Disclaimer: This series is intended as in-between vignettes of my other fanfic, Of Life and Lemonade, so in order to understand it, you probably should read that one first. Since that one is Amelia-centered, this series will focus on the other characters that pop up. Slayers is owned by very talented people who make all the money. Please don't sue.
Occurs around chapter 21 to 23 of Life.
Chapter 7
Four Meetings and a Funeral
Okay, so she had made another mistake.
What the heck was she thinking, giving Xelloss her cel phone number? She might as well have given a snake a nice defenseless mouse…
"You know that you don't have to keep coming back here to get looked at, right?" she asked as the trash lid slammed shut. Filia pulled off her latex gloves with a snap and turned around to regard the man who was sitting on the examination table. He had the nerve to actually come in three days after she had last seen him and request her 'services' once again.
Thinly veiled intentions.
Well, at least she could see right through them this time.
"But Miss Filia," he explained as he pulled his shirt back on, "Zelgadiss really did a number on me the other day…"
"Well, that was your own fault, wasn't it?"
He smiled. "That actually wasn't what I was talking about. We worked out the next day. He was rather… angry. Not at me, amazingly, but I was still the unfortunate victim of his emotions."
"You fought again?"
"No. Worked out."
"That was dumb. No matter how small the wound, you can reopen it with too much exertion…"
"Therefore, the reason for my visit."
"And that visit is over, so here's your bill. I already told you. Whatever we need to say to each other can wait until this weekend." With hardly a glance back, she opened the door and returned to her station, all the while, silently fuming at his gall.
To make matters worse, as he passed her on his way out, he whispered just loud enough for her co-workers to hear, "I look forward to seeing you this weekend, Filia." And with a smirk and a wink, he was gone.
That sparked a whole round of denials from Filia as to what exactly her relationship was with this particular good-looking patient. Two days later, she was still fending off the rumors circulating around the hospital about the shrew finally becoming tamed, but by that time, she was beginning not to care.
She had been leaving work on Friday when Val called her needing a favor. It was a simple enough request, something that was easy for her to accomplish, but something that would cause her to break her appointment with Xelloss. She agreed with a somewhat guilty heart; she was going to go back on her word to meet up with Xelloss the next day. But it was only because Val needed her.
And, of course, when she called him to give him the bad news, it did not sit too well with Xelloss. His silence should have been her first indication of his displeasure.
"Are you still there?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry. I just found out today. If I had known earlier, I would have let you know."
"So, regardless of the fact that we already had a date…"
"It's not a date!"
"… since last week, you're going to ditch me at the last minute to rush to the rescue of that good-for-nothing…"
"Xelloss," she warned.
"… kid who can't even have the decency to let you know in advance that he's going to have a funeral for another reprobate?"
"I'm hanging up the phone!"
"Hn… that's how it still is, huh?"
"I'm not having this conversation with you now, Xelloss."
"And that means that I should sit twiddling my thumbs until you decide to call me back?"
"Lina, Val and Amelia need a ride to the Marina so they can have the last rites for their friend. For you to call that boy a reprobate is totally heartless, Xelloss, regardless of what he did."
"You didn't answer my question, Filia."
"See? This is why I left you in the first place! You… you…" She sighed. Why did her chest hurt so much? Why were her eyes burning? Dammit. "I've got to go."
Filia turned off her phone. Needing time to think, she continued to drive until she reached a tiny store on the fringes of downtown. It was a very unassuming place, set on the street-level corner of an apartment complex, and painted in a drab olive green to match the vines trailing up a trellis in front of the store. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door, a tiny bell signaling her entrance.
It was a cozy place, decorated in rich Victorian lace and toile, with dozens of tables situated about, each covered with the frilly fabric tablecloth and topped with a full tea service. Behind the counter were no less than thirty metal canisters, each filled with different and aromatic tea leaves. Steam rose into the air from two hotpots boiling water as well as three steeping teapots, ready to serve. A woman in her forties, dressed in an elegant purple dress with a matching scarf wrapped about her neck, turned around with a tired smile.
"Welcome to the Vintage… Why, Filia dear, what happened to you?"
Miss Beverly, the Tea Mistress, held out a comforting arm to the young woman and immediately guided her to a small table in the corner, ignoring the curious glances from the other patrons.
"Jerry, a pot of French Vanilla Plum, please?" she called back to the man behind the counter. To Filia, she continued, "And a serving of tea sandwiches and cakes, my dear? The usual?"
Filia didn't realize that she must have appeared exceptionally distressed, but from the normally stoic woman's reaction to her, she guessed it to be so. Only finding the strength to nod, she allowed herself to be steered to her table. Lowering herself into the chair, she quietly fumed over the situation she now found herself in.
Who did he think he was? The arrogance! The utter disregard for her feelings!
Jerry set a steaming pot that was wrapped in a pink and lavender cozy in front of her and left her with a worried glance back. With hands shaking with irritation, Filia tipped milk and sugar in her teacup before pouring herself a cup of tea. As she sipped the soothing liquid, she began to feel more like herself.
And she began to feel guilty. She had just chosen Val over him, after all.
"Family comes first," she tried to convince herself, but it wasn't working very well. "He's just being overbearing…"
"But you know that he's got a right to. Wouldn't you feel the same if you were in his shoes?" her conscience calmly wondered as Miss Beverly placed a plate of cucumber sandwiches, tomato, basil and cheese sandwiches, and tea cakes before her.
"Eat up, dear. Can I get you another tea?" she asked.
"No, thank you, Miss Beverly. I'm just a bit… stressed out right now," Filia said with a small laugh. "Thank you, though."
"Anything you need, Filia, just let me know."
"Thank you," she repeated and continued to sip at her tea. Guilt was building inside her with each finger sandwich she ate. With each dainty bite, she began to feel more and more reasonable, and by the time she was finished with the plate and the pot of tea, she had decided to turn on her phone.
Almost immediately, it began to ring, startling her so badly that she nearly dropped it in her cup.
"Hello?" she answered without checking the caller id.
"Filia? Don't hang up, please. I'm sorry."
Her heart relented, and she sighed. "No, Xelloss. I'm the one who should apologize. It's just that…"
"You don't have to explain, Filia."
