Disclaimer: This series is intended as in-between vignettes of my other fanfic, Of Life and Lemonade, so in order to understand it, you probably should read that one first. Since that one is Amelia-centered, this series will focus on the other characters that pop up. Slayers is owned by very talented people who make all the money. Please don't sue.

Occurs around chapter 27 of Life.

Chapter 9

From the Sidelines

"Have you ever loved and hated the same person at the same time?

It is a confusing thing, love. It makes us do the most unbelievable things, both good and bad. Sometimes, you think that you are above such petty reactions, that you are old enough to be confident in yourself and your position in life, but then, something changes, something insignificant yet monumental in its impact, and everything changes.

It is an irritant of some kind, not necessarily something as simple and mundane as a grain of sand that finds its way into an oyster and provokes the mollusk's natural response to coat the irritant with nacre over and over again until the irritant becomes transformed into a beautiful pearl. Of course, the pearl is still an irritant to the oyster; it's to those who appreciate its natural beauty that the pearl is valuable.

That is how I saw her.

Lina Inverse is so completely opposite from me. She is loud and impatient and obnoxious. She eats ten times her own body weight in food, yet never gains an ounce. She always seems to bounce off the walls and never lose any energy. When I met her for the first time, I could not believe what a whirlwind she was… actually, a tornado would be a better word for her. She seems, sometimes, to be a walking force of destruction.

But then, there is another side to her, one that I kept myself blind to for a long time. She is extremely loyal and caring. She is a genius without even trying. Her wit and her fist are two of the quickest things I have ever seen, and just try to cross someone she cares about, even just a little bit.

I met her when I was seventeen, a few weeks before my high school graduation. I was far from being a Valedictorian or anything special. I never did any sports in school. I sang in the choir and was a solid B student with two honors classes. Quiet and demure were the words people used to describe me.

Of course, it was true. I always did as my parents asked, and when my mother died, I took it upon myself to do everything that she had done – to make up for some self- condemning feelings, I suppose. My mother was beautiful and perfect, and I always tried to be just like her. But I was awkward and silly as a child, so I thought I could never be like her. I still try to this day, but looking back, I am more aware that I need to be my own person.

But I digress. (I believe I'm trying to delay the inevitable.)

It was early May. I was working on all the last-minute projects for the year as well as waiting as patiently as I could for the acceptance letters to finally come in. I had applied to several colleges, including DBU and University of New Sairaag. My test scores had been average, and my two AP classes would translate into credits in either university, so I figured that all I needed to do was choose which one I wanted to attend.

So, it came as a surprise to me when I received the rejection letter from Atlas City. How could they have rejected me? 3.1 GPA. 1130 SAT's. Two AP classes. Of course, it was nothing spectacular, but certainly good enough for that college. Atlas City was not my first choice, but it was still a rejection.

I did not take it very well.

That night, I went down to the pier to try to clear the cobwebs from my mind and get myself in better spirits. I didn't want to call Filia, even though she and I always used to talk about what we would want to do in the future. We used to joke about being an EMT and a nurse and owning our own rescue service. She was going to graduate the next year and attend the same school that I did. But now, I didn't know if that would be possible. If Atlas City rejected me, and DBU or UNS had stricter requirements, I probably wouldn't stand a chance. So my mind began to weigh my other options.

It was while I was sitting alone on a bench on the pier at night when fate decided to give me a push in the most interesting direction. Now that I think about it, it was pretty stupid of me to have been zoning out like that.

'Hey, babe. What's a pretty girl like you doing all alone out here?'

Darn it.

'Oh, hello,' I said stupidly. I stood up so that I would have more leverage if he tried to do anything. Tai Chi is not a very offensive martial art, but it allows for such fluidity of motion that it could be used for offense as well as defense. 'I'm just waiting for a friend,' I lied.

Glancing around, I noticed that the pier was mostly deserted: only a few guys fishing several yards away, and one person near the middle of the pier slowly making their way towards us.

'I can be a friend.'

Gross.

'I should see if I can find them.' I took a step, and sure enough, the creep had the nerve to put his hand on me.

Using his momentum to unbalance him, I turned with him and flipped him to the concrete. Of course, my sympathetic nature was my undoing. I had never used Tai Chi in real life; it had always been in the dojo with my instructor or my fellow students. To have used it on an unsuspecting civilian was perhaps as shocking to me as it was to him.

'Oh, I'm sorry, sir! But, you see, you grabbed me, and it was just a natural reaction for me. Please forgive me!'

'Forgive?' He looked up at me, and I realized that my initial instinct had been the correct one. 'You… you little bi…'

'Hey, what's going on here?' someone asked nearby. We both looked towards the voice, and that's when I first saw her.

