments:

Wooo! Another two bags of Curiously Strong mints for me! El Dragonbreath rides again!

Ethan leant against a wall hanging as he watched the stranger stand in front of the two-faced bust of Janus.

"Having fun, are we?," Ethan asked.

Cash smiled, sockets staring into the distance as his hands traced lines that only they could follow across the smooth surface.

"You're so small and petty minded, Rayne," the blind teacher said absently. "You could have been great, and sold a line of costumes all over America."

"Where's the fun in it if I can't stand back and watch the aftermath firsthand?," Ethan asked, as he went through to another back room and filled the electric jug with water.

"It's amazing, what you've created," Cash continued. "A thousand sources of power, all tied into their costumes and the bust. Enough energy to power the world for years, to send a Saturn V to the moon, to do so much... and you waste it on costumes and summoning, leaving the remainder to leak away into the atmosphere?"

"I've always been easy to keep happy," Ethan shrugged as he stirred a teaspoon of sugar into his bone china cup. "What would I do with it? Write my name in the sky?"

Cash smiled, the scarred flesh around his blackened sockets distorting in a disturbing way. "Perhaps it is as well, then, that you have me around to do the thinking for you."

And a column of light shot up from the bust, extending down to the center of the earth and up to the moon.

Integra wheeled sharply on her heel, seeing a flicker out of the corner of her eye.

"'Ello, luv," a British voice called out. "What's a cute bird like you doing out in a nasty place like this?"

"Who the hell are you?," Ranma asked.

"What's he gibbering about?," Spike asked, coming into the light and flicking his cigarette butt at the Japanese boy.

"He asked who you are," Integra cooly translated.

Spike's gameface flashed, bumpy forehead, yellow eyes, and fangs blatant. "I'm dining out."

The Walther rose into the air, smoothly jerking off a bullet that burnt through the heart of the vampire.

"The order has not changed," Integra ground out, eyes closed. "Search and destroy! Search and DESTROY! Crush anything and everything that gets in our way! Don't run or hide, but leave from the front door! Destroy all obstacles and go straight through!"

Angel quietly began to make panicking noises, eyes wide open. Ranma, also stunned, poked through the ashes left by Spike, fishing out the silver bullet. He wordlessly handed it to Integra, who pocketed it.

"What was that about?," Ranma asked. "The speech thing?"

"Nothing," Integra said quietly. "I will find and destroy all the vampires. This is my life's work."

Ranma scratched the back of his head. "Er, you wanta hand?"

Then the two collapsed, as a brilliant beacon of light shot up into the heavens from town.

Willy gave a thankful oath as the two freeloaders finally collapsed. Man, they drank like a school of fishes! He told the bouncer to throw them out, and the two magic users were stripped of anything of value and thrown out in short order.

If they complained, he'd tell them that the vampire Spike did that. He still owed Willy money.

All over Sunnydale, the two and three foot tall demons terrorising Sunnydale began to faint. Thankful citizens simply threw the monsters out of their houses onto the lawns and locked their doors, waiting for sunrise in an unconscious obedience to the Rules. (Those Rules being - lock your doors after sundown, never invite people in, and never go out after sundown.)

At Ethan's Costume Shoppe, Ethan collapsed as well since he was the spellcaster for the thing. A thousand white streaks of light flowed through him into the two-faced bust, and from there into Cash's hands. The Englishman's hair turned white from the immense amount of energy flowing through him.

Angel gasped as he managed to pry the last bullet out of his elbow with a pocket knife, then collapsed back against the wall of the alleyway as his vampiric healing kicked in once the holy and blessed silver had been removed.

Once he had recovered, he got to his feet. For some reason, while Buffy had seemed to have lost a few inches in height, reverting from Integra back to her normal form, the Japanese boy's body had not altered one iota. Angel strongly doubted that there were any American-Japanese boys in Sunnydale with a body that strong. He shrugged it off and picked up the two, deciding to go to the Sunnydale Library to hand the Slayer and the stranger to Giles.

Xander groaned as he shook his head... where was he? And what was with his hair? What was Faith and him doing in some alleyway?

Memory flooded in as he played with a long strand of silver hair. Halloween. Yeah. Snyder. Ugh.

Possession.

Xander didn't like other people monkeying around with him.

He shook Faith's shoulder, then paused to watch her chest shake a bit in the barely-there bikini. Peeling his eyes away and firmly fixing them on her /face/, he shook her shoulder a bit.

"Wha...? X? Where the hell are we?," Faith asked. "And why am I running around in a barely-there bikini?"

"Halloween, remember?," Xander reminded her. "We... kinda got possessed."

"Cool," Faith said. She held up a hand. "Lighting!"

A ball of light floated above her palm. Xander felt jealous that she could make such a bright ball of light, before consoling himself with the fact that that meant that he was more powerful in other types of magic.

Angel managed to lay the two unconscious bodies on the large table in the Library before Giles noticed him.

"Oh! Angel!," Giles said, quite surprised. "Why is Buffy here, and unconscious? And who is that boy there?"

"That ain't important," a Brooklyn voice said, as a man dressed like a pimp strolled out from the shadows. "What /is/ important is that Soulboy here ain't gonna be sniffing around this Slayer's door no more."

"But I've got to help her!," Angel protested. Giles pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose as he took a step back to watch the situation unfold.

"She ain't gonna want yer help, and ya weren't supposed to make with the smoochies with her, ya schmuck! Geddouta here and inta the car before I smack you one. Go on, get!," the pimp said. To Giles shock, the Irish vampire with a soul obeyed.

"Er, who are you, and what are you?," Giles asked, feeling quite lost. "And what on earth is going on?"

"Long story short, I'm in charge of El Soulboy there," the pimp said. "Balancing Demon, name's Whistler, I works for the Powers That Be. Look 'em up. Tonight? That was a mate of yours, opened a shop here in Sunny D. Your little friends decided to buy their costumes from him. Look, I've got to go keep an eye on Romeo before he starts chatting up /another/ Slayer."

Post-fic Comments:

Wasn't that fun?