Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
Still I can't say what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

"Cannonball" by Damien Rice

Today was not a good day. For one, my hair looked like a racoon had put up camp in it. For two, my new job sucked ass. When Nabiki promised the job I thought I'd be behind a desk, not a casket. I am a greeter. Not at Wal-Mart, not at Staples, but at Marvin's Mortuary for the Dead. What other kind of mortuary is there?

Everyone is scary here. There's the owner, Creepy Marv, who has a fascination with portraits. He's asked to paint me before and I declined because he's creepy. His reply was simply "One day you'll be desperate enough and then I'll be there!"

If I get that desperate I'll shoot myself in the foot. No one would want a portrait of that . . . except maybe Creepy Marv.

He does most of the business handlings, and there's really only the make up man and the janitor/handyman Yo. Yo is a dead ringer for the crypt keeper and talks just as eerily. Sometimes I'll have to stay over time and help lock up if Marv – how unsafe is that, I'm new I could steal pens – is off gallivanting and I'll hear him squeaking by, talking to himself. He's probably talking to the infamous "Ghost of the Past" that came here and robbers stole from his body.

I've always thought it's a bad idea to spread a story that franchises our bad security, but the public eat it up.

My father doesn't like that I work at a western-style funeral home, but money is nice. We've had the demand and so, I suppose, it was bound to happen sooner rather than later.

Tonight is an open casket, they always get the crowds. My feet are sore from the gorgeous four inch heels I'm wearing, but they're turquoise sling backs and have been through a lot with me. Well, actually I got them last week as a me-present for catching my boyfriend with my sort of, but definitely not anymore, friend Kara sharing secrets in his apartment. So, they've been through that with me and they'll be with me for the next two weeks while I have fifty bucks in my account because these puppies were expensive. That'll be an experience too, so really, they're old friends now.

This morning I put on a deep cut v-neck silk white halter top with a flowy, too-the-knee turquoise skirt that I adore and matches my new favourite shoes. Probably not the best work attire but damn if I didn't look hot.

I know they'll just be old people here tonight and I'll only get hit on by Creepy Marv, but at least I feel sexy, which is very important after your no good boyfriend cheats on you.

I took my post by the door and greeted the slow moving guests as they piled in. Old men in suits with big coats, old woman in hats I don't remember ever being popular; this job has its perks, these people can be adorable and kind.

An old woman hobbled by and stopped in front of me. She was wearing a purple dress with a matching hat and white lace lining it, drooping down the sides. She looked like a bee keeper. She stood about four foot seven and as she poked her head up to glare at me I inwardly sighed. I can just tell what comes next some times.

"Akane Tendo? That you, Akane Tendo?" The old woman crooned, leading with her nose, scrutinizing me. She looked like she was looking for a contact on my face.

"Yes, that's me, how are you? I love your hat." Oh look at me, such a wonder host.

She had nothing in her hands so they sat at chest level, hovering for something to poke at. "Why aren't you married? Your sister has a fine husband."

"Which one?" I asked stalely.

Okay, not as good hostess behaviour, but I get this question so often I want to shoot something! So what, both my sisters have husbands. Nabiki probably sees hers once a month; she's always off travelling and on business trips. I'm pretty sure they're married for some secret marriage-tax break.

Kasumi has a wonderful husband though. Tofu and Kasumi are living with four adorable kids. I admit, they're not always adorable, but they do take after their parents which is one heck of a positive gene pool!

"Both." She sneered. "Good strong marriages, good strong girls. Why aren't you married, then?"

She stared at me as if I had the plagued.

I spoke through gritted teeth, smiling whilst ringing the fringe of my skirt. "Oh I don't know, I suppose all the good men are taken."

"Not all of them." A voice behind her said. A male voice.

I smirked, still staring at the woman, she stared back. Cockiness, something me and the evil witch both loved to sneer at.

"Don't think there are just frogs left, Prince Charming?" I asked, in my snootiest, we-were-talking voice.

My jaw literally dropped and my eyes bugged out. Standing behind the witch was a taller, stronger, leaner version of Ranma Saotome; the Ranma Saotome that stood me up on prom night and vanished forever. The same Ranma Saotome that had been my arranged-since-birth fiancé.