She appeared very young, perhaps fifteen or sixteen at the most, skinny, but with huge ruby-colored eyes and a wild mane of vibrant red hair that floated around her with the ocean breeze. Later, we would joke about her penchant for jumping into situations and being a "Crusader Rabbit" – someone who would fight someone's else's fights for them – but thinking back on it, I would not have it any other way.

'Mind your own business, Red,' the guy said, dusting himself off. 'This is between me and her.' He grabbed my upper arm.

The thought had crossed my mind to ask her for help, but noticing our height difference, I had assumed (wrongly, of course) that she would get hurt if she got involved in my problems. I was about to agree with him when her eyes met mine. I thought I had my emotions well under control, but that thought was quickly banished when she frowned.

'Looks like she thinks otherwise, pal. Let her go,' she demanded.

How cool…

Perhaps I was emboldened by her words. When the man tightened his grip on my arm, I rolled him to the ground again. The girl smiled at me when she stepped forward.

'That was pretty good. Tai Chi?' she asked. I was impressed that she knew so much.

'Yes, but anyone can do it,' I said, satisfied with myself. The guy was on his knees, trying to catch his breath. I guess he landed harder than I thought.

'I think you should have punched him, though,' she muttered as we stood side by side staring at him. 'Well, come on, let's get out of here.'

Listening to her, I stepped around him and we began to walk down the pier back towards the beach. I was about to introduce myself when the guy gave her a reason for her earlier words. I should have punched him.

His hand had barely touched her arm when she suddenly became a blur of movement. I don't remember seeing anyone up until that point who was that fast. She had locked his hand in a painful-looking grip and punched him in the face, the chest and the stomach quickly in succession. Then, with her fingers rigid in the form of a claw, she turned and made a lightning fast jab to the man's groin, and then back to her side. He fell to the ground once more, this time clutching his face and his groin.

Wow…

'Hey, what're you bitches doin' to Frankie?'

I was prepared for them when they touched me. This time, the girl and I were both fighting them off, and somewhere in the distance I heard people on the beach yelling for help. The four guys who had been fishing were suddenly surrounding us, trying to get the upper hand. The girl was, by far, the better fighter, but I was still able to hold my own. She seemed impressed by the fact that none of them had been able to get a hold of me, but I was impressed by the fact that she had pretty much taken them all out single-handedly.

'Ha! That'll teach you to mess with Lina Inverse!' she declared with her foot on one of the guy's back. Her arms were crossed and she was laughing into the night sky. I thought she was brilliant. I couldn't help but giggle.

The horror of the next ten minutes will live with me forever.

It all happened so quickly. 'Frankie' appeared beside me, lunging towards me with a knife. I felt something hit me, and I landed hard on the concrete. Looking up, I realized that the girl called Lina Inverse had knocked me out of the way. She was holding her side, and the knife was dripping red.

She had been stabbed.

I heard myself yelling for help, but she had such a crazed look in her eyes that I was actually fearful for the man's safety.

He tried to stab her again, but in an amazing display of fluidity and grace, she caught his arm, pulled him towards her knee, and snaked her hand down his. In a flash, the knife was in her hand, and she raised it above him, ready to… to…

'Stop it!' I yelled, throwing myself at her. I didn't know her, I didn't know anything about her past, but I knew that I didn't want her to hurt anyone. 'Please don't hurt him! Please? You'll get into trouble for someone who doesn't deserve it. Please, Miss Lina!'

The knife fell to the ground, and she seemed to snap out of it. She looked at me with a little, almost embarrassed smile, and actually apologized, giving me an awkward pat on the back.

I guess it was because I was holding onto her that she was not able to react as quickly as she should have. I should have known that Frankie would not have left it at that. She pushed me away again, but the knife had already found her back. He punched her, and then did something that I would have never believed anyone would do.

He pushed her over the railing and into the waves below.

I heard a scream; it could have been mine. My body was suddenly moving. The thought had entered my mind, and before I could think about it long enough to talk myself out of it, I had acted. I took two steps, put a foot up on the rail and dove into the ocean after her.

Let me tell you, diving off a pier at night is a scary experience. I took lifeguard training classes the previous summer, but trying to negotiate the waves around the pylons and trying to find a body amidst all the floating kelp was a challenge that I never want to experience again. It took me what felt like an eternity, but in reality was perhaps only two minutes, to find her.

She was barely conscious, but her swimming instincts had taken over. Though it probably hurt her a lot, she had turned onto her back and floated along with the tides. When I found her, she had hit one of the pylons and went under. I grabbed her just in time and swam as quickly as I could to shore.

The paramedics were pulling up by the time I hauled her out onto the beach. Lights and sirens were everywhere; police and emergency medical technicians asking me all sorts of questions. I can't remember what I said, but I know I answered them, all the while holding onto this girl's hand as they worked on her. I demanded to go with them to the hospital, but then my father was there by my side, gently removing my fingers from hers. He spoke with the police, and as the ambulance drove away, I saw the men who attacked us being led away to several squad cars.

