Library Pass

By

Pat Foley

Chapter 5

There's lots of marvelous things to eat
And wonderful games to play.

Across the path, Amanda wrenched back from Sarek. "What was that?" She strained to her above her own breaths in the thin night air. But now she heard nothing but the cry of a distant nightbird.

Sarek blinked. "I obviously wasn't listening. Amanda--"

"It sounded like a voice. Sarek, let's go. We have duties, my husband."

"Very well," Sarek said, "but that is another kiss you owe me, my wife."

"You're never delinquent in collecting your due," Amanda countered.

Their voices faded away.

On the other path of rose hedges, Sascek hesitated, straining his ears. Then when finally convinced that even Vulcan hearing was safe, he let T'Jar go.

"How dare you!" she sputtered, when he'd removed his hand from her mouth. "You great hulking beast!"

"Would you have Sarek know you were watching him? In such private endeavors?"

Reminded of this, T'Jar forgot her quarrel with Sascek, her cheeks coloring at the thought. "But you saw it." T'Jar's almond shaped eyes were as wide as saucers. "You saw them! Sascek, you saw them ki--"

"Yes," Sascek said hastily. "Softly, T'Jar!" He turned his back firmly on their retreating employers and hustled her down the other end of the darkened path, only too well aware of Vulcan hearing, even at this distance. And T'Jar's voice was entirely too unmoderated. He had no desire for Sarek to ever know of this discussion. "You are very young and perhaps you don't understand. As a personal guard, as a personal attendant, one sees things. But one doesn't ever --"

T'Jar tried to crane her neck around Sascek's broad back. "But you saw--"

He took her hand and turned her around again. "T'Jar, one never looks. Nor is what one sees ever spoken of among the staff. It would be an invasion of their privacy."

T'Jar drew herself up, stung by the implicit criticism in that undeniable fact but discounting it all in light of what she'd seen. And given how much she wished to discuss it. "Oh, that is so unfair!"

Sascek was still in lecturing mode. "Unfair? It is not our business. T'Jar, why are you even interested in--"

"But you saw him," T'Jar insisted, still too stunned to care for discretion. "Kissing her. He kissed her, Sascek. Sarek --"

Sascek shrugged, discomfited, but trying not to show it. "What of it? She is a human female. It is the way of her people."

"But he is Vulcan." T'Jar said.

"She follows Vulcan ways in many respects. Is it not logical for him to acknowledge something of her customs?"

T'Jar considered that, looking crestfallen. "Logical. Oh."

"It does not make Sarek less Vulcan, less of a leader, to respects his wife's human ways."

"But they are not our ways," T'Jar said, almost as if she wished to hear it countered.

"No. Of course not. We are Vulcan." Sascek was smugly superior. "We have no need for such doings."

"Can we learn nothing from humans?"

"What would you wish to learn?" Sascek asked, taken aback.

T'Jar looked wistfully after the pair. "Oh, I could never ask him, anyway."

"To ask Sarek? What would you wish to ask him?"

"You – you wouldn't understand." T'Jar looked down at her basket. "T'Rueth will be displeased that I have delayed so long in getting these to her. We should go. I should go.

"T'Jar," Sascek began...

Sedet appeared around the corner. "Sascek, you are here. We are going to do a final sweep of the grounds to ensure all is secure and the guests are all in the main hall at their dinner before taking our own."

"I must go, I have duties, " T'Jar said, and flew to the kitchens.

And Sascek looked after her, his black eyes narrowed.

xxx

The evening wore on, though there was no moon to wax and wane. T'Rueth's dinner was a smashing success to all palates, and the cook believed herself vindicated. Flushed with triumph, she was already planning what she would do next time. Amanda had passed onto her more than a dozen requests for recipes. And when Amanda had confirmed to the amazed guests who wished to know who had catered the delicious dinner that her own staff had prepared it, T'Rueth herself had received three surreptitious offers of employment from other embassies, one even requiring future travel to another planet, from those who believed the loyalty and labor of Vulcan attendants could be purchased for mere wages. She would have to ask her lady how to refuse those without offense. But she felt she had vindicated her own position, and went off to her own bed, exhausted but assured of her reputation. And the reputation of Vulcan superiority in such doings.

The last hour of the party Amanda and Sarek spent taking leave of each guest, even as they had welcomed them in the first. As they were bidding the Tellurite Ambassador to Vulcan goodbye, Amanda nudged her husband and whispered, at a pitch for his ears alone, "He looks something like a Teddy Bear, don't you think?"

Sarek gave her a reproving look but commented, "Would he and his kind be only as amenable." To which she laughed. Everyone knew Tellurites were always up for an argument, and Gonosh was no exception, his strident voice heard arguing from one end of the table to the other. She always pled forgiveness in advance to whomever she partnered him with at table for that reason alone.