Screw the good hostess thing, I was gonna maul his ass! I stepped forward, eyes gleaming. If this were a TV show, there would be little flames in my eyes and my ears would be smoke stacks.

"You slimy bas-" I started before he raised a finger, face emotionless, to my lips.

"Quiet please, the service is starting." He said, with the tiniest bit of mocking as everyone filed in.

Before I could say anything the old woman stepped on my exposed toes. I let out a shrill shriek of pain as she stepped down.

"Ow! What did you do that for?" I asked her, but when I looked up from inspecting that my big toe was still attached, the hall was empty. Everyone had piled into room and the doors had been steadily closed by Merv.

I stood alone in the eerily quiet hallway as the service continued in the next room.

I needed a seat and, more importantly, I needed a new job. This one wasn't one of those glamour things where you get to do something fun and meet famous people, but the pay isn't great. The pay sucked and I stared at dead people and got called a harlot by old woman all day. That was not a glamour job.

I moseyed over to the table to the side of the front hall, a picture of clouds on one side, and trees on the other. Very vague, very awe-inspiring, and very half price when Merv bought them. I didn't think anyone would hear me crying out here in pain, but just in case, I decided to take the pain and cringe.

I forced myself to sit down at the wooden chair in front of the table as big as a chess board and rest. I stared down and saw a big scrape across the top of my right foot! That evil old woman took off with half my foot! Okay, maybe I was being a little over zealous, but jeez, what did I do to her?

Once I inspected it thoroughly with my eyes I got the intense urge to poke it. The scratch was stinging and the urge was unbearable. My hand inched closer and I finally shut my eyes tight and prodded.

"Yow!" I yelped in pain.

When the hell was that a good idea!

I slowly opened my eyes to see my foot looking back at me with the same scratch: the poking was pointless. In front of them though, were very expensive looking leather shoes. Attached to very Armani-esque pants. I scrolled up very slowly and landed in the man's deep blue eyes.

"Hey stranger." He said, remnants of a laugh apparent from when I yowled.

My cheeks began to turn red with embarrassment.

Wait, he was Ranma Saotome. He stood me up on prom night. This selfish jerk didn't deserve to be able to walk! I was going to chop off his legs!

"You disgusting jerk!" I whispered harshly, venting through my hands because any higher and everyone in the place would hear. "What are you doing here?"

He grinned his famous grin and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Paying my respects. What's really interestin' is what you're doin' here."

He said it as a statement, but I knew it was a question.

I stared at the doors to the service. "How did you get through? I definitely would've heard you leave."

He stared at the surroundings. "Why would anyone wanna work here?"

"Are you insinuating that I have a boring job?" I asked, still in a harsh whisper, praying they would all put ear plugs on so I could scream at the top of my lungs and break his ear drums.

"No, I'm insinuatin' you've got a creepy job." He said.

Okay, I admit, he had gotten me a little perturbed. How dare he strut back into my life and make fun of my creepy job! That was my creepy job to complain and make fun of.

"Gee, this is a great conversation, but I've really got to go." I lied.

"Liar."

He flashed me an eye brow and the tips of his mouth curved up a bit. I gathered that now passed as a smile for Ranma the Handsome Robot.

"What?" I asked, knowing the answer.

He smirked and winked. "See ya later, babe."

And then he walked away. Out of my creepy work place that I really did want to quit from. It wasn't fun being the greeter at a funeral home.

The service opened a few minutes after he strolled out the front doors. I had watched him leave. How did he get me to let him go? Obviously, through telepathy or some sort of brainwashing.

Although, I must admit he was built like a castle; a bronzed, incredibly hot castle.

People waltzed out. They rushed in and yet, when my focus is on the crowd completely, they stroll.

I put on my hostess face and looked out for the witch. The old men and women nodded and smiled as they left the building and passed me. I politely muttered "thank you for coming" a few times and hunted through the crowd, not looking as gorgeous anymore, what with my scratch that was beginning to look strangely like a hickey.