'Father, please,' I begged him later as he wrapped another blanket around me. I was still shaking after three hours. I had given a statement, my father had driven me home, I had taken a shower, and was now sitting in the middle of the living room dressed in sweats and wrapped in four blankets. 'I'm fine. I want to go to the hospital where they took Miss Lina. I want to see her and make sure that she's alright.'

'Sylphiel,' he said in his ever-patient voice. 'You can see her in the morning. You don't have school, so I'll take you there, okay?'

I couldn't really argue with that, so I agreed.

I visited her the very next day. I wasn't sure if they would allow me to see her, since I was not a relative, but an imposing young woman grabbed my arm when she heard me say my name to the nurses and dragged me down the hallway.

'So you're the one who got my sister into this mess,' she said to me. I nodded my head. She was so scary that I don't think I could have said anything if I wanted to. 'I'd normally be pissed off and probably tell you to shove off, but Lina told me what really happened. I'm actually quite proud of her. She stuck her neck out for someone she didn't even know. The runt's finally beginning to get it, I think.'

The last, I think, she was saying to herself more than to me.

'I'm Luna Inverse, by the way. Lina's older sister.' She smiled at me, and though I could not see her eyes behind her long bangs, I had a feeling she was looking me over.

I finally found my voice. 'My… my name is Sylphiel Nels Lahda.'

'I caught that,' she laughed, but whether or not it was at me, I wasn't quite sure.

'I'm sorry. I'm really not thinking clearly right now. Is Miss Lina okay, then?'

'Yeah, she's doing fine. The doctors want to keep her here for a couple of days, and that's pissing her off, but she should be fine. Here, go talk to her. She's starting to get on my nerves with all that whining.'

'I do not whine!' came a shout from the room, and Miss Luna grinned at me.

'Aw, shut up. Be nice. You've got a visitor.'

I poked my head around the corner and waved at her. I really wasn't sure what to expect. I thought for sure that she would be angry with me for getting her into such a mess, but instead, she smiled and waved me in.

'Hey, what are you doing here?' she asked. I walked in and sat down in the chair next to the bed.

'I wanted to make sure that you were okay. I was so scared for you last night.'

'Oh, you know. I always go diving off of piers at night after getting stabbed. It's no big deal. Hey, what's wrong? I'm only joking, you know…'

I suppose that was when I began to cry.

'I am so sorry, Miss Lina. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have taken my eyes off of that man… No! I shouldn't have been in that situation in the first place… Ouch!'

Lina had flicked me! Right in the middle of my forehead!

'Stop it. That's no way of thinking. You were there for a reason, right? So was I, so it wouldn't have mattered either way. What happened, happened, so don't worry about it. I'm okay, and I actually got to meet someone new. What's your name, anyway?'

'Sylphiel. Sylphiel Nels Lahda.'

'Glad to have met you, Sylphiel. Hey, don't mind me being nosey, but what were you doing there anyway?'

'Oh.' In light of what had happened, it seemed a stupid reason after all. 'I got a rejection letter from college. I just had to clear my head, that's all.'

'Hn… That's too bad. Which one?'

'Atlas City…'

'What were you trying to major in?'

'Medicine. I want to try to be an EMT.'

'Cool! But, I thought that Atlas City was good for Math and Statistics and all that kinda crap.'

'Well, it is, but I figured I needed a safety net. That was my third choice.'

'So you didn't get a letter from your first two?'

'No. They usually send them out later. DBU and UNS. They have stricter guidelines for admittance, though.'

'Well, all you can do is wait, right? Do you have a back-up plan?'

Now I was getting career advice from a girl younger than me who I hardly knew?

'Um… no. Not really.'

'Not even an idea?'

'Well, I guess I really wanted to be a teacher…'

'What's wrong with that?'

'Teachers don't make much money, so that's why I was going to try to be an emergency medical technician.'

'Hmm… Well, if you don't get into any of those schools, do you have any idea about what you can do then? Like a kind of worse-case scenario?'

'Well…'

As a matter of fact, I did have this insane idea. It was something that I had thought about, not in terms of a career path, but because he was something I thought about.

I thought about him a lot.

Gourry Gabriev was the first boy to have ever paid me any attention. We were children then, eight and eleven years old in the same grade school. Though a normal eight-year-old's worries are hardly far-reaching, they are still the world to a child. Looking back, I can see that mine were no different. I thought that being bullied was something that I just had to accept as part of life. I had even learned how to hide really well at lunch-time so that the kids wouldn't find me and take my food.

My lunches were simple, but since I made them myself, I was very proud of them. I never ate with anyone, and I never ate in the same place twice. At least I tried to.