"No, I should. I… I really…" Her brow furrowed as she sought to find the right words, but they just weren't coming. She absently knocked the side of her head against the wall in frustration. Why was she suddenly so tongue-tied when it came to him?
"Don't do that, Fil. You're going to dent the wall."
"I know," she growled, covering her face with her free hand, and then she froze. "Where are you?" she demanded while her eyes scanned the windows and then settled on the tall form standing in the doorway.
If she lived to be a hundred, she truly believed that she would always find the man irritatingly attractive, no matter what they had been through personally. Tall and lean, mysterious and dashing, Xelloss had a presence about him that commanded attention while diverting it expertly away from himself. He was a master at manipulating people and the world around him, but he had a weak spot that she had only discovered after years of retrospection, and one that she had a pretty strong feeling still existed.
Herself.
Now, if she were a ruthless individual who preyed upon the weaknesses of others, then she most definitely would have used her power over him to her advantage. But she liked to think of herself as a good person, someone whose goal in life was to help people and to make the world a better place. And though she was frowning the whole time, she pushed out the other chair and motioned him over to sit.
"How'd you know where to find me?" she asked as he sat down.
Miss Beverly eyed him disapprovingly out of the corner of her eye, and when she placed a fresh pot of tea before them, she asked pointedly, "Is everything alright, Filia?"
"Yes, Miss Beverly. This will be my last pot. Thank you."
Once the woman walked away, Xelloss poured himself a cup of tea, complete with sugar and milk, the way Filia had shown him once upon a time.
"How do you think I knew?" he wondered between sips.
She almost laughed. "I guess I don't have to. You were the one who found this place for me after all… Look, Xelloss…"
"We don't have to talk right now, Filia," he said with surprising gentleness. "Just - don't forget your word."
It was a pleasant, but quiet, tea after that. Xelloss ended up paying for her afternoon tea, as well as a cup and saucer that had caught her eye (as a good-faith gift, he said.) But when she went home, she found it difficult to keep her mind from the old but familiar feelings that she had actually enjoyed in his company.
The funeral was far from orthodox. After picking up Amelia and Lina, she and Val drove to the Marina where she had just intended to wait for them, but at Lina's insistence, Filia joined them. They checked in at the dock, and followed one of the men out to the correct slip, past boat after shiny boat until they reached a rather beat-up junky fishing boat.
"Bebop…" Filia read the name on the rear of the boat. "Are we going on that?" she asked, trying to keep the worry from her voice. Filia didn't know a single thing about boats, despite having been born and raised within five miles of the ocean. All she knew was that they floated and bobbed around a lot, and that was giving them credit for staying afloat in the first place.
Val looked back at her, and despite the somberness of the occasion, he laughed at her. "I told you we're going to spread his ashes in the ocean. How did you think we'd get there?"
She glanced back at all the clean and well-cared-for boats they had just passed and then at the pile of junk that seemed to be sinking even now. "Can't we take one of those?" she posed, but knew the answer before the question was out of her mouth.
"Sure, but we don't know the owners of any of those. It's okay, Filia. This one is owned by an ex-Saillune PD officer."
"And that should make me feel better… how?"
"It'll be alright, Miss Filia," Amelia said with a smile, placing a comforting hand on her trembling arm. "Mister Jet takes good care of it, despite its looks."
"Yeah, don't worry. I wouldn't get on it if it would sink, and I actually live on the damn thing," a silky voice said at her shoulder, and Filia turned in surprise.
One of the most beautiful women she had ever seen stood before her, clad in what appeared to be one of Amelia's sister's fashions: a pair of bright yellow hot pants with a matching bright yellow halter top, a red oversized tied-off shirt, thigh-high stockings and white ankle boots. Hardly a fisherman's attire, that was for sure, but there was a hardness about this woman. Despite her beautiful glossy purple hair (which reminded her painfully of Xelloss… dammit!), and her unblemished milky skin, her emerald green eyes appeared suspicious, tired, angry, and sad all at once.
"Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say…"
"Hey, you're not offending me. 's not my boat. Hey, Val. Mel," she grumbled a greeting and stepped forward to the Bebop. With an ease that demonstrated her years of practice, she hopped to the ladder and pulled herself up and onto the deck. Without a backward glance, she disappeared below deck, leaving the small group where she found them.
"Well, that was rude!" Lina complained. "She didn't even invite us on or anything."
"Miss Faye is just like that, Miss Lina," Amelia explained, following the woman's example and jumping to the ladder. Her foot slipped, but her grip was strong enough to keep her steady, and she scrambled up and over the side.
"Hey, watch what you're doing, Amelia! You could have fallen in!" the redhead scolded, easily hopping aboard.
"Sorry."
"You should be more carefuuuul!" Lina slipped on a wet spot on the deck and crashed into the younger girl.
Filia watched them bicker for a moment before she realized that she, too, would have to cross the two foot gap to reach the crusty ladder and board the questionable vessel. She had backed away a step, so completely ready to head back to the car, when Val took her hand, pulling her towards the boat.
"Come on. I'll keep you steady," he said, and though his gallantry was commendable, his timing was lousy. After what she had just seen, there was no way she was going to get on that thing…
"Mel-mel!!!" a high voice squealed as Amelia was pounced on by a thin girl with hair much like Lina's in color, but more on the brownish side.
In fact, Ed seemed much more tamed, in general, than she ever was. Val supposed it had something to do with the death of her shipmate a few years back. He didn't know all the details, but apparently, the man still had links to organized crime, and they wouldn't leave him alone. Another story had something to do with a woman, but he doubted it was Faye. She seemed more subdued than Ed and Jet were nowadays.
But as dysfunctional as this little family was, despite all the fighting and the danger, Ed truly seemed happy here. The social workers kept trying to take her away, saying how the girl couldn't possibly be raised in the company of bounty hunters who weren't even a family. It wasn't a wholesome environment: two young women living with two bachelors. But in the end, they had decided that it was better than the family she had come from: a father who neglected her, who loved rocks more than his own daughter, and a creepy assistant who kept eyeballing the girl as she grew up. Apparently, her father was in another country now, with a new assistant (he actually listened for once when Ed had told him that the creep had made a move on her) and a new set of goals that had nothing to do with her.
