CHAPTER ONE

Ruthie was sitting in her room trying to do her math homework. But she couldn't concentrate. All she kept thinking about was Martin. She didn't know why she kept thinking about him, but she did. The thing with him and Meredith really bothered her. He doesn't love Meredith, she told herself, and they have barely been going out for a month. It is way too soon to be talking about love. She sighed, looking down at her unfinished math homework. She wished that Martin would notice her, but instead she was always going to be the friend, the one he complained to about his girlfriends, and not the girl he dated. She wished there was something that she could do to change that. A knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts.

Annie walked into the room "Could you come help me with dinner?" she said sitting down on the edge of Ruthie's bed.

Ruthie sighed, "Sure"

"Something the matter?" Annie said looking concerned, "Does it have anything to do with Martin?

"How'd you know?"

"I just sensed it. So, you want to tell me what's up?"

"How do you know if you love someone? As she said it, Ruthie could feel herself start to blush so she quickly lowered her gaze to her

feet.

"What! You love Martin?" Annie was shocked

"No … not really, it's just …. He told Meredith he loved her."

Annie pulled her daughter in for a hug.

"Yeah."

"But you know, this thing with Martin and Meredith it's still new, who knows what's going to happen"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing" said Annie giving Ruthie a kiss on the forehead. "I suggest at this point you stay friends with him, make more of an effort to

hang out."

Ruthie sighed, "Yeah friends, that's all I'll ever be."

"Why is being his friend such a bad thing?"

"It's not, it just hurts every time I'm around him because I realize that's he's always going to see me as Ruthie, 'his friend, his little sister'

nothing more." She could feel her heart start to ache as she said those words. She thought that she'd had her heart broken when Vincent

broke up with her. But this thing with Martin hurt a lot more than Vincent ever had, and she hadn't thought that would ever be possible.

Annie got up, "I don't think Martin has ever thought of you as a sister" She looked at Ruthie thoughtfully. "So, dinner?"

"Yeah, I'm coming." Ruthie follows Annie downstairs.

Martin was finishing up eating dinner. His dad was working late again, so he'd been eating by himself. Martin sighed, as he rinsed off his plate in the kitchen sink. Why does life have to be so complicated? He'd been thinking about this a lot, where his life was headed. The whole thing with Sandy was beginning to take a toll on him. Oh well, at least I have Meredith, he smiled at the thought. And of course, the Camdens they were like his family, and he couldn't forget Ruthie who despite the age difference he had begun to think of her as his best friend. He paused for a moment to think about how sad his life would be if he didn't have Ruthie in it, he remembered how pretty she had looked at school today, and a smile spread across his face. Wait, what am I doing? I shouldn't be thinking about Ruthie like this. Sure she's cute, but that's it, nothing more. Feeling slightly weirded out, he decided now would be a good time to call Meredith. As he reached for the phone, it rang startling him. He dropped the phone. "Damn it."

Martin pushed the answer button, "Hello?"

"Hi Martin"

"Oh, hey Ruthie" He felt his face erupt into a grin at the sound of her voice. He frowned, trying to make the smile go away.

"How are you?"

"I'm good. Just finished dinner," He moved over to the couch and sat down, "my dad worked late again."

"Oh."

Ruthie was silent and didn't appear to have anything else to say. She sounded nervous. "So …. What's up?" he asked her.

"Oh, right. Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out?"

"With you?" After realizing what he said, "I mean, you want to hang out tonight?"

"Yes," she sounded weird, "Why would I call and ask you to hang out, if it wasn't with me?"

Martin wasn't sure what to say. "Well, we have school tomorrow" which was true. He wasn't sure why he was trying to avoid hanging

out with her.

"I know," Ruthie sighed, sounding exasperated. "Forget it; we can hang out some other time." She sounded really upset

"You really want to hang out tonight?"

"Yeah. It's just …. I feel like we never hang out anymore, ever since you moved out of the house. You're always busy with school, baseball practice, and of course Meredith."

Martin sighed. He'd no idea Ruthie had been feeling this way. He felt really bad, Ruthie was the last person that he'd ever want to hurt.

"Ok, well what'd you have in mind?"

She paused for a second, "Well since it's already after dinner, we could go to the promenade and get ice cream? That way we won't be

too late."

"That sounds perfect"

"Ok great. Thanks Martin!"

"Sure," Martin said, he stood up. He smiled because she sounded so happy. "So, I'll come get you in a ½ hour."

"Great. See you then."

"Bye Ruthie" he hung up the phone and set it on the counter.

He stared down at the phone, and it suddenly hit him whatwas going on. Ruthie and I are going to the promenade to get ice cream. Calm down he told himself. It's just Ruthie. Despite knowing this, he suddenly felt very nervous at the idea of spending an hour or so with Ruthie alone. He didn't know why he was so nervous, but he had been noticing it a lot lately. Every so often he'd be thinking about Ruthie, or he'd glance at her in the hallways at school and his heart would begin to beat ever so softly. He could feel his face starting to get red as he was thinking these thoughts. Ok, get a grip. Realizing that he only had twenty minutes until he had to be at her house, he hurried upstairs. It'll be fine, he told himself. You've hung out with her plenty of times before. But yet, somehow he knew things were different. Trying to push aside these thoughts, he hurried to get ready.