One day, I forgot that I had eaten lunch behind the hedge next to the playground the day before, and when I rounded the corner with my lunch box, they were there waiting for me. The shortest boy, of course, was the first one to push me back. I tripped and landed right on my butt, but I held onto my lunch. Then the taller one tried taking my lunch, but I held tight onto it. I shut my eyes and was about to scream for help (which never came in time whenever I did before) when the two boys suddenly let go and took off running.

When I looked up, that's when I saw him.

His hair was long, even back then. He was my knight in shining armor, my protector!

He asked if I was okay, and when I nodded, he helped me up. Dusting myself off, I did the only thing I could think of to thank him.

I offered him half of my lunch.

And that's how it happened. From then on, I made sure to make double portions of lunch, and Gourry would find me, and we would eat lunch together. The other kids would call us names, and tell him that he's got himself a little girlfriend, but he just smiled and said that if that meant that he can eat my cooking every day, then he didn't care.

Things stayed that way for three wonderful years, but I didn't ever really get to know him any better than on the day we met. He only met me for lunch, and even then, we never really talked about anything important. It was only after I met and became friends with Filia that I noticed that anything was wrong. She was the one who asked me why I didn't know more about him, and why he didn't hang out with me outside of lunchtimes.

It hurt my feelings to think that he didn't like me the way that I liked him. After all, didn't he say that he didn't care if they said that he had a girlfriend? Wasn't that what I was?

I was so naïve.

Before he graduated and went on to high school, I had to tell him how I felt. I had to let him know. But when I told him, 'I like you,' all he said was, 'Oh. Well, I liked all those great lunches, Sylphiel.'

And then he was gone.

I ended up going to Montgomery while he went to North, but I never got picked on again. By that time, I guess I had become what people called 'pretty', though I never thought so. After all, the one guy who I had a crush on, only liked me because of my cooking. But that was enough, wasn't it?

'Hello! Earth calling! Hey, Sylphiel!'

'Sorry, Miss Lina. My mind wandered a little.'

'Were you thinking about what you'd like to do?'

I could feel my cheeks heating up. 'Well, there's this guy that I really like…'

'A boyfriend?'

'Oh, not really, but I've loved him forever.' I sighed. 'He's gone into the police force, so I was just thinking…'

Lina's face lit up and she clenched her fist. 'Wow! That's cool. If I loved someone as much as that, I'd definitely follow him. No, nothing stalker-like, but if he was doing something that I'd even be remotely interested in, I'd do it. If I got rejected from college, I'd join up right away!'

She said what I wanted to do, but would never get the guts to do.

We spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know each other, and we found out that we shared some friends in common. Filia and Val were friends of hers, so I knew that she was special, especially when she knew how difficult Val was and was still his friend.

When she was released, I kept in touch with her, and we spent the afternoons after school at the mall or at the park. She got better quickly, and the guilt I had felt slowly disappeared in light of our new friendship. She was everything that I wasn't, but I didn't envy her. Instead, I tried to be like her. I cherished our new friendship, and she was there with me when I opened my acceptance letter to UNS, my very first choice. She hugged me, and though we had only known each other for a couple of short weeks, I decided that she was indeed one of my very best friends.

Graduation was a great thing for me. Finally, I was able to go to college and concentrate on learning something that I could actually use in life. Though the enticement to join the force was there, I was excited to go to New Sairaag. That was where my father went to medical school and met my mother. It held so much for me that I couldn't wait to go.

Walking down the aisle to receive my diploma felt like a door closing on a chapter of my life. This was the last time I would be at this school as a student. I was so happy. As I was returning to my seat, I looked through the bleachers and found Filia. She was there to cheer me on, sitting in the bleachers with her foster brother. My father was holding the balloon bouquet that they had brought me, and Val was looking up at them with disgust, but I thought they were wonderful. Mylar balloons full of greetings of 'Congraduations!' and 'Great Job!' and 'Good Luck'…

And then I saw them.

I could hardly miss Lina sitting there, with her easy-to-spot hair, but what made my heart turn over was the sight of Gourry, sitting there with her.

I almost fainted right then and there, but the girl behind me nudged me forward into my seat. I sat there for a long time, not listening to the list of names being read, or the applause that echoed through the hall. All I could think about was why she was sitting there with Gourry. I had invited her, of course, but I didn't invite him. His parents had passed on, and he was living on his own now, but I didn't know where he lived. I hadn't seen or spoken with him in four years, so how could I have even invited him?

But I could recognize his face anywhere.

'Congrats, Sylphiel!' everyone was saying. Lina gave me a great big hug, and I couldn't push her away. She didn't know about Gourry, so how could she know how jealous I was to see him with her?

'Thanks,' I said weakly.

Lina pulled my arm. 'Hey, guess what? This guy I know said that he knows you, too. Come on, let me introduce you.'