Eventually, the majority of the guests had left, leaving, as is always the case, those few counted as friends and long time allies. They ended up out by Amanda's pool, for the Newtonian Ambassador Narvon was most comfortable in Vulcan's heat when he was wet. While he floated, and Amanda, removing her sandals, dangled her feet in the water,they talked such shop talk as Federation leaders will, upcoming legislation and strategies, High Council issues and new planetary admissions. After a while even those old friends felt the evening's passing and then, after Narvon had hauled himself out of the pool, his skin sagging with dampness, but cheerfully refreshed, and the Helio ambassador Ning unwound herself from the bougainvillea trellis where she'd been most agreeably perched, the last aircar went winking through the night air. And they were, finally, alone.

Amanda drew a deep breath when it finally disappeared. "Well, we got through that."

"It was your usual success, was it not?" Sarek enquired. "Even by human standards. Everyone seemed to," he hesitated over the word but then went for it, "…enjoy themselves."

"It was. I won't deny it. T'Rueth really outdid herself."

"As I told you, my wife, controlled and logical Vulcan attendants will prove worthy in the end."

"So you said." Amanda sighed deeply. "But I'm glad it's over. Hosting these things is like mixing matter and antimatter." She gave him a look. "And you were certainly no help at one point. Honestly, Sarek, sometimes I think you are a danger junkie."

"A what?"

"Someone who enjoys taking risks, for the adrenalin rush."

"Vulcans do not metabolize adrenaline, Amanda."

"Huh," she huffed. "You could have fooled me. Either all these aliens are a bad influence on you, or you're absolutely right about those five thousand years of evolution not being long enough."

"At times, Vulcan discipline does seem to lack something of efficacy," Sarek remarked.

"Can you at least wait until we get upstairs?"

"Actually," Sarek flushed a little, "It has been a long evening, my wife. And I was so engrossed in conversing with our guests that--"

"You didn't eat dinner."

"No," Sarek confessed. "I did not."

"I thought so. Want to raid the kitchen?"

"I am very hungry," he admitted.

"I'm sure there must be something left, even after all these…ravenous hordes. T'Rueth made enough that we'll be eating leftovers for weeks. Come and let's see what sort of dent you can make in them." Amanda led the way.

xxx

Having helped with the final security sweep after the last guests had departed, somewhat delayed since the Helio Ambassador's consort had gotten a little tipsy on honeysuckle nectar and needed assistance in being taken home, Sascek came back to the kitchen. It was empty except for T'Jar. Sascek glanced around regardless. "All the guests have departed."

"And the staff as well. T'Rueth left me to clear." She gave him a look. "I hope you have not come back for another meal, Sascek. I have just finished cleaning up the kitchen."

"I came back to finish our discussion."

"You mean for you to finish telling me how to behave."

"No," he protested. And then… "Well, yes, in some respects. T'Jar, you must know your behavior was improper."

She colored a pale chartreuse. "I do not see how it was so very improper. I had every right to be where I was. It is not as if I deliberately invaded their privacy. I did not mean to …look."

Sascek was relieved. Since seeing her this morning watching Sarek, and then again this evening, he had harbored just the trace of a suspicion… After all, there had been T'Lean. "Then you don't want Sarek?"

"Sarek? What ever would I want with Sarek?"

Sascek drew himself up. "But you have been …looking at him. Taking notice of him. In a most improper way."

"Of him? Him? Certainly not." She tossed her head. "He is My Lady's bondmate. Do you think I am she who would tread on another's garment?" She shivered slightly. "And he is – he is very old, Sascek."

"Old? Sarek is not even of middle age."

"He is too old for me," T'Jar dismissed with the callousness of youth. "He has a son older than me. And he is my Lady's, as she is his. Are you so unseeing, Sascek, that you do not perceive the strength of their bond? "

"So you are not interested in Sarek?" Sascek reiterated. Beginning to hope anew.

"Certainly not! He is committed to another. And even if he were not," she looked thoughtful. "He is a clan leader. He lives a public life. His children of necessity are heirs to the clan."

"Are you thinking of Spock?" Sascek bridled. "You know he is bonded to T'Pring."

"T'Pring!" T'Jar was offended on behalf of her sex. "Highborn or not, she is a faithless one. Everyone knows how Stonn attends her. It is the worst sort of scandal; hush it up though they may."

"So you are thinking of Spock."

T'Jar's eyes widened at this, as if considering it. "I have seen his holo in my lady's study. He is handsome. Though not so handsome as his father. But he is promised to another. Faithless as T'Pring is, he is hers. And even if he were not, he is too high born for me. I would not consider him, even if he were unbonded."

"Indeed. He is not of our caste. Your family have no great wealth or seat in Council to offer his family. Even if he were unbonded. And he is not."

T'Jar tossed her head. "I did not mean that. The lady Amanda is not of Sarek's caste yet he chose her. Does she have wealth or position?"

"Who can know what a human's status is?" Sascek said. "Perhaps she has by human standards. Or perhaps she was, as many have said, a treaty gift that he could not refuse. He brought her back from Terra with the Federation treaty."

"Surely not."

"It is a logical assumption. Why else would he take her to wife? A human?"

"Because he loves her. That should be obvious even to you."

Sascek did not even bother to dignify that with a comment.

T'Jar bridled. "Do you think such affection is impossible for a Vulcan?"

"I did not say that."

"You did not say anything." When he continued to say nothing, she persisted. "But you must see how he is with her."

"T'Jar, I have told you this is not to be spoken of."