And Jet and Faye kept her clothed, kept her fed, and kept her relatively happy by employing her services in their business. Ed, now seventeen, was clad in oversized cargo pants and a mini black tank top, an outfit that perfectly described her rough and tumble personality. Her hair was just below her ears now, layered and flipped up and held in place with a pink headband.
If Val didn't already know her, he'd probably think she was a cute little thing who he'd like to get to know better. But he did know her, and she definitely was too… bizarre for him.
"Val-person!!!" Ed yelled in his ear as she wrapped herself around him, pinning his arms to his sides. Damn. Now his clothes were going to be wrinkled.
"Hey, Ed. You look like a girl now," he grumbled grudgingly.
Her light brown eyes took in his form, and she slid off of him. He straightened out his white dress shirt and his slacks, glad that she hadn't held onto him for very long. When he glanced up, she was still staring up at him. Finally, she opened her mouth. "Wow. You're tall now."
"Naw. You just got shorter." He ruffled her hair, fluffing it out a little, and amazingly enough, she didn't fight him. "What's with the headband?" he wondered, tugging it slightly off kilter.
"Leave it alone!" she almost yelled as both her hands flew up to hold the pink thing in place. Val froze, and Amelia and Lina stopped their bickering to watch. Ed just stood there, fixing the headband until it sat correctly in her hair. "Faye-faye took money from Jet-person to buy it for Ed," she explained in a subdued voice, "so Ed will look more like a girl."
Val had enough girl friends to know when he had hurt one of their feelings. He hated feeling like a dork. "Well, it's working," he tried. When she didn't immediately perk up, he tried a different approach. "Hey, you've never met Filia, have you?"
That did the trick. Her face brightened and she looked around. "Fil-fil?"
"Yeah, she's my foster sister…" he began, holding out his hand to Filia, who was clutching onto the boat rail and trying to stay as close to the deck as possible. She didn't look too happy at all.
"Friend-sister! Will Fil-fil be coming with us to free Wen-person?"
Filia looked uncomfortably down at the girl who had just glomped her free arm. Val could almost sense the scream that she was holding in.
"Yes, she is. But I think that she needs to stay below deck until we get further out. She's not too used to boats. Can you show her your Tomato?"
"Tomato?" Filia asked, trying desperately to keep her lunch in as they walked across the deck to the door that Faye had disappeared into. "I'm not hungry…"
Ed squealed with delight. "Silly Fil-fil! Tomato's not a tomato. Tomato is Tomato! You say potato, and Ed says po-tah-toe…"
Luckily, they moved out of earshot before Ed could display the very reason Val had always kept the girl at a wary distance. Damn, but she could talk the ear off of anyone around, yet still hardly say a damned thing.
"Glad that's over," Lina muttered, still holding Amelia in a headlock. The girl seemed as oblivious as she was. "Hey, Val! When's this boat going to set sail?"
"Well…"
"This ship is going to cast off in two minutes, once I get the engine checked and prepped to go," a deep, gruff voice grumbled from the bridge. "As you can see, this is a fishing vessel, devoid of any kind of sail. Now, if you don't mind, would you please release your friend? I don't like fighting on my ship."
To her credit, Lina didn't shoot off a smart remark, though she terribly wanted to. Instead, she bit her lip and let go of Amelia's neck, patting her gently on the back. Even when they roughhoused, Lina was always careful not to hurt any of her friends, a fact that Amelia was very vocal to point out, especially now as she followed the voice to the bridge.
"… so you see, Mister Jet, Miss Lina wouldn't hurt me, even if I deserved it. She's got a great deal of self-control… well, except when it comes to eating," she added under her breath. Luckily for Amelia, Lina had become completely engrossed in the gadgets and knobs and levers on the control panel that she hadn't heard the added comment.
Then Jet laughed, a pleasant rumbling that issued forth from deep down in his chest and erupted in a natural exclamation of entertainment. "I'm glad to have you kids aboard, though from what Ed tells me, I wish it had been under better circumstances." He flipped a couple of switches and turned a key, and the engine roared to life. Val stood framed in the doorway, ready to say something, but Jet began to put him to work. "Val, right? Can you untie the mooring line and jump back aboard? You know what that is, right?"
He waved him off, and disappeared, muttering, "Yeah, yeah. I got it."
"Can we help, Mister Jet?" Amelia asked, hopeful to be of some use.
The man seemed to consider it for a moment, but his better sense won out. If he could remember correctly, Amelia had always been a bit of a klutz and prone to falling at the strangest times. "No, you ladies are guests on my boat. You don't have to lift a finger."
The cacophony of noise that filled the bridge at that comment was incredible.
Val: "Hey, I'm a guest and I just untied your damn line!"
Faye: "What the hell? They don't have to lift a finger, but I do???"
Lina: "You just called it a boat!"
Jet pushed the throttle forward and the Bebop surged towards the waterway. Only Faye, who was used to life on the boat kept her balance, while the rest fell back in a tangled heap.
"You have to, Faye, because you live here. That doesn't mean that you do. Besides, we have an arrangement, and I'm content enough to leave it at that. Doesn't mean I can't gripe about it, though."
Faye almost smiled, but her self-assured smirk said enough. "By the way, I came up to tell you that Ed's cracked the firewall on the Masters case. We'd better hurry this little soiree up if you want to move on it."
"We'll go out as far as the deeper water so they can spread their friend's ashes, then we'll head on back."
"Good. I don't think the blonde's going to make it very long out on open water, anyway." Faye patted Jet's shoulder and finally smiled, a tired but bemused sort of smile that Jet had come to appreciate. "I'm going to be down in my room if you need me. Good luck babysitting."
"Yeah. I'm going to need it…"
Filia didn't know Wen, and she didn't know Ed or Jet or Faye. She couldn't say whether or not she would have rather been having lunch with Xelloss, or being there for her friends when they needed her. After all, Lina was there for the same reason, so why shouldn't she?
The continuously rocking motion of the boat and the stuffy compartment which served as Ed's room was beginning to get to her, and she sought fresher air. At least if she was on deck, she'd be able to vomit over the side of the boat. Just what she was looking forward to on a nice Saturday off.