And I came face-to-face with the only guy I've ever loved.

'H… hi,' I whispered.

He looked at me and smiled. I thought I was going to die.

'Hi… Sylphiel, right?'

Oh. I could die right then.

'Yeah.'

'Hey, good to see you again! They aren't still picking on you, are they?'

I laughed. 'No, Gourry-dear,' I said automatically. I used to call him that at school, but now, years later, it sounded rather… presumptuous.

'Dear?' I heard Lina mutter. I couldn't say exactly why, but that only made me want to say it even more.

'How've you been?' I asked him.

'Oh, pretty good. When Lina said that she was coming to your graduation, I remembered your cooking and our lunches, so I had to come, too.'

To see me, or to eat more of my cooking? For some reason, it didn't really matter to me. He was here. That was all that mattered. He gave me a half hug… well, I guess he really just threw his arm around my shoulder and squeezed my arm. Buddy-like. It's the only time he had ever shown me affection at all. Someone took a picture of us standing there with his arm around my shoulders. It's the picture I still have on my nightstand, even now.

We all went out to eat a late lunch at a wonderful Chinese restaurant, and I was the guest of honor. Still reeling from coming face to face with my childhood crush, I hardly touched my food. I watched them out of the corner of my eye, and I became so jealous of how close they already seemed.

How did they meet? Why did he dote on her? How could two people eat so much food at one sitting?

I wanted to dislike her. I wanted to hate her. But when I opened my present from Lina, I couldn't help but love her. She had given me a lab coat with my name embroidered on it, a pair of handcuffs, and a box of chalk and a felt eraser. Her card read:

Dear Sylphiel,
No matter what you chose in life, I hope you know that I'll back you up, 100 percent! Keep your dreams alive in your heart, and one day, you'll find that your dreams will become a reality.
Love,
Your friend, Lina

Trying not to cry, I hugged Lina tightly before moving on to the next present. Her relationship with Gourry didn't matter; it wasn't like they were boyfriend-girlfriend or anything like that. They even said so when Filia asked Lina about them. So, I guess I could overlook their closeness for now.

But that seed of doubt was planted, and even as I went up to UNS for my interview and my meeting with my student mentor, I wondered about their relationship and how it would flourish without me there in Saillune. So I did something rash and foolish, some would say.

'Attend UNS on an absentee basis?' Hideaki, my student mentor asked me.

'Well, I read something about attending my classes once every month for tests, but I would be doing the homework and papers via correspondence. I wanted to do something like that.'

He rubbed the back of his head as he thought about it. 'Well, I guess we can sign you up for those kinds of classes, but if you don't mind me asking, why don't you want to come to school?'

'I am going to enter the Saillune police academy, but I still want to be able to attend UNS.'

That must have shocked him because his mouth dropped open. 'You're going to be a police officer?'

I sighed. 'I don't really feel like getting into all that right now. Would you be able to help me out?'

He did, and by the end of the day, we had my schedule of classes worked out, as well as the testing schedule for the upcoming semester. I thanked him, but as I got up to leave, he stopped me.

'Hey, it's getting late, and you were my last appointment. Did you want to have dinner with me?' I must have stared at him, because he waved his hand in front of my face. 'Hello? Sylphiel?'

'Oh! Um… sure, I guess. I just have to make sure I'm at my aunt's house before dark.'

'That shouldn't be a problem. Here, let me carry your things.' He took my backpack and slung it over his shoulder and led me across campus to a little Thai restaurant in the neighborhoods surrounding the campus. When we entered, the place was packed with people, and several of them yelled greetings to him.

'Wow. You seem to know a lot of people,' I said as I sat in the chair at the tiny table. The waiter brought us two small metal bowls of water that I wasn't sure what they were for. He picked his up and drank from it.

Oh. So they were our water cups.

'Yeah. I guess it's pretty weird since this is only my second year at UNS.'

'Really? I thought you were much older than me.'

He laughed. 'No, but I am pretty popular,' he said, and he shook his hair back out of his face. That was… strange.

We ate, and discussed my upcoming classes. He said that I reminded him of one of his over-achiever friends, and I had to convince him that I was far from it. I wasn't an over-achiever. I was a weak person who couldn't trust my friend with the love of my life.

When I returned home the next day, my father was upset to discover that I was going to be taking correspondence classes instead of actually attending his alma mater. It was difficult getting him to believe that joining the academy was what I really wanted to do. In fact, the only person who backed me up in my decision was Lina.

The next year was the most difficult I had ever had in my entire academic life.

If it wasn't bad enough that the classes I took at UNS ate up every bit of my free time, the physical aspects of the police academy were extremely demanding. I pushed myself as hard as I could, concentrated to learn everything in class, and allotted time to study my college classes as well. I don't remember even seeing Filia that year, but Lina always found the time to drop by every now and then, to pull me away from my miserable existence for an hour to relax and have fun. I think I would have gone insane if it hadn't been for her.