"But do you think it impossible?" T'Jar insisted.

Sascek did not answer for a moment and she drew a breath and turned away from him. "I did not think you so….unregarding"

"Perhaps it is provincial in me," Sascek said darkly.

"Provincial?"

"I am sure she has many laudable qualities. She is intelligent. In her human way. And she helps him with his work."

"What are you saying?"

"She is an …odd creature. An inside out creature."

"Sascek, whatever can you mean?"

"Her emotions, that which we keep hidden, are so… flamboyant."

"It is the human way. And he does not seem to mind her emotions."

"Perhaps not. But she is emotional, where we are controlled. And yet, in contrast, her person lacks color. And what color she has is …odd. No doubt she is learned and worthy, but I am grateful to be only a Palace Guard, that I am not required to take such a being to wife." He looked at T'Jar. "What is your interest in the Lady Amanda, if you have no interest in Sarek?"

T'Jar was amazed. "That is why you think his caring is impossible? That she is human?"

"I suppose one could excuse such eyes in a bondmate," Sascek grumbled. "Even though they are pale as water. Eyes are not so obvious a feature. But many Terrans have near Vulcan coloring in eyes and hair, and one wonders why he could not pick – or be gifted with -- one at least with some color in her --"

"Among humans her hair is considered a most desirable color. All the books say --"

Sascek glanced at her. "Hair with almost no color at all? Impossible."

"It is called blond. And most desirable among humans, at least by what I have – According to the books, many humans even change their hair to possess that color!"

"If one were to change one's color, it would only be logical to give oneself color, not take it away. And well she should do so. She is so pale a thing, one would need Vulcan acuity to see her in the dark. I do not envy Sarek such a bondmate."

"You know nothing of human ways. But Sascek, that is not what I was asking. I was asking if you thought--"

"They are not for us, T'Jar. Not Sarek, or the Lady Amanda. I do not want, nor want you, to consider them. Or their son. T'Jar, they will never be your family, if you are thinking of them in that way."

"I am not interested in Spock! Faithless as T'Pring is, he belongs to her and she to him. And Spock is too well born in the sense that his wife is a clan leader by default. I wish to live a private life." Her eyes rose slightly to Sascek. "A very private life. If my bondmate …kissed me, I would not wish it to be …observed. I would not wish to be kissed…behind a door. Or a gate. Or a hedge. While my staff watched, however inadvertently."

Sascek's eyebrows rose. "Do you expect your bondmate to …kiss you? A Vulcan?"

For a moment T'Jar hesitated, and then she countered, "Why not?" she asked. "There is no touching forbidden between bondmates, in private. Never and always touching and touched. That is our way. Does not Sarek kiss the Lady Amanda?"

"Only because kissing is a human gesture. It is an outworlder contamination. Not of our ways."

T'Jar eyed him. "You speak of outworlder contamination to me? Your lady is human. Your profession has you forswear your life to the safety of a human. You speak her language. You will travel to Terra in her service or to other planets in the Federation, whereever she must go. You eat human foods – and seek them out, indeed based on your behavior at table you favor them. How can this single gesture be more of a contamination than all of that? How can their kiss be anything but an expression of IDIC? And…" she hesitated. "An expression of love."

"Love is for humans."

She looked almost wistful, the color rising in her cheeks. "But it appears to be also for some Vulcans."

Sascek considered her flushed face. "T'Jar…do you mean that all this time…you have never been interested in Sarek?"

"I have never been interested in him."

Sascek paused, disbelieving. "You have instead been interested in this…kissing? That is why you have been watching him?"

"I have not been watching him."

"The evidence--"

"I have never seen a kiss before this evening. I have been interested in …" she hesitated to say it.

"In love?"

"For a moment she resisted the characterization, then she admitted slowly, "I have read some of my Lady's fiction regarding love." She lifted her gaze to Sascek. "I find it…fascinating."

"You wish to bond with a human?" Sascek asked, dismayed. "One of these humans who guested here?"

T'Jar shivered. "No!" She looked at him. "Perhaps as Vulcans, we can not feel human love. But still …I could wish to be …yes, to be kissed…by my bondmate. As my Lady is kissed by hers. That is not impossible for Sarek, so it must be possible for Vulcans. And I would know of it myself."

"You would know of this," Sascek said amazed. "If not from Sarek, and not from a human, than from whom?"

For a moment their eyes met and a wordless look was exchanged between them. Then Sascek drew closer. She raised her face to his. And slowly, gingerly, he bent his head to her. Their lips brushed, retreated, brushed again, and then Sascek brought his mouth down on hers. And she leaned up into his embrace. And in that moment of breathless first kiss came to Sascek the unmistakable sound of a door opening.

Sascek pulled back as if burned. T'Jar had been distracted by an unfamiliar buzzing in her ears as Sascek brought his lips to hers, so she stared bewildered at him.

"T'Jar," he hissed, his face flushed green with embarrassment. "Someone is coming!"

Her eyes went wide with panic. In the next instant, Sascek pulled her against the wall behind the door as it swung open. And Amanda and Sarek walked through.

10

Chapter 5 of 12. To be continued