She found Lina sitting dangerously on the rail, one hand raised to shield her eyes from the sun so she could see where they were headed. Her tumbles of red hair floated about her head as if possessed by an energy the woman naturally exuded. Well, if Lina could sit and tolerate all of this for a person she hardly knew, then so could she.
"Sit down before you fall down, Filia!" she yelled over the wind. Clutching the wall the whole time, Filia made her way to her friend and sat down in the seat next to her. "You don't look too good."
"I don't feel so good. Everything keeps moving up and down and up and down…"
"Then don't look at the boat or the water. You'll make yourself sick. Come up here…"
"You've got to be joking!"
"… alright, then just stand up and hold on to the rail. Look out there." Lina pointed in the direction they were headed, and Filia saw the island in the distance, appearing much closer now that they were away from shore. It was a beautiful sight, with thin wisps of clouds in the dazzling blue sky behind the green and virtually untouched natural splendor of the island, the sunlight catching the tips of the waves and turning the ocean into a blanket of diamonds.
"Amazing…" she whispered, and for the first time since Val picked her up and dragged her aboard the questionable boat, she felt at peace.
"Yeah," Lina continued, "if you keep your attention on a fixed point out beyond the waves and the boat, then the motion-sickness isn't all that bad. And you get to appreciate the fact that the ocean is a wonderful place."
Filia smirked. Of course Lina would say something like that. She was one of those brave souls who not only enjoyed surfing, but she also enjoyed swimming in the middle of the ocean with dolphins. It was a great concept, and if Filia ever had the nerve to try something like that herself, she was sure that she would love it as well, but she just couldn't quite get over the fact that the ocean floor was waaaaaaaay too far below for her taste.
But still, the natural beauty was intoxicating, and she felt herself relaxing. "Thank you, Miss Lina. I feel much better now."
"Good. I can't have you getting sick on us, can I? Especially when it was my idea for you to come on the boat too."
Filia smiled at that, and then a startling realization hit her. Lina was here to help bury Val and Amelia's friend, but that same friend very nearly killed Gourry. How could she be so calm? Better question, how could she even be here?
"Miss Lina? May I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Are you okay with all of this? I mean after what happened to Mister Gourry…"
A strange look clouded Lina's face, and she stared down at the water. "It's still hard to think about, you know," she began. "When I think about how close he came to dying that day…" She shuddered, and tried to shake it off. "He did it willingly, you know. He's a cop, and he'll always put himself in harm's way to make sure innocent lives are protected. I figured one day, he'd join S.W.A.T. or something. You know, something that showcases his talents more. But he's content to be a regular officer, first on the scene, first in the line of fire…"
"It sounds like you've got a problem with that."
"Huh? Oh, well, you know, I don't want anyone to get hurt…"
"Especially someone you care about so much?"
That same haunted look crossed her features again, and she sighed. "Filia. Can I ask you a question?"
"What is it?"
"Remember when you and Xelloss broke up?"
To say that she was surprised would be an understatement, but she managed to croak out a, "Yes."
"You said that because he was the way that he was, because of the way he warped the truth and never gave you a straight answer, you would never be able to be with him the way that you wanted."
"Yes," she repeated, wondering where this was leading.
"Well, it's kinda the same with Gourry."
Filia was shocked. "Gourry lies to you?"
"No!" she corrected quickly. "Not at all. If anything, he's way too honest for his own good. You see, he's a cop who will always be putting himself in danger. That's just who he is. I don't know if I can ever… be with him the way I… I want to be selfish and ask him to quit, but I could never live with myself if he quits only because of me. That's not fair to him. If he can't give it up, then I still want to be able to protect him, but I don't see how I can."
"Have you ever thought of joining the force?"
"Me??? A cop? Oh, heck no! I've got a problem with authority as it is. I don't think I can take orders from someone. I like to make up my own rules," she declared, and the smile reappeared on her face.
"Then it sounds like you'd be a pretty good bounty hunter," someone interrupted, and the girls glanced over their shoulders. Faye was standing behind them, one arm hugging her bare stomach and the other lifted so her hand could shade her eyes. A lit cigarette hung from her red lips, bobbing up and down as she spoke. "Not that I'd like the competition, but you remind me a lot of somebody."
"Really? And who would that be?"
Faye just smirked and took a long drag. After slowly exhaling, she looked Lina up and down. "Naw. Stick with what you're doing, kid. You wouldn't believe the wrinkles this job can give you." And with that, she sauntered away, flicking her cigarette butt into the water.
"Hey! You're polluting the ocean!" Amelia yelled from her perch atop the other railing with Val, but Faye ignored them with a dismissive gesture, highly reminiscent of their red-headed friend.
Lina shrugged and muttered under her breath, "Maybe in another life, then…"
Filia studied her for a moment, wondering at the conflict within Lina's head and heart regarding Gourry. It was amazing that something so complex as love could baffle this young woman who could so easily solve everyone's problems but her own. Leave it to Lina to dole out advice left and right regarding sibling relationships, affairs of the heart, and interpersonal conflicts, yet still be so unable to deal with her own sister and her non-boyfriend.
"So, the real reason I wanted to talk to you," she was saying in a low voice, "is Amelia's birthday. Naga and I were discussing it, and we want to go clubbing. Girls only. Tons of fun. What do you think? Would you be able to help us plan it for next week sometime?"
A party? "Sure. Did you need help with the food, or location, or what?"
The steady low rumble of engines abruptly stopped, and Ed appeared in the doorway next to them. Lina whispered to Filia as she hopped down from her perch, "I'll call you later. It looks like this is it."
In the end, it turned out to be a plain ceremony, without the flowers or the mourners of other funerals, just the glistening water and the faint wailing of gulls. Val dug into his backpack and withdrew a small plastic container. It was a simple thing, something that one would easily pass over as unimportant, but he held it as if it were some kind of treasure. Amelia and Ed joined him at the stern, their backs to the wind as they spoke in low tones.