'You shouldn't beat yourself up so much, Sylphiel,' she told me one day, a month before my last set of finals for UNS. 'You're doing so much more than anyone could possibly imagine. So what if you got a "C" in Chemistry? You still passed, right?'

I nodded as I shoveled a spoonful of my banana split into my mouth.

'And you're getting good marks at the academy, right?'

I nodded again; shoveled more ice cream again.

'So why are you crying?' she asked gently.

I couldn't help it, I suppose. It was too much for me to handle. 'Did you ever make a mistake, Miss Lina, one that you had to stick by because you've put too much into it?'

'I don't know. I guess so. But the question here is which one was the mistake: the academy or UNS?'

I thought about it. I wondered if I could possibly tell her.

I chickened out.

'Both at the same time, I guess. I should have picked one or the other.'

'Well, you can always quit one.' She shrugged her shoulders and finished off her sundae.

'I suppose…'

But I didn't. I stuck with it, and by the end of the year, I finished the academy in the middle of my class, with nothing remarkable to make me stand out. I finished my first year of college as well, with nothing remarkable to make me stand out. So, which road should I follow? Which path should I take?

I saw a familiar face a couple of hours before the commencement ceremony at the academy. If I could remember correctly, he was Gourry's partner.

'Excuse me, Mister Zelgadiss?'

He turned around and looked for who called him. I gave him a little wave and he stopped.

'Can I help you?' he asked curtly. He was very handsome, and I found myself momentarily speechless.

'Oh… Um, you're Gourry Gabriev's partner, right?'

He looked me up and down, and I had the feeling that whatever was going on in his mind was not positive.

'I used to be his partner. What did you want?'

'Oh. Well, I… I guess nothing. Sorry to bother you.' I had started to leave when he stopped me.

'Wait. I'm sorry.' He sounded exasperated, but his expression softened. 'You're a friend of his?'

'Yes. I'm Sylphiel.'

'Sylphiel.' He shook my hand. 'You're a cadet here?'

'Yes. How did you… Oh.' I guess it would have been obvious to anyone who saw me wearing the cadet uniform. I gave him an embarrassed smile. 'Yes. I'm graduating soon.'

'Congratulations. Was there something you wanted to ask me, Sylphiel?'

I wanted to ask him so much about Gourry. I hadn't seen him at all the whole year, but I didn't want to burden someone I didn't really know with my problems. I guess I wanted to know that everything I had been through would be worth it, that I might possibly be able to work with Gourry one day…

Instead, I said, 'No. Nothing. Can you just tell him that I said, "hello"?'

I turned around and was about to leave when he put his hand on my arm to stop me.

'You can tell him yourself,' he said with a grin. 'I'm on my way to meet him right now.'

'Oh. Okay.'

I followed Zelgadiss into the building, and up a flight of stairs. He knocked on an office and opened the door. There, before me, sitting on one of the chairs in the waiting area, was Gourry.

'Look who I found on the way here, Gourry,' Zelgadiss said, ushering me inside.

'Hey, Sylphiel!' Gourry said, and he smiled when he saw me. I melted under that smile.

'Hi, Gourry-dear.'

I don't remember what we spoke about exactly. I think it had something to do with seeing him on my graduation days: both for high school and for the academy. I was in heaven; my head was in the clouds. But before long, whoever they had wanted to see was ready for them, and both he and Zelgadiss said their goodbyes to me. I walked back outside where I met my class and finished getting ready for the ceremony. That, too, was a blur, and I don't even remember my name being called.

So I had completed the academy. Should I enter the police force right away? Should I continue my studies at UNS? I was floating along, with too many possibilities this time instead of none.

It wasn't until Zelgadiss appeared at my side after the ceremony that I considered something completely different.

'Sylphiel, right?'

'Yes.'

'Congratulations. I'm sorry about being short with you before.'

'Oh, that's okay.'

'Gourry said that he was surprised to see that you wanted to become a cop. He said that it didn't seem like something you would do.'

I giggled nervously. Those were my thoughts as well, but I didn't want anyone to know it. 'Well, I guess there's only one way to find out.'

He looked seriously at me. 'It's one thing to do something just because it's what he did. It's another to do it because it's something you really want to do. It's not meant as a criticism, but you really don't want to be a cop, do you?'

I tried to stick out my chin and be defiant, but there was something about his demeanor that made me tell him the truth.

'No. Not really,' I admitted. 'But, please, don't tell anyone.'

He chuckled. 'No. I won't tell anyone. But you should think really hard about what it is that you, Sylphiel, want to do. Something that doesn't have anything to do with Gourry or your parents or your relatives or your friends. What do you want to do?'

