Disclaimer: We neither own Harry Potter, nor want to.
Summary: This condensed story is for all books in the series. If you flame us, at least have the dignity to put your name or e-mail.
This is from, like, a year ago, but I felt like reposting it. Enjoy.
Harry
Potter, Condensed
JK Rowing:
I will steal a bunch of other people's ideas, pass them off as my own, and then hypnotize ¾ of the world into thinking that it's the best fantasy book in creation.
Harry Potter:
Lets go to school. Lets save the school. Lets go home. Lets go back. Lets repeat (seven times).
Voldemort:
FEAR ME!… now allow me to lose to you teenagers again and prove myself to be the suckiest villain ever. I will explain myself in great detail so that help will have time to arrive, 'cause the evil side can never win in a children's book (and if it does JK Rowling is evil). Repeat (seven times)
Harry Potter's friends:
Let's do something that's slightly useful, but in the background of course, so that everyone pays more attention to Harry. Repeat (seven times).
Teachers:
Even though we are the teachers lets not do anything remotely useful. Repeat (seven times).
Dumbledore:
Lets not give anything a helpful explanation. Repeat six times and then die.
The End
By Grafiti RTK and ESZK