Filia and Lina never heard what the trio said to their friend as they scattered his ashes into the ocean, freeing him from the bonds of a life that had not been kind to him. It was an amazing thing to see the devotion of a group of kids whose only common ground was their time together in a correctional facility, and it was their bond that had drawn them to perform a service that no one else would have cared to complete.
Lina was the first one to step forward to the hugging group, and with a tentative hand on Amelia's shoulder, she allowed herself to forgive the boy who had almost killed the most important person to her. Filia followed suit and embraced them all, her palm resting gently on Val's elbow. He had been such a pain all those years ago, but it was his friendship with these girls that had calmed him and brought out the kind and caring boy she had always known was there. Faye awkwardly patted Ed on her head as she stared across the water, yet her thoughts inevitably turned to another informal service they had held on the same boat in the same waters not too long ago.
Jet silently watched them all, his brow creasing at the circumstances that had brought them all together once again. Although he didn't want to believe it, sometimes there were such things as hopeless cases. Victoria would weep.
When Filia stepped (actually, fell is the more appropriate word) off the boat, she vowed to never again board a thing like that again. They had returned to the marina quickly, skipping over the waves, to Lina's and Amelia's great delight. They stood at the bow of the ship, arms thrown out to their sides screaming, "I'm the king of the world!" into the wind and laughing the entire time. Not amusing to Filia. The rolling motion was too much for her to handle, and she was just glad that Val held her hair back while she puked her guts out over the side.
She had just settled into bed with a nice cup of peppermint tea that night when Lina called her to go over the details of the party. It was a surprise party that would be an all night affair with the possibility of spilling over to the next day. Fortunately, it happened to be the two days she actually had off of work. Unfortunately, it happened to be the two days she actually had off of work.
Xelloss was not going to like this.
She had promised him that the next day off she had, they would have the 'talk' that they needed, and from the looks of things, she was going to have to put it aside again.
"Hi, Xelloss?"
"Filia? What a pleasant surprise."
"Um… it's not really."
He sighed. "Don't tell me."
She rushed forward without thinking to explain. "Xelloss, it's Amelia's birthday, and Lina and Naga are throwing her a surprise party at some ritzy club. I've got to help set up and everything, and since it's going to be all night, I won't have any time. And the next day is her actual birthday, so I'll be going to that as well. I didn't plan any of this, I'm just helping out. Can we please re-schedule our meeting?"
A shadow crossed her doorway, and she looked up. Val was standing in the hall, arms crossed and a look of disapproval on his face. Filia felt as if she got caught with her hand in a cookie jar.
"I'll call you back," she said hurriedly and hung up the phone.
"Was that who I think it was?" Val asked, his eyes still boring into her skull.
"Who do you think it was?"
"I think it was Xelloss, and I think that you're nuts if you're talking to him again. Do you even remember what he did to you?"
Her infamous temper flared to life. "Of course I do! I've never forgotten it! It's been years, and I'm still dwelling in the past. I haven't been able to move on, Val, and it's killing me inside. I need to do this so I can get him out of my mind and my life once and for all."
His frown softened, but he held his ground. "I still don't think you should be spending any time with him. You should have your talk and then cut your ties. How many guys have you dated since him? You just need to look around and see who's out there."
"I don't have time for any of that, Val. I barely have enough time for my friends. How can I fit a boyfriend into my life right now?"
"You can't box up your life into your job. Before you know it, you'll be old and regretting the things you should have or could have done, and then it will be too late."
"The great Val speaks from experience?"
"Your job is your drug, Filia. You're using it to escape your pain and your reality as much as I used drugs to escape mine. Shoulda woulda coulda. And there are a lot of things I regret, and it's too late for me now."
The scathing reply she had at the ready stopped on her tongue. Val hardly ever spoke of his old problems, and when he did, Filia was not the one he usually confided in. He was trusting her with his feelings. She should trust him with hers.
"That's why I need to do this, Val. I still care about him deep down inside, despite everything that happened. I can't keep holding onto the hope that he'll change and become the person I thought he was, but I don't know if he can unless I can work it out with him. I need to know the truth."
"What makes you think he'll tell you the truth? He's lied to you before."
"He twisted the truth until the only possible truth was a lie. I don't think he'll do that to me this time because things are… different now."
Val nodded, and after a moment, he uncrossed his arms and stuffed his hands in his pockets, a clear sign that he was feeling bad about his earlier outburst. Then a smirk appeared on his lips. "So what's all this about Amelia's surprise party?"
Caught. But this time, Filia didn't feel bad about it at all.
The music was loud, and all Filia could hear was the rhythmic beat, thumping in time with the multicolored lights. It had taken her a while to feel comfortable in her outfit, but she was just thankful that she wasn't in some flesh-baring outfit like Eva's. Pink shortalls covered much more than the other girls' outfits, so she couldn't complain. She had to admit: she really loved the boots and the fedora.
When Xelloss sidled up and tapped her on the shoulder, momentary embarrassment caused her to tug at the hem of her outfit. He merely smiled and pulled her away to dance.
He had asked the typical questions when she called him back: who, where, when. She supplied them innocently, trying to explain the importance of what it was that took such precedence over him. After several minutes, however, she realized what he was planning. After a few more minutes, she convinced him to keep it quiet and not as obvious as it could be. Val had been impossible to convince to stay home, so she had put him to work right away. It was his job to make sure the food was set up correctly at the club. Xelloss would just 'happen' by the Citadel that night. With any luck, her slip-up could be played off.
But from the looks of things, she wasn't the only one who slipped up. Glancing around the dance-floor, she saw Gourry, Van, Brian and Zelgadiss as well. Who would have thought that she was not alone?
"Penny for your thoughts?" Xelloss asked in her ear. A shiver went up her spine, and though she understood that it was the only way he could communicate with her in this deafening place, she still pushed his face away.
"Don't do that!" she yelled, swatting him on the shoulder.
"A hundred dollars, then?"
She laughed, despite herself. "Maybe later, when I don't have to yell it for everyone to hear. And I'll take it as five twenty's then."
"You pierce my heart, dear Filia."
"You stab my patience, dear Xelloss."