Gossip travelled fast in this town. People are gonna think I've missed my evil ex Shaun so much I've been sucking my feet. Shaun was from the United Sates and came over here to learn all about the culture, got suckered into living over here and now pretends he never lived anywhere else. He's suck a dork, Kara can have him.

I spotted the hag and when she turned my way and we made eye contact, she tried to scuttle to the door. I stared hard at it and made a break for the exit, cutting past big hats and men laughing together loudly, toppling over a potted plant, but leaving it and emerging to trap the hag.

I made it to the door just as she scuttled close. Hah! Shows her!

I felt slightly uneven and stared down at my new favourite shoes. One of the heels had fallen out and, as I looked behind me, was sitting in the potted plant.

Oh this witch was going down.

"Why did you step on my foot before?" I asked with authority. "You know, I'm security here."

Her eyes widened and she clutched her hands together.

Okay so I lied, but this woman was mean so it was allowed.

She stooped in front of me, figuring she couldn't get past my mad security-guarding skills.

I waited impatiently, tapping the foot of my dead, turquoise shoe-baby.

"It's just that girls used to respect what they wore in my day, look at you, you look like a harlot!" She fumed at me motioning toward my boobs.

She had to be kidding. My skirt went to my knees; it was frigging longer than hers.

"You broke my shoe! I hope you pay for that." I told her in my best I-might-have-a-gun voice.

She made some shrill sound and Merv came in. Everyone else had left, not worrying about missing anything, knowing they'd hear about it tomorrow morning from someone.

"What's the problem Miss?" he asked, flirting with the old woman.

I almost gagged.

The old croon blushed and giggled.

Okay, now I'm really going to throw up. Who care's about vengeance, staying here would make me nauseous.

I grabbed my heel out of the plant, ran to the office and snatched my purse in record time, then ran out.

Before they could say a word I had lobbed out of the place, down the stairs and was half way to my car when I noticed something on the hood. A large, Ranma-shaped something.

I don't think he had heard me yet so I hid behind the nearest car, whipped out my key ring and pressed the alarm button. Usually used to scare cats from scratching my scratch-post Civic.

Right when I hit it, it started to blare and I heard the figure say things he'd never tell his mother. I jumped up from my hiding place after clicking off the alarm and saw him wiping off the front of his pants.

I totally made him jump to the ground and get his Armani's dirty. Oh I could be a supervillian or something.

When he saw me, he tried to act nonchalant and really had me doubting he had ever been shook up.

I limped over; one heel, one not so heeled, and mustered up as much dignity as I had in me. "There are so many ruffians in this neighbourhood, I never would've known."

He stared hard, "Ya shoulda been an actress."

He was back to leaning on my car; thumbs in the pockets of his tight fitting black jeans with a black t-shirt adorning his washboard stomach and toned shoulders. He still had the braid but that was the only remnants of the old Ranma I could find.

And then he began to speak.

"That guy in there, what'd he die of?"

I didn't like how he asked so I thought I'd play around with him. "Oh him? He died of two spoons to the ears."

"Oh yes," he said, without even flinching, "the great spoon kills of '95 all over again. Nobody touched their cornflakes for months."

I stopped my laugh half way and just ended up snorting.

He curled his smile up a bit and almost laughed. Bastard.

"Where the hell have you been? What the hell happened?" I asked, finally being allowed to be loud, tears now brimming from my eyes.

No, I was not going to cry, I was not going to be that girl.

He tensed. "I joined the army."

I stopped. What did he mean by that?

"What, like a kids-camp-army?"

"No." Ranma grinned, "This was the big-kids army."

I got the distinct feeling he was making fun of me so I lobbed around him and to the drivers' side of the car. He watched me go. I was freezing.

"Nice skirt. A little short."

I shot him a look that could kill a mosquito and he just stared back with an empty yet heated gaze.

I was way too drained for this; in the morning I would get over the shock of seeing him and be properly pissed, but for now, I just wanted to pass out in my bed. I turned the key. "I'm tired, my cool shoes are broken and I'm going home."

I opened the door and he turned a bit towards me. "Have you got a husband these days?"

I stared back. "Nope, you know that, you heard it from the witch."

