Rehabilitation

Chapter 6 – Scott's Private Session

Scott leaned back when Susan Jones walked into the room and sat at her desk. "So, Scott, you're in charge of leading the X-Men?"

"Yeah." He said, twiddling his thumbs. "Sort of. You don't really 'lead' a group like that. I bark, they complain, then they do whatever it is I tell them NOT to do."

"Logan doesn't seem like the submissive type." Susan said, smiling. "Unless someone beat him into behaving."

"I don't even know if that would work." Scott said, missing the innuendo. "The only real upside to all of this is the fact that certain women crave the power. Jean, for instance, gets really aggressive when I display my authority."

"And what about Remy?" She asked.

"Why does everything always have to be about that dick?" Scott said, with surprising aggression. "The man is a walking disaster. Yes, sometimes I pity him, but still, he causes all of his own problems. Really, you should see him push Rogue, and then she pushes back and…Rogue is a very strong woman, let's just say that."

"Sounds hot."

Scott leapt to his feet. "WHAT?" He attempted to get up, but the doctor stood up and tackled him to the floor.

"Now, then." Susan said, straddling him. "Tell me about your wife."

"Ugh…I feel really weird, talking about my wife while some other woman is sitting on my crotch. Actually, I think this is going to feel weird no matter what we talk about." Scott said, nervously. "Let's see, my wife is crazy, and powerful."

"Mhmm." Susan said, wiggling. Scott groaned and clutched at the carpet. "Why do you stay in the relationship?"

Scott thought for a moment. "I don't. Every few years, she dies, and I move on." He sighed and thought of Madelyne Pryor's comparative kinkiness. And Emma. Jean was way too much of a heroine to ever walk around wearing so little. "And then, she comes back. I'm pretty sure she screwed up Emma's brain the last time she came back. N-u-t-s. She wants to have a baby now, and name her Rachel, since we have some obnoxious little bitch kid in an alternate future. Can't stand that girl. If it was up to me, I'd never have kids!"

The doctor looked at him with a confused expression. "It isn't?"

"Ha." Scott said, as he burst out laughing. "No. Not now, not ever. There's a mad scientist with a stockpile of my junk, probably scheming to cook up some optic-blasting little army. And then, get them sick with strange diseases."

"Why would he make people and then injure them?" She asked.

"Because." Scott said. "Mr. Sinister is an asshole. He always claims to have his reasons, but I swear that jerk does mean shit to my family because he thinks it's funny. Separated brothers? Ha! Hiding third brother? Even funnier! Let's make Scott a few kids, and name them all after himself! Cloning my wife? Hahaha! Can't hide from two telepathic, psychotic, unstable, sadistic bitches, can I?" His evil snicker dissipated into a nervous laugh. "Why me?"

Susan looked down at him. "While I can't come to any conclusive answer, I do believe it has something to do with the fact that everyone hates you."

"What? You're supposed to encourage me!" Scott said.

"No, I'm supposed to be honest and helpful." Susan said. "You're quite possibly the most dislikable good guy ever. You're uptight, have no sense of humor, and bitch worse than a woman."

Scott frowned. "How's this for uptight?" He pinched the woman's ass.

"Too little, too late, Mr. Summers." Susan said.

"Isn't there anything I can do to be more likeable?" Scott asked.

Knowing that there wasn't, Susan instead decided to have a little fun. "Yes," She said. "Learn humility." The bottom drawer opened, the whip cracked, and a few agonizing hours later, the three men were called into group counseling again.

…………………………………………………

Logan chuckled as he saw Scott standing next to the door, his lip twitching. "Kinda rough, eh?"

"Shut up." Scott said. "Where's Remy?

"Right here, mon ami." Remy said, strolling in with a nurse under each arm.

Scott and Logan both glared angrily at Remy, who shrugged and smirked. "Can' blame Remy f'bein' irresistible."

"But I could blast your irresistible head off your neck." Scott said.

"Don' be jealous, Scooter." Remy said. "Ain' Remy's fault you're a bitch magnet."

Logan looked lovingly at his claws. "Does anyone else think it's funny that Remy is calling someone else a bitch magnet? Your woman put you in a coma and tried to murder you, plus, she doesn't even put out!"

"AHEM!" Susan said. "After a careful analysis, I've decided that I've found a solution for the hostility between Logan and Remy and your leader, Scott."

"Oui?" Remy said.

"Scott should commit suicide." Susan said. She pulled out a bottle of pills and tossed them to Remy. "Just take them all. It's the best thing for you to do for your team."

Scott threw the bottle in the air and attempted to blast it, but missed and hit the lighting fixture, which fell from the ceiling and landed on his head, knocking him unconscious.

Susan looked at the mess with concern. "I'm afraid a blow to the head might have caused some brain damage."

Logan rudely laughed. "Are you fuckin' kidding? What's a little more brain damage to Scott Summers?"

"Hey, mon ami!" Remy exclaimed, "Maybe if we drop enough stuff on him, he'll become mentally retarded."

Logan nodded. "And then we can make him do what we want."

"This is hopeless. You are all idiots." Susan said, slamming a binder shut as she walked away.

………………………………………………………

Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Girl Interrupted, or Winona Ryder.

Next Chapter: Remy Private Session (and an attempt at chemical castration)

Comment!

Inantiodromia – Yeah, updating took longer than usual. I suck. Get over it!
Tokyo Fox – Dominating Logan…oh the mental picture!
draelynn – Wheeeee! Muchas gracias!
utsuri – Toes are your friends. But never dirty, sweaty toes. Ew.
Revelations – Hope you like this one.
Chylea3784 – Sorry if you hurt yourself. I'm kind of a bitch like that. Injuring people with humor. You should see what happens when I start telling knock-knock jokes. J/K
dizi – It really is the truth. He's so smooth, and then something REALLY bad happens. And then he returns to being smooth.