"Touché," he smirked, just before dipping her. Her hand flew to her head to keep her precious hat atop her head, and she stared up at his open eyes beneath a curtain of purple hair. It was an annoying, yet mesmerizing gaze, and she found herself beginning to fall. I remember when he used to look at me that way…
He pulled her back up in a flourish, and amidst scattered cheers and applause, they continued to dance. The spell was broken.
"You always knew how to woo an audience," she said, stepping back a bit to keep a safe distance between them.
"An audience or a jury, yes. It's certain individuals I usually have trouble with."
His hand on the small of her back inched its way lower, and she reached back to return it to where it was. "Maybe because you try too hard," she smirked.
"Too much of a good thing?"
"No. More like you don't know when to cut your losses."
"What if it's worth the trouble?"
Despite her rising confidence in this verbal battle of wits, Filia still found herself blushing. "So, I'm trouble, then, am I?" she tried to ask flippantly as she stopped his roving hand once again.
He smiled widely, his eyes closed in a self-satisfied way. "If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…" he began.
"… then it's probably an alligator," she finished with a grin of her own as the song ended and segued into another. Wanting another drink, she began to lead Xelloss up to the party suite before he could find a witty retort. Naga stepped in front of them with her arms crossed, and Filia could almost swear she could see the flames leaping from her head.
Uh oh.
Amelia's sister, in Filia's opinion, was a bit of a ditzy party girl, but when she got riled up, she shared the infamous Seyruun trait of overzealousness. She could have simply asked Filia about Xelloss' presence, calmly spoken with her about it, and discussed a solution to any implied difficulties or problems. But Naga being Naga, she grabbed both her and Xelloss' wrists and hauled them upstairs without so much as a 'by-your-leave.'
When they arrived at the private suite, they realized that they were the last ones there. Had they been dancing that long?
Naga swept in and shoved the couple towards the nearest couch, and only Xelloss' quick reflexes allowed them to land comfortably on the black leather. It took Filia a moment to realize that she was actually sitting on his lap in a rather cozy way. She nearly punched him, but he gently slid her off of him and to his side.
"… weren't supposed to bring your boyfriends," Naga spat at the collected group.
Xelloss and Filia immediately jumped apart and denied any relationship.
"He's not my boyfriend!"
"She's not my girlfriend!"
Not even noticing that Lina and Gourry had echoed the same, Filia and Xelloss eyed each other warily. Of course, he didn't do anything wrong. Filia began to get indignant on Xelloss' behalf. Arguing with Naga didn't get her anywhere, so she gave up and decided to accept her fate… which was that they could dress the men up in women's clothing. Not a bad tradeoff.
Surprisingly, Xelloss proved to be a willing accomplice, and Filia couldn't help but wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that she had insisted after his initial negative outburst and attempt to escape. Whatever the reason, he allowed himself to be shuffled around and poked and prodded into a gorgeous red Chinese dress. Makeup to match, and Filia was one of the first ones finished with her creation.
The rest of the night was a whirlwind of dancing and laughter, and for the first time in ages, Filia felt light and trouble-free. Not that she had real difficulties in her life. She had school and work, but not much else. Perhaps that was what was weighing on her chest. She didn't have a life. But here, at a club, dancing with a familiar, if unwelcome, face, she was beginning to feel alive again. Despite the history between them, it was a nice feeling.
"Are you sure Naga said that it would be okay if you brought me home?" Filia asked him much later on that night. Zelgadiss caught some bad guy, Amelia looked depressed, and Lina assured Filia that she would speak with their friend about it. She wasn't quite sure what that was all about, but she now felt that she should remain with her friends to figure it out.
"Of course, Filia. They're driving Val home, so don't worry about him either."
He had changed his clothes and wiped off the makeup she had so carefully applied. Again dressed in his shiny black and tan outfit, he took her hand and drew her away from the crowds and towards the exit. She was surprised he was being so nice, to have even checked to make sure Val was going to be taken care of.
It only occurred to her much later on, that he had been manipulating events again.
It had been an enlightening night, full of fun and food and drink, so Filia was mulling over the evening's events in her mind. She stared out of the window and zoned out with a smile on her face. Yes, tonight was quite enjoyable. The ride was brief, and when they finally pulled in to the parking lot, Filia was jolted out of her musings.
"We're here," Xelloss announced when he parked and turned off the engine.
She looked around. "Where are we?"
"My place."
"I thought you were going to bring me home," she said, trying to keep her voice from cracking.
"And I will. But I don't want to keep putting this off, Filia. We need to talk. It was your idea in the first place."
His eyes opened, and he regarded her with no emotion whatsoever. Why couldn't she read him?
"Fine. Let's talk, and sort this whole thing out so I can move on with my life," she declared huffily, opening the door and stepping out, holding the bag of her clothes to her chest. She looked at her watch. 4:30 AM. It was going to be a long night… morning.
They were silent on the elevator ride up and the walk down the hallway. For her part, her heart was racing, full of dread, worry, excitement, and… she didn't want to put a name to it. Oh, she knew what it was, but there was no way she was going to admit it to herself and never to Xelloss. But the thoughts and the feelings that went along with it kept flashing in her mind:
Xelloss holding her close.
Xelloss kissing her.
Xelloss making love to her…
She shook her head. Never again.
"Nice place," she finally droned out, just to fill the awkward silence. When they had been… together, he was living in a less auspicious apartment. A far cry from this cold artsy condo.
"Thanks. It eats my paychecks."
She looked around and suddenly felt very out of place. In fact, in a place like this, wearing the clothes she was wearing, she felt like Julia Roberts in that movie about the hooker and the ruthless millionaire.
"Where's your bathroom? I want to change my clothes." He led her to a room near the kitchen, and she had to suck back a gasp of surprise. Bright lights illuminated a huge blue bathtub next to a blue-tiled shower, a mirror above the vanity that went all the way up to the ceiling, and a private alcove for the toilet. While she changed her clothes, she idly wondered how big the master bathroom was if this bathroom was as big as her bedroom at home.
Her musings were interrupted when Xelloss knocked on the door. "Filia, did you want to borrow something more comfortable? I've got shorts, or sweats and a t-shirt."
