Rehabilitation

Chapter 7 – Remy's Private Session

Susan Jones walked into the room nervously. "Control!" She whispered.

"So, Mr. Lebeau, why don't we start by discussing the woman Scott and Logan keep talking about. Rogue?" Susan said, a bit nervously. Remy was going to be difficult.

"Non." Remy said, lazily stretching his body out. His long legs looked ridiculous hanging off the couch, but he didn't care. "Let's talk 'bout you, 'Doctor.' Remy known his fair share of crazy doctors, but y'quickly risin' on Remy's list of da nuttiest." Remy stood up and ripped his shirt off, randomly, the buttons flying all over the room. "Y'sleep wit all y'patients?"

"No!" She yelled. "And I'm certainly not going to sleep with you!" She crossed her legs and attempted to regain her composure.

"Remy t'inks y'came here wantin' to." Remy said smugly, sitting on her desk. "Not dat Remy can blame y'."

Susan pulled the bottom drawer opened and cracked the whip at Remy, who ducked and let it wrap around his boot, then yanked it out of her grasp. "Now, den, how y'wanna do dis? Remy likes t'go on top." Remy roughly pulled her close and kissed her.

The woman indignantly glared at Remy and shoved him off. "SO," she said, attempting to act professional. "I understand your whole team turned on and attempted to execute you. Is this true?"

"Oui." Remy said.

"Pity they failed." She said.

"Awww…Remy's feelin' da love. Maybe he make you feel da love in da best way possible?" Remy wiggled his eyebrows at the doctor.

She grinned. "It's true, you really are incapable of having a rational conversation."

"Remy's capable of doin' lots of stuff he don' do, like blowin' up da planet wit his powers." Remy said, remembering that his powers had been the end of several alternate realities. "But, if it means dat much t'ya, Remy'll behave. But, f'as long as Remy behaves hisself, y'gotta let him put his hands wherever da hell he wants."

Susan grinned. "Deal." After digging around in the desk for a few minutes, she pulled out a stopwatch and started it. "How do you feel about having Scott as your leader?"

Remy shrugged. "S'alright, I guess. Kinda dry on da personality."

"How would you feel about having my legs wrapped around you in a heated fling?" She said calmly. Remy stood up and attempted to come toward the woman. "Remember, Remy, behave! It's only been thirty seconds!"

Remy breathed deeply. "Remy t'ink dat would be very nice."

She smiled and leaned forward. "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

Remy suddenly sported a confused expression. "Remy don' bother makin' plans. Never gets t'follow 'em. He knows what he want t'be doin' in ten minutes, if dat helps."

"Behave!" Susan said.

Remy grinned. "Remy gotta question."

"I'm the therapist, Remy. I ask the questions." Susan replied. "Now, tell me about Antarctica. Wasn't it cold there?"

"Non." Remy said. "Dat Antarctic snow is warm n' toasty. Kinda like sittin' in front of a fireplace. Course, dat was prolly da frostbite, eh?"

Susan shrugged and stood up. "Remember Remy, you must remain calm."

A few seconds later, she strolled over to him and sat in his lap. "Now," She kissed his neck. "Tell me about your childhood."

'Merde, dis a bad idea.' Remy thought. "Well, Remy's parents abandoned him, lived homeless. Mon Dieu!" He shuddered as Susan rubbed his crotch through his pants.

"Calm, Remy." Susan said.

"Uhh…Got adopted by a thief." His hands gripped the edge of the couch as he felt deft fingers at his waist. "Grew up. Had some fun times, some bad…ahhh!" Remy's threw his head back and groaned as Susan smiled devilishly and stroked him, her hand slipped into his boxers from the waistline of his unbuttoned pants.

"Three minutes, Remy." Susan said. "Don't you dare move." She sucked on his exposed adam's apple. "Tell me about your failed marriage."

Remy's whole body was stiff as he attempted to stay completely still. "Uhhh…ugh!" He resisted the involuntary urge to thrust into the woman's hand. "Killed her brother at da reception."

"That's not very nice." Susan said, sympathetically, then mercilessly gripped him tightly. "I'm really beginning to doubt if you're really able to control yourself."

"Stop!" Remy yelled as she began to quickly stroke him. "Stop!"

She laughed evilly. "What's wrong, Remy?"

"Non! Non! Non! Nooooon." Remy angrily looked up at the doctor, who tapped a button on the intercom.

"Please send in Scott and Logan for their group session." Susan said.

……………………………………………………

Logan walked in and sat down next to Scott, then burst out laughing when he sniffed the air and then looked at Remy. "Hey Cyke, Remy splooged in his pants."

