Summary: Fall! The collapse of normality.

Crossover: Bastard!!, Slayers

Disclaimer: I don't own Bastard!!, Slayers, Hellsing, or Buffy the Vampire Shagger. Although, if the respective owners want to swap for a couple of CDs that's fine.

Feedback: Yeah, baby!

Pre-fic Comments:

Nestle' Mint Slice. Shyeah, right. More like "Nestle' Choco Bar, with a Hint of Mint." Waste of $2.30. Don't waste yer money on it, folks. Nestle's mint choc bars (South African things, red and blue wrapper, can't remember the name offhand) are a million times better. Man, I need to get more of the latter. (Maybe Daenrys can remind me as to the name. Some Italian-South African friends turned me onto those things.)

Does anyone else have a disturbing tendency to laugh during heavy metal songs?

* * *

Willow groaned as she slowly woke up.

"Owwww... my head--"

She abruptly stopped talking as she realised something. Her voice. It was way too masculine to be /her/ voice.

"What the?," Willow said experimentally. The timbre and tone was, indeed, un-Willow-like.

She turned her body around, then opened her eyes and looked down.

After looking around to make sure that no one was around and conscious, she did an exploratory grope. Her hand confirmed that the wrong genitals were there. She felt dirty, somehow, after that. And she couldn't see the two bumps on her chest that she had been accustomed to.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!," the body of Ranma Saotome screamed in a most unmanly fashion.

* * *

Buffy groaned as she woke up, a male shriek piercing her comforting cloud of mental oblivion.

"Shaddup, it's only... ten at night?," she said, peering at her wrist. "Where am I?"

The slayer jumped up from where she had been lying on the floor and had a look around. She was at the Sunnydale High School Library, and was next to some guy with black hair in a pigtail -- obviously the shrieker.

"BuffybuffybuffyyougottahelpmeI'mNOTinawillowlikebodyandsomethingisMAJOR LYwrongand--," the boy started babbling.

Buffy slapped him one.

"Again, from the top, /slowly/," Buffy said calmly. "You're as bad as Will."

"Buffy, you gotta help me I'm NOT in a Willow-like body and something is MAJORLY wrong," the boy said, a Japanese accent colouring his words.

"What?," Buffy asked, totally confused. "You're way wigging out and making no sense."

"I'm Willow," the boy said. He began to go into panic mode again. "SomethingwentWAYwrongandI'minthewrongbodyandtheIRDandthelocalgovernment andtherestofthegovernmentandallthecorporationsareNOTgonnarecognisemeand-- "

Buffy tuned the boy who claimed to be Willow out, and picked up a glass of water that was on the main table.

"Chill /out/," Buffy said, tipping the water onto the boy's head.

The Slayer's mouth dropped open in surprise when the blackhaired boy turned into a red-headed Willow. Luckily, the glass bounced off the carpet with little damage to it.

Feeling the cold water, Willow's hands immediately went south. A smile creased her face when the arms encountered two obstacles, and the smile widened to a grin when she felt a distinct lack of certain things.

"YAY! I'M A GIRL AGAIN! WOOOOOO!," Willow cheered.

Eventually, Buffy regained her communication link with the outside world. "Ah, does that meant that you're bisexual now?"

* * *

Xander was having a lot of fun on the way back to the High School, and the provider of answers.

The vampires of Sunnydale had caught wind of his slight enjoyment of anime, and where he had drawn his nickname of 'Xander Inverse' from. Anime series like Slayers, and Bastard!! were therefore quite well known amongst the undead Americans of California now, as a result.

"AAAAAHHHH!," a leech shrieked in a most ladylike fashion as it spotted him coming. "Inverse wasn't bad enough, now Dark Schneider has come to get us as well! RUN, THE BASTARD'S HERE!"

Xander would have hit the bloodsucker, except that he was laughing hard enough that his lance of flame missed by a foot, scorching the bricks next to the vamp. It fainted dead away, falling to the pavement.

Just as well that Faith was there as well. She staked it.

"Ohohohohoho! What a trip," the dark Slayer smirked. "You okay there, X?"

"Man, those things kill me!," Xander choked out. "Or rather, they dont, and that's what makes it so... pbfffft... funny!"

"Breathe," Faith advised. "Choking to death would be wicked uncool."

"I'm okay," Xander ruled, straightening up. "Have we gotten to our prison, yet?"

"Just about," Faith shrugged. "Hey, you remembering all kinds of groovy things from that bit of fun just now?"

"You mean spells like Venom, or Megadeth?," Xander asked. "Sure. You?"

"Ooooohoohohohohoho!," Faith laughed in answer. A window nearby shattered in response to Naga the White Serpent's (in)famous laugh.

Xander watched her chest bounce up and down in time to her laugh, hypnotised. Once she stopped, he shook her head. Man, he was torn between loving watching and loathing listening.

He shrugged mentally as he held the main door open for Faith. Some of Darshe's supreme confidence had leeched into him as well.

"You want to go on a date tomorrow night?," he asked. "Burgers at Mackers, dancing at the Bronze, then movies and episodes at Chateau De La Harris."

* * *

Post-fic Comments:

Well, I hope you enjoyed watching the fall-out.