She considered for a moment. Well, she did have to squeeze into her capris earlier, and that was before they ate. Hesitantly, she opened the door a crack and stuck her hand through. Soft clothing was placed in her open palm, and she pulled them inside, closing the door quickly. The soft black shorts and black t-shirt were way more comfortable than either outfit, and she placed her own clothing in the bag.
Glancing at herself in the mirror, she suddenly stopped. Under the bright lights and before the huge mirror, she realized how… content she looked. That crease that seemed to have found a home between her brows was gone, and she had a slight smile that wouldn't go away. It couldn't be him, could it?
Shyly, she stepped out of the bathroom and rolled her eyes when she heard soft jazz music coming from the living room. Leave it to smooth-talker Xelloss to put on smooth music. She found her way to the room and discovered that Xelloss was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt and was already sitting with his head resting on the back of the couch and his eyes closed. He appeared so vulnerable and at peace, so much like he did when they were alone together, that a fluttering in her stomach made her knees weak.
"How can you do this to me?" she whispered as she sat, unable to keep her memories of her feelings at bay any longer. She was falling again.
An eye opened, and he turned his head to look at her. "I'm not asleep, Filia. I was just waiting for you to be finished. Did the clothes fit?" He smiled, but it was that small smile of his, the one that he had just for her.
"I'm not talking about that, Xelloss. I'm talking about this," she whispered, waving a hand around his general space. "You know how to be so annoying and so controlling, yet at the end of the day, it all falls away, and here's the real you. It's like you're two completely different people."
"I'm only myself, Filia," he said, sitting up. "Things were more… complicated back then. I can only apologize for putting you through that."
And just like that, her blood began to boil, and her voice came out in a harsh shriek. "Putting me through that? Do you know what you did? I loved you, but I was too young to know any better. You knew it was wrong."
When he answered, his voice was uncharacteristically tired. "I was in love, too, Filia. But do you understand the risks I took because I couldn't stay away from you? You were the most beautiful, brightest, most intelligent young woman I had ever met. Problem number one: you were my client. If my bosses even had an inkling that I was having a relationship with you, I'd have been disbarred right away. Problem number two: you were only seventeen. A child, I know, but we both knew what we were doing. I didn't push you, remember? I kept asking you if it was what you wanted."
"I remember," she whispered, choking back tears. He was right. He was absolutely right. Why didn't she see it back then? "I thought that you were lying to me. I thought that you were stringing me along, seeing someone else. You kept changing plans at the last minute and then expecting me to drop everything in my life the second you came knocking. And you never understood the fact that my family is very important to me…"
He cut her off, a scowl suddenly appearing on his face. "Yes, your family. You could never stand up to them, could you?"
"Why are you being nasty about it, even now?"
"It's still the same, Filia. If it came down to it, you'd choose your family over me."
"I'm not with you, Xelloss. Why shouldn't I choose my family over you?"
"Because you need to grow up! You need to make your own decisions and that includes decisions that may go against your family if it's in your best interests. When was the last time you stood up to your father? When was the last time you argued with your mother over something you wanted to do? When was the last time you left Val to clean up his own messes?"
Filia's eyes widened with a realization. "We broke up because of Val," she stated, more to herself than for Xelloss' benefit. "After that incident at that party, you wanted me to distance myself from him, refuse to see him…"
"He hurt you," he declared simply. His brows were knit together, and he was staring at his clenched fists. "When I found out what happened, what he did to you, I wanted to…" He shook his head. "I couldn't see you in the hospital because your father didn't see why it was necessary for non-family members to visit you. I think he wanted to save face. After all, how would it look to people to know that his foster son assaulted his own daughter? I couldn't forgive them for keeping me away from you, but I'll never forgive Val for doing it in the first place."
Filia smiled, feeling surprisingly privileged to have been the object of such devotion. Confusion briefly crossed Xelloss' features at her sudden change of emotion. "There's something you need to understand, Xelloss. You can't monopolize someone's heart, though you may wish it. A person needs healthy relationships amidst the unhealthy ones. I need a relationship with my family, my friends, my co-workers, and anyone else who's important to me. You were asking me to put up roadblocks in all my relationships, just so that we could keep us a secret. Though I understand now the reasons why you did what you did, I still think I did the right thing."
That's right. She did what was best for her back then. She placed a hand on his and squeezed it gently.
"If I had to do it over again, I'd still stand by Val. He's straightened up his life, and he's doing so much better now because of it. If I hadn't, then he could have ended up like his friend who killed himself. And I'm also glad that my parents didn't let you in to see me. If what you're saying is true, then that would have been a sure sign that you cared about me more than you explained to your bosses. You wouldn't be a lawyer anymore, then, would you? And though I've never stopped loving you, I'm glad that we broke up when we did. I probably wouldn't have become a nurse and have such a drive to make a difference."
Xelloss stared at her, surprised at her ranting. She was smiling and happy again in the knowledge that the hurdle that she had been struggling to cross was behind her now.
"Xelloss, my life turned out the way that it is, and I'm pretty happy with it. Now that we've had this talk, I really think that I can move on. I'm going to learn from my mistakes." A great weight lifted from her chest, and she felt as if no matter what he said, she'd be able to handle it gracefully.
"So," he began as he stared at his folded hands, "now that you've talked out some of the more difficult issues of our old relationship, and now that you feel justified in your actions, you're ready to close the book on us?" he asked quietly. Before she could answer, though, he continued, "I never understood why you did the things you did, either, and now I have a better sense of your reasons. But all of this doesn't change the fact that the past is not the present. You said it yourself: you're going to learn from your mistakes. Well, I am, too."
He moved very slowly towards her, yet she didn't push him away or try to flee. Perhaps it was because she was tired, but deep down inside, she knew the truth, though she would never give voice to it.
Their lips met, and it felt as if every nerve in her body fired off at once. She was hot, cold, in agony, in ecstasy all at once. Filia had forgotten what it was like to kiss Xelloss, and her mind descended into blissful oblivion while her body awoke to the memory of long-forgotten desire.
Painfully, he pulled away, and it was then that she realized that one of his hands was up her shirt, caressing her bare back while the other was holding her nape. She opened her eyes and stared back at him, all the while, savoring the feel of her own hands tangled in his hair.