I looked at him, and it seemed that there was something about him that I could identify with. I wondered if there was something that he really wanted to do that he wasn't allowed to do, but I kept my questions to myself. If I got to know him better, maybe one day, I'd ask him.

I spent the summer trying to figure out exactly what it was I wanted to do. I didn't join the force, much to my father's relief. He hardly harped on the fact that I had spent so much valuable time and money on that venture, but I still felt the guilt. I had finished all of my general education requirements my first year of college and could now concentrate on anything my major required. After thinking long and hard on it, I finally decided that what I really wanted to do was teach…

Hideaki was invaluable again, as I finally decided to enroll full time at UNS. He had a whole schedule worked out for me, though I had only told him the day before, and he was even in the process of scouting out prospective apartments for me. I laughed at his enthusiasm, but he took it all in, saying that I would thank him for it later.

So, I was set to go into teaching, when my life suddenly took a sharp turn, upending all my plans as well as my heart.

My father was shot.

It was the day before I was set to go back to New Sairaag after finalizing my schedule. I had been packing for the weekend when the phone rang. Picking it up, expecting it to be Hideaki pestering me for a date when I arrived, but it wasn't. It was the Saillune PD, informing me that my father had been caught in the crossfire of a gang shooting.

This was not happening.

My hands went numb. I dropped the phone. I grabbed my purse and my keys and flew out the door.

This was not happening.

I had barely put the car into park before I was running into the emergency room, demanding to know where he was, how he was doing, what was being done for him.

This was not happening.

And then the doctor emerged, found me, and explained that they had stabilized him, but that he had lost a lot of blood, and that there was a lot of brain damage.

This was not happening.

So I saw him, lying there, his head bandaged, his chest bandaged, tubes down his throat, down his nose, in his arms, a machine doing the breathing for him.

This was not happening.

And then, as I sat there, holding his hand, his cold, pale hand, telling him that he couldn't leave me, that he couldn't leave because he needed to save people's lives, that people needed Doctor Nels Lahda, the monitor flat-lined and I was escorted out of the room, away from him, away from my family, away from my father.

This was not happening!

I sat there, in the emergency waiting room, crying into my hands, hoping for something I knew would never happen, trying to understand how my life had taken this turn. I felt sick. I couldn't go on like this. My father wasn't supposed to leave me. He wasn't supposed to die…

I don't know when someone put their arms around me tenderly, patting my back, saying soothing things. I didn't realize that when the doctor came to tell me that my father had passed, I had tried to hit him, to kick him, to rail against him because there had to be something that he could do. After all, my father had been able to save people, why couldn't he?

But someone stopped me, wrapped comforting arms around me and held me still, allowed me to cry into a strong shoulder. Only when my tears had subsided, and the voice told me to say goodbye to my father, did I finally take her hand and allow her to lead me to the room. Only then, did I let Lina take me where I needed to be, tell me what I needed to say, make me do what I needed to do.

She helped me fill out any paperwork, drove me home that night, stayed with me, and was my voice when I needed something to say. She called Hideaki and explained what happened, and had him take care of everything for me. Filia came over with her parents, and helped me make the necessary preparations for my father. I was a zombie. Nothing mattered.

But then Lina said something to me that helped me to cope.

'Your father told me once – I think it was at your high school graduation – that he was proud of you regardless of what you chose to do. He wanted you to follow in his footsteps, but he wanted you to make footsteps of your own, so that he could be proud that you could walk on your own. He knew he wouldn't be here forever, it's just… it came a lot sooner than any of us wanted. But he wanted you to shine, Sylphiel. He wanted you to be happy.'

I cried for days, but Lina's words helped to ease the pain. When it came time for me to go back to school, I took a deep breath, and tried to go on with my life. I decided to take the EMT program, and hunkering down, was able to finish in a little over a year. With the rest of my third year, I decided to take those teaching classes that Hideaki had suggested for me. I buried myself in school, and let the rest of the world disappear around me.

When I graduated, I decided not to walk; graduating without my father standing there would have been too much for me to take. I moved back home and tried to regain my life in Saillune.

I was able to see Gourry and Lina more often, but their relationship still confused me. It was clear to everyone around them that they had feelings for each other, but I refused to see it. It hurt too much to see that my one true love was in love with someone else, but I endured. Perhaps one day, Lina would let go of him, or vice versa. Maybe then,I could finally have the lifeI had dreamed of.

But life, once again, had other ideas for me.

Lina called me the other night. She wanted to meet me at the pier where we had met. She sounded upset, and I wondered what was wrong. I never knew anything that could make Lina upset.

When I saw her, she was staring out at the dark ocean, lost in its depth and mystery. She saw me and smiled, and I suddenly felt as if something was very wrong.

'Hi, Miss Lina.'

'Hi, Sylphiel.'

