CSINut214's A/N: Honestly, the best part about this series is when Leslie and I call each other up and make the non-writer of the chapter read it aloud to the writer. Too too funny.
They spent the afternoon watching movies in Grissom's townhouse. He had a vast collection of DVDs.
"I love the actor who stars in Manhunter," Sara whispered, burrowing against Grissom's solid arm. "He is so mysterious and attractive."
"I prefer the murdered wife in Memento," he commented, winking at the reader broadly. They paused to allow for hearty laughter at the irony, then continued.
"Griss, do you think you'll ever want children?" she cooed.
"No," he said at once. "Never ever, in all of eternity, do I want children. Yick."
"What are you saying!" she gasped, as floodwaters of tears gushed down from her chocolatey brown eyes.
"This baby-making shop is closed!" he roared, much like a lion who didn't want children. Or cubs. "And besides, aren't you the one who always has said she doesn't do well with kids?"
"Yes, but deep in my soul I've harbored a need for them greater than the fiery heat of the sun!" Sara wailed and ran for the door. "Gil Grissom, I wish I'd never met you!" she cried as she fled.
He dropped his head into his hands and wept. Soon after, a migraine gripped his head in a viselike manner, and he swallowed several pills, welcoming the inky blackness.
A knocking noise woke him from slumber. "Sara?" he murmured, then groped his way over to the door. Never in a million years could he have been prepared for what he saw there.
"Hello, Mr. Grissom," whispered Lady Heather. "I do hope I've come at a convenient, relevant time."
Grissom shook his head. "No, it's a terrible time. I've just chased away the woman I love."
"You must mean Sara," she said immediately, even though she'd never met or even seen Sara. "I could tell that you were in love with her back when I first met you. Go to her, Mr. Grissom. Go now. Or I'll whip you raw." She walked away slowly, her leather-clad boobs looking fabulous.
"Hmm, I dunno," Grissom murmured.
Suddenly, another figure appeared. "Hello, Mr. Grissom."
"Lurie!" he gasped. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, it took me a couple of seasons to think about what you said," remarked the tall, murderous, Rogaine-using doc. "And you aren't like me at all. Your love for Debbie's twin is pure and true. I know this, even though I never met or even saw Sara. Toodles."
Grissom gaped as Lurie skipped away. Hmm, he thought. I am still unconvinced.
Just then, one last person walked up to his doorway. "Hello, Gil," the man said.
Grissom looked at the man before him, who had curly white hair, blue eyes, a cleft chin, a scar by his eyebrow, and bowed legs. "Daddy?"
"Yes, 'tis I," Daddy Grissom affirmed. "I'm here to tell you that you won't end up like me. You'll be a great, doting, loving father. Go to Sara, who I know all about somehow, and tell her you want children with her. Go to her, Gil."
"I shall!" Grissom cried, running out the door with his arms flailing wildly. "Oh, Daddy, I shall!"
Meanwhile, Sara had put a tear-soaked letter of resignation on Grissom's desk, and had fled to Boston, Massachusetts. I'll start a new life for myself, she thought. One with respect, and children. Maybe even respectful children, because that would fulfill both requirements in one shot.
She wandered the streets of Boston, going to places such as Faneuil Hall and a Red Sox game. Grissom, she knew, was a Cubs fan, even though he wasn't from Chicago or anything.
I can't stop thinking about him, even here! she lamented internally. Then she bought an Orange Julius and slurped it sadly, staring at the happy couples walking by.
"Woe is me!" she wailed, sounding like she could be a professional singer, like she did when she sang that 'one way or another' line. "Oh, woe is me!"
A tap on her shoulder got her attention. Griss? she thought desperately, turning around.
"Hello, Sara."
The woman standing before her was gray-haired, with big brown eyes, a gap-toothed smile, and long legs.
Sara shook her head in disbelief. "Mom?"
"Yes, Sara. It's your mom. You may remember me from such instances as your Lexis-Nexis search, or the time I stabbed your dad to death."
"What are you doing here?"
"Forgive him," Laura Sidle said deeply, referring to Grissom, who she'd never met or even heard of. "Forgive him, for he is your true love." The two women embraced, but it wasn't erotic or anything because they were related. Just then, Sara's cell phone rang.
"Hello?" she said, without checking the caller ID.
"Oh, Sara!" Grissom cried into the phone. "My dearest darling, please don't leave me!"
Sara turned to tell her mother that Grissom was on the phone, but Laura had disappeared into the Beantown crowd.
"Griss, I want to be with you forever!" Sara sobbed. "If you don't want kids–"
"I do!" he shrieked. "It took Lady Heather and Lurie and Daddy Grissom to show me the light, but I do indeed want babies!"
"Hooray!" she cheered, doing a heel-click with joy. "My darling, I will get back on a plane right now, so we can start investigating Applied Psychodynamics in Copulation as soon as possible!"
"Not necessary," a voice said from behind her. She whirled around to see Grissom standing there.
"How did you find me?" Sara gasped.
"I did a flight records search, using the lab's resources, and figured out that you were in Boston."
"Yes, but how did you know I would be standing right in this spot at this moment?"
His eyes darted around. "Uh... look over there!"
She turned. "Where?"
"Oh, I guess it ran away. Anyway, let's go somewhere and make passionate love!"
"Yes!" she agreed, forgetting about the plot hole. "I have a hotel room!"
He held up a bag, filled to the brim with whips, handcuffs, and assless chaps. "And I have props!"