"I'm not going to make the same mistake," he croaked out, his eyes flicking down to take in her swollen lips before returning to search her eyes. "If you still love me as much as you say you do, then I'm not going to lose you again."
He carefully disentangled himself from her and sat up, pulling her to his chest. Unable to help it, she snuggled into him, wrapping her arms about his waist and listening to his racing heart. It was very soothing to be warm in his embrace, and despite her yearnings to continue their kissing, Filia soon found herself drifting off to sleep.
But before she finally succumbed to exhaustion, she heard the low rumble of Xelloss' voice in her head while a soothing hand caressed her shoulder. "I'm going to do it right, this time, Filia. Because I've never stopped loving you, either…."
Filia opened her eyes slowly and took in her surroundings. Oh, geez. Where the heck… Oh no. Xelloss' bed.
Sitting up, she looked around her and sighed in relief. She was alone and fully clothed. The bed was undisturbed next to her, and the memories of a few hours before returned to her. Her initial feeling was that of regret. Why had she kissed him? She wanted to move on with her life! But after rolling it over in her mind, she was actually content with the way things went. She was able to get it out of her system. For a while, at least.
Looking at the clock, she saw that it was 8:00; she only had three hours of sleep. Filia pulled herself out of bed and wandered over to an open door. The master bathroom was incredible: a huge whirlpool tub, a stand-up shower with a built-in seat, a wall to wall vanity with double sinks…
After freshening up, she wandered into the living room and found Xelloss asleep on the couch. He appeared so untouched by worry or anger or hidden agendas. Her resolve and her heart melted. Oh, she told herself that she would never give the feeling a name, but she was lying. She loved him as much now as she had before, perhaps even moreso now that she knew that his intentions had been just.
She knelt beside him and draped an arm across his chest, trailing her fingers down his cheek. He opened his eyes in surprise and looked over at her, a smile appearing before his gaze rested on her.
"Good morning," he said, reaching over to stroke her cheek. She couldn't help but smile.
"Good morning. So…" she began, wondering how to put it. What exactly was it that she wanted?
After a moment, he continued for her, "So, you want to know where we go from here?"
She blushed. He could always tell what she was thinking. "Yes. I know how I feel about you, Xelloss, but is it enough? We know why we did what we did, but does that change how we'll handle things now?"
"You're afraid we'll make the same mistakes."
She nodded her head. "I don't even know if this is right for me. I haven't even been with anyone else besides you. How can I know?"
He frowned slightly, but it was fleeting. His hand lowered and returned to his side.
"I guess you can't. We're not together, Filia, but that won't keep me from trying. If anyone's got his eye on you, he'd better get in line." That self-assured smirk was back on his face, and Filia laughed, feeling as if she were meeting Xelloss again for the first time.
"Just promise me something, Xelloss," she said, tapping him on his chest. "Promise that we'll always speak honestly with each other and be open-minded. No more twisted truths, no more hiding or ulterior motives. I want you to be the person I know that you are, behind the trickster's mask. I wouldn't be able to take it if things were the way they were before."
"Only if you promise to be yourself, and not the person everyone else wants you to be. I can take the abuse as long as you stand up for yourself." He laughed when she smacked him on the side of his head, and then tackled her amidst squeals of giggling. "I have to warn you, though," he said, when he finally stopped tickling her, "I'm not going to stand by forever, Filia. I love you enough to give you your space, but it goes both ways. Dating on and off is all well and good, but I'm getting older. One of these days, I may want to get married."
Her eyes widened, and he smirked, tapping her on the tip of her nose. "Not now, and not soon, but one day. Until then," he kissed her again, "I'll keep trying."
And so will I, she thought to herself as she wrapped her arms around him again.
A/N: Hullo, all! I hope you've enjoyed the latest installment of WML. It was a long time coming, but I wanted to get it right. So, now that the two of them have worked out their differences, does that mean they'll get together and be a happy, lovey-dovey couple? Probably not any time soon. It's too much fun writing their arguments, for one. And another, rekindling a relationship that ended badly isn't necessarily an easy thing to do. Time and patience. We'll see if it works out.
Now, to pay my respects: the tea house that Filia went to was the Vintage Tea Leaf, a wonderful little place near downtown Long Beach that my friends and I go to every now and again (and, yes, the tea mistress is Miss Beverly). I love their French Vanilla Plum…. Movie homage was paid to: Four Weddings and a Funeral, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Titanic and Pretty Woman.
And, of course, thank you for everyone who's read and a special thanks to those of you who've reviewed!
Ichiban Victory (Now we can see how Val's indiscretions directly impacted an already tenuous relationship and why Xelloss hates him so much. Yeah, it seems that Val isn't the only one who's got a weak spot for a girl. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!), Kaeru Shisho (Poor Val. I've got to ease up on him… one day. I'm just glad that I never had to go through anything like that myself. Man, I had such a time trying to write this chapter, especially when your Fil/Xel chapters came out. I really had to make sure I kept to my original plans and keep my characterizations on track – a difficult thing when you do them so well. You were right: eerie similarities. ;) Thanks again, and I'm off to work on the next chapter of L&L…), Samantha (Hey, new reviewer! Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you again!), Cookie (Yeah, I had an extreme conflict of interest when I began fleshing out Val's character: I began having Ame/Val wanderings… But don't worry, Zel needs her as well, though it will take him a long time to figure everything out. I hope you enjoyed a bit of Xel/Fil here!), Lina Gabriev (Ah, Val and Lina… there's something that I've thought about, and I may include something one day, but it would be much later. Yeah, Val's cleaned up his life, but he, and the people around him, has to live with the consequences of his actions; Xel and Fil being case in point. Makes you wonder how Zelgadiss would handle it if he knew what Val did to Amelia, huh? wink wink, jesphoenix05 (Of course you can start an "I love Val" fan club! Either that or a "Broody-boys fan club." But, alas, no. I cannot dump denial-boy, because he's a broody-boy as well – you'll discover the depths of his despair in a later chapter of L&L. Well, at least one relationship is getting a kick in the pants here. I hope you liked this chapter!), Psycho Kitten (Hey, another new reviewer! I hope you liked this one, too! Look forward to hearing again from you!)
Thanks again, and by the way…
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