We stood next to each other, leaning on the rail, looking at the rising and falling water. Finally, after a few minutes, I had to know.

'So, what's wrong?' For the first time, she was speechless. 'Miss Lina?'

'Sylphiel,' she began. 'I don't know what to do…'

'About what?'

Lina looked at me, and she looked absolutely miserable. 'I… I haven't done anything… all this time. I thought that if I pretended that it wasn't there… nothing would happen. But… but I…'

I didn't know what she was talking about. 'Maybe if you just say it outright.'

She glanced up at me, and I suddenly got a horrible feeling. 'Sylphiel, Gourry and I… well, we kissed.'

I blinked.

'I didn't plan it. In fact, I've been trying to avoid it for so long, but… but it just happened. I didn't want to do anything, Sylphiel, I swear! I… I know how you feel about him, so I tried so hard not to do anything. I didn't want… I don't want to hurt you.'

And then she did something that I never thought I would ever see.

Lina cried.

'I like him, but I've been trying so hard not to. I just wanted to be friends. I was happy with that. But… but… it's Gourry. I couldn't help it. Sylphiel, I swear, I won't do anything if you don't want me to. I'll even stop… I'll stop spending time with him, if you want…'

The tears were streaming down her face, and she looked so sad that I couldn't help the words that came out next.

'Do you love him?'

Without hesitation, she nodded her head. 'Yes.'

My heart broke.

'Take good care of him,' I said, and that was when tears began to fall down my cheeks. I hugged her, holding onto her tightly. She returned my embrace, and she cried into my shoulder.

'You'll still be my friend, right? she asked, hiccupping.

'Of course.'

'Promise?'

I promised…

Hideaki called me up a few months ago, and only now, I am finally deciding to do something for myself, not for Gourry, not for my father. For me. Hideaki's a teacher's assistant now at UNS, and he wanted to find out if I would be interested in finally finishing up the couple of classes I needed to be certified to teach. He had said that there was a teaching position opening up at the university in a few months, and that I would be the perfect candidate for the job.

I think I might just take him up on that offer.

I feel as if I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, the ocean majestic and calm before me, yet churning and destructive below. I can easily step off the brink and give myself over to the devastation awaiting me. I can just as easily step back and watch the show from the safety of inconsequence.

I thought for a while that I would hate Lina. I thought that I would hate Gourry, as well, but after all we've been through, I honestly can't. There's a fine line between love and hate, and I think I'll retreat from the field and watch from the sidelines. After all, I truly love them both.

It is time for me to stand on my own."

Amelia watched as Sylphiel rolled the large pearl earring between her fingers before placing it beside its pair in the box.

"She's so much like this pearl," Sylphiel said, lightly touching the pink-tinged orb before closing the box on the earrings. "Lina began as something irritating, but the years have wrapped her in so many precious layers of happy memories."

She began to wrap the box in silver paper.

"I know I'm a coward, asking you to give this to her," she said with a small smile. She measured out a length of red and silver ribbon and cut it.

"Well, now I understand why you want to avoid her, Miss Sylphiel. But… but there's got to be something…"

Sylphiel held up her hand and stopped Amelia from continuing.

"It's also hard for her, too, Miss Amelia. We're still friends, but that doesn't mean that I should have to see him again. I don't want to make things awkward."

Amelia watched Sylphiel finish wrapping Lina's gift. "It hurts that much, huh?"

Despite everything, she took a deep breath and smiled.

"It will always hurt, I think. But it's already becoming a dull ache. I think it's about time someone liked me for me, and not for my cooking."

Sylphiel winked, and Amelia wrapped her in a big Seyruun hug. Releasing her, she declared, "I'll make sure she gets these."

"Give her my love… Give them both my love," Sylphiel said, and the heaviness in her heart lightened. She was confused at how surprisingly easy that was. Maybe she could get through this heartbreak.

No. She would get through it.

She would survive.

A/N: This chapter was extremely difficult for me to write, since I'm not overly fond of Sylphiel as a character. I thought of her as a flat, shallow character (but then again, when I first watched Slayers, I believed that Amelia was the same, and she's my favorite one!). I figured the best way for me to understand her was to write as her. I found that as I wrote, she became more rounded, deeper than I thought she could be. By the end, I found that I could sympathize with her plight and her heartache. I don't believe she'll make another appearance in L&L or in WML any time soon, but she's definitely made me realize that she can be an interesting character after all.

Thank you to everyone who's read these little side stories, and I hope you enjoyed this one. (A special set of thanks to jesphoenix05 for the idea of the 'ninja lunches'. Hugs!)

As per new ffnet rules, I can't post my replies, so I shall do so via their system. For you who reviewed without signing in, thank you for your votes of confidence! Thanks for everyone for keeping with me, and I hope you enjoyed this one! Hugs to you all!

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