Remy despondently looked at them and raised a single finger in response.

"So." Susan said, ignoring them. "Remy is a product of his childhood."

"No shit." Logan said. "Rogue said the look on his face when he's abandoned to certain death is priceless."

Remy slugged Logan in the arm. "Y'should see da look on Wolfie's face when Scott kisses Jean in front o'him. It's worse dan when we told him we both fucked his little Jubes. Ha, or when he found out he was Pussycat Creed's frere!"

Scott began laughing.
SNIKT!
Scott stopped laughing.

"Anyway," Susan said. "After careful analysis, I've come to the conclusion that you three are specifically incapable of getting along." She folded her hands on the table. "I mean, we have Mr. stick-up-his-ass Summers, Addicted-to-sex-and-have-no-self-control Lebeau, and their vicious pet puppy. It's just not going to work."

Scott ignored the comments about himself and laughed. "Don't say 'sex,' or Remy might jizz his pants again."

"Shut da hell up!" Remy said. "Least she didn't beat Remy."

"Yeah, Gumbo, ya obviously escaped with SOO much more dignity than either of us." Logan quipped.

"Uhhh…why are we fighting each other? Isn't the 'doctor' the cause of all this?" Scott said.

Susan smiled. "At least we know why you're the leader. Good job, Summers."

Logan growled. "Can we hit her, Slim?"

"YES." Scott replied. "Actually, can we hurt her in a way that won't leave marks? Because, we're going to need to deny this."

Logan chuckled. "Get ready for the pain, girlie." He said, turning on the doctor, who simply smiled.

"Remy, if I'm hurt, I'll be unable to keep my word." She said. "You aren't going to let your friends spoil a possible night of hot, intense fucking, would you?"

Remy smiled. "Ain' not'in gonna come 'tween Remy and hot sex."

"Not even a couple of layers of clothing?" Scott added.

Remy shrugged. "Not even dat, mon ami. Now, if you will, beat Remy later for dis. Right now, Remy gotta take care of dis woman."

Logan leaned over and whispered in Remy's ear. "Give it to her in the ass fer me."

Then, Scott leaned into Remy and whispered something that made Remy's eyes widen to the point Logan thought his demonic eyes MIGHT pop right out of his head. Several seconds later, Logan gasped as his brain processed what his delicate hearing heard from the all-so-uptight Scott Summer say.

"Merde!" Remy said. "Dat's a little too kinky, even f'Remy. Maybe Jeannie need da counselin', non?" Remy turned to the therapist and licked his lips. "Now, mes amis, if y'could excuse Remy f'awhile."

As they were walking down the hall, Scott looked down at Logan. "Did Remy just choose sex before us?"

"Yeah." Logan said.

"And we're just going to take it?" Scott asked.

Logan stopped at a door and knocked. "Hell no." Winona opened the door and Logan smiled. "Remy asked us if we'd mail that painting back home for safekeeping."

Scott crossed his arms. "You know this may end with Remy dead."

"And?" Logan asked.

"Good point."

"Hmm…" Winona said. "I don't know if I'm interested in helping you."

Scott took Logan's lead. "We'll tell you about how our therapist abused us."

Winona's eyes lit up. "It's under the bed."

Meanwhile, Remy pushed the doctor's shoulders down farther into the desk, which held one more surprise for Remy. Susan reached into the desk and rammed a needle into Remy's leg.

"Ow!" Remy yelled as he untangled himself from her. "Remy got two fears: needles, and snow. What da hell was dat?"

"Chemical castration." She replied. "You'll have no libido for about a week."

Scott and Logan, on the other end of the rehab center, finished duct taping the painting in a box and sent it to the mansion, addressed to Remy. They knew Rogue would open Remy's mail before hers. "This is almost too mean." Scott said.

"Slim, Susan might not have beaten Remy, but one way or another, that little shit is gonna get it." Logan and Scott were on their way back to the room when a loud cry was heard.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"


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.Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Girl Interrupted, or Winona Ryder.

Next Chapter: An important question will be answered – What the hell would Gambit be like if he wasn't a pervert? Also, Rogue vs. Remy!

Comment!

utsuri – Yeah, you commented on toes on chapter 4.

Tokyo Fox – S&M Queens are so funny. I used to live with one. She had a really mousy, fragile personality, but in the sack, I've heard she made up it. It's always the sweet ones.

dizi – Yeah, I hadn't thought of that. They could always start picking on Colossus. Everyone loves to make fun of people with accents.

Inantiodromia – Glad you liked.