I was cold and probably should have headed into my car, but for some reason I was willing to stay and fight this.

He acted like it had no effect on him. "Boyfriend?"

I clutched the top of the car. No point in lying, he'd find out tomorrow if he talked to anyone. "Caught him with my new arch nemesis last week."

He didn't change face. "Want me to kill him?"

This made me laugh if not because he actually looked serious. "Naw, waking up next to her in the morning is punishment enough."

Ranma stopped and stared back hard.

A moment of silence fell over us and I shivered in the dark. He immediately got off the hood and started to walk away, turning around for just a second to wink, circling back and walking off into the night.

I hoped he'd get attacked by bears.

I was driving home in seconds. I flipped up the heat and wriggled around in my seat to keep warm, bobbing my head to the music.

I pulled into my apartment's parking lot and pulled into one of the closest spaces a little too fast.

Truth was, in my car there was no heat, it was like an ice age. I could flip the dial to the top but for the last three months, nothing came from this. I kept it unfixed hoping it would suddenly start again.

I got out of my car with the funny feeling that I was being watched. Tensing, I turned and did a 360 of my surroundings. Nothing. I was paranoid.

Tomorrow I would hand out resumes after real work. Hopefully it would be a good day and somebody no one liked would die. Maybe Ranma would be dead. Something inside me didn't like the thought of that and I mentally punched myself in the stomach.

Before I knew it I had taken the ratty elevator up to my floor and gotten out. I clambered over to the door, stuck the key in the lock, turned, and fell into my apartment.

Home! Sleep!

I threw my keys on the nearest table, threw my coat on the floor, kicked off my ruined shoe-babies, and trekked to my room, not giving a damn about anything. I opened the door and jus as I fondly nodded "hello" to my bed, the phone rang.

It was 10 o'clock and still somewhat early, but I really wasn't expecting it.

I walked over and picked up on the third ring.

"Howdy."

"Hey, Akane?" Someone politely asked into the phone.

Su phoned all the time, she was a great friend and knew I lived alone. Yet, every time she felt compelled to make sure it was really me.

"Hey Su, what's hip-happening?" I asked in an upbeat tone.

I was crying inside: I could literally see my bed it was so close.

"Oh nothing, just wondering if you're still single and looking?"

I sighed, Su was like a mother; always trying to set me up. Truth was, I already had a date lined up; and after a night like tonight, it would be nice tell a certain someone tomorrow that I had a boy friend and nah-nah-nah-boo-boo. Of course, I wouldn't really be dating this guy but I could pretend we'd been going out for a while and lightly mention it to Ranma, knowing he'd follow me.

I met this guy while shopping for groceries and he set me up with his friend.I don't know how he did, but he was one smooth talker! We had even gone out after shopping and I had bought this gorgeous dress.

"Yeah," I said, already nervous, "I'm still . . . that."

She sighed in relief. "Well, my cousin is in town next week . . ."

Her cousin was five-foot-five and had the hairiest knuckles in the world which he combed and told me about frequently.

"Sorry, no can do if all goes well." I told her into the phone. "I might be taken by then. I'm going on a blind date. The guy's friend was in the supermarket and we made the date. I'm supposed to meet at Chez at seven tomorrow. He toldme to look for the most handsome guy in the room and ask if the crow caws at midnight."

I could sense herstare at the phone. This was supposed to be dinner, not a secret spy mission.

"Are you serious?"She asked, a little worried about the answer.

I laughed. "No, but he did say to look for the hottest guy. Pretty sure of it too."

Chez was a gorgeous french restaurant with wonderful food and free refills of wine (their gimmick).

I heard her panting over the phone. "Please, let me live vicariously through you this one time and tell me how it goes, okay?"

I sighed. Bed was right there. If I didn't say yes, she'd be phoning all night.

I sighed. "Alright."

I heard her squeal on the other end of the line. "Honey, you will not regret this! Dress up all sexy-like, okay?"

Yeah, right.

I slid the phone home into it's cradle and tromped off to sleep.

My pillow felt like heaven.

A/N: So I'll try to get the next one out crazy soon too. Tell one and all if you liked this story, but especially me in the form of reviews!